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The eight week challenge - For the ladies

uncomfynumb

By uncomfynumb
in Breaking Up Advice

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crymeout Contributor

crymeout

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Posted

Im on DAY 47........

 

im not feeling great, but im not given in i wont txt him. The way i see it now is hes the one that left me and so hes the one that will have to come back, which is not likely now. This 8 week challenge i dont think is going to work for me.

my ex has now taken pics of us together off his hotmail and so that kinda confirms now that hes moved on. Where as before i thought there was a chance he would come back as the photos were still on there so i thought maybe he was having second thoughts, but now the are gone.

i went out last night had fun and got attention as i always do but its not the same. I always end up thinking about the ex. I get upset and i miss him like crazy, but i wont give in ive been good and not sent no drunk txts or called him, eventho i was so drunk i prob couldnt even dial his number, and i dont even know if hes got the same number.

 

i hope i feel better soon as these feelings are seriously not fading in any way and its making me feel depressed. I have got my confidence back which is good as it kinda hit a very low point because of the things he said when he left,m but i am so lonely and i cant seems to even want to get close to any guy, now they can be the hottest one in the club and i still wouldt be interested in anything else other than a flirt. I dont want anything else with anyone else i want my ex back and right now that seems like thats never going to happen not in a million years...

 

oh btw i changed my hotmail pics to public in a hope he would see them and would miss me how sad am i

 

hope everyone else is hanging in there...stay strong dont give in to temptation its not worth hurting yourself

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violetka Explorer

violetka

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Posted

I feel sad and lonely and miss him. My mind wonders at all the things I have done wrong, although I know this is just the mood pendulum swinging from anger towards self blame and guilt towards anger again. Please help me not to contact him ...I feel a failure and very miserable.

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Whistle Apprentice

Whistle

Posted
Posted

Day 4 of No Contact for me. (And this is my first post here!) It's definitely not easy.

 

I'm actually afraid that I'd have to break NC soon. The thing is, my ex and I broke up over Instant Messenger. Disgusting, I know. It was partly my fault because I pushed it when he popped the "We have to talk." He already pointed to the big white elephant in the room and to pretend it wasn't there was just ridiculous. We both saw it coming anyway. He was having commitment problems and I was turning into a crazy person waiting for him to decide. Things weren't going well and we both knew we needed space from each other.

 

Ironically, we broke up during our college graduation. I received fantastic academic honors in exchange of a broken heart. But I digress.

 

He contacted me a few days after saying we need to talk in person to 'just settle things.' I don't see the need to anymore. Unless it's to fix and heal the relationship, I don't see the point of having my heart broken all over again. We've broken up and no amount of talking would ease the hurt or erase the fact both of us had something to do with the relationship's failure. I mean, at this point, I certainly want to fix it because I think we can--but if he doesn't want to, well, that's that. I don't want to chase after him. Anyway, I'm sure he's going to contact me about it soon and I'd have to respond to his message in some way.

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squirl Contributor

squirl

Posted
Posted
today is day 6 of nc...weight 63 kg... feeling better. need to work have not smoked two days

 

Awesome job, violetka! This helps me. Thank you.

 

You've inspired me. I wasn't going to track my NC but now I will since I need to quit smoking too.

 

Mine will also be in the style of Bridget Jones.

 

Let's see . . . Today is day 8. Today the ex replied to email sent to only him and me last Friday asking to get a certain group of people together for dinner. I did not respond to sender, ex responded he is able to get the group together (cough, cough, I don't think so). Plan is to excuse myself from dinner later in a private conversation with sender.

 

Weight 127 lbs . . . v.good . . have not smoked in 6 hours.

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jenmar Contributor

jenmar

Posted
Posted
it will be 7 weeks of NC tomoz i am losing all hope of this 8 week challenge now i do not think he cares and is not going to be in touch with me ever again

 

But you will finally know that he really just doesn't care.

It hurts.. it hurts like heck.. but you will find better.. someone who is good enough for YOU.

This guy clearly wasn't.

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deecbee Enthusiast

deecbee

Posted
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Hi ladies... thanks for this thread. I enjoyed reading through it thus far.

 

I'm on day 23. It feels like day 233, to be honest. Last I heard from him was a birthday text telling me he'll always love me and I'll always be on his mind, to which I responded "thanks." I was already in NC by then, but had to break it because I didn't want to be a total * * * * * ... but now I'm kicking myself wondering why I ever bothered to consider his feelings when it's obvious mine aren't important.

 

23 days is not a lot on paper, but at this point it feels like I'll never hear from him again!! Men have such short attention spans, they can compartmentalize. I feel like I may as well be a long lost memory at this point. *sigh*

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marshmlofluff Community Regular

marshmlofluff

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LOL. You made my DAY with this post. Thank you.

 

Thanks--I'm so glad. I've lost count of the number of weeks now, but I would say I am now entirely over him. I am still feeling the effects of the abrupt breakup--it was traumatic, and the hurt will stay with me for a long time. But I am over him.

 

This too shall pass.

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Whistle Apprentice

Whistle

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Day 5. God, I hate analyzing. I don't understand why I keep on revisiting the past when it's already done. No amount of regretting or pinpointing the problem would fix things. He's not contacting me (save for the random text last Saturday night). He's not looking for me. He's just not in to me. Period. I have to move forward and take care of myself.

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deecbee Enthusiast

deecbee

Posted
Posted
Day 5. God, I hate analyzing. I don't understand why I keep on revisiting the past when it's already done. No amount of regretting or pinpointing the problem would fix things. He's not contacting me (save for the random text last Saturday night). He's not looking for me. He's just not in to me. Period. I have to move forward and take care of myself.

 

((hugs)) I remember when I was at my many failed attempts to even get to day 5 with my ex, I never thought I'd see day 20. It does make a difference, trust me. He may not be thinking about you now, but from what I've experienced, men take at least twice as long to get in touch with the same emotions us females do. Go on, live your life. Go out, have fun, enjoy attention from other males. By the time you're truly moving on and not giving a sh*t anymore, don't be surprised to see that he's just coming to the realization that it's all over. Go ahead and feel those emotions, but when it comes to contacting him-- DON'T! You will feel so vindicated in the end.

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deecbee Enthusiast

deecbee

Posted
Posted

Dammit. I should take my own advice sometimes. I just logged into my sister's facebook (he randomly blocked me out of nowhere a few weeks ago, even though I had made NO attempt to contact him) and peeked at his. It got me nowhere but maybe 1.5 weeks backwards. DAMNIT.

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Whistle Apprentice

Whistle

Posted
Posted
Dammit. I should take my own advice sometimes. I just logged into my sister's facebook (he randomly blocked me out of nowhere a few weeks ago, even though I had made NO attempt to contact him) and peeked at his. It got me nowhere but maybe 1.5 weeks backwards. DAMNIT.

 

*hugs* Thanks for the kind words, deecbee. I still can't drop the habit of peeking at his profile, but there's hardly any movement. Bleh, but I should stop peeking also. I think it's not helping me move forward.

 

My cousin told me that you've never truly lived until you've gone through a breakup, so I guess I should grit my teeth and chalk everything up to experience. I know I should let go and stop dwelling, but wow, no matter how rational a person can be--there's a part of me that's incredibly stubborn!

 

(Ugh. It doesn't help he's best friends with his first ex. He's reassured me throughout our relationship that he no longer has any feelings for her, but bleh, I've never felt completely comfortable. The ex also assured me she's just salvaging the friendship, thinks he's not boyfriend material, and has some growing up to do. But people are fickle.)

 

I should stop thinking about him. So hard.

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