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Onderoo

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About Onderoo

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  1. I agree with everyone's responses. You won't see this yet as you're still hurting and emotionally invested. But now's the perfect opportunity to review your values and be honest yourself. Do you really want to be with someone who's this solipsistic and bolts the minute a calamity happens? Take the time to heal. If and when she returns. You will then be able to take the advice given and make a healthy assessment as to whether she deserves a second chance with you. Personally, I wouldn't and would tell her to get the next bus back to Carolina. Best of luck, Onderoo
  2. Congratulations for finally getting out. The fact that you endured for so long was a blessing because it forced you to see your shortcomings so you can learn from it and become stronger... Of course, it's always preferable to not have to learn these the lessons the hard way. But it happens... We're all only human after all. I say this because I recently experienced something similar. Not with one girl, but two... Her and her best friend scheming to manipulate, hurt and make me feel worse. All at the expense of my emotional health and for their own ego and validation. Pat y
  3. It's not uncommon for girls in their more fertile years to mess around with Chads and Tyrones and get involved with questionable behaviour. Simply because they can... But the gravy train doesn't last forever, which tends to be a harsh reminder at a certain stage in a girl's life when she begins to realise that she can no longer compete with the younger crop who are after the same Chads and Tyrones of the world. Hence the convenient reformation of religion and faith as a last ditched attempt to cover their past discretions so as to have some chance at landing a husband who sticks arou
  4. I can really relate to this in a lot of ways as I'm myself a fearful-avoidant due to really bad experiences in the past with the girls I got involved with. I screwed one up recently with a girl who I actually didn't have any problems with, but because things were going so fast and felt pressured, I pushed her away to the point where I encouraged her to meet someone else. Things didn't really go past the friend with benefits stage but we spent a lot of time together and seemed as though we were exclusive. Now that she's moved onto someone else, I'm now regretting it terribly and feel like I
  5. Well done man. Now meet up, have fun and hook up. You'll be able to judge from there where you're at with her. If she's still insisting on playing games, then walk away and continue letting her come to you. But don't chase. Good luck.
  6. Fortunately for him. It's not you he's having issues with ;-)
  7. Keep it short and sweet: "Hey, nice to hear from you. Would like to see you. When are you free for us to get together?" If she makes excuses. Keep the conversation short and tell her you got to run and to contact you once she figures out her schedule. Ask her again one last time when she initiates again and thats it. Then let her suggest a meet up from that point forwards. Don't be her texting buddy or her source of free attention/validation.
  8. Careerchoice is spot on. In dating and mating. It's the tension and the "on-off" dynamic that keeps women interested. The whole "2 steps forward, 1 step back" analogy is true here. The most difficult phase that I've found at the start of courtship is the point at which sex could happen. Because this is the point where the tension could potentially break. To play it safe, it's always best to err on the side of caution by not going for it straight away, regardless of how many positive signs she gives you. Because there's always the chance that the girl could put on the breaks, break tensio
  9. We're talking about flirting and sex here, not going on dates. No one disagrees with you. You should absolutely go on dates and get to know each other. This isn't disputed. However, if a girl is clearly flirting with you, making out, inviting you back to hers and into her bed. Then surely it means she wants sex does it not?? I think life would be so much better and easier if women admit that they like and want sex just as much as men do.
  10. The big mistake you did was in the handling of her statement of "Being a Lady" directly. She knew sex was on the cards and basically said that to curb any responsibility on her part that it was happening in order to not think of herself as a s**t. Girls will commonly say things like "We're not having sex tonight" prior to things happening. It's happened to me very often and eventually learned that what they say doesn't matter. If you said something like this: "I'm no gentleman" (Cheeky Grin) Then proceeded to escalate smoothly and go for it, It would have worked out a lot better
  11. Sorry to break it to you OP. But re-attracting your ex won't be enough. The real issue here is her character. She decided to end things with you rather than try to work things out. As long as she stays the same and doesn't change, she will eventually break up with you again and leave you feeling worse than how you're feeling now. A relationship isn't a one way thing and takes two people. So my advice is to find someone who isn't entitled and quick to split the minute the honeymoon period ends. Focus on you by bettering yourself and don't try to get her back. Leave it be and move on.
  12. I’m probably wasting time writing this because you most likely won’t understand me anyway and will take from it what you want to hear. Here’s the thing Stephanie. I make mistakes like everyone else and say and do things that I later regret. Im not perfect. Despite this, I apologised to you, took on board your reasons for doing what you did and tried to fix things between us because I thought what we had together meant something to you. You knew and understood my situation and what I was going through at the time. It wasn’t too late to turn things around. I was ready for it. But you didn’t s
  13. I have to agree with everyone's responses. Look at a person's actions instead of their words. Is he willing to leave his current girlfriend in order to get back with you? If he isn't, then he isn't serious and is simply saying all of this to keep you on the hook. The same thing happened to me when my ex-gf tried keeping me as a friend whilst subtly luring me in by saying things that gave me hope. In the end, I had to tell her to stop contacting me unless she had an interest in getting back together like I did. Long story short, she didn't and decided to continue pursuing her new trouble
  14. I'm sorry OP, But this is BS advice. Why would you want to get back together with someone who clearly left you for someone else? Let's look at things in context here. She left you for someone else, expecting it to work, while leaving you in the dust and not caring about your feelings. She comes back, realising that she couldn't do better. A girl like that may come back to you, but deep down. She will never respect you for it. Because she knows that she's only with you because of that very reason and you'll be seen as second class because you accepted it. Ego may be considered bad,
  15. No offence. But if she was so amazing, she would not have left you and would have seen the good qualities in you. I think this is more to do with a self-esteem issue than the actual girl. Chances are, she's just every other girl and it feels like she's special because you've managed to build herself up in your mind and put her high up on a pedestal. The solution isn't to start dating, but to start introspecting and looking deep inside yourself. Perhaps looking at alternative treatments. Go on long travel trips, meditate, do selfless acts by helping people for the sake of helping people. T
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