Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[soybeans]

Didn't think I had it in me to still break down crying over you. 'Left & Leaving' by the Weakerthans came on shuffle on my ipod tonight. I should have skipped it.

[sunshineband]

So last night was when we had planned to go to the gig in Camden together. It was going to be great driving down to London together. You would have loved it, the place and everything. It was fab. The singer I like was awesome beyond words, and it was such an adventure.

 

And what did you do while I was out seizing the day (or night) ... you went online drunk and begged to be humiliated and blackmailed. I don't know whether it was a significant day for you too and made you lose the plot a bit, but it makes me feel both incredibly relieved that I'm out of that situation and also incredibly sad that you feel you have to do that.

[spaced1]

Wish I'd seen this thread earlier.....

[Sukiyaki]

Why are you ignoring me? Please talk to me? I miss you and everything we use to do.. life is so weird without you and as I sit here trying to hold back tears (because I promised myself I wouldn't) I keep thinking that maybe if we talked everything would be back to the way it was. But what good is it if you don't want to talk to me....You're hurting me by not saying anything... But I know that trying to talk to you would hurt me worse...

[soybeans]

It makes sense to me now. I've been reading up on sociopaths, their traits, behavior, etc. You fit the bill, sweetheart. Honestly the more I read, the more I can literally feel myself snapping out of it. I have been distressed, searching for answers that you never gave me...trying to understand WHY you did what you did, only to come up with confusion frustration and hurt. I feel so much different now about everything. There is no doubt in my mind that this is you...

 

You actually told me the first time I found out about the online dating site that you do not have a conscience. You spoke these words in front of me. It has been baffling to me ever since...I just couldn't understand how it was possible. Well now I do.

 

I realize that I was just another victim to you...you used me, had your fun preying on me and fooling me into believing your lies, then when you were done you just slipped away because it was convenient for you. The scary part is that you won't change- sociopaths don't just change, they don't see a problem with the way they are. These are things I have been saying for the past five months and to see it actually spelled out for me has given me so much clarity.

 

Now I know. And even if you aren't clinically diagnosed as a sociopath, I will continue to view you as such. Whatever helps ME at this point, I'll take it. You are truly a sick human being and I hope that my views on you will stay this way from now on. I hope I can see you for who you truly are now instead of thinking somehow that you loved me, or have this sense of empathy for you in some way. You are incapable of loving anyone but yourself!

[Stoof]

Today, 5 years from we first met, I only remember the good and miss you more than ever.

[Doc Blaze]

I dont get you, why do you have to be so negative about life. why are you scared of things. why are you scared to let yourself be exposed.Not everyone is perfect, your not perfect, its ok to make mistakes. It happens all the time.

[Springs]

I'm in pain. I mean I really feel like my heart has been broken down so much it's barely beating anymore. That's how I feel. It's been so long and I am so worn out with this. What the hell is wrong with me?? There must be something seriously wrong for me to still feel so much intense pain because of you. I am exhausted. I am so so tired of always feeling pathetic, always wanting more, always being built up to be spat on over and over again. And I never learn. Why couldn't you just leave me alone. You saw me making plans and being happy. Moving on. Then you come right back in again, look in my eyes and make me feel so loved only to say 'what's the point'.. I honestly wish I'd never met you. The amount of pain you have caused me is insane. I hate myself. I just want to disappear.

[Taven]

I love you, plain and simple.

[sunshineband]

Hello, I'm here because I've been so close to texting or phoning you today. I walked out of work today, thinking about seeing you before I realised that actually I wouldn't be seeing you. Then I remembered what a dark picture I've managed to paint in my head about you to help me try and get over this, and that made me feel sad that I was forgetting about all the good times we had together. And we did have some fantastic times, and I don't want to forget them.

 

Can I separate the good times I had with your nice side and hold onto them versus the crapness about the way your dark side treated me? Maybe that would do it? But then when I remember the good times, I feel so sad. In the words of the song I heard on Wednesday "We could have made it, but now we're nothing at all." ALl those good times gone to waste. Why wasn't I good enough for you?? I gave everything I could to building a strong relationship and you pretended to but then went online and paid for thrills. Bit of a big difference there mate, isn't there?

 

Sometime I will be able to look back at my memories with a different response than tears. But not yet. I'm not there yet. I wish you could see the consequence of your actions.

[Sukiyaki]

Why are you hurting me? You said you cared for me, but you're hurting me. Everyday I wonder if you're thinking about me as much as I think about you, I just miss your hugs and your voice..it's so hard to let go but I'm trying really hard...

[lilypadgirl]

I wonder if you realize how relevant the facebook posts you put up today are not just for business, but also for relationships. You urge for optimism/determination/belief, communication/honesty/forthrightness, struggle/hard work/commitment for your start up and in interacting with your team and investors. Do you not think relationships need them too, that your lovers deserve even more? Based on your baby post, maybe you do recognize them and it's me that has to continue to remind myself that at the end of the day, actions and revealed priorities/choices speak the loudest. Sigh.

[sunshineband]

Hey you. Saturday night, 4 weeks since we split, 3 week since we last talked. I'm sitting at home still trying to make sense of it all and you're sitting at home on online dating sites and talking to dommes on Yahoo chat.

 

I just need to have less pain really, I just need to be able to think about you without wanting to cry, I just need to feel like there is some hope for me without you. I miss you, I really miss you specifically still, your bantery flirty texts, your warm smile, the connection between us. Which is why I could not go back on the online dating stuff at the moment. Much as I'd enjoy the attention (always ssuming I get any!), I would always be comparing people with you and how things went with you. Which I don't think is fair. So for now I'll stay away.

 

Tonight I'm just mainly feeling sad. I need to sleep well tonight. I hope I do.

[Sukiyaki]

Hey, I had a wonderful interview today Are you proud of me?

[soybeans]

I miss the intimacy...

[einsteins_girl]

5 months. It's been 5 months. That is so long. I miss you. I miss your voice. I miss your hands. I miss your face, especially those dimples. I miss the way you made me feel safe in your arms. I miss falling asleep holding your hand. I miss you so much.

 

I'm sorry.

[blueberrypie]

20 months after the breakup.

I still miss you. It doesn't hurt like it did right after the breakup. I even sometimes feel happy without you. But I still feel the ache if I go to the dances. That's why I stopped going. Not because what we did together didn't mean much to me as you suggested, but because it means too much for me. And honestly, as much as I want to see you, I am afraid of running into you if I go to those events we used to go together. Although I wish you to be happy, I am afraid that seeing you happy without me will break my heart all over again.

But honestly, I would do anything to get you back... Still.....

[lilypadgirl]

I miss you. I hate that I miss you. I wish so much we could go back in time to our first relationship before all the deception and all the pain. I hate that this is the way we end. I wish so much I can trust you and that you knew how to rebuild my trust and I hate that I can't and you don't.

[Staples 29]

I miss you. I hate that I miss you. I thought these things were supposed to get better in time.

 

Worse is how you are going on like I didn't even happen. Part of me thinks you don't care anymore but babe we both know you couldn't have faked half the things you did so somehow I know it's hard on you. I caved in and spied on your FB page yesterday and it's all about the girls but you haven't referred to me at all which has brought me to the stupid conclusion that you in fact care and miss me. Otherwise we both know how you'd have a stinging status updates about unwanted people calling (I always told you it wasn't nice to do that).

 

The hard bit was seeing that you celebrated your birthday with your family - that was the cause of everything in the first place; well sort of. So I feel like I failed that test that morning and I'm sorry. I know you said to give it time before we talk but you haven't returned my call from yesterday so I don't know how much time to give it. I am trying to live though. I finally applied for that volunteering job you encouraged me to - I want to tell you about it so badly. I keep expecting you to call me or whatsapp me.

 

Funny thing is I know at the end of the day this is for the best - I just don't want to lose you completely.

[Springs]

I'm beginning to think I'm deep down some sort of sadist for repeatedly inflicting pain on myself over and over again. I'm sick of you and your constant let downs, never giving me a straight answer, avoiding my calls and then pretending you were busy. We both know you have a * * * * social life so don't lie to me. I am just so angry right now. And so hurt. Why did I have to fall so hard for you and continue to rub salt in a wound that is so deep I wonder if it will ever heal.. I don't know what to do anymore.

[MasterPo]

Wow.. it's been awhile since ... okay who am I kidding, I miss you. I mean there is nothing to miss about you, you bailed and blew the bridge behind you. Silly me, I've been picking up scrap lumber and putting that damn bridge up. Since I finish what I start I finished and sit like an idiot waiting for you to discover it and walk over to my side.

 

Other women in my life, there have been a few and they were nice but were more than eager to pack explosives and blow it in your face. I wouldn't let them and so they went. Now I'm in a weird place. I miss you but I know you can't or won't ever come back. So what do I do? Walk away and never look back or trust to a higher authority to take from here. Goddamn I got it bad.

 

I am gonna fix the truck even though I don't want to. I will drive out to the desert and maybe the thought of you in those places will ease my pain. I am tired of running and you should see my abs, LL Cool J is gonna freak out, so even exercise doesn't EXORCISE you. Ugh. Gotta bleat it out otherwise I'm gonna let fester in me and I can't have you inside me anymore. Get from heah..

 

Ugh..

[Zohariel]

Well, I'm home now. Such a strange feeling that we're in the same city in completely different circumstances.

[einsteins_girl]

It's silly, but you know what still makes me the angriest about our last conversation? When you said I "didn't seem into you anymore." I mean... seriously? Seriously!?!

 

I'm still into you five months after the BU, and you were questioning whether I was then??? Did you know me at all?!?

[northpickle]

I've seen some pictures online that show you were stood about 10-20 feet behind me, my daughter and my boyfriend at a public event today. I didn't see you there, did you see us? Looks like the girl you got with just after we broke up wasn't there, are you still with her?

 

I don't know, I think because yesterday was our "getting together" anniversary day (I only realised that a few hours ago) and finding out you were so close to me, despite not having seen you since October, it's a little freaky! Well, we had an ace time! And it's weird seeing a picture of you, even though you're in the background, you still have that focused look on your face, your hand in your pocket and dressed in my favourite colour.

 

I hope you're happy, and I mean that absolutely sincerely, because it's been over 6 months since we've been in touch and I stick to my words, I will never contact you again. I just find it a tad weird that I was having a whooping good time enjoying my new life after you, when you were so close physically to it, and I had no idea.

 

Peace x

[sunshineband]

Have you seen the fixture list? Oh the irony!! Sheffield Wednesday at home to Leicester on Saturday 24th November. So we could have celebrated our one year anniversary a couple of days early ... by watching my team beat yours of course lol!!