24 and never had a girlfriend

[wlfpack81]

wlfpack,

no one is going to out and kill themselves because they don't have a girlfriend, including YOU>>>>>what if just after you commit suicide there comes accross a girl who would be perfect for you

 

Life isn't a BS movie so it's not going to happen so what does it matter.

 

 

...but because you are dead you will never have her..and of course you are thinking..what if i never come accross that girl???>>> when that would really suck

 

See my above qoute, this holds on relavance b/c I'm going to be alone for ever. I've been shy since birth and if getting drunk can't help it then what can, plus I'm freaking ugly and can't afford plastic surgery so I'm stuck with this hideous god for dang saken face. Basically I've been b**** slapped by Jesus Christ himself and it shows and it sucks.

 

...but even so its not reason enough to kill yourself....life has meaning and purpose, even when it appears not to

 

And what does my life matter to you anyways. I mean my dying or living has on effect on you and you can live your life so why the hell worry over me. I'd be another insignificant death anyways. Won't even have some damn non-family female to cry over my dead body. Freaking sucks and I'm a damn failure as a freaking man.

[madhornet]

That's the part that I find the most difficult, in 3 months I'll be 28. I've been on 3 dates, all having met them on the internet. With 2 of them (after just 1 meet on both occasions) they said they were always busy so I took that as I sign to not bother with them. The 3rd actually lived in my city (a year ago today we first met up) and we both got on really well then a week and half later she suddenly is busy all the time and can't make this date or that date etc. So I gave up on that one too. I mean can't women just give you a straight answer? Clearly not. I still haven't had a girlfriend despite meeting this girl for 1 1/2 weeks we weren't going out I think she was just using me as a stop gap until she found what in her eyes was a better bloke (better looking, more experienced kisser etc. - I have no idea how to kiss at all) It doesn't help that I've seen her TWICE walking round with different boyfriends and seeing that arrogant smirk on her face every time she walks past me.

 

Perhaps what girls want is for us to indicate to them we have other things on in our lives and that they aren't in total control of when it is convenient for them to see us? If I learnt one thing from the week and a half I knew this girl mentioned above it was that I tried to contact her too much and she must have thought 'he's desperate' and knew she could make excuses about being busy all the time and I wouldn't question it or say I was busy too. I don't mean saying you're busy just for the sake of it but not falling over backwards to accommodate her. I hate the bizarre games that most girls seems to play, especially leaving you hanging and not just telling you to go away. I won't resort to using them myself because that's not who I am but I do not want to be used as a walking doormat again.

 

Richard - I would say concentrating on your studies and anything that can get you a good job when you finish is the most important thing right now. I finished my degree just over 6 years ago (now that does make me sound old!) and have got a good job where I'm gradually taking more exams (unfortunately they don't necessarily finish after Uni) and improving my salary/standing etc. I had a period during University where I tried to meet girls in the hope of finding a girlfriend and I got so wrapped up in that my studies and marks suffered quite badly, fortunately they didn't count towards my degree so it didn't matter but I wouldn't devote too much effort to it at Uni, you don't get endless shots at getting a good degree. I don't go for the 'find someone when you're not looking/happen when you least expect it' spiel that people who have boyfriends/girlfriends give us all the time (after all it's easy for them to find someone so they think it must be for us - when clearly it isn't at all) but by the time girls have reached the age they are at Uni some of them have matured and don't play the mind game bit any more - they are in the minority but there is always a chance.

 

I've got a load of studying to do myself from July til October so that'll at least take my mind of my single status for a while. It is useful to get insight from others who are in the same boat as me, you all sound really great guys and I hope everyone does find the nice girl they all deserve as soon as possible.

[Caldus]

And it gets even better...

 

I get online today and see that the girl is online on instant messenger. She has been online for two hours and is not idle. As soon as I sign on, she signs-off. I'm not so sure if this is a coincidence considering how she has been acting in the last few days. Why doesn't she just block me in that case then? I don't understand why she just can't flat out tell me that she's not interested rather than leaving me still hanging and wondering.

 

Something must've happened when I met her in person, so I have to figure out what it is and fix it. That is probably why I can't even make friends with girls worth anything. And see that's the thing, I'm actually taking things slow every time. I just want to get to know them and be friends first but they won't even do that part for me! They won't even give me a chance to get to know them and a chance for them to get to know me. I want to at least fix that part because it's even worse not having any good female friends to talk to!

[madhornet]

Caldus - I've had the same experience online myself, girls signing off just as I sign on. I do think on most occasions it's just down to coincidence as I have done the same before logging out as someone logged on but only as I had something else to do at that point, it was never deliberate.

 

It's not necessarily down to anything you did when you met her in person, when my dates went bad I thought it was down to me screwing things up but my friends think it was down to me being over keen/desperate looking when I called them following the first date, basically the date went fine but I messed it up when trying to meet them again.

 

When did she last initiate contact with you? If it's been a few days since she has then maybe you could send her an email, not too long, just say hi ask how's she doing and if she wants to catch up again, suggest a possible day etc. If she blows you off and says she's busy, send an email back keeping it short and say you've got quite a few things on but might be able to fit her in the following week sometime.

 

I'm not an advocate of using the above as a means of trying to get to know a girl better as a general rule (see my previous post) but maybe you just need to keep in contact but not do all the chasing. Send her an email and then let her reply, don't send another one before she replies. I know how difficult it is and I still do the odd bit of chasing because it's not always that easy not to but you could give it a try and see how things go. I wouldn't rule this out as a lost cause just yet.

 

Does anyone have any thoughts?

[Derek]

I notice that you guys are caring alot about what the girls are thinking about you it seems...

 

Forget about what they think of you, forget about whether they ignored you or logged off when you got online. Their loss. They have the hang-up if they can't handle you maturely, it says more about them.

Be your own person and don't let the opinions of others paralyze you.

You have only one life, use it, live it, it's yours and no one elses.

 

 

 

[Caldus]

Well she actually talked to me again later today, but the conversation was still a litte one-sided, but I'm just glad that she still wants to talk to me. Maybe in the future it will go somewhere again. Who knows. For now, you're right Derek. Can't let this one girl drive me insane. Her loss. I'm glad you posted that.

[drahcir]

down&out,

 

i am sure that a lot of people have felt like doing the columbie sort of thing...its natural when you have been oppressed that much...but think carefully before you do it--what if there is a hell awaiting for you after you do it---i am being serious...its something to consider...also remember that Eric and Dylan don't have a girlfriend, and they will never have one..there is still hope for YOU!!! you might still find a girlfriend, find a job...ect....don't rehearse negative thoughts in your head, even if you say you "like it"....because it on ly makes you more angry....think about how awesome it will be when you do have a girlfriend, and how you could share all your problems with her and she will understand...suicide is a pernament solution to a temperory problem....think about that.....and focus more thoughts on girls, less on killing yourself.....

 

with concern,

 

Richard

[downout]

 

 

Well i understand normal depression, opression, feeling down some days. But when u feel like that all the time its like your spirit is crushed and you have no energy or desire left for life. Everything that happens to me is negative and its not that i am a weak person, infact I think i am pretty strong mentally, its just after 6 years of this i am starting to break. There is only so much you can take before it puts you over the edge. And unfortunately I am nearing that point. I know everyone says things will be better tomorrow, it will pass, its only a phase, your luck will change, good things come to those who wait. No i dont believe it because after all this time it hasnt happened. You can only wait so long.

[madhornet]

Well put it this way I'm giving myself until I'm 35 to find a long term girlfriend so that's just over 7 years. I figure after that time if I still haven't had one then it's definitely not going to change and all the nice girls will be gone by that time. The last 2 years have gradually got harder and harder as I see more and more friends and people I know finding the 'perfect person' and being 'so happy' and I've had enough of being told not to look it'll just 'happen'. I've got a chance of meeting some girls at a wedding on Saturday so hopefully my friends might help with the odd introduction and I'll get a bit of luck for once, however I don't think many of them are single but fingers crossed.

[drahcir]

Down&out,

 

what sorts of bad things are happening apart from not having a girlfriend??? are things really taht bad..or do you just think they are? lots and lots of bad things have happened in my life too apart from not having a girlfriend...relations with my family has been a shambles at times even though i try hard to have relations with them...and from grade 4-11 i had no friends at school....but ya...one just has to go on and work to make things better for themself....cuz you never know what will happen in the future....okay what exactly are the problems you having (apart from lack of gfs)...????? how can you solve them????? i am sure you can pull yourself out of this if you try hard enough..if not maybe you should try some sort of religion or spirituality--have you ever thought about that??

 

good luck,

 

Richard

 

PS: Good this site is up and running again!!

[JonnyG]

Wheres this magic 25 years of age come from? I hope that isn't the case cause I don't plan to marry til 30, and im hoping to date several girls in that time and find the one that can truly make me happy.

 

I must admit, i find things suck when it comes to girls. I don't seem to be able to find the right 1 (not that i seem to go out with or pull that many), and when a nice girl that i really like comes along, something sucky happens, like they live in another country, or they go back to their ex (like my ex did). I find it frustrating at my lack of luck with girls. I can't stand the amount of total to**ers out there who treat girls badly and yet the girls go out with them. blah blah blah.

 

Considering how i look and how i treat women, i definitely am coming up short on the tally. But i still try to maintain a hope of finding the perfect girl.

 

I think in all honesty i wont find the perfect girl til im between 25-30, so like i said, i hope u guys are all wrong with this "no girls after 25" theory. Theres loads of girls 25+ who havent got bf's. Think about it this way, if the world is roughly 50/50 males to females, how can all the girls be taken and guys are free? I actually think there are more females in the world than males 52/48 i think if im right???

 

 

My ex was 31 (altho she was on a break with her ex as they ended up getting back together Pity i got caught up in the middle, but we both truly like each other still and are talking)

 

And a girl that im seeing (sex only relationship as she knows how i feel about my ex plus it couldnt work anyway as she is leaving to go back home permantely soon and she lives in another country) is 26.

 

I seem to do better with older girls. Now my point isnt to brag, but to highlight that there are older girls out there who are available. Maybe not so many, but there are, and this wont change, ppl of every age will be free, just in different quantities.

 

Wlfpack81 and others, i know u must be gutted. Im gutted and i've had some girls in my life, but im yet to have luck in finding that special one and keeping her. So i know u must be really down in the dumps. But try to not give up hope. There is more than likely someone out there who is waiting for u.

[drahcir]

Jonny G,

 

the reason for the 25 cut off age is that if you reach a certain age like that having not had a girlfriend, you are mostly likely doomed for life...its true there are single people that age, but they are single because they want to be single.....we don't.....like for them, they could easily find a boyfriend / girlfriend if they wanted to..but they don't want to..meanwhile if we reach that age with out finding someone, its like we will never find someone...

 

its a pity there are so many occasions to celebrate love and relationships but none to celebrate singlehood in the western world...in Korea, they have 3 days: February 14 is when the girls express love to the guys, March 14 is when the guys express their love to the girls, and April 14 is single's days...its a day to celebrate being single...here in the western world, where most of us live, there is no singles day..there are few if any singles clubs...its sucks!!!!!!

 

Richard

[drahcir]

Hey guys!!!

 

I was wondering..what do you guys do on on Valentine's day when you don't have a girlfriend....its a really sucky for some....seeing everyone else with someone..including people who don't deserve to be with someone..oh well...what do you usually do...i usually just do homework and just forget about it......this year i watched Romeo & Juliet (1996 Version).....whatz a good thing to do on Valentine's day if you are single???

 

one could do charity work..show what true love is...i know some churches have a dinner for the homeless on valentine's day.....hmm......or have a single's party....WHAT else could we do on Valentines day, apart from feeling sorry for ourselves and for some of us thinking about killing ourselves....something productive.....

 

Richard

[drahcir]

i remember what i was going to say....i remember that when i was in high school, every christmas the student council had this thing where you could buy a candy cane and attach a note to it for $1 and the student council would sent it to someone you were in love with, or a friend or something...they also did the same with roses on valentines day.....well anyway there was this weird but popular guy who felt sorry for all the single people who would not be getting a candy cane or rose....so he struck a deal with the student council, and for a reduced price bought candy canes for every single student in the school, at his own expense ( like $300 or something) and wrote individual notes to every single person in the school, so no one would ever not get a candy cane.....it was really meaningful for some people...just that they were remembered....like they were single and felt hurt and seeing everyone else get candy canes / roses....if anyone here is in high school and has the money, maybe they could do the same for valentine day...if possilbe...it will really mean A LOT to many singles like ourselves....

 

Richard

[Alabama]

A Single's day, huh? Wish they had that here in the U.S...

[Shinobie]

Hmm tomorrow is my friends birthday and this girl he has been dating for a lil bit is gonna be there and this is his first.She is bringing some friends to me some of his friends and me and my friend richard r his friends.Hopefully i can talk a lot and actually have a fun time with them cause who know sif all goes well maybe i might have a chance of asking one out.Wish me luck guys cause we are all going out to do things hopefully i dotn clam up =/ but my friend richard usually make sme feel alil more relaxed.So nervous

[drahcir]

singles day in korea is actually a day to be sad...this is an thing a copied of a website about it...

 

"Black day is a consolation day for the women who did not have a partner on Valentine's Day and for the men who did not give candies to anyone on White Day. These people get together for emotional support. Everything is black for them that day. They wear black clothes, from head to toe, they eat black bean noodles, and even at a café the coffee has to be black. There is a tendency for those people to couple up, too. "

 

link removed

[madhornet]

Got a letter from a female friend of mine yesterday which summed up the way most women seem to think about us men. She'd just broken up with her boyfriend of about 4 months, claiming basically he was messing her around the whole time and wasn't really interested in 'commitment' so she ended things. She then started going out with this other bloke but said he wasn't really right for her and besides he was too 'nice' and she wanted 'a bit of rough'.

 

She's always complaining about not being able to find a nice guy to go out with (she's 23 now and I've known her for over 3 years and get her going on about this all the time) but continues to go out with the nasty blokes who treat her like rubbish. I have no intention of going out with her as we're good friends but don't have much in common in terms of having a relationship and she lives too far away anyhow yet it doesn't surprise me that us nice guys struggle to find a girlfriend when the majority of women think like that. It really makes me wonder what we have to do to get out of the permanent rut we find ourselves in...

[Shinobie]

Wow i just got back from going with my friends and those 2 girls and i just came back very depressed....Like usual it seems that the second girl without a boyfriend took a liking to my friend richard right away and me usually how i am lonely watching everybody else have a great time.Theres a lot more to go about this subject but i am too down and feel like nothing to explain it all.I literally HATE MY SELF,wish i was never born,and am so close to killing myself i can taste it.I tried to talk with her and go along with he rin the mall but she always seemed to talk to richard plenty of times and go sit with him in the movie theatre.I spend all my life giving and what do i get back,nothing...My friend richard owes me like 200 bucks and me being so gernerous i constantly help him out with stuff asnd he usally pays me back.I just dont ant to be ncie anymore or live anymore it feels like it s waste of my time and everyone elses i feel so pathetic.I dont even feel like god likes me,he just gives everybody else all the good times and i be so nice to everyone but nothing comes.What my plan is is that im going to save all my money up until the time i graduate high school, donate it to charity,join the army,and hope i die in action bedcause im pathetic.....Things like this with girls always happen and it has happened countless times.Why is it that i am not meant to have anyone who likes me what is the problem with me?,i think its just because imma stupid ugly bastard......I feel so stupid,depressed,lonely,and very suicidal.Ive grown a great hate for myself that just keeps growing and growing,i dont even feel like living at all i am so close to cutting my life off,nobody cares in my life that i know and i dont care.....

[wlfpack81]

join the club Shinobie. I don't know what I can say man other than the Bible (if you're religious and I'll admit I'm not that religious which may be the problem) says the meek (such as me and you) shall enherit the Earth. Of course we'll see if that's the case when Judgement Day so many religions talk about comes.

[Caldus]

I don't actually get to point of being suicidal (already went through all of that in high school and learned from it) but I do get pretty down sometimes. About six months ago I started a relationship with God and my life has become so much better even though I've never experienced love outside of my family. I am still growing in faith every day but the thing is I realize now that most girls out there are just not my type at all. I have a new requirement in a girl that I want to marry and that is that she has a strong relationship with God. I've met a girl like that last week and ever since we've been talking a lot. There are a lot of obstacles in the way between us ever getting together right now but I am just so happy that there are women out there that are exactly my type. I'm also not so concerned about "losing the race" so to speak, because I feel like I know that I will find the right person some day.

 

I have met many women around my age ever since a few weeks ago and there has only been 1 that I am interested in getting to know more. My passion in life is God now and I want a girl just like that. Otherwise, the relationship wouldn't work out for me. I just know it wouldn't. I don't feel as lonely anymore knowing that most girls out there are not for me and that if they don't want me, then it's their loss too.

 

Shinobie: You are even younger than me. A lot of people tell me that I'm too young to be worrying so much about never finding someone. You have a lot more time than I do! And I still have a lot of time too! You have years to accomplish this. You have so much time to improve yourself in ways that you want to improve and to figure out exactly what kind of person you want to be with for the rest of your life. So please don't kill yourself over it!

 

I will continue to pray for all of you guys.

[drahcir]

thats right..no one here needs to go kill themself because they don't have a girlfriend....

 

some of the guys here are wondering why God would make them so ugly, so unpopular, without girlfriends...i once saw a cartoon about that: this chicken says to another chicken, "I want to ask God why if he is God there is so much suffering, so much pain, so much starvation"......the other chicken says "Then why don't you ask him?". The first chicken replies "I am afraid he will ask me the same question"...the point is that the reason there is so much suffering is not God's fault but mans..and thereforeeee we humans have to solve that problem....so there are some people who are lonely and want to find girlfriends...well we have to take personal responsiblity and do something about it, rather than ranting on at God.....are there some starving people? we should send them some food, rather than ranting at God about it......its our choice too do what we want we our lives, and we will be responsible for the choices we make....but what if someone is ugly? what can they do about that? well you could do your best to always dress attractively...i have seen many ugly people of both sexes look attractive after taking time to dress attractively..but more important, work on personality, which is usually more important to girls than looks....i myself once feel in love with a very ugly girl..i don't know why phyically i liked her, but she was the sweetest girl ever...so so so sweet...and i adored her...too bad i didn't tell her how i felt about her.....what a moron i was..but anyway.....personality can make a huge difference....

 

as for madhornet...i don't think that all girls are that mean....i think there are lots of nice girls out there....its true that some girls go for guys who treat them like crap..just like there are some guys who go for hot babes who have the same intelligence as an ostrich (or lack thereof....lol....)....i mean some people of both sexes are just stupid when it comes to dating, and everything else too..but remember what i was saying about girls from the philippines and korea..they care more about heart than western girls do, in general..of course not all of them are like that, but do you know any filipino or korean girls??? are there any nearby...if so you should really try on them because they care more about heart and less about how you look or how much money you make.......also if you present yourself as decent, many of them are attracted because they don't like the immorality of western liberal ways....many of them of Roman Catholics..or some Christian or even buddhist...either way they are more caring about heart, family, and hard work and good values......

 

RIchard

[drahcir]

hey guys and girls.........

 

who here has been to this website:

 

link removed

 

its about a guy who calculates it is statistically impossible for him to find a girlfriend..

 

okay lets look at him numbers:

 

He says there are around 605,000,000 females in "developed countries", of whom 65,000,000 are 18-25...okay he could have included 16-17 year olds, who i think are old enough to date.....but anyway...of which he says only 1.5 million are beautiful...what a joke!!! thats only 2.2% are beautiful????? okay reasonably, i would say that 60% of girls that age a hot!!! and looks don't really matter..heart is what matters...but even if looks do matter, then 60% of 65,000,000 is 39,000,000 potential girlfriends...now he says that of those who are beautiful, only 16% are intelligent....now i don't know if he means intelligent or wise here...cuz if he really means intelligent, atleast 95% of women are intelligent....as for wise..hmm..i would say 60% of people that age (both female AND male) are wise.....which leaves 23,400,000 potential girlfriends....now he says that maybe 50% of those girls are already commited..fair enough.....that leaves 11,700,000 potential girlfriends..and finally he says that maybe only 16% will actually like him...now girls usually will like any guy who will like them...like if you had to chose between some hot girl who didn't like you and a nice girl who did, who would you chose??? the latter..same with girls...maybe 60% of girls could like me i think...leaving me with around 7,000,000 potential girlfriends....now divide that by the 605,000,000 women in "developed" nations, and we find that around 1% of girls are available to be a girlfriend to us!!! but consider this: make an effort to talk to 10 new girls a day..then every 10 days you would find a potential girlfriend....30 new potential girlfriends a year....just something to think about

 

Richard

[Shinobie]

Actually i dont know why i care so much there is just something inside of me that says i need it bad.Im in a pretty deep depression and i dont even know why i just feel so down.Ive been through a thing like this with girls many times and i guess this time it just got to me the worst because this damn friend of mine gets a new girlfriend like evry month and i want to be with somebody so bad iono why.I always go to do something with friends and some girls and they always go for that one friend of mine who is always the "hot one" out of like many times i have been liked by the girls 0 times,none ever like me.As for pain right now feels very painful and is the worst depression ive ever been in i feel so bad.U know how people release the pain by cutting themselves im kind of doing that by not eating.I dont know why but i havent eaten in 2 days and my stomach aches sometimes needing food but i dont go eat, feel like letting my pathetic body starve.Cant explain how i got so down and depressed maybe its just a medical disorder i have.

[madhornet]

I know there are nice girls out there they are just difficult to find, especially at my age when most of them are either spoken for or hard to pick out in a group. Maybe pubs/bars aren't really the best places to find women but obviously some of the shyer ones go there because if I do then I'm sure they must as well but when you're socialising with friends it's not easy to keep an eye out for the quieter women in groups and wait for them to perhaps get a drink at the bar and go up at the same time and say hi to them. Generally it's hard to find them anyway in such a location and if both are shy then we're unlikely to be very conversational - at least not to get to the point of exchanging emails or something not too pressured after a mere couple of minutes.

 

Anyway the other situation I am confused about came up again today which I don't really understand still. A couple of years ago now I saw a girl a few years younger than me (at an estimate) as I walked up the road where I live on the way to work. Every morning she'd smile at me and I'd smile back. After a couple of weeks I wrote her a very short note and handed it to her - basically asking her if she'd like to meet up for a drink sometime. She handed me one back the next day saying she had a long term boyfriend but thanked me for asking her. We still smiled at each other each day and even stopped for the odd chat, exchanged Christmas cards etc. I didn't see her for a while until today when she was waiting for a bus near where I work and she smiled at me as I walked past and I smiled back.

 

Now is it me or is she just playing games with me? I've occasionally seen her not long after I first saw her walking from work holding hands with a bloke who looks in his 40's who has a child (this was nearly 2 years ago). If I see her again should I suggest meeting up or am I wasting my time? I'm not really sure what to do! I've never had a girl smile at me like this before but it seems a bit strange to do it in the street. Is she perhaps shy like me and is employing a defence mechanism against meeting me or should I just not worry about her and ignore it?