AlienQueen
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Post here instead of contacting your ex!
AlienQueen replied to Nynnja's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
Day 42 NC I'm feeling alot better emotionally, but those events replay in my head, and the fact you're still with this new girl who is nothing like me, doesn't add up, nore did your reasons for breaking up with me, don't know why you thought telling me I was the perfect GF would help anything, and why you still got rid of me anyway? I miss you everyday still, I hate that, I'm having to let go of our 2 years together, we were best friends for so long, you pursued me for 8 months, still will never get why in 2 weeks you could so easily break up with me. You're lashing out at my friends who mention me, you keep running away, I new you'd be too emotionally weak to be alone, even though you said you wanted to be single forever. I hope one day I get to sit down with you and ask what happened? but right now your 29 year old who acts with the immaturity of 16 year old, who are you? -
Day 31 i made 30 days of NC! Saw you with a new girl holding her hand, so not surprised, I new I would leave a horribly big void in your life you didn't see that coming, you also bet a friend you wouldnt get with her, but you're emotionally weak, this makes me sad, I hoped you'd work on improving yourself, but nope, I was going to send you a message saying hope everything is going well, but...I think another month of NC or even never maybe be better, good luck with this immature needy girl!
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Day 27, I feel surprisingly better, I've met my lowest point and I aint going back, Ive chosen to let go, I still think of you everyday but it doesnt bother me anymore. This freedom you wanted, is just you sitting at the pub all the time, I realised you were losing so much more than me, Im sorry you cant sort your life out, and that you live in this bubble. The fact you acted around my friends like nothing happened, just tells me youre in complete denial, I hope one day you'll wake up realise, there is more to life than your dead job, and going home and playing games, I see so much potential in you, and you've chosen to get rid of the last good thing in your life...me. I wish you happiness, you were there so much for me, wish I could be there for you, but you pushed me away. One day I hope to be friends with you again
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Post here instead of contacting your ex!
AlienQueen replied to Nynnja's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
Day 22 I was fine until now, I just want to call you and forgive you, and tell you that I get why you did what you did, because you just want the best for me, even if that means I can't be with you. And although you are with someone else, that I hope she makes you happ, I love you, and thats all I want for you..happiness -
Day 22 Had to turn down a friends birthday meal as hes going, none of my friends have really seen him since we broke up, I have no idea what I'll be told when they come back, pretty sure he's still seeing this other girl. In other news Im off for a date today, not sure how to feel!
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Day 17 I didnt want to be back here so soon, you helped me through my last break up, from day one, 2 months later you told me you were in love with me, I told you I wasnt ready, and you waited 8 months for me even though i pursued another guy who lead me on, you were still there for me, and I couldn't help it i fell in love with you. We had the most amazing relationship together, I new you so well, and you were ever afraid to talk to me about anything. A year and half later, you gave up on me, you said you didn't know what you wanted, you didn't see me as your lover, but I was the perfect gf, you decided in 2 weeks you were ok to give up on me. You didnt want to be with anyone, you left me for a week to decide that it was official and that you were going to have to lose all of me, as I couldn't offer being a friend. 10 days later you told me you'd met someone. You threw everything away, it felt like our past became meaningless, including our future together, you said we weren't going anywhere, but all i wanted was to go to Japan with you. I didnt want to pressure you into marriage or moving in together because I new you'd lived with someone before me who treated you like crap, all I wanted to do was give you life. But instead you chucked me away for a different model. I wish one day you'd realise what you've got rid of...because all I wanted to do was accept you for you are, and love you unconditionally, and now I have to let you go, because I love you...
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Conclusion Hey guys I made it to day 30, I did reply to his text on the 30th day, about future plans that needed to be sorted! Although I would recommend longer NC if you don't feel you'll be able to handle it, I did it knowing I was nearly over him anyway, and I'm planning coffee for a catch up nothing else. So how do I feel? well GREAT! I feel free, I don't feel obsessed, attached, I don't want him back, I realised that although I wanted us to carry on we both would of needed to change anyway. We weren't meant to be, and thats ok, I didn't want to hang on to us, if there was no us, I just wanted to get on with life. Very early on I made the CHOICE to move on, I emphasis on choice - you have to want to move on, say it out loud, tell your friends, anything to make that decision. It's been 2 months since the BU after a 3 year relationship, almost feel its wrong to have got this far haha! I continue to read ENA so I can help others, because I want you to see the light at the end of the dark cold tunnel. Sending my Love to all of you. Thankyou - I promise you'll make it
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Day 28 Found outfrom my exs best friend that he was wondering why I wasn't replying to his message, and that he was worried, he has another 2 days to wait It's going really well with this other guy, I am hesitating a bit though, it's still to early for anything, but hes so nice!
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Day 26 Had an odd dream last night, that I was holding on to 'facebook photo' of him as odd as it sounds, and I was crying, my interpretation is that I was holding onto a memory. Woke up fine thought not of it. Feeling ok about contacting him after the time is up. My thought is, if you love someone you will let them go...
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Exactly what my Ex wanted when we broke up, he told me I wasn't losing me, and that he still wanted to see me on my days off, go on day trips still, he still wanted to be there for me, which is uber confusing to be told because they don't want you as a lover anymore, they can't have those privilages with you. Maybe if it had been mutual we could of stayed 'close' friends as he put it. Bleh
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Day 24 Doing pretty good, starting new job, doing driving lessons, joined a modelling agency, potentially going on a date with a guy who I've spoke everyday for a month! got my ears pierced, hanging with new friends, joined Tinder (online dating app) realised how many fish are actually in the sea! Confident about meeting my ex in the future, not for reconciliation but just show him how much I've changed and moved forward, what he's got rid of etc.
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Day 22 He contacted me today, about our room at a future convention, he asked if I wanted to swap with someone - so we don't have to be in the same room, I haven't replied, I'm sticking to my 30 NC rule to the end, I'm planning to meet up with him with coffee to discuss things (Don't want reconciliation) when I contact him again. I felt mocked when he said he didn't want me getting upset, I guess it makes me feel weak. But he hasn't seen me, he doesn't know how far Ive moved forward. And he hasn't, hes just not kept good care of himself, a meet with him will be interesting...
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Day 20 Wow nearly 3 weeks tomorrow, think about him here and there, miss him rarely, I feel really good, trying to find a new job with more hours at the moment. Just gotta get through feeling a bit lonely, I love having a partner, got to get used to being with me again I guess
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Day 18 Having great times with my friends, I didn't realise how much I closed when I was with the ex, I'm letting new people into my life all the time, talking to the guy I like everyday Job trial tomorrow for a new job! Feels weird its nearing 2 months since BU, and I have no desire to get back with him ever, I will meet up with for coffee - to break the ice. I get the odd feeling of missing him, but it only lasts for a bit. Curious question, do women tend to get over there exs faster then men? seems general
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Day 15 Saw a photo of my ex on instagram, he looked awful, he hasn't been taking care of himself, I have no desire for him, no attraction, and no want of ever getting back with him feeling great It's to early for another relationship as its only been a month and half, but I'm talking to a guy I rather like, so hopefully when I'm fully healed in 3-4 months time I will have got to know him well, and could be ready again! Feeling good about things
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Yes this is how I'm feeling, I know I have wait it out before I can have another relationship. Loneliness has to be the worst feeling, and all you can do is just keep facing it and feeling it before it fades away
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Day 13 Feel like I've had a set back, the guy I longed for doesn't want a relationship, I know its only been 2 weeks since I met him, an month and half since the BU so I have no right to expect anything, but I've realised that although I don't long for my ex, I'm not happy being single and long for a relationship, I still have some way to go before I feel happy in myself again.
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day 12 Found myself longing for what I had, but it didn't last long, I'll gladly say that I have no desire to contact him, not sure I'd even take him back if he asked me, I will hopefully meet up with him for coffee in another 3 weeks or so, Also persuing the other guy I like, unfortunately he lives about 2 hours away, but I really like him.
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Day 10 Thinking of him less, don't feel attached or obsessive. Met someone I really like so my thoughts have moved on to him, I realise its only been a month and half since the BU, so to early for anyone else. I wonder how I will feel on the 30 day mark!
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Day 9 Still wake up missing him, and still get that physical heartache, but when I think about seeing him again it really panics me, probably because I felt like I went backwards last time I saw him. Long way to go before I can face him, but because of future plans I will have to see him mid May, will try and keep my NC going past 30 days
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Day 8 Stayed up chatting to a guy I really liked last night, my thoughts are on him at the moment, hoping to go on a date with him soon, I want to be careful though because I really don't want to use him as a rebound.
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Thats really awesome! I love having money for myself, my ex is always skint, when will he learn haha, but yer I still miss mine, only been a month and 1 week though
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I met my exs friend today, asked if my ex had asked after me on the weekend I didn't go to the meet, no one mentioned a thing, I should of expected it, but feel down now that he didn't ask after me. Feeling down today, finding things to do. Apparently hes ill after the meal they had, I'd usually be by his side, hope he misses me. I guy who breaks down when he breaks up you the first and second time, will probably not let go easily, as I already know he's not being doing well at all and hasn't changed, I see why a while between things are good. Some of my other friends have already seen change in me, so thats good, just hope the heartache will go soon, I need to be strong again in 2 months when I have to see him again
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Day 7 Just about...I'm feeling ok, I'm starting to realise why my relationship wasn't working, and hope that maybe a long break from it would actually be good, and if we dont then get back together then hopefully I will have accepted that fact by then. I'm finding its good to plan my days ahead so I have goal for each day. Also finally doing things I've never had the guts to do before, I'm 23 btw, came out of a 3 year relationship. So I've got a date for driving, getting my ears pierced, getting my new phone sorted - ex bought it before he left haha, just small things, hopefully when he sees me next he'll be very surprised! Of course this is for me, none of it forced.
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Day 6 Feeling down, he was at my friends, and didn't go, for some reason I hoped he'd contact me, feeling lonely, got work later hopefully that'll take my mind off things.