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I've been dating my boyfriend on and off for about 4 years, and I have always had a slight suspicion that he could be gay. When I first met him he wore Pink shirts a lot, rarely ever hung out or flirted with any girls, and when he gave me his phone number, it was on a piece of paper that read "For a good time... call (xxx)xxx-xxxx" And above his number he drew two men having butt sex.

 

At first I just thought it was just a strange sense of humor and he had a different sense of style... but another thing that concerns me is we have a very dull sex life. He barely ever kisses me with tongue and we only have sex maybe once ever 2-3 weeks. It makes me feel really bad about myself, and when I ask him why he has such a low sex drive he can't seem to come up with a good answer... He also spends a lot of time with his guy friends but none of them seem gay.

 

I have cheated on him in the past so I thought that maybe its just insecurity issues but he was like this before I cheated... and we are very young so I don't think he should have errection problems, and I'm not fat or ugly so I don't think its that either... could he be gay? I've asked him before but he denies it.

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he might be, maybe not out of the closet. Or maybe bi. But you cheated on him, so that makes things a lot harder to read. I know plenty of guys who would look at a cheating GF with a lot less interest sexually, because, fair or not, we look at them as sloppy seconds, or someone else's leftovers.

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Well the reason I cheated on him in the first place was because he wasn't satisfying me then either... I felt like I needed a man whom I had more of a sexual spark with instead of feeling like my bf was just a "friend"....

 

I asked him if hes not into me or just not attracted to me and he says that he is... but that hes just "Busy and doesn't have time to think about that stuff"

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Well the reason I cheated on him in the first place was because he wasn't satisfying me then either... I felt like I needed a man whom I had more of a sexual spark with instead of feeling like my bf was just a "friend"....

 

I asked him if hes not into me or just not attracted to me and he says that he is... but that hes just "Busy and doesn't have time to think about that stuff"

 

Why are you even together if that's the case?

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Well I still have feelings for him, and I want him to want me in a sexual way and keep wishing that things will get better but they never do. I'm considering breaking up with him though because I'm starting to realize i'm fighting a losing battle. But I just wish I knew why he is this way....

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Well the reason I cheated on him in the first place was because he wasn't satisfying me then either... I felt like I needed a man whom I had more of a sexual spark with instead of feeling like my bf was just a "friend"....

 

I asked him if hes not into me or just not attracted to me and he says that he is... but that hes just "Busy and doesn't have time to think about that stuff"

 

 

Does he know that you cheated?

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You don't need to diagnose him in order to diagnose a bad relationship. If he's not the right guy for you, then the sex of the person he'd rather be having sex with is irrelevant.

 

Head high, and in your corner.

 

I couldn't have said it better myself

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Well I still have feelings for him, and I want him to want me in a sexual way and keep wishing that things will get better but they never do. I'm considering breaking up with him though because I'm starting to realize i'm fighting a losing battle. But I just wish I knew why he is this way....

 

Eh I don't know if this means you actually love him. Consider this first: you could just be sticking around due to the compulsion to "win him over." You feel the need for reassurance that you are sexy because a dent in your self esteem and so you want his approval. Which, could be why you keep fighting for it but went elsewhere for temporary relief.

 

Things like this don't usually get better. It doesn't matter if he is gay or not. If you aren't happy with the situation then end the relationship.

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