THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Moon711]

Just woke up/ Day 4

 

Yesterday I didn't post here. I didn't leave the house. Saturdays have always been difficult for me since the BU happened. I think yesterday was one of the first Saturdays I didn't cry. I though about him all day but at the same time I felt like I was dettaching. It was a weird feeling. I also kept thinking that just 2 weeks ago I was watching him sleep next to me, wondering if that will ever happen again. I just woke up knowing I had a bad dream about him but I don't remember it. Today I'll do something out of the house.

 

Good luck everyone!

[AlienQueen]

Day 13

 

Feel like I've had a set back, the guy I longed for doesn't want a relationship, I know its only been 2 weeks since I met him, an month and half since the BU so I have no right to expect anything, but I've realised that although I don't long for my ex, I'm not happy being single and long for a relationship, I still have some way to go before I feel happy in myself again.

[CovertCactus]

Day 24. Yesterday after I got home from work I took a nap and I had a dream that I contacted her and it didn't go well. I guess it's just a subconscious reminder to not speak to her. I just wish I was in a relationship so I could feel less lonely.

[AlienQueen]

Day 24. Yesterday after I got home from work I took a nap and I had a dream that I contacted her and it didn't go well. I guess it's just a subconscious reminder to not speak to her. I just wish I was in a relationship so I could feel less lonely.

 

Yes this is how I'm feeling, I know I have wait it out before I can have another relationship. Loneliness has to be the worst feeling, and all you can do is just keep facing it and feeling it before it fades away

[the dude91]

Day 1

 

Well I didn't think I'd be back here. A 5 year relationship that went on and off more times than I can remember with the most recent breakup before this one resulted in her leaving me for another man and eventually came back and had the best year and a half we've ever had to now her saying she loves me a lot but is no longer in love with me after our last fight. Last night after she texted me the break up message I stopped by her house to drop off some things because I thought she wasn't home. Turns out she was so I just left the stuff on her porch and left hoping I didn't wake her up. Then I got back home and had a marathon of Forgetting Sarah Marshall, the same movie that helped me get over her leaving me for another man. So this movie will be something of a daily thing for me as I re-evaluate my plans to not have her in them.

 

She also blocked me on Facebook which will make not checking up on her online very easy. For some reason I have these thoughts of her coming back again when I really shouldn't. I also don't really feel this time being as hard as last time, maybe because I just expected it to come to this and prepared myself mentally? Well hopefully NC will be better this time around, I didn't do so well last time and have learned my lesson from it. Hopefully my friend that comes over to spend the night will help me feel better. Well, here's the official start to my NC challenge.

[CovertCactus]

Yes this is how I'm feeling, I know I have wait it out before I can have another relationship. Loneliness has to be the worst feeling, and all you can do is just keep facing it and feeling it before it fades away

 

I found that having good friends and family to talk to really helps. I just don't go overboard with it and annoy them everyday. The only thing worse than the loneliness for me is knowing she fell in love in less than 2 weeks after leaving me with another guy and married him after a month. I don't understand how she could do that especially after she loved me for so long. That's the worst feeling ever.

[Moon711]

Day 4

 

Well, everything was going great today. I had lunch with my family and I went to the movies with some friends. But when I was leaving the mall I saw his car, and now I'm panicking thinking he was on a date! We used to go to the movies all the time. I thought I was doing better, but just seeing his car made me so nervous, and thinking that I could have run into him while he was with someone else makes me sick.

 

I want this to stop, I keep telling myself is over but there is still hope. How do I give up?

[windingwings]

Something happened today, we talked on skype for almost three hours, I basically told him to put on the ring and we talked about everything just to clear the air, then he wanted to know what would happen if we got back together. I explained everything to him even though I said this was the last time we would talk. He said he doesn't think this is the last time, and he said he'll be bothering me soon. I got the whole story about this rebound guy, the guy made the first move and he went with it, things got crazy and he realized stuff. I played our song and he started crying, like really ugly face crying. He looked sincere and I said we both got to move on. He said he doesn't want to let me go but I told him we have to. He asked when I'm leaving to Hawaii and I told him. Then said he thinks we're going to talk real soon..

[Hi Its Me]

Day 9

 

A feeling of absolute emptiness has taken over. She really isn't the person I thought I knew. I found a quote which states "Just like the moon, a part of everyone is always hidden" and this is so true as she is showing who and what she really is. I had a dream last night, very real, that she came back to me and we lived happily ever after. I woke up happy and excited only to realize it was just the last bit of hope leaving my heart. Absolute emptiness..

[Penguinkv]

Day 4

 

The longest time I will have ever gone without being in contact since we met all those years ago. I actually finding that the NC isn't too hard in terms of not reaching out. When I set myself a challenge/ goal I am very determined in meeting it. What is hard is all the things that are floating around in my head, the memories, the hope, not being able to accept. That is the tough part.

 

On the plus side, I woke up this morning and didn't burst into tears. This is progress.

 

I'm still really tired though. I fall asleep easily enough but I don't sleep well. I had a dream about a different ex last night which has surprised me. Don't know why I dreamed about him and not my most recent ex.

[Jimboboy]

After my period of 115 days NC, I am back at NC once again. Today is my start, so day 1 again. Feel free to read my NC diary right here;

[trying2bestrng]

Not sure what day it is.

My ex called me at least 10 times last night and left 3 voicemails. I am scared to listened to them. I know it will be him crying and drunk saying how lost he is without me. My heart cant take it. I will delete them without hearing what he had to say.

[jr22]

Today is day 5 and it's the longest we've gone since the short time we've known each other without contact. I feel better today than I did yesterday. Hey, each day is process. I miss her dearly and I'm still in love with her. This NC period is more for her than me seeing as I did the hurting. I'm really hoping that her anger will wear off after a 30-60 day NC period.

 

The first day of NC, which was Friday was absolutely brutal. I couldn't stop thinking about her. Wrote multiple letters and saved them in the notes of my iphone. I've now switched that to a daily journal and since Friday, the notes and amount of time I spend thinking about her has begin to shrunk and I'm using it as a coping mechanism. Also a self-improvement. I like to go back and read what I was thinking when I'm in these emotional states.

 

I can't control whether she is going to consider ever taking me back. All I can control from here on out is my actions, behavior and decisions. Today's goal is to be a better person than I was yesterday. I've set some goals for my work and I plan on giving myself a reward at 10 days NC. Each 10 day period I will give myself a reward... Sounds weird right? Hey, it gives me something to look forward to. Anyways, here's to another day of NC.

 

Always remember, nobody is alone. We all have our really messed up story as to why we are in this situation. Not all of us are going to get back together with our loves and some of us don't want to. But keep your head up and stay positive, it's the only way to come out of this alive. Until tomorrow.

[CovertCactus]

Day 25. I cried for a minute or 2 last night and now I feel good. I have a feeling today is going to be a good day. I'm going to keep putting in job applications and play some video games for the first time in forever.

[the dude91]

Day 2

 

Well its another day down. I'm surprised I haven't been crying nearly as much as last time. I'm still doing my Forgetting Sarah Marshal marathon, I'm guessing it's to remind myself that somebody better can come along. I also watched a video online about getting over a break-up, I learned to tell myself that it's over and she's not coming back. Not now, and not some time in the future. Her chapter in my life is done, it's time for me to let go and move on. I also made a list of things she did that wasn't very favorable in hopes it'll help knock her off the pedestal.

 

I also told a lady friend about my break-up and now she's flirting pretty hard with me. Not sure where to take that since I know it'd be a rebound for me. But perhaps it'll at least help me pass time and keep my mind off the ex? Don't know. Still hurts not having my ex with me anymore, I've been trying really hard not to think of the happy thoughts and replace them with the unhappy ones and trying to keep the thoughts of her coming back out of my head. It's hard and painful, but a different kind of difficulty than last time. 28 days left, but I think I'll make my challenge a 60 day challenge.

[TheGreatPotato]

You know, I'm bit actually sure how long I've been doing it now. Certainly more than 30 days, in fact probably close to 60. I might figure out how long it's been later, but I don't think it's that important. The question is, do I feel any different since I started? Overall, yes I do. I'd definitely recommend NC to anyone in a rough patch post breakup. That being said, it's not instant gratification. It's still hard from time to time, and I still miss her a lot.

 

I think that a lot of us start to think that once you hit that magic 30 days you'll feel instantly better, but sadly it doesn't work that way. Day 30 is just like day 29 and day 31. There is no instant cure, but a slow healing process. Good luck to all trying to heal. It's not easy, and it's not quick, but it will happen.

 

/ramble

[Penguinkv]

Day 5

 

Why are the mornings so much worse than the evenings? I wake up with such strong feelings of loss.

 

How are they such a huge part of our lives for so many years and then gone? I'm just left with the memories and confusion. I hate that I am likely not going to create any new memories with him. He will just become someone that I used to know.

 

How I feel right now, makes me think I cannot put myself out there in the future with anyone new. I cannot risk the chance of feeling how I do right now again. I feel like I would rather have a life on my own than risk hurting like this again.

[windingwings]

How long can you predict a 17-18 year old rebound to work with a 24 year old? I'm just wondering because I don't know if the love is real that he says they have, it's just been a month I don't get it.

[Hi Its Me]

Day 10 - Back to Day 1

 

Broke NC after she contacted me this morning..

 

Details in my last post here

 

Will go into NC again unless she calls/ messages with what I wish to hear..

[sadbutrue]

Day 103

I regret of having tried to change his mind about the breakup months ago. He must have thought that he is the center of the world. lol

...So naive.:suspicion:

[AlienQueen]

Day 15

 

Saw a photo of my ex on instagram, he looked awful, he hasn't been taking care of himself, I have no desire for him, no attraction, and no want of ever getting back with him feeling great

 

It's to early for another relationship as its only been a month and half, but I'm talking to a guy I rather like, so hopefully when I'm fully healed in 3-4 months time I will have got to know him well, and could be ready again! Feeling good about things

[trying2bestrng]

My ex's mom died. I feel like the biggest A Hole for not answering his 10 missed calls or listening to his voicemails!!!

 

I loved her and my heart is in a million pieces. I will be attending the funeral. M is NOT going to be happy about it but I will never forgive myself if I dont show support.

 

I would show support to even a neighbor that lost a family member.

 

I hope M understands but I have a feeling he wont..

[jr22]

Day 6

 

Again, today feels a bit better than day 5... The first 2 1/2 days of this were absolute misery and torture. I'm proud of myself as when I started NC, this seemed so out of reach. It's only 1/5 of the minimum amount of days I want to go before I contact her again, but I'll take any type of progress I can get.

 

I do indeed feel better. I have grieved and missed. My grief over us not being together is subsiding but I still miss her dearly. I just want to feel like 'me' again and I've begun that process with some personal goals. I've set some goals for my business to hit, I joined a local golf league so I can meet some new people, and I'm working out (slowly but surely). The most important thing that I'm doing during this process is keeping a daily journal. The first couple days, I used it to exhaust my feelings and emotions. Instead of texting her, I put it in my 'notes' on my iphone. I've kept this process going and am down to 1-2 entries a day. Lots of what I write is about her but it's becoming less concentrated on her and more concentrated on myself. On things I need to do better to become a better person. I'm using it as a self-improvement mechanism. I would very much like for us to be in each others lives again and if that's the case, I need to be a better person. If I don't get the opportunity to be in her life again, I will still remain a better person as that won't go away. I've learned that once you turn your focus to yourself rather than 'winning your ex back' your entire perspective changes.

 

Don't get me wrong, I have a very strong desire to get her back. If she contacted me right now, I would almost certainly cave because I'm still weak. But I'd much rather have the wounds healed and be in a better emotional state before I even talk to her again. That's it for today and here's to tomorrow being ONE FULL WEEK!

[CovertCactus]

Day 26. Not much to say. Just another day. I'm not really missing her right now. I would like to say I'm not missing her anymore but I'm probably going to in a few days. Emotions have a bad habit of coming back. For the moment though just thinking about contacting her sounds about as good as wiping my butt with sand paper. I'm going to forget about her and let her miss me for a change. I've got my own life to handle right now.

 

Why is this thread in the getting back together section? NC hasn't made her come back but I have healed a lot. I've been seriously doubting whether I would take her back or not. I started this with the intention of making her miss me and now I find myself wanting her less.

[the dude91]

Day 3 Pt1

 

Well last night was tough. Broke down and cried a little bit, I have a feeling I've shed more tears last night than she has this whole time. Still debating about spending time with the lady friend today, I will most likely end up doing it anyways. I started working out again which feels good although it's still not helping me sleep at all. I've started feeling like I don't want her back though, I simply can't trust her with my heart anymore but I'm not sure if I'm strong enough yet to actually stick by that thought if she were to come back right now.

 

I've also started debating on selling off her engagement/wedding rings. Any input on this would be great from you guys. One part of me says sell them and another part says it's just my emotions talking. But then again if she's not coming back what's the point in keeping them? Just to be a painful reminder to myself of life once was? To torture myself in thinking if she came back we could still use them because otherwise she might be deeply upset that I sold them? Why should I care about upsetting her in the first place when she has no problem telling me she loves me and that I'm the perfect guy for her one day and then leaves me the next? I wish I had more control over these emotions but maybe it's just today, guess I need to start up Forgetting Sarah Marshal until the lady friend comes over today.