Would you dump your partner/boy/girlfriend over a kiss with someone else?

[Duckie198100]

Okay, but what's the point in having trust in anyone if you're just going to cut and leave when something happens? Isn't trust and affection and love supposed to give us the ability to work through issues and not just bolt?

 

I mean, I could understand if this were an issue of breaking trust over sex. That's one thing. But a kiss? It's very difficult to see the logic of this.

 

I don't think this forum is meant to discredit others logic on anything. It sounds like you are not acceptable to people believing differently than you. Just my opinion.

[Scorpion Fury]

Okay, but what's the point in having trust in anyone if you're just going to cut and leave when something happens? Isn't trust and affection and love supposed to give us the ability to work through issues and not just bolt?

 

I mean, I could understand if this were an issue of breaking trust over sex. That's one thing. But a kiss? It's very difficult to see the logic of this.

 

the point is, the trust is gone. once it's gone, it's hard to get back. Not everyone thinks a kiss is as insignificant as you do.

[dragon lady]

That just seems like you want to control him. Relationships shouldn't ever be about control.

 

No, not controlling either. It's just a preference. It's like any feature of a person that makes them more susceptible to cheating. I don't like to feel like I need to watch out. I'd prefer to be with someone who I can trust completely. A guy like that would not be one of them.

[FloatingAnchor]

Okay, but what's the point in having trust in anyone if you're just going to cut and leave when something happens? Isn't trust and affection and love supposed to give us the ability to work through issues and not just bolt?

 

I mean, I could understand if this were an issue of breaking trust over sex. That's one thing. But a kiss? It's very difficult to see the logic of this.

 

Yes, but it's not a carte blanche. People have different thresholds, that's all.

[JeckyllNHyde]

Probably. At least there'd better be a darn good reason why that kiss occurred.

 

Haha! Well said.

Drunk kiss I MAY overlook, but he better damn well make sure it was the first and last time.

I know he'd dump me over a kiss with someone else. So same goes for him.

I'd be willing to hear his side of the story though.

[lucky7]

No, I wouldn't dump my boyfriend if he kissed another woman. However I'd be very disappointed and angry about at first. I'd have a talk with him, and ask him why he did it in the first place.

[hexaemeron]

I don't think this forum is meant to discredit others logic on anything. It sounds like you are not acceptable to people believing differently than you. Just my opinion.

 

I'm not trying to look down or diminish anyone's views. I'm only seeking to understand. I'm an aspie for whom emotional connections are very very different to those of "normal" people. For me, it has to make logical sense.

[hexaemeron]

I don't think this forum is meant to discredit others logic on anything. It sounds like you are not acceptable to people believing differently than you. Just my opinion.

 

And you sound like your answer is the only one. It's not. I'm only seeking to understand why someone would feel this way.

[vivisection-8]

I'm not trying to look down or diminish anyone's views. I'm only seeking to understand. I'm an aspie for whom emotional connections are very very different to those of "normal" people. For me, it has to make logical sense.

 

It is making logical sense if u actually open your mind and pay attention to what people are saying. You simply resist everythin ppl are putting out there for u

[hexaemeron]

No, I wouldn't dump my boyfriend if he kissed another woman. However I'd be very disappointed and angry about at first. I'd have a talk with him, and ask him why he did it in the first place.

 

This is more of what I was expecting as a response. Thank you very much. This I understand entirely.

[Duckie198100]

I'm not trying to look down or diminish anyone's views. I'm only seeking to understand. I'm an aspie for whom emotional connections are very very different to those of "normal" people. For me, it has to make logical sense.

 

Um...how does logic factor into anything when it comes to emotions? I'm not trying to backtrack here, but taking an analytical view on something so touchy as emotions doesn't make sense to me. Everyone is different.

[hexaemeron]

It is making logical sense if u actually open your mind and pay attention to what people are saying. You simply resist everythin ppl are putting out there for u

 

Logic and emotion are all too often akin to oil and water. They don't mix and aren't usually compatible. I understand this. But like I said, your way and answer is not the only way, and neither is mine. I'm just trying to wrap my head around this in a way that makes sense to me.

[hexaemeron]

Um...how does logic factor into anything when it comes to emotions?

 

I mentioned this earlier. I have Asperger's Syndrome and it affects my social interaction and how I process/interpret emotions.

[PsychGirly]

Yes, only because I know myself well enough to know that I'd never be able to trust that person again.

 

If I continued on in that relationship, it wouldn't be a healthy one--for me & for him.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I wouldn't dump him but I'd be extremely upset.

[Supa_gurl]

Boyfriend:

If it was some random person he kissed, no

If it was someone I was suspicious of in the first place, yes

 

*If I had suspicisions he proved there was a darn good reason for it.

*If we were married, there would be a second chance. but thats it

[amtjrtcet]

There's a discussion going on in another thread and I find this amazing. Would you break up with your partner if a kiss with someone else happened?

 

Yes, no question.

 

If my SO did anything with someone else that they wouldn't do in front of me, I'd break up with him...

[FloatingAnchor]

Okay, here's a logical argument for you. A relationship is like a contract, to put it in not so sentimental terms. There's implicit trust involved. A kiss breaks that trust and breaches the contract. Therefore, the other party is justified in dissolving the contract and leaving the relationship.

[laisla]

if it was a mistake and he told me soon after and said sorry, no. if he did it because he liked a girl and did not tell me and wanted to hide it........especially if i found out on my own, HELL YEA HE'S GONE.

[vivisection-8]

I mentioned this earlier. I have Asperger's Syndrome and it affects my social interaction and how I process/interpret emotions.

 

Do u really know anything about asperger's cuz it doesn't make u more susceptible to cheating which is what im gathering from ur posts...

 

to put my $ where my mouth is:

 

link removed

[Ac143]

If my SO admitted to just kissing someone (drunk or not) because you cant prove if that happened while they were drunk unless you were there - I would probably forgive him, but we would have to go to counseling together. I know how I am & it would take ALOT for me to trust him again. If he didn't want to go then we would need to end it.

 

If it was one of my old BF's I would have given them the boot, for sure. They were all not worth it lol.

[girl68]

Isn't that throwing the baby out with the bathwater? I mean, if someone is there for you in good times and bad, supports you and loves you, holds your head when you are sick and lets you be there for him/her the same...

 

Why does something so small negate ALL of that?

 

Good times and bad in my books mean tough fights, no sleeping, pressed for money, etc. This does not emcompass cheating (kissing is cheating, sex is cheating, cuddling is cheating.)

 

Okay, but what's the point in having trust in anyone if you're just going to cut and leave when something happens? Isn't trust and affection and love supposed to give us the ability to work through issues and not just bolt?

 

I mean, I could understand if this were an issue of breaking trust over sex. That's one thing. But a kiss? It's very difficult to see the logic of this.

 

So you think that becasue I trust/ love someone I need to stick around to work it out becasue I "trust" him? FYI he just killed any shot of trust for a long, long, LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOG time.

 

Love does NOT conquer all. If my man came home and said I love you but I screwed some chick, I will say I love you too- GTFO.

 

Ok kissing is very intimate if it weren't explain to me the pretty woman thing she's blow screw but she won't kiss. Why? Perhaps the act is too intimate. I realize it's a movie but kissing IS very intimate so therefore easy to lump in with sex blow jobs and the like. So while you may think kissing is perfectly acceptable to many it is so far from that your butt will get dumped.

[hexaemeron]

Do u really know anything about asperger's cuz it doesn't make u more susceptible to cheating which is what im gathering from ur posts...

 

If you've met one aspie, you've met one aspie. Anyone is capable of cheating. You continue to make value judgments against me and all I'm attempting to do is understand why people might react the way they do.

 

I don't need to hear endlessly from you "because it's wrong and you're bad". I absolutely desire to have a spirited discussion, but if you're going to be the troll you're accusing me of being, I will simply have to report you.

[hexaemeron]

But we break promises all the time. We promise to always have a job. We promise not to get sick. We promise to be active and vital and all of us at some point break these implicit promises, and most couples work through these issues without the venom and vehemence I am seeing here. Why is this different?

[vivisection-8]

If you've met one aspie, you've met one aspie. Anyone is capable of cheating. You continue to make value judgments against me and all I'm attempting to do is understand why people might react the way they do.

 

I don't need to hear endlessly from you "because it's wrong and you're bad". I absolutely desire to have a spirited discussion, but if you're going to be the troll you're accusing me of being, I will simply have to report you.

 

read the link i posted.