Mrs.Murder Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 I've been dating my boyfriend on and off for about 4 years, and I have always had a slight suspicion that he could be gay. When I first met him he wore Pink shirts a lot, rarely ever hung out or flirted with any girls, and when he gave me his phone number, it was on a piece of paper that read "For a good time... call (xxx)xxx-xxxx" And above his number he drew two men having butt sex. At first I just thought it was just a strange sense of humor and he had a different sense of style... but another thing that concerns me is we have a very dull sex life. He barely ever kisses me with tongue and we only have sex maybe once ever 2-3 weeks. It makes me feel really bad about myself, and when I ask him why he has such a low sex drive he can't seem to come up with a good answer... He also spends a lot of time with his guy friends but none of them seem gay. I have cheated on him in the past so I thought that maybe its just insecurity issues but he was like this before I cheated... and we are very young so I don't think he should have errection problems, and I'm not fat or ugly so I don't think its that either... could he be gay? I've asked him before but he denies it. Link to comment
orangesoda Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 he might be, maybe not out of the closet. Or maybe bi. But you cheated on him, so that makes things a lot harder to read. I know plenty of guys who would look at a cheating GF with a lot less interest sexually, because, fair or not, we look at them as sloppy seconds, or someone else's leftovers. Link to comment
Kantriakhor Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 You've cheated on him and you wonder why he doesn't want to have a roll in the hay with you? I suggest working on the cheating thing, the damage it inflicts on relationships, sexually and otherwise, mean a lot of healing needs to be done. even if he was like this before. Link to comment
Perfect Dark Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 I don't think wearing a pink shirt a lot might make him gay. Maye the lack of sexual stuff is because he isn't into you that much? Link to comment
Mrs.Murder Posted September 20, 2009 Author Share Posted September 20, 2009 Well the reason I cheated on him in the first place was because he wasn't satisfying me then either... I felt like I needed a man whom I had more of a sexual spark with instead of feeling like my bf was just a "friend".... I asked him if hes not into me or just not attracted to me and he says that he is... but that hes just "Busy and doesn't have time to think about that stuff" Link to comment
Perfect Dark Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 Well the reason I cheated on him in the first place was because he wasn't satisfying me then either... I felt like I needed a man whom I had more of a sexual spark with instead of feeling like my bf was just a "friend".... I asked him if hes not into me or just not attracted to me and he says that he is... but that hes just "Busy and doesn't have time to think about that stuff" Why are you even together if that's the case? Link to comment
Mrs.Murder Posted September 20, 2009 Author Share Posted September 20, 2009 Well I still have feelings for him, and I want him to want me in a sexual way and keep wishing that things will get better but they never do. I'm considering breaking up with him though because I'm starting to realize i'm fighting a losing battle. But I just wish I knew why he is this way.... Link to comment
Perfect Dark Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 Maybe he just doesn't have a high sex drive. I don't see what's keeping you in the relationship IMO. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 Regardless if you love him or not, you aren't getting everything you need from this relationship. You even resorted to cheating just to get some sexual satisfaction. I'd leave him. Gay or not, something is not working with you two. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 Well the reason I cheated on him in the first place was because he wasn't satisfying me then either... I felt like I needed a man whom I had more of a sexual spark with instead of feeling like my bf was just a "friend".... I asked him if hes not into me or just not attracted to me and he says that he is... but that hes just "Busy and doesn't have time to think about that stuff" Does he know that you cheated? Link to comment
catfeeder Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 You don't need to diagnose him in order to diagnose a bad relationship. If he's not the right guy for you, then the sex of the person he'd rather be having sex with is irrelevant. Head high, and in your corner. Link to comment
hers Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Pink shirts have nothing to do with one's sexuality. If I had a cheating girlfriend who asked me if I was gay, I'm not sure I'd want sex with her either. Link to comment
chiguy Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 He's probably bi but more interested in boys. I'm closeted and I do my best to play it straight but I would draw the line at playing with a girl like this, it's just cruel. Link to comment
1WayTicket2Norway Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 the only way you are ever going to settle this is to confront him and work through the problems in your relationship. None of us can accurately judge whether he is gay or not, we can only speculate. if you feel that this is a genuine issue, then it is up to you to make things right. Link to comment
lukeb Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 You don't need to diagnose him in order to diagnose a bad relationship. If he's not the right guy for you, then the sex of the person he'd rather be having sex with is irrelevant. Head high, and in your corner. I couldn't have said it better myself Link to comment
I_Speak_Jive Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 and when he gave me his phone number, it was on a piece of paper that read "For a good time... call (xxx)xxx-xxxx" And above his number he drew two men having butt sex. Who says romance is dead :S Link to comment
chiefoptimizer Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 I don't think wearing a pink shirt a lot might make him gay. Well I don't know...I did ask for a pink baloon at the party last night Link to comment
Bella20 Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 If I had a cheating girlfriend who asked me if I was gay, I'm not sure I'd want sex with her either. Exactly. (10 characters) Link to comment
NightLily Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Well I still have feelings for him, and I want him to want me in a sexual way and keep wishing that things will get better but they never do. I'm considering breaking up with him though because I'm starting to realize i'm fighting a losing battle. But I just wish I knew why he is this way.... Eh I don't know if this means you actually love him. Consider this first: you could just be sticking around due to the compulsion to "win him over." You feel the need for reassurance that you are sexy because a dent in your self esteem and so you want his approval. Which, could be why you keep fighting for it but went elsewhere for temporary relief. Things like this don't usually get better. It doesn't matter if he is gay or not. If you aren't happy with the situation then end the relationship. Link to comment
hers Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 It also seems to me that you're looking for any reason to get out of this relationship without actually having to end it yourself. Otherwise you wouldn't have cheated or be wondering if he's gay. That's my thought anyway. Link to comment
hexaemeron Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Who says romance is dead The plug's gonna get yanked any second now. Link to comment
ceez Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 yea, it doesn't sound like he's the right guy for you gay or not. but you did say you guys are young so he could be trying to find out if he is gay, straight, or bi himself. Link to comment
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