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The BellaDonna, Get off Your Ass Journal


BellaDonna

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She's always been a self-centered and rather immature person. I never felt the effects of it directly until now. For instance, she would always complain to me about things she thought were terrible: Like her brother not talking to her as much when he just got married, silly stories about work where I thought she was being ridiculous. This is the first time she's ever pulled it with me and directed it toward me.

 

The wedding is in April. I want to bail so badly! I have a hard time being excited about this wedding now. From this point on it will be like "putting my time in" until it is over.

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I do think I need to let her know that I can't be what she is trying to impose on me. I've decided I'm not replying to her e-mail until early November. It is ONLY October, as you mentioned. That is another reason it is so annoying. The idea of this sort of thing going on until April makes my head spin.

 

My husband's take on it is that I will probably regret it later if I bail because he knows I've been friends with her since 6th grade. He said "be the bigger person just so she can get through her wedding, then you can bail afterwards if you want. You'll look like the A H (instead of her ) if you do this now" He's probably right. I am so annoyed with her e-mail though. It had a tone worse than anything my own mother had used with me. I can't reply now. I have to take a step back and let it settle a bit so my response can be more planned and calm and true to myself without being mean or hurtful to her.

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I woke up this morning with a lot of motivation to start tracking food again. I'm going to the store today to stock up on fruits and veggies and healthy snack options. I'm going to track everything that I eat again. I have to stop the emotional eating before I get fat. I also have to be careful about my cholesterol.

 

I'm going to start doing some of my yoga DVD's. They will serve a dual purpose of keeping me in shape and relieving stress.

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Feeling good today. I'll be off to a LONG OVERDUE trip to the spa soon. I can't wait for the massage, as my neck is locked up like an iron vault.

 

I'm feeling good about work this week. 6 different clients e-mailed me such nice letters thanking me for helping them and that they decided they will not be dropping out of school afterall. yay

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Feeling good today. I'll be off to a LONG OVERDUE trip to the spa soon. I can't wait for the massage, as my neck is locked up like an iron vault.

 

I'm feeling good about work this week. 6 different clients e-mailed me such nice letters thanking me for helping them and that they decided they will not be dropping out of school afterall. yay

 

Wow that's incredible! I love thank yous. You must really be super at what you do (but we already knew that)! Have a fabulous time at the spa!

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  • 4 weeks later...

Burned lots of calories this weekend between cleaning the house and lugging bins of Christmas decorations up and down the stairs. The house is completely decked out now. I just have to put the ornaments on the tree.

 

Made a yummy low carb treat : Imitation Reese's peanut butter pie with: a reduced-fat pie crust, layered first with natural peanut butter and then sf/ff instant chocolate pudding mix. Takes only 5 minutes to make. That's my kind of recipe.

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My lack of exercise is making me feel like a blob. I just don't know how to fit it in. Wake up at 5:30am instead of 6:00am??? It just doesn't seem appealing.

 

Then when I get home from work I have a span of 2.5 hours to spend with my family before my son goes to bed. After that I start to relax. Definitely not time for a workout. lol

 

Ay, I have to figure something out.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I think my only option is my lunch time, as stated above.

 

I am supposed to have a lunch hour every day. I never take it. I always work through it and eat a rushed lunch at my desk. No one expects me to do this. ( I'm "the boss", and I don't give myself the lunch hour! lol)

 

My staff take their lunches.

 

Not taking lunch is something I do to myself so I can "get more work done". It's part of my Type A ways, and my desire not to have any unfinished tasks at the end of my work day.

 

I need to set a personal boundary and start taking my lunch time. What message am I sending about the value of my time to staff, if I am not taking my lunch? I need to prioritize my health and use the time to de-stress and recharge. I don't plan on doing any type of workout that will make me sweat a lot, as I have to return to work, but I can certainly take my sneakers with me and go for a 30 minute walk on a track that is right near my office. Then I can use the other remaining 30 minutes to eat my lunch- and I am going to try not to eat it at my desk.

 

I NEED to take that lunch hour. Thanks for the motivation, Firiel.

 

A 30 minute walk 5 times a week is a lot more exercise than I am getting now (zero) and I'm sure it will make a difference. It will also put me back in the "mode" of being active. When I am active I am more likely to make healthy food choices.

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Diet whining: I wish I could be hypotized to stop liking pizza all together. I really could eat a whole large pizza on my own. How unladylike! lol

 

These lean cuisine microvavable damn microscopic pizzas taste like crap.

 

I need to experiment with some healthy homemade pizza

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  • 1 month later...

I'm still alive!

 

I'm still over-working at work. Things should be getting a little better on that front soon though, with the addition of another staff person. One of my issues is that I take people's problems home with me. How can I forget someone who tells me they have no food, are sleeping on a pillow in a small spot on a the floor because their father is a hoarder and the house is packed with garbage, and that they can't concentrate in class because they have no sleep and no food. I was able to get him into emergency rapid re-housing, get him some food, and a social worker to help him further. He will be able to stay in his classes. So he is on a better path. Still how can I forget?

 

I have a lot on my mind when I come home each day.

 

My fitness has sucked. There is 2ft. of snow on the ground and I have not wanted to walk on the outdoor track as a result. My energy level is terrible. I get this way every winter though. One thing that makes me feel good it that it is slowly starting to stay lighter outside for longer. At least it is not pitch black when I get out of work. Daylight savings time will be here soon and I will feel even better and be able to play with my little guy outside.

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  • 1 month later...

I'm finally out of my winter funk. I'm into week two of a low carb, low calorie plan. I've lost 7 lbs so far. I've been using the MyPlate application on my iphone and I love it.

 

 

I really self-destructed with food over the winter and now I have to lose the 20lbs I've put on. I'm trying not to focus on how ridiculous it was to let myself get to this point, and I'm trying to be positive and move forward. I put it on quickly and I will get it off quickly with some willpower.

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Hi Sophie. I am basically using an eating plan similar to Phase 1 of the South Beach Diet which includes: lean protein (lean meat, beans, tofu), green veggies, low-fat dairy, and nuts. I do not eat any fruit yet or have any carbs. No starchy veggies.

 

This always works very quickly for me. Supposedly there is a blood test that can determine if you are genetically inclined to respond better to a low carb or low fat diet. I've learned through trial and error that low fat never works for me, but as soon as I go low carb I lose weight and my cholesterol goes down.

 

My problem is keeping the weight OFF over the winter- when I just want to hibernate and eat carbs and sweets as comfort food for my seasonal blues- I am also terrible at exercise in the winter. So every Spring I have to do this. Alas, here I am again. LOL

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It's hard to fight our biological instincts. It wasnt until the last 50 years or so in human evolution that there is do much food available. Our ancestors did have to eat any carb they saw in the winter because they never knew when they would see it again!

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  • 1 month later...

I've been MIA for a while but somehow in the process I managed to lose 12lbs. I still have a long way to go as far as being "fit" goes though. One thing I noticed is that my flexibility is terrible now so I have to get back to daily stretching and yoga poses.

 

I have lots of aches and pains and feel like an old lady.

 

I know a lot of it has been due to the fact that that the past several months have been extremely stressful between work demands and family loss. Stress does hurt physically and not just mentally. I have not woke up in the morning once feeling energized and without feeling like a stiff tinman. I've been cranky and irritable.

 

My husband has really been my rock during this time and I am thankful to have him. There is light at the end of the tunnel as I have requested a ton of vacation time this upcoming summer and look forward to some R&R and getting back to my usual self as far as energy levels go.

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