CovertCactus

Great stories! I hope to share one someday.

That's just how women are. They will leave their ex and go for the next dude who is nothing like him. My ex married a guy who works part time at walmart, smokes cigarettes (she never liked smokers before), and lives with his parents. I guess that's about as opposite from me as she can get. They just don't want to be reminded of you and they think if they get someone who is nothing like you they will be happier. Even if it means dating or marrying some bum. I can't say it's just women who do that. I went out with a woman who is sane, mentally and emotionally mature, has a good job, ambitious, and smart. Basically the exact opposite of my ex. At least I can say I upgraded lol. Honestly I would treat that like a badge of honor. She can't find someone better than you so she gets some scrub instead. Even my ex said I am the best thing that ever happened to her and that was after we broke up and she was going to marry her husband. Maybe if you stay out of the picture long enough she will start to want you again. Women are more easily lead and blinded by emotions than men but eventually reality will set in. Sooner or later she will probably get disillusioned with this guy and start to think of you. Just make sure you keep up no contact. By the time she either wants you again you will have moved or you will be available. My ex said she never wanted to talk to me again and yesterday she sent me a friend request on facebook after over a month of no contact. I don't know if it means anything or not but I know she is thinking about me. If she truly cared about you at some point in the relationship will think about you too and may even slowly open the door to communication. I did all the mistakes you did too and a lot more. Don't be too upset that you can't stop thinking about her. I don't want my ex back but I still think about her a lot when I'm not doing anything. I guess you can never truly forget about someone you cared for. She is probably thinking about you too when her new bf isn't around. It becomes easier to push her out of your thoughts with time.

Day 30. A month ago I wanted my ex more than anything. Now I couldn't care less about her. It's definitely been a transformation. However it's taken 2 months to get here. I'm going to text her tomorrow just to prove to myself that I can do it and not feel anything about her. My brain abhors the idea of texting her. It's similar to be forced to talk to that one coworker or classmate you simply don't like for whatever reason. So if I don't do it tomorrow it's because I came up with an excuse to not do it. I really don't want to talk to her. When I do think about her I don't think about the cute face I once loved. I just see her the way I did the last time I saw her in person over a month ago. She had a bad hair cut and it looked like her face was getting fatter. My sexual attraction for her is gone too. With that being said I'm no longer counting the days after this. I'm over her. I don't need her and I don't want her. Good luck everyone.

How did it make you feel? Are you posting here for a high score or to help yourself heal?

Day 29. Another day I guess. Still don't miss her. The only thing I miss about her was that she was ok with the idea of bringing another woman in to the bedroom for a threesome. We never got to do it but that would have been awesome. Hopefully I will find another woman who is ok with a threesome. I wish I was rich. Then I could buy a nice house, car, and a wiener dog. Maybe I should try to live out my dreams. Oh wait this is supposed to be about emotional stuff. I think the day after tomorrow I will do my big test. I'm confident that I will be ok and not have any feelings about it. There is a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach. Oh wait that's just from not eating breakfast this morning. Actually it brings about mild feelings of disgust and anger but mostly because I'm pretty sure she is going to try her hot and cold bs again. It's not going to get to me though. As long as I don't miss her it's ok. Actually I just checked her facebook and it didn't bother me. She blocked me so I can't see any posts or anything but it still didn't bother me. The last time I checked I was so upset when I saw that she changed her last name but now I don't care. Actually I did notice I can no longer see if she is in a relationship. I used to be able to but now I can't. I'm not too familiar with facebook so does that mean she choose to hide it or she is no longer in a relationship? It seems odd for her to all of a sudden hide her relationship status like that when she used to be throwing her new relationship in my face after we broke up. The real question is do I have to practice my door slam? The magic 8 ball says maybe.

To answer your questions she dumped me. Basically you need to accept the reality of what has happened. It hurts like hell but it will help you so much. My ex isn't coming back ever. Well actually I think her marriage is a sham and she is going to be divorced by the end of the year but I can't ever take her back. If she loved me she would have came back by now. I made a lot of sacrifices for her and she still didn't come back. I have come to realize she isn't the amazing person I thought she was. She's immature, dumb, needy, and has no dreams or ambitions. I guess I always knew this but I was so blinded by love that I didn't care or I would make excuses for it. She left me and married a dead beat loser who still lives with his parents. The worse part is she married him after a month. I did so much for her and she still left me. She told me she had absolutely no feelings me anymore when she left. I didn't want to accept that. I was determined to win her back. I struggled emotionally for the past two months. I have finally accepted that I can't be with her. Not because she is married but because of what she has done. She strung me along during the break up and crushed me many times. If she actually loved me she wouldn't put me through this pain. I can't love or trust anyone who would do this to me. I can't love or trust someone who thinks it's ok to get married a month after the end of such a serious relationship. The month before she left me she wanted me to marry her. I wanted to but I wasn't ready yet. I guess it's a good thing I said no. I would either be in a bad marriage or getting divorced. I could never go back to her. I'm sure when her marriage ends she will come back to me but I owe it to myself to shut the door in her face. I can't let myself ever get hurt like that again. Now that I'm over her all that is left is a sort of emptiness. It's hard to describe. It's not bad and it's not good. I guess it's the feeling of acceptance and letting it all go. When you let something go you create a void. I wish I had another girlfriend living with me like my ex did but I know it's dangerous to jump in to a relationship like that. I guess now my new challenge is to not fill the void in a way that is unhealthy. Once you get to the acceptance stage that's when you will truly be healed. I feel ready to date again. I'm going to turn my life around and start taking better care of myself. I'm not doing this for her anymore. I'm doing this for me and the family I would like to start in the future. I know I can accomplish great things and I know I will find a woman who makes me happy and appreciates what I have to offer. More than anything I feel like I'm free from the ghost of my ex. She's not going to hold me back anymore. It's a wonderful feeling I know you guys will get there in due time. The only thing I can say is truly let him/her go. It's not easy and it took me a long time to do it but I got there. Don't be afraid of the void. Don't be afraid of the loss. Once you let go it will get a lot better. Don't cling to false hope. Accept them as gone from your life. They may come back but by that time you probably won't care anymore. Logically speaking I know my ex's feelings for this guy probably aren't real based on what she told me. I'm about 99% sure she will come back. I won't take her back though. The most she could ever be to me now is a friend but even that's doubtful.

Day 28. I think I'll text her in a few days to see if I get any emotional reaction out it. I think I could text her right now and not feel anything about it. Right now I feel like I'm better off without her and I could tell her to go fly a kite if she came back. I'm going to a wait a few days to make sure my emotions don't turn around and decide to start missing her. I want to see if I have actually healed or not. If I start missing her I'm going to stick to no contact.

Day 27. Still don't miss her. I do miss sex though.

Day 26. Not much to say. Just another day. I'm not really missing her right now. I would like to say I'm not missing her anymore but I'm probably going to in a few days. Emotions have a bad habit of coming back. For the moment though just thinking about contacting her sounds about as good as wiping my butt with sand paper. I'm going to forget about her and let her miss me for a change. I've got my own life to handle right now. Why is this thread in the getting back together section? NC hasn't made her come back but I have healed a lot. I've been seriously doubting whether I would take her back or not. I started this with the intention of making her miss me and now I find myself wanting her less.

Day 25. I cried for a minute or 2 last night and now I feel good. I have a feeling today is going to be a good day. I'm going to keep putting in job applications and play some video games for the first time in forever.

I found that having good friends and family to talk to really helps. I just don't go overboard with it and annoy them everyday. The only thing worse than the loneliness for me is knowing she fell in love in less than 2 weeks after leaving me with another guy and married him after a month. I don't understand how she could do that especially after she loved me for so long. That's the worst feeling ever.

Day 24. Yesterday after I got home from work I took a nap and I had a dream that I contacted her and it didn't go well. I guess it's just a subconscious reminder to not speak to her. I just wish I was in a relationship so I could feel less lonely.

Day 23. I nearly broke down last night and texted her. So many bad emotions hit like a ton of bricks. I didn't give in though. Today was a bad day as well. I just wish this would all stop.

Day 22. I had yet another dream about her last night. However this one was good. I dreamed that I got her pregnant. I didn't wake up feeling like crap for having that dream either. After we broke up I told her I always thought about getting her pregnant and she said she wanted a child with me too. I don't know why that dream made me feel good but it did. I'm a little sad that I can't get her pregnant now but I can't help but think that she had the same dream too. Maybe I'm just being an idiot. I was tempted a few times to tell her about the dream but I didn't. I do miss her though

Day 21. Had another dream about her last night. I just wish this would stop. It's bad enough I spend a lot of my day thinking about her. Being asleep used to be the only time I would be able to not think about her and now my nights are ruined too. This too shall pass. I've got more important things to worry about than her. In due time my life will be great again and she is going realize she made a huge mistake. In the end it's going to be up to you to turn your life around. What has been helping me is realizing that I can still live my life without my ex. I support myself, cook my own food, clean my own apartment, and still have fun without her. When I thought about that it helped me realize that life isn't over and that I will move on. I still think about her a lot but I know that I can still live my life without her. Realizing that you don't need her will boost your self esteem and improve your outlook on life. I'm still the same driven, strong, smart, independent man that I was before I met her. You are too. Start noticing your little accomplishments more and you will realize she won't bring you down forever. You will be back on your feet soon and she won't be holding you back. Your ex and other women are going to see this and will find you desirable. Knowing that there are other great women out there that are interested in me really helped me feel good again. It's not a good idea to cling to the false hope of rebound relationships failing. My ex moved in with a guy the night she left me and she married him after being with him for a month. They have been married about 2 weeks now. I was so sure it was just a rebound relationship and that it was going to fail. I'm still pretty sure their marriage will fail for several reasons one of them being that her husband is a dead beat loser with no money and still lives with his parents. I'm not going to sit around and wait for her to call and tell me prince charming is actually a toad. I'm going to work on my life and date other women. Anyways I would probably just go back to no contact if I were you. Talking to him isn't going to accomplish anything except remind you that he is happy with someone else. Talking to exes only brings back pain in my experience. If you keep talking to him you're only holding yourself back. Honestly I would probably unfriend him from facebook too. It's a lot easier to let go of someone when you don't have things around that remind you of them.

4 days isn't long. She is probably still feeling relieved that you haven't bothered her. I can assure you she wants to be left alone and she will make contact when she is ready. If she does want you back it will be in a few weeks or longer. It will take time for her to start missing you again but for now she is probably happy you are leaving her alone.

Day 20. At this point it's not really much of a challenge anymore. Sometimes I get an urge to text her but I get over it quickly. It has definitely gotten easier to stay out of contact as time goes on. The urges have gotten a lot weaker. I'm sure in a few weeks the urges will be few and far between if not gone completely. I'm still bouncing between hating her and missing her though. Recently I have been having dreams about her too. I usually don't remember them but I know they were bad. To those of you just starting your no contact challenge just stay tough and hang in there. It does get better over time. Some days will be harder than others but you will make it. I can promise you that talking to your ex will make you feel much worse than resisting the urge. I spent a month chasing after her and the pain and heartbreak of that month is a lot worse than 20 days of no contact. Honestly I feel a lot better now than I did 20 days ago. There is still more healing to be done but I know it's going to get better in time. It's never too late to start no contact because it's never too late to start healing.

Day 18. I hope she's miserable.