THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[layla21]

Day 68

 

I am not sure about the day as I finally do not count anymore. I think I have reached some kind of acceptance by now. It has been a rough journey and I feel with you all.

My grieving process has been a rocky one but time, posting on this thread, journaling, going out with friends etc. has helped me a lot. NC was so difficult but you have to give yourself some milestones (e.g. one week, two weeks, 30 days) and eventually after reaching it, you will feel so motivated!

 

I have been messaging this guy for almost a month and it is fun - I am not sure if I am ready for anything serious at this stage but I like to just communicate (also boosts my confidence a bit). So I just keep it light and casual I am not hopeful or anything but I want to be completely over my ex in order to commit. He is still in my mind now and then, and I still miss him to some extent and wishes to communicate again, but it is not time yet. At least not for me to make the move. I shouldnt be the one to do so.

 

Anyway, I am looking forward to my next milestone which is 90 days. I think once I reach it, I get calmer and be less focused on my ex.

 

Keep it up guys. It will get better day by day.

[CBC2000]

Day 5 March 27, 2017.......... this is Day 5 for me, and it should've been day 8 if I didn't show up to his house un announced like a psycho begging for him to give me another chance and to hear me out. These 5 days haven't been easy, but everyday I get stronger. I decided to just delete all of my social media apps b/c he is on every single one of them and I'm not sure if I want to delete him or not just yet. I figured this is the perfect time for a social media detox and a great time to reevaluate my life.

[Havok20]

Been around 2 weeks no contact, a month today on the break up and i feel suicidal during the night it is terrible. I feel as if my whole world is gone .

[206Hope]

The NC for me did not work. I did NC for 90 days. I thought I would give him space and then found out on FB he is in another relationship. It was devastating. I thought he truly loved me and he even wanted a child. I just don't understand how he is already in another relationship?

[foofightingguy]

Broke contact 3 days ago with a drunk dial and follow-up text message. Stupid because I remember my ex's number by heart.

 

Never do this, people! (note to self too)

[Wolfshook]

I dont really know which day it is,last we "spoke" was in october.

 

I had a dream about her this night, I was so happy in this dream. And I woke up depressed once again. It's taking too long -.- .

[coffinqt]

Day 22:

 

Nothing's changed, but at least I'm happier.

[coffinqt]

Day 23:

 

In the homestretch. I don't know what to expect but I'm gonna keep going.

[CBC2000]

Day 7. I thought I was doing okay. I even woke up feeling alright, but I just found myself breaking down into tears. I don't have the urge to text him or call him, but part of me wants him to reach out to me. I know NC is for me and I'm really trying here, but I'm not seeing the light at the end of tunnel today. I never thought I would be the girl who would be writing on an online forum about my personal life, but I don't know how to deal with the emotional roller coaster and I need help.

[KMO7970]

Day 68

 

I am not sure about the day as I finally do not count anymore.

 

This is such a great feeling! Congrats to you for getting to this point. It can feel impossible in the early days or weeks.

[coffinqt]

Day 24:

 

Almost forgot to post. I've been working on myself this entire time so I do feel good about myself, despite my posts seeming like I'm dwelling on him. I love him and do want him back, but my self love is most important, and I'm glad to have worked on that.

[teresaa]

Hi!

I actually started this challenge before finding this thread, but I figure it will be useful to talk about it.

I am on Day 13 of no contact, the last contact I had with him was a text message, where I just expressed my feelings of wanting to be friends and work things out, he did not respond, so I figured I would give a month and see before I tried anything. So far it has been hard, I'm nervous a lot and I already get anxiety over this and so many other things but I've tried this before and broken it many times and I'm determined now, we've been broken up for 6 months by the end of this challenge. I really do want to work things out between us. Anyway, I saw him today, I knew he would be there but a friend of mine asked me to go so I didn't want to say no, but I said nothing to him, although I'm sure we both saw each other there but did not make eye contact.

[coffinqt]

Day 25:

 

I can't believe I made it this far. I still feel pretty good. Feelings have been consistent, so that's good.

[layla21]

This is such a great feeling! Congrats to you for getting to this point. It can feel impossible in the early days or weeks.

 

Around Day 72 ..

 

Thanks a lot KM07970! Yes, it is and I still cant believe I have actually reached the this point

I remember after the BU, I was literally counting every single daya and hoping to get back together; each day felt so long and I just felt miserable and couldnt concentrate at all during the day. He kept on taking over my mind and there were times when I almost contacted him but I somehow resisted because of the days I have reached.

 

The only enemy is seriously social media. I can recommend you guys to maybe to deactivate it at the beginning (e.g. just Facebook but not Messenger). I was annoyed with the ads and all anyway, so I deactivated my account and deleted both apps from my phone. My closest friends had Whatsapp so it wasn't a real problem. After a month, I downloaded Messenger again just to check on messages from others and kept it there until now .. during that time I still saw my ex being online and I thought about him talking to his rebound girl and it hit me but I didnt let it ruin my progress and deleted the "favorites" and "online" section of Messenger. Overall, I did everything to not see his activities! Yes, I could have blocked him but I am not someone who is doing that in general and I still consider him as someone who meant something to me in the past.

 

End of story - I have become less of a Facebook user and don't think about him that much anymore. Compared to the beginning of the BU, I feel so relieved. It is really funny reading all my recent posts on this thread again. Time really does heal guys, don't give up.

[KMO7970]

I'm on day 15. It's been a rough week. I have realized this, though: I am mourning the loss of our friendship MUCH more than I am mourning the loss of our more-than-friendship. We were friends for much longer, anyway. He told me shortly after the breakup that he does want for us to be friends again, but that we need time to heal from this before starting fresh. He hasn't reached out at all so I am not reaching out anymore, either. He knows how to get ahold of me and can talk to me if he wants. I just keep pushing forward.

[coffinqt]

Day 26:

 

I feel good but nervous. I guess I just kinda feel obligated to reach out to him at Day 30 to see how he's doing, but idk. I feel a lot better than I did before though.

[teresaa]

Day 14.

It's been 2 weeks, this is when I usually break and contact him, but I'm not this time. Even though I still see him a lot. It's rough. I really want to work to get him back into my life in some way, but I hope this will be good for both of us for the 30 or so days

[coffinqt]

Day 27:

 

Getting there.

[teresaa]

Day 15.

It's just getting harder now. A girl at my university died today and it just reminds me how precious life is even though I didn't know her at all. And spending this time away from him makes me feel like I'm wasting time even though I know it's necessary...

[coffinqt]

Broke NC Day 27:

 

I was so close, the closest I ever got, and it wasn't worth it. Not at all. Unblocked him and sent him two casual messages on FB just to see what would happen, both ignored. Sent him one on Instagram simply asking if he got my FB messages and how he's doing, and he hasn't read it yet. Oh god, this hurts. I don't know what to expect but it likely isn't good. He probably hates me and thinks I'm creepy, I'm sure.

[Glashalfulguy]

Ive literally stopped counting the days after like 40 or so..(il figure it out sumtime)

 

I personally think that most of us on this forum are actually trying to move on from our exes using the no contact rule. (like myself) but whats actually keeping me from thinking of her is not just what she did annd that i miss her is the fact that ive never "wrote" sumone of like this. This i think is the worst part..letting go entirely of this person that you used to love and hold. (literally acting as if they never existed) causes you to lie to urself day by day until you forget them entirely. It feels wrong in so many ways but YOU know that even seeing to them can ruin you all over again. its sickening but thats why they say love is like a drug.

 

I used to be somewhat of a "dont give a guy" but this girl made me weak. That is what keeps me going..the fact that i was a strong individual before. (judging by my past life with the worst childhood ever, i know im not alone in this one.)

 

I decided to type on this forum today cause a few days ago i ran into her mother.was a really nice and pleasant conversation we had. (her smile went down when i said i was doing fantastic in life right now) but today i almost ran into my ex. i was literally behind her and her mother infront of her. (she didnt see me, think her mother did though) but i stopped in my tracks in schock. Couldnt even think straight, turned around and walked out like a little (excuse me).

 

Although i havent seen her in about 2 months i still panic when i do. seeing that person you lived with right in front of you and she is a total stranger now.

 

How do you even forget about someone...

[CBC2000]

I believe today is day 13 for me, and I'm doing okay. I woke up feeling peaceful usually I wake up with anxiety, but today I woke up feeling great. I've stopped waiting for a phone call or a text from him. I'm accepting this situation for what it is. The important thing is that I can't let someone have that much power over my life. I've gained my appetite back and I'm going back to the gym today ☺

[coffinqt]

I don't know when I'm going to revisit this. He spoke to me yesterday, a day after I messaged him, and said he wasn't ignoring me, he just didn't know what to say when I reached back out to him. We made pleasant small talk. No talking today though. I honestly don't know what to expect, but I know better than to fall for any possible breadcrumbs.

[Trinity11]

Ex contacted me today. Last contact was back in Jan I think, broke up in Dec. Haven't opened the message although hes just asking how I am. For some reason it just makes me mad.

Not sure whether to even reply, i mean...i dont really have anything to say.

[bbogdanov]

I would not reply, although I know it's hard (I've given up many times)