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Would you dump your partner/boy/girlfriend over a kiss with someone else?

hexaemeron

By hexaemeron
in Infidelity

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laisla Apprentice

laisla

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But it doesn't matter if HE is okay.

 

It matters if the GIRL he is with CARES.

 

he said he is okay with it if his boyfriend would have kissed someone.

out of respect for his boyfriend he will not kiss another person. he is not planning to cheat. he is just saying he is okay with his bf kissing another.

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hexaemeron Collaborator

hexaemeron

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Yeah, the boys drive me crazy. Can't help it! And please, let me reiterate, I'm not telling anyone to believe as I do. I want the respect to live my life as I see fit, so of course I want to offer that respect in kind. It's... difficult a lot of the time feeling things that are natural to you but everyone else or about.

 

But I'm a young super tall and attractive gay aspie. They broke the mold with me.

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hexaemeron Collaborator

hexaemeron

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I think when people are extremly egotistical and stuck on themselves, they are more likely to cheat.

 

One partner isnt enough, they need the constant sexual gratification from other's aswell so they can confirm their feelings.

 

I don't know that I agree with that. I think there is always a fine line between egotism and confidence. If you read even just the ENA forums, you see people cheat for all manner of reasons. Anger, frustration, long term relationship bed death, feeling lonely.

 

Yes, cheating is a choice. Yes, it is wrong. But sometimes people do the wrong things for the right reasons.

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vivisection-8 Newbie

vivisection-8

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I don't know that I agree with that. I think there is always a fine line between egotism and confidence. If you read even just the ENA forums, you see people cheat for all manner of reasons. Anger, frustration, long term relationship bed death, feeling lonely.

 

Yes, cheating is a choice. Yes, it is wrong. But sometimes people do the wrong things for the right reasons.

 

Do you always tend to rationalize terrible, deceitful actions?

 

There is not one situation i can think of that makes cheating o k for any1 to do...

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Rose21 Rising Star

Rose21

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Yeah insecurity is a big factor too.

 

although I am insecure and would never even think to cheat! Although my insecurities are getting MUCH better, I barely worry anymore like I used to.

 

But Hexemeron, it just seems like you keep justifying for your immoral actions. I mean, you and the 10% may find cheating okay and that you can't be with one person all your life (Perhaps you haven't found the RIGHT one yet?) But the rest of the 90% find it wrong, and when they succumb to it in a matter of weakness they feel AWFUL.

 

You seem to have no remorse whatsoever.

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laisla Apprentice

laisla

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But Hexemeron, it just seems like you keep justifying for your immoral actions. I mean, you and the 10% may find cheating okay and that you can't be with one person all your life (Perhaps you haven't found the RIGHT one yet?) But the rest of the 90% find it wrong, and when they succumb to it in a matter of weakness they feel AWFUL.

 

You seem to have no remorse whatsoever.

 

it doesn't sound like hex is pro-cheating. he is okay with his partner kissing another person. cheating would be if he was NOT okay with his partner cheating yet they do it against his wishes. there's a difference. it's like having an open book test where you are allowed to see your textbook vs. a closed book exam where you are not allowed to open the textbook. only one situation would be cheating if you opened your book. you're putting a lot of judgment on him without understanding what he's really saying.

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Cognitive_Canine Enthusiast

Cognitive_Canine

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Yeah insecurity is a big factor too.

 

although I am insecure and would never even think to cheat! Although my insecurities are getting MUCH better, I barely worry anymore like I used to.

 

But Hexemeron, it just seems like you keep justifying for your immoral actions. I mean, you and the 10% may find cheating okay and that you can't be with one person all your life (Perhaps you haven't found the RIGHT one yet?) But the rest of the 90% find it wrong, and when they succumb to it in a matter of weakness they feel AWFUL.

 

You seem to have no remorse whatsoever.

 

Sounds like he just doesn't link sex to love. Seems okay to me as long as his partner feels the same way.

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Rose21 Rising Star

Rose21

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I guess so. As long as his partner is okay with it.

 

I am TOTALY against it, and my partner would be too.

 

I mean, just yesterday I was just messing with him. I was telling him that I was so horny and looking at other guys and fantasizing. I didn't even say I did anything.

 

And he was more pissed then I have EVER seen him! I was just joking, and he usualy can tell when I'm joking.

 

He says that was one step below actually cheating and he needed like an hr to cool down with me on the phone.

 

I just expected him to get a little worked up and them laugh it off, because he rarely ever shows hes jealous or worried. But this set him over the edge.

 

Ugh deffinatly NOT the reaction I was wanting. I felt really bad=/ Luckily everything is more then okay now.

 

And after I got that reaction, it shows me he really DOES care and it's like all of the insecurities I've had before are gone.

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hexaemeron Collaborator

hexaemeron

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so basically ur insecurities transferred to his. you dont have to be hex's perspective just to escape codependence, but you also don't have to be codependent to avoid being emotionally dead.

 

Hahah! I am NOT emotionally dead! I just feel differently about some things, that's all!

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vivisection-8 Newbie

vivisection-8

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Hahah! I am NOT emotionally dead! I just feel differently about some things, that's all!

 

granted i dont know you and i am going off what i read here, but you present yourself in a manner which would suggest that you lack emotional maturity... perhaps not dead and just infantile?

 

men who love men tend to be that way, though. i think women do a good job of maturing a man's emotions and two men tend to merely reinforce the stunting of emotional growth

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Cognitive_Canine Enthusiast

Cognitive_Canine

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granted i dont know you and i am going off what i read here, but you present yourself in a manner which would suggest that you lack emotional maturity... perhaps not dead and just infantile?

 

men who love men tend to be that way, though. i think women do a good job of maturing a man's emotions and two men tend to merely reinforce the stunting of emotional growth

 

That is completely unfair to the OP. I think you are being far too judgmental.

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hexaemeron Collaborator

hexaemeron

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granted i dont know you and i am going off what i read here, but you present yourself in a manner which would suggest that you lack emotional maturity... perhaps not dead and just infantile?

 

men who love men tend to be that way, though. i think women do a good job of maturing a man's emotions and two men tend to merely reinforce the stunting of emotional growth

 

I think that everyone's experiences in life, the gifts they possess, the flaws they live with, all these things color how we see, interpret and respond to the world and others in it.

 

I don't think it's fair to say I'm emotionally immature simply because I don't agree with your stances on these subjects. I am a human being and I do feel. I struggle often to understand what so many others take for granted, and that does mean in some ways I'm behind the curve emotionally on some things. But I won't ever give up being who I am, and knowing that I always treat people with respect, dignity that I hope to receive from others.

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