THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[mickydrip]

Haitianwen, ther is nothing wrong with you, people act different on situations, some make decisions they regret later on, some people are hurt but stay mature and respectful about it, it's just the way people act on these situations, keep an open mind.

 

It seems like he respects the decisions that are made and he wants to keep the peace by being mature and not hurtful!

 

 

SOrry to quote this. But Hey Njoy. Hope your keeping strong there man. i broke NC really bad and thats why i havent been on but i have now done a proper day of NC (though i still need to swap over things with her)

[NjoyStick]

Hey Mickeydrip, that's ok ^^ i'm still going strong, almost 2 months NC!

It happens, don't worry, we all have our weaker days, swap your stuff asap and get back into NC like a boss!

 

Breaking NC doesn't make you weak, it shows you still care and the fact that you are returning to NC only shows that you are strong, so keep on rolling bro!

[NjoyStick]

My dearest bro's and gal's of this awesome thread, if you feel like crap and want to have a good laugh, go to youtube and search for the video's of PewDiePie, that guy is funny, he makes video's of games that he plays and gives commentary on what he does, it always makes my days better!

[mickydrip]

ahh well i broke NC but it worked. thing is i kinda ****ed it up i mean after i ****ed it up we were agreed on space, we had met up and had a 3hr convo at the beach about this. this 2nd day in she was messaging me for 5 days straight. then that weekend she purposly came over to a friends house she knew i was at the told her i was there she didnt have to come in and she did she had dinner with a friend at 7 but was talking to me still at 8, she was just going to a girlfriends which she never would dress up for but she came around in a nice new dress and makeup (looked beautiful) she even agreed to dinner on the weekend downfall was that i kept saying the whole i love you but want you happy. she asked me what if i get married in 6 months i said well as long as she was happy. i gave her a example if she was with some piggish guy we knew if she was happy, she told me shed expect me to end that. so all i did was reinforce the friend and upset guy idea. then convo went bad and it ended in tears only after she left did i awake to these things. not meaning to upset her i messaged her the next day and told her 7.30 for dinner on saturday bringing out the im going to fight for her again like ive wanted to be and like i did when we first dated. no more mr firend. i was going to show her im a man i was going to take her to fancy dinner, give her a great night out and talk nothing of the past. told her this in the afternoon, much to my avail i heard an hour later (she also didnt reply) that she had been really upset that night and the next morning got herself a boyfriend...

 

Makes me think ****.... too late, too blind too idiotic ****. i hate myself

 

I have now told her my feelings on this and told her i know. that i would always be there for her but cant be the doormat or the other man in her life. told her i had to live my life, and she made me richer after cancelling some romantic things i had already paid for for us when we were dating

 

Hoping hes a rebound, and she will come to her senses soon and as hard as it will be im not going to talk to her. i just hope she see's soon im now a better person switched on not a mess and we could honestly have the best relationship ever. thoughts about her and this guy are killing me though..

[mickydrip]

[Neil123]

Of course send birthday wishes, just be prepared for silence back, or just a 'thanks'.I had an horrible day on my ex's birthday, but did send a text and I'm glad I did. To have ignored the day would have been childish.

 

 

Ok I sincerely apologise for still going on about this. It's just driving me bladdy crazy!

Actually leaning towards sending a text...late in the day to make her wait. She's in my (extended) friendship group, she knows me very well, we ended on good terms. She will KNOW I haven't moved on or just forgotten, she will just think i'm being childish. I think i'd look a far stronger man if I just sent her a basic 'thinking of you' text and then moving back to NC straight away and forgetting about it.

 

I understand that generally, if it's been a long time, she's moved on, or it was a bad break up, then it's best not to, but in this case I think it could be different.

[mickydrip]

Neil123 one thing ive noticed is alot of people do have great advice and you do have to listen to it. but point is not every relationship or person is the same and everyone is different. but then again you have to do in life what makes you happy. so if it makes you happy and you believe you should then do it. just dont go over the top, dont sound needy or desperate. just keep it cool casual but have some sincerity there.

[Neil123]

Neil123 one thing ive noticed is alot of people do have great advice and you do have to listen to it. but point is not every relationship or person is the same and everyone is different. but then again you have to do in life what makes you happy. so if it makes you happy and you believe you should then do it. just dont go over the top, dont sound needy or desperate. just keep it cool casual but have some sincerity there.

 

Yep! Generally the advice is always great, but like I said earlier, it's never gospel as you can't be totally objective over every relationship. From what i've read, alot of the break ups have been messy and the ex's don't deserve to think that you're thinking of them!

 

We ended it because we love each other but couldn't be happy. Yes, we're taking time out for ourselves, but we also left things open to being together again when the circumstances are better. She also doesn't necessarily want me gone, she actually wants to be friends and said she couldn't stand not talking, but I initiated NC. I actually think messaging her will be a nice gesture which she will appreciate rather than find annoying or clingy. Yes, if I don't text, she'll realise she's lost me and miss me, but I think she'll be pretty down that she's just getting a basic text when I should have been spoiling her on that day anyway. I think i'll look and feel better for texting and moving back to NC.

 

I'm thinking a text just saying "Just texting you to wish you a very happy birthday, I hope you have a great day! X"

[mickydrip]

Great text neil. i just wish my situation was so easy

 

But yeah definatly in that situation, that seems to be the best way

[skheehee]

End of Day 30

 

A month has passed. I know that she's having a blast with the new guy, but I know myself even better. I don't need someone else to be happy. I can be happy by MYSELF. Here's to brighter days ahead!

[Chinafish]

DAy 6,but not really. I officially suck at NC, I even ended up inviting him to the One Day International on 28th which I bought tickets for in a moment of madness last month.

 

TOmorrow is another day. I never initiate contact, but I do know I've got to start following through and ignoring him so I can heal.

 

Grrrr at myself.

[Karianne]

It's been almost a month of NC!!

I am doing better. I am feeling way better. NC really does work in getting YOURSELF back!!

I am focusing on myself and it's helped me tremendously. It's helping me get on my own path to happiness and just being content with who I am and how I am living.

Of course, I do miss him. Like today I had a striking moment of pain and it really caught me by surprise, how much I still care about you and really want to know how your life is going.

But you're not here anymore, so I will direct my attention elsewhere...

Hang in there guys, it gets better. After only a month of NC I'm already reaping its benefits.

 

Chinafish, it's okay. Just get back on that NC horse and keep looking forward! You can do this and I have utmost faith in you!

[Karianne]

end of day 30

 

a month has passed. I know that she's having a blast with the new guy, but i know myself even better. I don't need someone else to be happy. I can be happy by myself. Here's to brighter days ahead!

 

cheers skheehee!!

[ZhaoZilong5]

Day 7. NC honestly won't do much, because I'm one who looks into reasons and details when figuring things out. With that said, after talking to my best friend, I considered my ex's reasons for dumping me, and I can't figure out how to fix the distance without a lot of time. So I moved on a little more after talking to him.

 

However, now that I'm typing this, I feel somewhat annoyed that she loved me and we made all of these promises, but I guess she didn't love me enough to spend her life with me working through things. It makes me very distrustful of women, because I've been led on 11 times and cheated on once. All of this after them telling me how amazing and perfect I was.

 

In many ways, NC is worse for me than the benefits. I had actually done most of my moving on through LC. NC now is filling me with contempt, distrust for women, and egocentric. It's probably why my ex was beating around the bush for 4 months before asking me out. She had to end it when she fell for some other guy, since she knew how much I hated my ex before her for cheating on me. She "[didn't] want to end up being another cheating *****."

 

It might just be me though. I've been able to move on from more than half of my past relationships with constant contact.

[xmen777]

I feel better today. Still nothing from my ex. Wondering if I'll see her tonight. She's probably avoiding me too then.

I Think I will contact her tomorrow if there's no contact tonight. No begging, just hey what's going on in your life....

And yes, even with me NC is making me selfish. I wasn't like that. I'm less caring than I was before. Kind of I think

I was too much the caring type. Not sure I like these changes in me.

[Chinafish]

X777, couldn't you give it another couple of days? look, I'm not one to talk as I can't manage NC, but I never initiate contact. I think you'll feel amazing if you can hold out a little longer and maybe she'll contact you?

 

I'm feeling s**t today, don't know why. My ex is at a weeding today. I know Ie we were still together I'd be with him and I'd be unhappy. He'd drink too much, I'd be expected to drive, he'd be with all his friends he's known for years and I'd be ignored.

 

I spose I'm imagining he's taken new gf and is being loving and attentive. But that's not who he is.

 

So, to get back to topic, day one down, second attempt. Good luck all x

[Chinafish]

I wish SuperDave would get his arse and his Duck tape to me ASAP

[NjoyStick]

Still almost 2 months (2 days until) NC, i just drank 2 bottles of red wine and i'm feeling awesome!

 

I know everybody says that drugs and alcohol are a bad way of trying to get over situations like this and i agree at it's fullest!

It's a bad way!

But drinking and getting in a good mood from it is not a bad way, at this moment i'm not drunk but feeling pretty good from the wine and when i think about my ex i feel good!

 

This mood makes me realise that even though what she did to me she is still a human being and i still care for her.

Like i said before, it's her loss and not mine, i know what i am capable of and i'm capable of giving so much love, trust and understanding that any girl would be lucky to have me (lol my first arrogance ever).

 

We'll see what the futuere brings!

Better days are coming, not only to me but to you all!

 

I love you all, take the love i just gave to every single one of you and keep it, it's magic!

[skheehee]

End of Day 31

 

Sometimes I wonder why this thread is in the "Get back together" section of this forum. I mean, yeah, sometimes NC does make your ex come back, but the success stories are few and far between. I have all but given up hope on her, as she's in bed with her new guy right now as I'm typing this out. 3 years together, up in smoke and ashes just like that. As though I never existed.

 

Its ok. All will be well. I'll be alright. ALL OF YOU will be alright. We will come out of this together, stronger people than we were.

[skheehee]

Amen to that, Njoy. Love exists in all forms, from so many sources.

[xmen777]

X777, couldn't you give it another couple of days? look, I'm not one to talk as I can't manage NC, but I never initiate contact. I think you'll feel amazing if you can hold out a little longer and maybe she'll contact you?

 

I'm feeling s**t today, don't know why. My ex is at a weeding today. I know Ie we were still together I'd be with him and I'd be unhappy. He'd drink too much, I'd be expected to drive, he'd be with all his friends he's known for years and I'd be ignored.

 

I spose I'm imagining he's taken new gf and is being loving and attentive. But that's not who he is.

 

So, to get back to topic, day one down, second attempt. Good luck all x

 

That's what I was going to do. Then I saw her tonight - she came to one of my activities.

I went closer to where she was, as she hadn't noticed me before. Another girl came upon me and grabbed my arm, lol. Good. Then she (my ex) saw this and came to talk to me. We ended up agreeing to meet in a few days to talk about my trip (our trips?)...

Sounds good so far. I won't expect anything and if she wants to reconcile I'll ask for some days to think about it.

[cupcake22]

I miss you or I miss having someone....sometimes I have the sudden urge to contact you. Did I make the right choice? I do not want to live in regret, I think that is what I fear most.

[g3m1nn1]

Day 12,

 

so a couple more days went by, went to the beach for a few days, just windsurfing and trying to get my mind off things.

I am still not happy with my state of mind, too much thoughts that are keeping me from feeling at ease.

[mickydrip]

hmm going on 3rd day i guess. it was hard, especially when im not sure NC is the right course of action right now. i was offered a real good job offer today have a week to decide but i dont think i can take it. out of town another state away. even though i know its a great career move and i dont actually care about my career finances or money. i mean its a great oppurtunity but i dont think i could leave and be happy. i couldnt leave not knowing what will happen whats in store if i stay in town. If i was to leave there would be no chance of ever getting my ex back, even if there isnt i couldnt leave happy now. i wouldnt enjoy it and i would hate myself for it. i mean i have a real hold on my life right now, great standing perfect for our relationship to blossum and i could offer her so much if i had the chance to get her back. it was very hard not to contact her yesterday or today. and thinking about what the hell she is thinking or doing is still doing my head over. there has been some circumstances where i think she has the wrong end of the stick which id love to explain. id like to wish her warm wishes and just let her know im thinking about her....

[NjoyStick]

Micky, if you like the job then take it, the time to look in the past and thinking about what could have been is over, if she's the one for you then you'll get back together some way, some day.

What if you stay in your town and keep hoping that your ex would come back to you and it all fails?

Would you be sorry you didn't take the job?

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, if your ex still loves you then you should take that job and move away, cause that gives her a sign that you are moving on with your life and most exes don't like it when you move on and go further with your life.

If she's the one for you then she will panic once she finds out you are moving away.

 

Remember that it's a good thing to do new stuff, cause new stuff and new places don't have the memories of the past which haunt you and hurt alot.

Think about it Micky, i think you should stop living in the past and take the job!