To all non-believers, there is hope. She's back back!!!!!!!!

[danimal77]

Guess what???? I saw and I conquered and 6 weeks later, she's back and I never applied the no contact rule. My strategy won back the love of my

 

Yup, we've started to date again. There is hope I tell you.

My persistance has more than paid off. I don't know what clicked with her, but I just showed up at her school last Wednesday and she was receptive and I asked her out for the next night and I actually said that I wasn't going to take no for an answer. She accepted and since then, we've gone out on 3 "dates" and everyone has been better than the last and she seems to be falling for me all over again and it's a great feeling to know that I'm back to my old self (calm, confident, patient, cool, understanding, sweet, firm with my opinions and taking charge in many ways and boy is she "falling prey" to this. I don't understand what happened, but she's back. She's been calling me 5-6 times a day. This was a girl who told me that there was no hope and to move on and now she's moving in my direction and fast and I never applied the "no contact rule". Guys and girls, if you want advice, pm me and I'll fill you in on the secret of my continued success. It's challenging and not everyone has the desire, will or determination to succeed, but if you apply my strategy, you will.

 

Thanks for all of your advice and please feel free to comment or ask away, all you want. I guess she realizes that no man has come even close to me, on an emotional fulfillment level and looks of course . (haha).

[majord23]

Congrats danimal,

That really is fantastic news. I've followed your story and it seems that after trying no contact for a while, you decided that you were strong enough to have contact while not making yourself appear at all vulnerable....and indeed almost indifferent to your ex's behaviour. Definitely a brilliant way of winning someone back if you have the strength to do so.....always keep them guessing!

 

Well done my friend, enjoy!

[SincerlyHurt]

Dan, why dont you post your strategy here so everyone can read it and decide for themselves which route to take. I personally would love to know what you did. If you do not want to put it here please go ahead and PM me all your dirty little secrets.

 

Congrats man, I envy you and hope the best for you both. Treat each other right, never get content with the relationship, never waver.

[bennyboy0001]

dan i hope that you are right you have to understand that women out there are totally different and about you having her like putty and that just watch out dude there is always two different emotions running inside them once you think you got them blam there gone. im happy that you have your foot back in the door i just hope that my girl does the same thing. i miss her like crazy and yeah she broke up with me the day after valentines after a 9 months together even though it may not seem long the feelings where there and went away for a weekend to a romantic getaway to find my self dumped like 5 days after cuz of some sill reason i need a break i wont to feel single again.

 

do i hold on i will try but she has being back with me and dumped me again. i know im the perfect person for her i just wish she would understand......................................

 

good luck dan thanks for the tips

[hometownguy18]

Dan, I'm very curious as to what you did in general and your input on my own situation. I'm not promising you I'm going to do what you say completely, but the point of these boards is to get other people opinions regarding your own inquiries. So if you could get back with me sometime online, that would be great.

[GeeCee]

Oh Dan, you are the man!!!!

 

Fan-(*&!ing-tastic!!!

 

 

G xx

[danimal77]

Thanks Cee Cee.

 

We're taking it slowly. She's still on the single chat lines and I am assuming she has about a dozen guys on her MSN chat from there, that she talks to. I am not worried though. I never thought that I'd get my foot back in the door like this.

 

I just came back from a very romantic dinner with her, of which she paid for and her cell phone rang once and she looked at the number, but didn't answer. I knew that it was another guy. She's been on that single chat line for almost 7 weeks now, but I know that the way things are going, I'm prepared to let her have her fun now and get it out of her system. No more Mr. jealous or possessive. I'm cool, calm and confident and she's eating it up and is spending more and more time with me and is calling me a dozen times a day now.

 

I played my cards right. I was persistent, while giving her space and respecting her decisions and supporting her as well. I offered her friendship and I knew all along that she still had feelings, but the only way to get through to her heart, was through her head this time around and I've done and am still doing just that.

 

I've accomplished the impossible. She's back baby, she back!!!!!! This was a woman who told me to give up all hope, find another girl and move on and that she would never ever be there for me again and that she no longer loved me, or trusted me, or respected me and she made up her mind and that I just had to accept it and tonight she was in my arms, not even 7 weeks later. It can be done and I'm living proof of it.

 

Bye for now,

 

Dan

[GeeCee]

Hmmmmm ... you are obviously busy busy busy right now Danimal ... PM me with more details please.

 

G xx

[spatzcolumbo]

Hmmmmm:

 

This was a woman who told me to give up all hope, find another girl and move on and that she would never ever be there for me again and that she no longer loved me, or trusted me, or respected me and she made up her mind and that I just had to accept it

 

I like reading that bit...because that is exactly what my girl said to me. Almost word for word. I played it slightly differently...saw her a bunch of times as 'friends' before she left for uni, then went no contact for a while, until she contacted me. Since that i've let her do almost all the running, aside from birthday card and present, which i decided i SHOULD send her. She's been the one to initiate most of the contact in the last month, including telling me she's sure we'll meet up at Easter when she is back home from uni.

 

I'm taking things really slow, as i've yet to have a clear sign that she is interested, but your story gives me some hope!!

 

Well done. just keep doing the things you're doing - and don't get complacent.

[danimal77]

Do not listen to friends or family. Listen to your heart and let your head do the talking.

 

Right now, I have my feet back in the door. She's still on her single's chat line and has probably met a dozen guys off of that chat line in the last 7 weeks. Then why the hell come back to me, when she could have her fun with all of these other guys? The answer is simple. She loves me and they do not match up to me. I have not put my foot down yet, in regards to her stopping all contact with these men she met recently, or pulling her profile off of the chat line. I am being patient and am being smart. If I open up my mouth at this stage of the game, I am not exerting confidence. I am acting weak, because part of the reason she left me, is because I was jealous and insecure and I didn't trust her. Is it killing me to know that she has like 12 new guys on her MSN list? Yes. Are they real? No. They are talking to 20 other girls. What's real is me and my loyalty and supportive nature.

 

I could have wrote her off as being a bitch and a slut and moved on, like she told me to do, but I chose not to and I decided to take a chance and use a different strategy and play the game and show her that I don't even care if she's chatting with Matt, or Jason or Ian, or Ron, ect...., because there is only one Dan and she knows it and that's why she's back and eventually, the more fulfillment I give her, the less she's going to be interested in all of these guys, who she is using to build up her low self-esteem with and the more secure she'll feel with me, but never consistently though, because you have to keep them constantly guessing your next move. That's part of the reason how I got her back. I constantly gave her a little bit and then withheld. Don't give up everything right away. Show them you care, but you don't need them anymore and if there is love, they'll come back, but when they do, just act like you knew it all along.

 

It works. My only problem right now, is knowing when to tell her to pull a plug on her chat line and these men she's amassed from it, because they are insignificant and she knows it. Part of having respect for yourself, is not showing jealous or possessive tendencies, because women get turned off by it. Show them you don't care and they get scared that you really don't and then they come running and fast and hard in your direction. She called me up last night, crying, asking me if everything was alright, all because she took me out for an expensive meal and everything seemed to go well, of which it did and then later on that night when she called me, I sounded kind of indifferent again and she panicked and started to say, "I guess I don't make you happy then?" I didn't answer and told her to calm down, because if she didn't, I was going to have to let her go. 10 minutes later, she called me back, saying she's sorry she overeacted and how much she loves me and misses me. She's been eating out of the palm of my hands and it's only up from here. This girl would not give me the time of day for a month and a half. She does not "have me". She has to get me this time around and I'm not giving all of myself up so easily this time around. IT will drive her crazy and that's the point. It will keep her coming back from more, until I decide what's best for me and when I do, she'll be around for a very long time.

 

Peace out and goodnight. Believe and you will achieve and never surrender. Ever!!!

[Hopingpraying]

Dan,

 

If you are the confident man you say you are then never say anything about her chat line and she will eventually stop it herself. I believe you when you say she loves you and that is why she will choose you over all the others.. So don't worry about it. The second you bring that up she will probably head for the hills.

 

My two cents..

 

Other than that I really like what your saying. I ahve been using a modified version of no-contact.. however, while we are going through this custody thing my wife is going to hate me no matter what.. Probably for awhile.. If I roll over and not even try to get joint custody of my daughter then I feel like I am the bad father she is saying I am. Two days a week is not enough time to spend with a child.. It sucks, but I am making it..

 

No desire to get in another relationship anytime soon I can tell you that..

 

Good stuff on the boards tonight that is for sure.. Good reading!!

[danimal77]

Thanks Hoping and Praying,

 

I agree with you, in not mentioning to her, or even bringing up the fact that she should remove herself from the single chat line and delete and block the dozen or so guys she's slapped on her MSN list and exchanged #'s with. It is hard to jump ignore it, knowing that I'm not doing that myself. IT's just not in me to do. I do believe that with time, the longer things go well for us, together, she will just stop contact and take herself off the chat line on her own. I do know if I make an issue of it now, she will most certainly feel pressured and will run for the hills and maybe into any one of their arms. I am here to show her that I changed and not by words, but by action and her what she's doing now, is part of her old coping mechanisms and patterns and the more I continue to sustain and maintain and grow, she will change her old debilitating ways, out of necessity, in fear that she will potentially lose me.

 

I'm feeling great either way

[roark1216]

Been a while since an update - how is everything going?

[MC]

This may be a rush to judgement, but it seems that this no (or minimal) contact- no begging- pretending to be happy and enjoying life- stategy really works. My ex has been contacting me today and using "excuses" to do so.

For example: Were you the one who tried calling me earlier? Someone has been calling me and their number doesn't show up on my caller ID.

 

By the way she asked me to pick her up today because she was near my home and wanted to use the bathroom. Hmmm. I did. She stayed there for about 15 - 20 minutes and I made no moves on her. She kept asking questions about who I'm seeing. (She knows that I went out with someone.) She even said that there was a bond between us and 'jokingly' said that I'd better be ready for when she comes back. When we left my place she said that she was surprised that I made no attempts to try to kiss her. "Wow", she said and started touching me. She 'jokingly' said - "I'm sure you'll take me back if I decide to return".

 

This is a girl who is seeing someone else right now and broke up with me less than 3 weeks ago..

[metroman31]

Hey thanks for the hope. But i was thinking what would you do with the problem i am having now. please help out i would appreciate it.

My girlfriend broke up with me three weeks ago because I was getting jealous because she has a lot of boy friends(not boyfriends). She always told me to stop getting jealous or she'll leave me. I tried and tried to conquer my jealousy and i couldnt. And about a year after we got together, she dumped me. She couldnt take it any more and I know what i did wrong and since this has happened i know i can change my ways and not get jealous anymore. I asked her if we would ever get back together and she told me to show her that i am not getting jealous anymore and she would get back with me. We used to hang out together all the time and since then she has been around her friends all the time. But for these past 3 weeks I have been a wreck and a wimp. Everytime i get around her I start to get upset and cry because i want her back so much. I love her to death and even told her for a week that i was on the verge of commiting suicide because i am stupid and thought she meant taht she wouldnt want to get back with me ever. then she tells me that she likes one of her friends now, not that much though but just alittle bit but they hang out a lot well all of them do, but the guy she likes is always there. I have calmed down but now I dont know what to do. She tells me to move on and get over her and also said that she is going to move on and get over me and i dont want that to happen. I love her and I am trying to do everything to get her back but it doesnt seem to work. I see her every day in school and try to talk like we used to as friends but it doesnt work. Reading your article gave me hope and as soon as i read it I called her but she is out with her friends. I need advice, from anybody please. Please help me, i am so miserable right now.

[MC]

Metroman31,

 

Never ask her to get back together with you again. You're only pushing her further away and belittling yourself. If you want her back don't contact her. Let her miss you. Browse through this forum for lengthy discussions of this strategy and how it will benefit you.

[Ems31]

Yes that is a fine idea.. I really need the advice. hehe

[justice32]

dan u think u can hlep me. my g/f and i broke up cuz she got bored with me cuz all what we did was go to my house and go to hers. but i could change that easily. i miss her so much.i was a wimp and everything i even showed up at her door with flowers. and everything i begged for her back. she is talken to me and stuff now. like she tells me to call her and everything. she says it fun bein single and stuff cuz she out partyin and hangin with lots of people. she says she doesnt miss me and everything.i love her so much and want her back so bad. and do u think there is a chance? what should i do?

[octopus]

I hope you can help. What did you do? My bf just told me there's ni hope for us. Help.

[coooolsome]

If you go back and read danimal's posts, she ends up breaking up with him again. Just a FYI.

[Lil Punkin]

Wow I was thinking this was a NEW post. Yikes!!! Thanks for pointing that out Cool....

[selfi]

If you go back and read danimal's posts, she ends up breaking up with him again. Just a FYI.

 

 

thats so sad!

[Belgian girl]

Hello,

I've just read your story, sounds perfect

If you find the time and space, could you perhaps read my story and/or send a PM? Thank you and keep on doing the good work!

[annie24]

Hello,

I've just read your story, sounds perfect

If you find the time and space, could you perhaps read my story and/or send a PM? Thank you and keep on doing the good work!

 

as selfi said, if you continue reading the posts, you will find that danimal and his girlfriend wound up breaking up again and again and again.

[coooolsome]

Yes, he tries to use manipulation I think to get her back. The thing is, the only way to keep them is if they want to come back. Plus you shouldnt have to convince someone to love you. Its not worth it b/c then you will have to keep convincing them for the rest of your lives.