crymeout

id do anything to just spend the night with you again........ especially tonight... i wonder where you are what your doing who your with??? it hurts me so... i thought if any day you would make contact it would be today, but still nothing... i guess i really did mean nothing at all to you i feel lost without you... i love you so very much x

i wish my ex was thinking of me as much

DAY 4 Ok feeling lost still, still no contact from him either, i thought id of got an apology by now for the way he acted, eventho i feel just as bad... i guess he really wanted me gone and by me staying NC he must be happier without me... geeeesssss this hurts way too much...

END OF DAY 3..... want to conact him so bad, am worried about him, i truelly dnt believe he wanted to split, hes ill, i hate how i was with him when he left i said some horrible things... i wish i could take them back, i wish i could tell him i am here and that i care and that ill always listen..... gawd ive been a fool................. how can i carry on this NC, i know i need to heal and this is the only way, he left me ....but i just dnt think he is thinking rationally right now.....i knwo he will regret it later...

ok its day 3, i feel awful......... we got back together after he said he wanted to try and he loved me to then only go and leave the next day.. he has so much stress on him atm admited he felt depressed and dnt enjoy life.... i knw i must leave him alone like he wants as he believes its me thats making him feel the way he does,,,,boy that hurts i wanna call, i wanna text, i want to say sorry that he is feeling down and that i didnt mean all i said before he left, but i know he doesnt want to hear frm me.... this is just soo hard..

DAY 1 I am going to do this for myself, i cling on to the hope that he will be in touch as he has done this before, but i MUST NOT answer and i MUST try and move on as hard as it is. He told me he cares about me but doesnt feel the same about me anymore, there cant be no way back from that can there? he said he hasnt thought about me in the past 2 weeks and he hasnt missed me and the only time ive enterd his mind is when i text him and remind him??? how cud he after 2 and half years..... he is on my mind every second and i really do NEED to do this NC thing to help myself get over him, to move on, as much as i dont want to and i want him back, i have to try take some kind of control of the situation....i HATE feeling this weak, I am hoping in time i will heal, i CANNOT tho imagian myself with any other guy