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KMO7970

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  1. The thing is, he said he likes how things are with you now, and that he doesn't feel any pressure. I'm thinking this means he won't be changing any time soon. It's not necessarily "impossible" but don't hold your breath, or you may find that a lot of time has passed and you and he haven't progressed. Look out for yourself first and foremost! If you aren't happy with the arrangement, you will start to build resentment.
  2. This has been beaten into the ground already, but staying far away from the person on social media is also important for maintaining NC. I don't have Facebook or Instagram or Snapchat or any of that already, but it dawned on me the other day that my ex is my friend on Yelp. When I saw that he had bookmarked some places in a city 4 hours away from him since we broke up, my mind immediately told me he was going there to visit some new girl (some girl he will be "allowed" to marry) and it half crushed me. Yelp! This is ridiculous. Needless to say, I removed him as a friend there. I don't need my mind making up stories and then keeping me up at night because of them. No. Social. Media.
  3. I'm on day 15. It's been a rough week. I have realized this, though: I am mourning the loss of our friendship MUCH more than I am mourning the loss of our more-than-friendship. We were friends for much longer, anyway. He told me shortly after the breakup that he does want for us to be friends again, but that we need time to heal from this before starting fresh. He hasn't reached out at all so I am not reaching out anymore, either. He knows how to get ahold of me and can talk to me if he wants. I just keep pushing forward.
  4. When did you send it? Obviously email gets sent to someone almost instantaneously, but if it has only been a few hours, or even days, he may still respond. I wouldn't hold my breath, though, you know? Also, what would your ideal response from him look like? So often with reaching out like this, there is NO response that would ever satisfy us.
  5. This is such a great feeling! Congrats to you for getting to this point. It can feel impossible in the early days or weeks.
  6. This is great! Have you ever done "DADGAD" tuning?
  7. I've had more breakups and more NC periods than I'd like to admit, but my most recent NC break, 8 days after the breakup, was underwhelming and not at all worth it. I asked him how he was doing. Twenty four hours later, he told me he was doing okay, apologized for the delayed response (uh huh) because he was busy at work, and asked how I was. I just said I was ok and that was the end of it. It was stupid. Set me back a bit, also.
  8. You can contribute as little as 1% and it's pre-tax, so you will be taxed on your gross salary minus your contribution. If your company matches the percentage you put in, that is, as MustLoveDogs said, free money.
  9. Keep doing what you're doing! As vesper said, no need to tell him anything. This is for you, not him. If he's curious enough about you down the line, he will reach out to you.
  10. Here's one way to look at this, Shadowbite, and this is what happened to me as well. You've done it, you regret it, and this will likely keep you from reaching out again. It will probably be much easier to maintain NC from this point on. I know how much this sucks, and how tiresome "lessons learned" can be (when can we all graduate and reap the benefits of our lessons, already?!) but watch yourself become stronger from this incident.
  11. People break NC early. I just broke mine only 8 days in. I was disappointed in myself, also, but I doubt anyone here is disappointed in you. I'm not, either. It's hard, but you've just gotta get back on the wagon. Best of luck! You can do this!
  12. OP here again, just having a difficult moment. I'm 8 days into NC, which feels good. I don't think about him constantly anymore, which is also good, and I'm impressed with my level of healing less than 2 weeks after the breakup. Sometimes it's just hard, though, when I think about how good of friends we were. He and I both agree that we need a break before attempting to start over as friends, but I wonder if the break is more for me or for him. I know some of you have written that I was used, etc, but I really don't believe I was. Still, it hurts that I wasn't fought for, you know? Then again, I guess the right guy is one who WOULD fight for me.
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