Had to put my beautiful kitty down today...

[browneyedgirl36]

Hi Everyone....

 

I posted quite some time ago about my cat, who was diagnosed with cancer last year. Very recently, it became clear that the chemo treatments that had been keeping her stable and in reasonably good health and happiness were no longer doing her any good, and today, regretfully, I had to say goodbye to her. She was 15, and even though she had gotten quite thin in the last month and had clearly lost some of her "spark," she was a beautiful and loving kitty until the very end. I truly believe that she was ready to go; in the last week, I began to feel very strongly that it was time. It was a tough decision, and I know I have many painful days ahead, and a lot of grieving to do, but I am SO grateful that I had her in my life for nearly 18 months after her initial diagnosis and that I had ample time to accept her inevitable passing and say goodbye.

 

In the end, it was all I hoped it would be. My favorite vet tech was there, as well as another tech who I really liked who had worked with my kitty on occasion. One of my best friends took off work early to accompany me. I had kitty's favorite blanket/bed there. Her doctor and both techs assured me I was making the right decision, and they praised me for being such a great "mom" to my kitty and for doing everything I could for her. I told her I loved her and what a wonderful pet she had always been. I chose to be there for the whole thing, and it was quick, painless, and peaceful for my beloved kitty. I got hugs from the doctor and the tech, and got to spend some time in the room with her after she passed just to say my final goodbyes. My friend was there to hold me while I cried. I got texts and e-mails from some dear friends saying they were thinking of me.

 

I am very sad, and I know I have some days coming up that will be nearly unbearable, but I KNOW in my heart that I did everything I could for her, and that I made this decision at exactly the right time. I am so happy to know that I was the last thing my beloved pet saw and felt before she passed. I could not have asked for a better end for her.

 

Thanks to those of you who, over the last year, have commented on my posts about my cat and have offered their support. When I am ready, I will definitely have another cat. The love of a pet is so pure and unconditional. I have learned so much about love from my kitty, and I am so lucky to have had her in my life.

 

Thanks for reading, everyone,

[RideOn]

I know exactly how you are feeling. I had to put my cat to sleep in June. Yes, it's going to be very sad for you, however that cat had a wonderful owner in you. You did everything imaginable for her and I'm sure she appreciated it. You gave her 15 terrific years of unconditional love.

 

Just remember all of the numersous wonderful memories you shared with her. She is no longer in any pain now. It's such a difficult decision but you did what's best for her. She will always remain with you in spirit. When I get sad about the passing of my four pets this year I think of all the special times we shared. Then I get such a huge smile on my face.

 

I'm so deeply sorry for your lost.

[BlackGoaty]

Sorry to hear about your loss. You have done your best and given her the best of her best times throughout her 15 years.

[HeartGoesOn]

I'm so sorry to hear that. It's so heartbreaking to lose a pet.

 

My thoughts are with you...Hugsssss

[renaissancewoman101]

I'm sorry to hear about your kitty.

 

But you did the right thing. It was her time.

 

About a month ago, I had to put one of my guinea pigs to sleep. That was hard, esp since she was one of my favorite ones and she was only 2 years old. But she was suffering.

 

Hope you feel better soon.

[browneyedgirl36]

I know exactly how you are feeling. I had to put my cat to sleep in June. Yes, it's going to be very sad for you, however that cat had a wonderful owner in you. You did everything imaginable for her and I'm sure she appreciated it. You gave her 15 terrific years of unconditional love.

 

Just remember all of the numersous wonderful memories you shared with her. She is no longer in any pain now. It's such a difficult decision but you did what's best for her. She will always remain with you in spirit. When I get sad about the passing of my four pets this year I think of all the special times we shared. Then I get such a huge smile on my face.

 

I'm so deeply sorry for your lost.

 

Thanks so much! I am so sorry to hear that you lost several pets in such a short period of time. It is so hard, but the amount of joy they bring to our lives balances out the pain -- I truly believe that. It is SO worth it to have a pet. I will definitely have another cat (or two!) at some point in the near future. I can't imagine NOT having them.

 

You are right about remembering good times, and there were SO many of them. I know they will bring a smile to my face and that they will comfort me in difficult times.

 

Thanks so much for your kind thoughts.

[MD Geist]

its not an easy thing to deal with when you put an animal of anytype down.

 

I've been there before and I know how that feels.

 

She's off to a better place. I'm sorry about your loss.

[browneyedgirl36]

I'm sorry to hear about your kitty.

 

But you did the right thing. It was her time.

 

About a month ago, I had to put one of my guinea pigs to sleep. That was hard, esp since she was one of my favorite ones and she was only 2 years old. But she was suffering.

 

Hope you feel better soon.

 

Thank you, Ren. I remember your guinea pig, and I know how much you loved her. I also know that you were a good "mom" to her.

 

Loving a pet is such a double-edged sword, in a sense. They bring us SO much joy while they live, but losing them is SO painful. Still, I think that the joy far outweighs the pain. As I said in my original post. I have learned so many things about love from my kitty.

 

Thanks for your thoughts. They really help!

[hers]

I'm so sorry to hear that, BEG. I can't imagine how hard it is. You sound so strong. I hope your kitty is still happy wherever she is.

 

I'm going through a lot of health problems with my dog Leeluu and I can't stop thinking about "what if this is it?" She turns 7 next week. She's so young. I can't stop thinking that this is the end for her b/c she's so sick. I'm just trying to love her as much as I can.

 

I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope you heal well.

[SimplySmashing]

oh goodness...i'm so sorry. I love animals and it breaks my heart that my living situation won't allow me to have any but I'm sure that your cats life was filled with hapiness as it sounds like you loved her very much.

[waveseer]

My cat died last year, and I know how it feels to lose your sweet kitty. My heart goes out to you. I like to think that my cat is chasing little furry spirit mice somewhere and is totally happy.

[Miss Firecracker]

So sorry you lost a good buddy. What a good, long life though! You did a good job.

[Jd1983]

I'm sorry for your loss.. it must be so difficult for you.

[browneyedgirl36]

Thank you everyone for your kind replies. It means a lot to me.

 

I spent the evening with a friend (the same friend who went to the vet with me). Now I am home, and it is hard. I know it will hit me hard over the next few weeks as I put her toys away, throw away her litter box, put her carrier and other things down in my basement, throw away her food, etc. I may not be able to do those things right now.

 

I know I will wake up tomorrow having forgotten that she is gone, and I know that, for a few seconds, I will expect to see her, and then I will remember that she is no longer with me. She was such a lovely kitty.

 

Thank you again all for your kind words. They definitely help to ease the burden.

[Lonewing]

36;3682078]Thank you everyone for your kind replies. It means a lot to me.

 

I spent the evening with a friend (the same friend who went to the vet with me). Now I am home, and it is hard. I know it will hit me hard over the next few weeks as I put her toys away, throw away her litter box, put her carrier and other things down in my basement, throw away her food, etc. I may not be able to do those things right now.

 

I know I will wake up tomorrow having forgotten that she is gone, and I know that, for a few seconds, I will expect to see her, and then I will remember that she is no longer with me. She was such a lovely kitty.

 

Thank you again all for your kind words. They definitely help to ease the burden.

 

 

She may be gone, but there are so many left here with us living who are without your care. Why are you throwing everything away??

 

There have been so many pets in my life, and many that I have cherished memories of, so many of them. Growing up, dying animals simply became a part of my life, and I got used to being the Undertaker by the time I was ten or so.

 

I still miss my old tabby cat, she was the sweetest soul I have ever known. She had this delicate way of massaging your back that was gentle, and she knew not to use her claws. I used to growl when she did, and then she learned.

 

I still remember finding her a cold snowy day many years ago, and wondering who's cat she was. I took her to a neighbors, where I discovered she wasnt theirs. In short, she was an abandonment; I lived at the end of a mile dirt track, in a small forty acre subdivision, and somone had just taken her out there and dumped her. But from one sorrow comes a joy, for then she was in my life for ten years.

 

But she grew old and her time came; she passed away while I was away at college, one winter day; my dad at least wrapped her up in a towel and put her in the bathroom where the heater was warmest. Even thoguh, she had a faraway look to her - like she missed someone. I felt she missed me when I was away.

 

She is gone now, and my life is with the living. And there are so many living here with us! My ex decided that for christmas the kids could get cats, and so we went. And I went and found two of the most adorable cats this last winter at the shelter with her - I picked them out in the first two seconds we were int he shelter. Out of the forty or so in there, these two were lively and very much interested in us. Many others were sleeping, brooding, or even growling with some of the most upset looks you could ever see on a soul. But these two came home with us.

 

I'm going to miss them too - but they will get on without an issue.

 

There is always time in your life for a new cat. The next one won't be the same as the last one, because every relationship is different based upon each individual personality - but in that difference there is beauty. One of the suggestions for getting over a breakup is to "get back on the horse" [i hate how crude that is]. Thoug this is a bit different, it's kind of the same. A new kitty, sometime soon, may lift you right back up. Mourn your loss, but your loss won't mind if you get a new companion!

[Ellie2006]

BEG, i am so sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved pet. I'm glad that you had a friend there with you to help you through this difficult time. ((HUGS)) Take care of yourself.

[annalisa84]

I'm so sorry you had to go through this.. I understand very well how you feel. Perhaps frame a little picture of you and the kitty, so when you miss her, you'll look at you and her having good times. She lived a long and loving life, I'm sure!

 

After a while, perhaps you'll feel upto it and you'll go to a shelter and give home to another homeless kitty.. I'm sure the old kitty would have wanted that, It helped me for sure.

 

Big big hugs!

[browneyedgirl36]

Thanks again, all. You have really provided me with comfort in this very difficult time.

 

I DO definitely plan to get another kitty, and the only reason I'm not doing it fairly soon is that I am going out of the country for three months in January, and I would have to find someone to take care of him/her/(them?) and it's a big burden to place on someone (even though I know my friends are wonderful and at least one of them would offer to). I would rather wait until I get back and can really spend a lot of time with the new kitty and bond with it. (I'd hate to have to leave it with someone in the middle of the bonding process).

 

I am feeling OK today, but I know I will have days when I won't. I have recently lost a close relative, too, and my relationship with my ex is hard on me -- there's a lot of love there (he admits he loves me as well) but a relationship just isn't in the cards at this point, so it feels like just another loss piled on top of losses. I am bracing myself for when this all hits me really, really hard. I am hoping for the strength to deal with it. Fortunately, my friends and family are wonderful; with them in my life, the rocky parts are not so rocky.

 

Yes, there is another kitty in my future -- maybe even two! I am looking forward to that. I can't imagine my life without a cat.

 

Again, thanks everyone. You have all helped SO much.

[Lonewing]

It makes my heart glad to hear your optimism, though I shed a tear for that other part. I'm just on the beginning of being alone again, and it sucks.

 

But I got a really encouraging email today. Life is going to be better now.

[Lonewing]

In the city, the overpopulation of cats keeps down the populations of vermin such as rats and mice...and pigeons.

[d24]

i actually cried reading this

 

i'm not sure if it's because i too lost my cat recently, or because i know how hard it is, or because you can genuinely see how sad this has made you and how much you loved your kitty.

 

i'm so so sorry for your loss and so proud that you knew when it was time

 

Best wishes

[browneyedgirl36]

i actually cried reading this

 

i'm not sure if it's because i too lost my cat recently, or because i know how hard it is, or because you can genuinely see how sad this has made you and how much you loved your kitty.

 

i'm so so sorry for your loss and so proud that you knew when it was time

 

Best wishes

 

Thank you so much. It has been a hard couple of days, as I keep expecting to see her when I round a corner or when I open the front door. Today, I went out to my car to get something, and when I came back, I expected to see her face at the screen door, waiting for me. It was heart-wrenching when I realized she would not be there.

 

I am sorry that you lost a kitty recently too. They really are so special. I mourn my loss but I also know that it was totally worth it -- the love and companionship I had from her for so long was worth what I am feeling now. If I had to do it all again, I absolutely would. And I will, when the time is right.

[browneyedgirl36]

My cat died last year, and I know how it feels to lose your sweet kitty. My heart goes out to you. I like to think that my cat is chasing little furry spirit mice somewhere and is totally happy.

 

Me too. One of the last things I said to her was that now she could be free to chase the birds, and the squirrels, and the butterflies. And, I told her to look after all the other kitties that have passed, too.

[browneyedgirl36]

BEG, i am so sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved pet. I'm glad that you had a friend there with you to help you through this difficult time. ((HUGS)) Take care of yourself.

 

Thank you, Ellie. It was heartwrenching, but it was definitely time. There were people who thought I was crazy for spending a lot of money on chemo treatments, x-rays, etc. over the past year -- let's just say I'd have about twice as much savings right now if I hadn't -- but if I had to do it again, I would. The chemo kept her stable, fat, spunky, and happy (couldn't even tell she was sick until VERY recently) for over a year with few side effects. Ultimately, it just stopped being effective, and that was when she started to go downhill -- just in the last month or so.

 

People told me that I would know when it was time to let her go, and I did. It was very clear to me. I had known her for so long and was so in tune with her that there was no doubt in my mind.

 

This is all still very fresh, and I imagine that when it really sinks in I will have a few hysterical crying jags, but I have some ideas as to how to preserve my memories of her, and I plan to take time over the next few weeks and months to do that.

[browneyedgirl36]

I'm so sorry to hear that, BEG. I can't imagine how hard it is. You sound so strong. I hope your kitty is still happy wherever she is.

 

I'm going through a lot of health problems with my dog Leeluu and I can't stop thinking about "what if this is it?" She turns 7 next week. She's so young. I can't stop thinking that this is the end for her b/c she's so sick. I'm just trying to love her as much as I can.

 

I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope you heal well.

 

Thank you very much. Gosh, it was -- and is -- heartbreaking. As my kitty got older, I began to think about her inevitable passing, and every time I thought of it, I would cry and feel sad. When she was diagnosed with the cancer last year, I was a wreck. I was inconsolable. I couldn't imagine my life without her. I knew she was living on borrowed time, and this last year or so I have kept her close and let her know every day how much I loved her, even if it was to give her a little kiss on the head or give her her favorite canned food. I never expected her to live this long after her diagnosis -- and neither did her doctor. Most people would say it was pure luck, but...I'd like to think she stuck around just a little bit longer because she knew I needed her to. I am grateful to her for doing that. I had a lot more time with her than I ever anticipated I would, and that time was special.

 

I am sorry to hear about Leeluu. It sounds as if you are really taking good care of her. Just enjoy her every day and try not to worry about when the end of her life will come. Just be grateful for every day that you wake up and she IS there. I started doing that with my kitty, and it made the inevitable loss a little easier to bear. I'm sure Leeluu has some good years left. It's great that you've figured out what is ailing her and you're treating it. She's a happy dog -- I can see it in the pictures you post!