Is taking off a childs clothes to spank sexual abuse.

[NEVEAH]

LOL oh please......I've hear it all now.

Funny though my dog listens to me, and is very obedient.

I rest my case.

 

And are you kidding me??? I don't actually smear the dogs nose in feces..I put the dogs nose close to the feces so it smells it..and I yell NO!!!

I probably should have worded that differently...my bad.

[SapphireNoir10]

Moderators Note: Please dont turn this into an argument or debate because it will result in the threads closure. Remember to respect eachothers opinions.

[Seymore]

How can you hit a child but not a dog?

I will NEVER understand that.

 

You can distract a child (toddler) from getting in trouble once you see it happening. They start having a fit or wandering off, their attention can be regained with toys or something.

 

Giving a kid toys or something when they have a fit isn't regaining their attention, it's rewarding them.

 

Kids and dogs respond to different things. If my cat starts to take a dump on the carpet, I'll spray it with a water bottle (hopefully THAT'S considered humane 10 years from now). Spray a kid with a water bottle when he's acting up and he'll think you're trying to start a water fight.

[anggrace]

Why is no one addresing the fact that these kids clothes are coming off and that the mother is hicking up her her skirt?

 

OP: Im assuming your concern was this ^^^ when you asked if it was "sexuall abuse" ? Can you tell us why this is necesary? I am genuinlly curious.

 

Im not suggesting at all that your intent is anything sexuall, my concern is what kind of mental discomfort this could cause these not so young kids.

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

Giving a kid toys or something when they have a fit isn't regaining their attention, it's rewarding them.

 

Luckily we will never get married so you can hit your child and I won't hit abuse my pets. *handshake*

 

 

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

Why is no one addresing the fact that these kids clothes are coming off and that the mother is hicking up her her skirt?

 

OP: Im assuming your concern was this ^^^ when you asked if it was "sexuall abuse" ? Can you tell us why this is necesary? I am genuinlly curious.

 

Im not suggesting at all that your intent is anything sexuall, my concern is what kind of mental discomfort this could cause these not so young kids.

 

 

There probably wouldn't be a case for sexual abuse, but it is definitely crossing some scary lines. It sounds rather "old school" though...

[Seymore]

Luckily we will never get married so you can hit your child and I won't hit abuse my pets. *handshake*

 

 

 

Luckily. I'd hate to have kids grow up thinking they'd be given a toy every time they threw a fit.

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

Luckily. I'd hate to have kids grow up thinking they'd be given a toy every time they threw a fit.

 

Oh come on, who said that? I didn't say that. An innocent wandering off or grabbing for something they shouldn't? I think you can distract them somehow without striking them. My father never ever hit me once and I didn't cause him problems. I don't think you HAVE to hit children, like people are claiming.

 

I despise children anyway. I would never have one.

[Seymore]

Oh come on, who said that? I didn't say that.

 

I quote:

 

They start having a fit or wandering off, their attention can be regained with toys or something.

 

Iphigenia, I like you. I've always thought you were a cool poster. I'm not trying to start stuff with you, and I respect your opinion.

 

However, I feel like you've got this idea that I'd be running around smacking my kids senseless every time they picked something up. It's something I believe should be used as a last resort, and I'm just refuting the claims that taking something away or a "time out" is more effective.

[Batya33]

Thanks for your input that it didn't work for you to be disciplined other than physical punishment. I taught and worked with hundreds of young children as a teacher, day care provider, and nanny. I never used yelling or physical punishment as discipline.

 

And my methods - including the ones I listed in my post - and others - all worked.- often they required repeating (and so does spanking from what I saw) but I was patient and determined to have the child learn through positive reinforcement of good behavior and by non-physical consequences (and no yelling) for inappropriate behavior. And many of these kids were from very troubled or desperately poor homes where they did not get positive attention or sometimes any attention.

 

I didn't say to talk "nice" by the way - I spoke in a firm, assertive way but I didn't yell because that hurt my throat and children tune that out which means you have to yell louder - bad cycle.

 

I was tested many many times and what I believe kids test is to see if you will lose control. To me, spanking (not a quick, not hard, swat on the behind or a pull on the hand to take the child away from imminent danger) and all yelling reflects a loss of control. Once the adult loses control, the child loses respect for that adult. It also shows weakness on the part of the adult to the child because the child sees that the adult can't create a learning environment other than with a cop-out spanking.

 

and I don't want to teach a child to hit someone to get his way - he won't be allowed to do that at school for example and unlearning bad behavior especially behavior taught by a caregiver is much harder than learning appropriate behavior in the first place.

[NEVEAH]

I quote:

 

 

 

Iphigenia, I like you. I've always thought you were a cool poster. I'm not trying to start stuff with you, and I respect your opinion.

 

However, I feel like you've got this idea that I'd be running around smacking my kids senseless every time they picked something up. It's something I believe should be used as a last resort, and I'm just refuting the claims that taking something away or a "time out" is more effective.

 

 

I completely agree with this too.

To think I would hit or beat kids for the heck of it it

ridiculous. And just because you wouldn't spank your children

or you THINK you wouldn't does not give you the right to

call ME abusive.Unless you meet me or know me those comments

are completely presumptuous based on YOUR belief system.

[yeawutever]

Wow did someone just stated how a dog's nose needs to be rub in feces as a way of punishment??? Swapping it with newpaper 2 or 3 times alright, but rubbing it on feces that's sick.

 

As for the naked spanking, ok I would find that pervertish. At 11 years old, the kid is old enough to reason what they find normal versus abnormal and it's likey to cause a deep humiliation. At that age don't every child wants privacy when it comes to body parts. Lastly how can anyone assume spanking will work on every child and all of them will react the same?? There're more than 1 million kids in the world, every one of them vary in temper. In my view it's a risk you're taking, but oh well, have it your way.

As for the delinquently problem, whey assume that if you spank your kid will not be a delinquent. Is it the not v.s do spanking or the bad parenting skills?

 

Mind you but I'm the type that will hold grudges sometimes. That's the way I am if you hurt me in anyway. But I would respond a lot more to emotional pain rather then physical. With physical I would just laugh at it and end up responding back. Yes that's my style. You hit me, I don't care who you are, I hit you back. But you humiliate me in words or play with my emotions, then I would be clueless, that would hurt me the most.

[Seymore]

To me, spanking (not a quick, not hard, swat on the behind or a pull on the hand to take the child away from imminent danger) and all yelling reflects a loss of control.

 

What the heck is spanking then?

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

I quote:

 

 

 

Iphigenia, I like you. I've always thought you were a cool poster. I'm not trying to start stuff with you, and I respect your opinion.

 

However, I feel like you've got this idea that I'd be running around smacking my kids senseless every time they picked something up. It's something I believe should be used as a last resort, and I'm just refuting the claims that taking something away or a "time out" is more effective.

 

I am not referring to you specifically at all. You don't even have kids, right?

 

The theory that kids need to be slapped at in order to behave just annoys the life out of me. I would be a strict parent and cannot stand children being unruly but I still don't see the need to show physical domination. I think it sends the wrong message and leads to violence in adulthood. Just my opinion.

 

Most of my opinions on parenting come from sociologists and the things I have learned earning my minor. I am an only child and haven't seem too many good examples of corporal punishment working out.

 

I think humiliation tactics work to ease the stress of the parent more than help guide the child.

[Qut81]

I don't find anything wrong with spanking (though 7-11 is a little too old), but I don't understand why the clothes have to come off.

 

More kids could use a spanking in this day and age.

 

Amen...especially those kids running around screaming in Walmart and the parent is like "hes expressing himself" lol

 

That is actually a good question, OP. I never heard of anyone doing this. I felt my spankings just fine with my clothes on. I do feel that is degrading to a child, especially 11. That is way too old to tell them to remove clothing, not too old for spanking though. My personal opinion, spanking and abuse are diff things.

 

Does anyone watch George Lopez? The grandmother said "what they now call abuse is what we called discipline in our day". lol Very true....

[NEVEAH]

I am not referring to you specifically at all. You don't even have kids, right?

 

The theory that kids need to be slapped at in order to behave just annoys the life out of me. I would be a strict parent and cannot stand children being unruly but I still don't see the need to show physical domination. I think it sends the wrong message and leads to violence in adulthood. Just my opinion.

 

Most of my opinions on parenting come from sociologists and the things I have learned earning my minor. I am an only child and haven't seem too many good examples of corporal punishment working out.

 

I think humiliation tactics work to ease the stress of the parent more than help guide the child.

 

 

And who said the kid needs to be SLAPPED???? Where are you getting this???

[Seymore]

I am not referring to you specifically at all. You don't even have kids, right?

 

How can you hit a child but not a dog?

 

That's how I took it.

[Batya33]

What the heck is spanking then?

 

To me spanking is striking a child on the behind with force as a form of punishment. In certain cases where there is imminent danger you might need to swat the child on the behind once -- not hard -- to get their attention - to me that's not spanking. I would think that also is something to use sparingly and probably happens reflexively when there is imminent danger.

[NEVEAH]

Yea..I revised what I said. I did not rub the dogs nose IN the feces..I stuck her nose close to it..and yes..swatted her nose. Sue me..I'm a monster..

[Batya33]

Amen...especially those kids running around screaming in Walmart and the parent is like "hes expressing himself" lol

 

That is actually a good question, OP. I never heard of anyone doing this. I felt my spankings just fine with my clothes on. I do feel that is degrading to a child, especially 11. That is way too old to tell them to remove clothing, not too old for spanking though. My personal opinion, spanking and abuse are diff things.

 

Does anyone watch George Lopez? The grandmother said "what they now call abuse is what we called discipline in our day". lol Very true....

 

Just because something was done in the past doesn't make it right. For example, 20 years ago -- and long before that too -- babies were put to bed on their stomachs and Sudden Infant Death Syndrome was much higher than today where babies are put to sleep on their backs.

[anggrace]

The OP's question was in regard to sexuall abuse/clothes coming off. Just a reminder.

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

That's how I took it.

 

I meant the general form of the word "you". I don't know if you have pets or kids. I think it's more acceptable to strike a child than a dog in our society.

 

Kind of odd to me.

[greywolf]

I think that spanking should be something used as a last resort when nothing else works.

As for the OP's question, I hated it when my dad did that, especially when I got older. He had no problem doing it in public either, which IMO was wrong.

[yeawutever]

I'm curious as to why the comparison with the past versus present?? Focus on what's done now, forget the past. It's annoying hearing about generations ago.

[NEVEAH]

Ok..I'm out of this thread...we're comparing apples and oranges now.

Good luck to the OP.