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[FreeStater]

You lied about everything. You lied by omission when you started having feelings for him and not being responsible enough to let me know and end things with me before you followed those feelings. You lied when I first began to get suspicious and you acted innocent. You lied about what you were doing when you stayed out late every night. You lied when I discovered that you were in constant contact with him and then deflected it by blaming me for snooping. You lied when you said you wanted to go to marriage counseling because of your vows. You lied when I suspected that it was just to buy more time before I left so that you could have everything ready before you kicked me out. You lied about him being at your graduation. You lied when you said that wasn't him waiting outside in a car when you came home on the final night. You lied when you said you weren't mad at me. You were furious and spiteful and mean spirited and you finally let it out on our last argument. The mask finally came off when you let the hate shine through in your eyes and when you told me you wanted to hit me as you gritted your teeth and clenched your fists.

 

I didn't know you had it in you to cruelly and maliciously manipulate and lie to me and gaslight me. Neither having the decency to not screw him while I still shared a bed with you nor the compassion to just tell me so I could stop doubting my sanity. You made no attempt to hide that you were having an affair and forced me to believe the evidence or believe you.

 

I just want to forgive you. I know that people do what you did all the time. I know it's part of human nature. I know that carrying resentment and anger towards you only hurts me. I'm trying. I think I can do it.

[healingishard]

i have to admit that ive never been this tore up over someone. i dont know what that means. i guess when i used to date, i'd just get into another relationship and so i never really had to deal with the loss...or maybe i just loved him too much. either way im sick of this emptiness and im tired of hoping he will come back to me and being so depressed over how much i still love him. i dont understand why- even when im busy and not thinking about him, hes still in the background of my mind.

[healingloner]

X,

 

you are nothing.

 

Bye.

[3Tears]

The more days pass by without know anything of you the more I miss you, and the more you're on my mind... I wish I would have done NC since the beginning I would probably be in a better place by now, I miss you so much.

[RoseHeart]

I cannot believe I fell for your lies. You said you wanted someone who can make you a better person. You walked away. I expressed to you my biggest fear and you just abandoned me completely. I trusted you. I hope someday you feel how I'm feeling and will realize then how much it hurts to have someone physically hurt you and emotionally rip you up. I'll NEVER be with you again and I'll never kiss you or hold you like I used to. I'll never even look into your eyes because you're not even worth that. You disrespected me and degraded me as a human being. You'll never be a better person. No use in looking for someone who can do that because it's a lost cause. Your soul is too sick and wicked to ever be changed. I hope the next girl walks away sooner and doesn't have to go through what I did.

[3Tears]

You've been on my mind the entire day, I can't text you... you told me not to and I respect that, I just can't seem to get you out of my head...

[abrandnewman]

I want to message you, I know that I shouldn't so I write words you can't see. I miss you beyond compare, I'm sorry for my actions I know that we'd be together still, so I blame only myself.

I have to miss you and carry the guilt and regret of ruining a beautiful love.

Take care my one!

[janut1]

Dear X,

 

I didn't cry as much today. I'm trying my best to keep busy and think about me, and what I want now. I still miss you everyday and think about you a lot. I really miss holding your hand because it always felt so warm and comforting to me. I'm not sure why I focus on that day after day, but I have a hard time when I see couples holding hands because it brings me back to when you held mine. Okay, now I, crying. I miss your Good Morning text and Good night texts. I always knew I was on your mind when you did that and it was a nice feeling to know that someone cared about my day. Now when my phone alerts me to a text, I get scared that it will be you, because I know I can't go back to the hot/cold relationship we had at the end. It hurts too much to feel loved, then not loved. Its confusing and heartbreaking.

 

Every day I wonder how you are, what you are doing and who with. But then I have to stop myself because that doesn't help me. If you found someone else this soon, then man you move on quickly. I cannot even think about meeting someone new. It feels wrong still. I hope one day it will feel different, but Im okay with this feeling right now. I'm not in a hurry to get involved with anyone right now. I need to heal.

 

I am so sad that I don't get to go on our trip in a couple of weeks and the baseball game for my birthday won't happen now either. I really loved being with you when times were good. We had a blast, laughing and enjoying movies, eating out and just doing nothing. We could talk for hours about stuff. But now, its all gone. I lost my best friend and my lover. It feels like my heart is aching and I will never recover.

 

J

[3Tears]

Laying down in my bed just browsing through eNA and I still can't get you out of my head, you're constantly on it... I'm pretty sure you're moving on with your live just fine and I bet you're enjoying this honeymoon stage with the new guy, I still don't hate you even after you simply replaced me like I never meant anything to you in these past 2 years, we went through so much for nothing, I went through so much for you for nothing and you will NEVER see that...

[spazmy]

I wish you could have been clearer. I do realize I was angry with you. But you made me sad all the time. No contact most of the time in an LDR. how was one to even hold on to a relationship when a person would not give whole-heartedly. Although, I contributed to it by sticking on. I wish we had broken up a year ago. That would have ended everything and we would have not had to go through this whole wringer. So sad. Realizing one year too late that what began a year ago was not worth it.

[spazmy]

Also, I forgive you for whatever it was. And hope you will forgive me as well. I wish you all the best. I am grateful for what you brought into the relationship. I do want you to be happy. Because if you are unhappy, I will be wracked by pain and guilt.

[IAmFCA]

Hot man, I am over you like a bad cold. Its been ages, and now even when I try to find something with which to distract myself, you are not it. I am not even sure I would notice you if we crossed paths. Your hotness has become like white sugar. Looks tempting but don't want it.

 

Bad man, memory of you improves with time. I am glad for you. Isn't it funny how we were so unhealthy, and so well suited. There is not a thing about you that scares me, nor that ever did, nor am I the slightest bit concerned about you. If you were the unknown man coming to my door of late, stopped by security each time, and you weren't, but if you were, it wouldn't have concerned me in the least. And yet you are the most potentially harmful man I have ever fallen for, and you are as gentle as a lamb. I remain feeling safe in your cosmic embrace and I am glad for it. You would pummel anyone who harmed me, which is sexy, I admit, if a little... I don't know, rough. Would you do it today? No, because your wife wouldn't let you. But if I really needed you, I would message you on fb and you would find a way to be helpful. I am taking from your presence a strength I never found before, and using it to shore myself up. Somehow, you make my world safer. I don't know why, but I know it, now, today. Thank you.

 

Sniper man. You are not an ex. I took sex from you. You mark the beginning of my badness, and Hot Man, you mark the end of it.

 

I am whole, now. I am grateful to all of you for being the axslkh$% you were, so that I would not choose any of you by mistake. And I am grateful that none of you hurt me, not really, when you could have hurt me substantively, economically, physically. I was truly naked with each of you, illogically so. Thank you for marking my journey and letting me pass through with only the emotional scars that I invited upon myself.

 

Pshhhh: Rear View.

 

And now my windshield is freaking sunshine.

 

 

[3Tears]

Its been 6 days since we last talked and today feels the worst, I've never felt such heartache in my life... I sometimes wonder how you're doing then I remember that you're fine, you told me yourself... plus you have your new bf that you're so into...

 

I hate this so bad, I wish to disappear, I feel so overwhelmed

[fjmslm]

i miss you and i love you

 

you were never going to leave them were you?

[kz91]

Now that I'm over you, I can't believe how many tears I wasted on you. You were a massive waste of time and I regret ever loving you.

[3Tears]

Yesterday night was the worst, spent most of the night crying for you and you will never see this... you always thought you meant nothing to me and that I took you for granted, I hate all of this, I just wish to disappear.

[janut1]

i got my new bike today and rode it around the block. I am doing what I can to move on, including exercise, which you know Im not excited about. Today is day 6, almost a week since you texted me and told me to find someone else that will make me happy. It has been a very long week, each day I do whatever I can to not think about you, but you are still on my mind a lot.

 

I've been trying to think about the not so great things in our relationship, which helps. I know I wanted to break up with you many times because of things that bothered me. I tried to talk to you about them and work through them instead of giving up though because I thought we were worth it. Now that you have let me go for the 4th time, maybe it's meant to be that Im not with you. Not sure yet. I feel like its so hard some days and then not so hard on others. I have hope for the future, but then again, I am in my 50's and meeting someone this late in life is really hard. Uggh...

[fjmslm]

You never believed I loved you enough, I was protecting myself.

Turns out I was right I did need to protect myself because ultimately you weren't going to be there for me. But yet I still miss you and love you.

[dasnico]

I miss you so much. I made such a mistake leaving you. I was in such a bad place at the time. I'm sorry I ever doubted what we had going. I think about you all day every day. It kills me not to contact you - although I know it's for the best. When you emailed me to tell me you missed me, it killed me. I check my phone out of habit to see if you've emailed or texted me. It's so unhealthy, but I would take you back so fast if you let me. So fast.

 

I love you and miss you so much.

[fjmslm]

How do you cope with no contact, I can't believe you haven't emailed once, it was always you contacting me. I can't stop checking and hoping.

I can't stop myself wondering what you are doing, are you at the boat?

Does it hurt you as much as it hurts me?

[3Tears]

I miss you so much and everyday that passes by without knowing of you hurts so badly. I can't believe we went from talking everyday to nothing at all, like we never even knew each other.

[healingishard]

some days are much easier than others. today is not one of the easier days. i want to talk to you, ask how ur doing. us share that we miss each other, you forgive my stupidity and i'd forgive u for all the pain ive felt over the past two months. we'd try again and it would be different. but i know that cant happen...no matter how many stars i wish on. we were friends. why would you sacrifice that for an ending in hate? why did we let this happen? i didnt want this...i would have never risked losing you from my life forever had i known you would walk away. why did you give up? we could have been amazing, we would have been. i miss you.

[louberr27]

I dont want you back, and I dont miss you. But I cannot stand the fact that you are happy in a relationship with her. Not because I want you; why would I? You're a liar, a cheat, commitment phobe and emotional f**kwit. But because I want you to feel the same pain that I have felt. I want you to feel unhappiness and loneliness. Why should you be allowed to smile and laugh and love after the way you treated me? Why do I have to be the one who experiences all of these miserable emotions and you get away scott-free? I thought I believed in karma, but it hasnt come around to get you. I wish you were hurting the way that you hurt me. You deserve to feel some of that pain. You cant just treat people like dirt and get away with it. Thats what bugs me more than anything. You played me for a fool, treated me worse than a dog, and you got away with it.

[healingloner]

I had the urge of checking your facebook and other social media today. But I am not going to. I know that never did any good to my life. I have finally found my calling. And also cooked an amazing meal for myself. This week is a special day. Last year on this day I left for another city and now I am so happy about it. You know the children I teach are amazing. They fill up my world. Well, I am very happy the way my life is shaping up now. Next month starting a new course. I have moved on.

[3Tears]

I can't believe you're gone....