Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[sunshine34]

Got home to Miami today after 3 weeks...

Landing was a bit sad, bc I thought for sure I'd be seeing u when I got back.. also somehow delusionally thought I'd get a message from u bc maybe the reason u ghosted me was bc u wanted to talk in person.. not. It was just bc u don't care and it was easier to ignore me. Maybe now I'll accept that and be able to stop thinking about you every second I'm not focused on work

[luisannalui]

It is a bit easier today. Only a bit but still easier to manage life today than yesterday. No contact since . . I am not sure if its 24 or 48 hours and I don't want to dig into it at this moment. I think 48 hours but not sure.

 

I slept last night. I woke thinking of her but not insane, nightmarish thoughts. They were only sad thoughts. I have been thinking sad thoughts a lot but in the middle of the sad thoughts I will have moments where I think of something completely different and actually smile. Life is getting better. I can do this. I still check for her messages frequently and I am relieved/hurt when there is nothing.

 

I am like the guy who quits smoking but keeps one cigarette in his pocket just in case he cannot handle it. That works for some people.

 

If my ex is the person I have always believed her to be (and still believe to some extent) then she will not contact me this time. Not for many months at least. After that I can deal with it. I believe she needs to let go as much as I do and is probably getting the same advice I am getting about No Contact. I believe she is not a stupid lady.

 

I will surely plan to treat myself when I reach the 30 day mark. Once I get past 1 week of no contact I shall figure out when the 30 days will be up and make a plan. The first week of No Contact is a sensitive time. I can only think of getting through each minute and each hour and each night without contacting her. I will begin to believe in myself more when 7 full days of No Contact have come and gone.

 

What do you suggest treating myself with? What will your treat to yourself be?

 

 

Oh that's great you passed 48 hours! How about you treat yourself when you pass the 7 days? Then when you pass another week and so on. When you complete a week buy something you want, when you pass a month go to a nice restaurant with friends, reward yourself for your willpower and determination. Listen, she may try to jeopardize your progress- but think for a second, maybe right now you feel the urge to talk to her but deep deep on you , you are starting to feel better- don't let her bring you back to zero just to boost her self-ego. In this month of NC my ex have try three times already to contact me, but I learned my lesson -I'm not letting her to get to me. She's block everywhere and I changed my number. Why to keep putting everything easy on them? We need to give them the opportunity to grow apart from us, to learn from their mistakes as we are, to value what they once had. They won't do none of this if you keep having the doors open for them. More importantly, we need to think of ourselves, prioritize ourselves!

 

In the progress; Do something that you always wanted to do, do something that used to make you happy before she came to your life, maybe something you stopped doing because she didn't like it? I also recommend you to start working out, it does help as well.

 

Well in my case, During the first weeks I treat myself buying new clothes (I realized that I only bought things for her and baby son- as I always put them first) Today I'm on day #30 no contact and I went yesterday to celebrate with my best friend. We went to have some drinks we talk about life, I really had a good time. Once I completely over it, I will treat myself with a nice vacation.

 

Keep it up! Trust in yourself!

[FooledAgain]

Oh that's great you passed 48 hours! How about you treat yourself when you pass the 7 days? . . .

Keep it up! Trust in yourself!

 

Thanks. I will do that. I have a plan. When I pass 7 days No Contact I will get a haircut. Not just a normal haircut but a haircut that a friend has and that the ex never liked. I always admired his willingness to get a wild and wacky haircut so that's what I will do. After all, I probably won't like it long term but I will like it long enough to post on Facebook and give my friends a laugh before letting it grow back.

[FooledAgain]

4 days no contact and the truth is hitting home. To my ex: I have been fooling myself that you love me and you just needed to leave me to "find yourself" and that you would come back. Truth is you dumped me because you thought you could do better. You think I am not good enough for you so you left. You took a decent human being (ME) who treated you well and did his best to be a good husband to you and you crapped on me so you could "get ahead". You gave me bs that if I just wait a while you will get it out of your system, find your adventures, and come back to me. I know now that's bs. I still want to believe the fantasy but with every passing day of no contact the reality sinks in that you dumped me for a younger guy, better sex, and more money. If you can do that then you do not love me as a wife should love her husband and I should never accept you back. Even now my heart is writing "should never accept you back" while my head is saying "will never accept you back" I am still conflicted, but it gets clearer every day. I hope you enjoy your adventures but don't come back. Even if I want and accept you back, you will only end up hurting us both again.

[FooledAgain]

Just hit the 4 day mark, to the minute. And I can't stop thinking about you today. Not one of my best days BUT I did not contact you. I said so many things to you in my head. I am so hurt that you have not tried to contact me but I know you said you would not so either you are having such a great life you don't care about me any more or you are just keeping your word. I don't know any more. I do know I want to fight with you about leaving me for a younger, richer, sexier guy. What if I did that. What if you had stayed with me until you were a bit older and fatter and not so sexy and then I decided to trade you off on a younger, sexier, skinnier, less maintenance gal. What would that make me? In my book that would make me a scumbag for doing that. So I guess the same applies to you, does it not?

[KMO7970]

FooledAgain, I'm right where you are, having just gotten through day 4. That said...

 

Ex, I know you said we need a break before starting over as friends, and that even though you've been silent, you think of me constantly. Then again, that was 4 days ago that you said that. Everything from before seems like a bit of a lie at this point. It's almost like you did to me what your ex did to you: got whatever benefit you could from me (in this case, getting over your ex) and then moving on as if nothing ever happened. I know I could be wrong, but I have nothing to go on other than sheer silence. Do you feel the silent time is for MY benefit or for YOURS?

[Furrehjohnson]

I am not angry that you decided to break up with me. I am angry that you lied to me and thought you could just live off me while you moved on to another guy. Where you always just using me? How long where you seeing this guy and flirting with him before you just decided that I was in the way? A week and a half is not really long to go right from a break up into a new relationship. Your so heartless to just use me and move on with no remorse or care for someone you hurt and pulled along for so long. You've made me out to be your villain, me down, spread rumors at my job so that Id be harassed by our coworkers until I had to quit. How can you feel no remorse for pushing me down into a point were I have to rely on your help through my depression and money then just leave and threaten to take even more when I do not let you stay living with me after I find out your with a new guy? I just wish you would have been honest with me.

[sunshine34]

Finally thought I had stopped my destruction and found someone who seemingly cared for me... finally officially started dating someone who really all along wasn't a good communicator but now it just hurts more bc we are a couple. Not sure when I'm going to seee him and he does this thing where he ignores my questions and replies w something off topic. Not sure why. Just know I want to scream and hide and just give up on dating. Give up bc it's exhausting give up bc in tired to be willing to pour everything into something and continually be broken down time after time left wondering why? Why am I so disappointed w anyone I choose to date ? Why can't I find my spencer and y can't I love myself enough to get it ? Why is it taking so long and will it ever happen??

[Vivi0476]

Finally thought I had stopped my destruction and found someone who seemingly cared for me... finally officially started dating someone who really all along wasn't a good communicator but now it just hurts more bc we are a couple. Not sure when I'm going to seee him and he does this thing where he ignores my questions and replies w something off topic. Not sure why. Just know I want to scream and hide and just give up on dating. Give up bc it's exhausting give up bc in tired to be willing to pour everything into something and continually be broken down time after time left wondering why? Why am I so disappointed w anyone I choose to date ? Why can't I find my spencer and y can't I love myself enough to get it ? Why is it taking so long and will it ever happen??

Try not to see dating like a job interview or panning for gold. That's work and it should be fun. I was seeing someone for a while who did this get close/pull away, get close/pull away thing. As much as I was beginning to really like him, the rollercoaster was too much. I went NC on his fickle butt. Of course the "good morning, sunshine." Texts still come through I'm thinking he just wants to see if ill bite. But...NEXT! Anyway, my point is, it should be fun. Cut this dude off and work on you. You'll find "him" when you stop looking for him

[KaylaOrlandooo]

Day 6 of no contact for me

This truly is a rollercoaster yesterday I was a wreck crying the entire day wondering why he left me for the other girl, just losing my mind. But I kept him blocked still and didn't contact him. Now today I feel great! I'm not sad I'm okay like actually in a good mood. I guess this is just all apart of the process I'll have good days and bad days

[cami393]

I refuse to break NC!

[dakun]

I'm feeling low today.. I always wish I just can hate you.. but I know I don't want my heart to be filled with hate.. it will eat my happiness..

I scream in my mind sometimes:

"How can you be so cruel?! All those words were lies! You only think of yourself and not brave enough to face the consequences and leave me alone with desperation.. you coward man! All those love words were lies! You live in your fears and if you don't move from there, it will eat you! I've said you will regret this, you will really regret that you let me go as if it's easy for you to find someone like me who can fully accept you.. I'm counting my days to happiness.. your days to regret is counted.. I still can't believe you can do this to me.."

[FooledAgain]

[ATTACH=CONFIG]11330[/ATTACH]This it a pic I will upload but I have to add words or the software will not let me post

[Cali187]

I was a good Bf. I never disrespected you. Yes I left before but that doesn't mean I still don't love you... Now your inlove with someone else and I'm sitting here trying to mend my shattered heart. The things I did for you. No other guy will ever do. Yet even though you say you love me. You don't wanna hurt this other guy? I constantly drag myself through the mud over and over again. Yet you don't care... I find myself alone... nobody to talk to. No close friends.... It's torture.... I wish this nightmare would end....

[anonymous34]

I hate you ... you are ugly inside and out. You are a sick sociopath who enjoys hurting others for pleasure. I wish someone hurts you like you did to me.. You dont deserve love. Because you are a liar. I wish you the worse. You are an entitled little rich boy who thinks you can go around hurting others for your amusement and i dont know why i ever even thought you would have something. You're disgusting and Im glad I was seeing other people i didnt want to get attached to you because i feel like deep down inside you didnt deserve the real me...a woman always knows ... sometimes we just fail to listen to the voice inside of us telling us "he's a scum bag" but due to all the bull you were told media and story books you think.. hey maybe i'll ignore myself this one time cause Im not right... what empowers me the most is knowing that you were a liar...couldnt quite prove it .. but i felt it...

I knew it. I told myself this for years... but because i felt so hurt from past experiences you always used that to your advantage and this is why i even thought about you like that. You wiped my tears and always offered an ear when i was feeling fearful and alone. I dont need you anymore. I dont need you anymore... I can get myself back up now.

 

Thank you.

[Onderoo]

I’m probably wasting time writing this because you most likely won’t understand me anyway and will take from it what you want to hear.

 

Here’s the thing Stephanie. I make mistakes like everyone else and say and do things that I later regret. Im not perfect. Despite this, I apologised to you, took on board your reasons for doing what you did and tried to fix things between us because I thought what we had together meant something to you. You knew and understood my situation and what I was going through at the time. It wasn’t too late to turn things around. I was ready for it. But you didn’t seem to care.

 

You felt it was more valuable going with someone new, who you wasn’t sure about or compatible with, trying to make it work and throwing away everything we had. A person who loves someone doesn’t do that. It really doesn’t need an explanation, your actions spoke the truth. You can still try and point your finger at me. But there’s really no more excuses.

 

We both may have grown as people since then, but if it meant having to do it apart and with other people instead of together, then we’re not right for each other. I want someone to want me at my worst. Not just my best.

 

I’m sorry about your relationship, But you chose to be with this person over me and didn’t care how I felt about you and how much it was hurting me despite finally having the courage to open up and tell you the truth. Your love for me wasn’t real… True love has no conditions.

 

You made your choice and now have to live with your past decisions like you once told me to do 4 years ago.

 

I really hope you find whoever or whatever it is you’re looking for… Best of luck to you.

[Scotty123]

I know this will sound off.... but you will never find anyone like me again. You will never find anyone who was as patient and kind towards you. I gave you so much .. so much patience ... so much kindness ... so much love. And you cast me aside as if I was nothing. And bescause of that you will go down in my history as my last relationship. No more cause I have had enough. I have had enough of being kind, being considerate, being patient and committing to people who say one thing and then do another.

 

I would like to wish you the best in your next relationship that you are just going to "find as soon as you can" .... but I can't. So have a good life .... and I hope I never see or hear from you agian for as long as I live !!

[LonelyJedi]

I still love you, I always will.

I will never forget our time together, how could I?

 

You were the longest relationship for me and I was the longest relationship for you too.

We were going to get married at the end of this year and you were so happy.

Despite all of your flaws, I still loved you for who you were.

 

But I allowed your family to get to me, but I apparently realized it too late. You allowed your mother to manipulate you into hating me and being cruel to me... even though you would always tell me that she doesn't have an affect on our relationship.

 

I miss you more than I can bear, you purged your social media account of ALL of our memories that we shared. I will never delete the pictures that I took of us, it was a time in my life that I was truly happy... and I know you were too.

 

I am now having to live in the house we picked out together, alone.

I now have to look at all of the paint colors, granite counter tops, and remodeled bathroom that we picked together... alone. All painful reminders of my failures.

I now have to live with your ghost, haunting me in my waking life and in my dreams.

 

I hope one day you will return to me and realize that I was the best you ever had. You said that you wish me nothing but the best, but you have never once checked on me to make sure I was OK. My mother even called you crying because she was worried about me. You wouldn't even respond to me, your mother told me to leave you alone.

You have become twisted by your family & their lies. The girl I proposed to is gone, consumed by your mother. You ceased to be the girl I always knew and became evil. When that happened, our relationship was destroyed.

 

I have frequent thoughts of suicide, feeling that my life can just be "reset" back before you left me.

Those thoughts scare me, I have started going to counseling and it helps a little bit... but not much.

I have even dialed the Suicide Prevention line, hoping for some closure.

I have stepped far below than I ever would have thought... I felt like we were on top of the world, but then you destroyed my world & my life within hours.

I know I shouldn't let you have this power over me, but it's the love I still have for you.

 

I hate to see you destroying your life and undoing all of the progress that we made together.

I hope that you can forgive me for my flaws, just like how I have always forgiven you.

 

I love you forever... and I hope to see you again.

 

- Your Everything

[rolf12]

It's one day since we last contacted and you finally told me it was a clean break you needed, after giving me mixed signals for 3 months. I love you loads and am crying at the moment. You say your hopeful for us, I hope your telling the truth. The past 3 months without time to heal for me gap

[rolf12]

Has been so hard. You said you didn't do it on purpose. While your happy now I'm starting my grieving. I have learnt from the mistakes I've made but I know I need time away from you, because your mixed signals build up my hope, and then make me needy and clingy. This is not what you wanted from me, but it is what you made me. I hope I lose some feelings for you because I wanted to get back to my confident self. Regain my own life. I stupidly dedicated myself to you, we smothered each other. I just wish 3 months ago, we'd broken the contact. Things could be better for us now, even as individuals. I miss you terribly. Mid way thru day 1 and your on my mind all day.

[rtyu4567]

You should know that it is pretty awesome not to walk on egg shells anymore or be around someone who gives you the silent treatment and makes you feel like it's all your fault. Thanks for the freedom and lessons and for helping me figure out what I want in a partner.

[Sillybillycat]

I miss you. I miss talking to you and having you around. I miss our Sundays, and out wednesdays pizza nights.

Why did you do this to me? Do you hate me? Why? What did I ever do to you, that justifies the way you treated me? Why do I miss you so much?

I failed to listen how bad you were, failed to see how twisted you are inside. You think you can hurt other people as long as they aren't useful for you anymore, as long as you're fine. I was there for you for nine freaking months, even though you hurt me a lot of times throughout the years. I truest loved you, and it didn't matter at last, because you failed to see that.

How am I so easily forgettable after all? I'm the only one who was always there, who honestly cared. How don't you miss that?

I miss you like a crazy today. Not everyday, but today. I wonder what would happen if I randomly texted you. But i won't. It wouldn't be healthy for me, you're not a good person anymore. You're just a rich kid who thinks he's a man, you need people you can use. Why would I ever want to be with someone like you, knowing all this? You were charming, you were the best... were. I tried so hard... and I feel so stupid and invisible right now. I wonder if you ever think of me.

I miss you.

[Dominique]

I Miss you and the kids. Every day. I hate thinking of you with someone else. I love you so much and I wish you would just love me back the way I deserve...the way I loved you... And just come home. I feel sick thinking of you with her. I thought what we had was real. Now I'm alone and crying and you're off playing games with her. My heart is so broken. And the worst part is i still miss you. Please call me today.

[robin13]

sr, you are everything to me. I hate your past, I hate how you ignore me, how every single guy is chasing you right now and I just sit alone in my room thinking how you were once mine. I am totally obsessed with you. I have never felt like this way about a girl before. You brought me to my knees. I had no idea what you were capable of making me feel this way the first time I laid eyes on you. I don't know how you feel.

[robin13]

Also, when you are being a and sending me those messages about you and other guys to try and make jealous. I smile and I think of every single girl i was with under your nose. this is total karma. i was a compulsive cheater a compulsive liar. I don't deserve you, but i cant help thinking about what could have been.