THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[May10]

He texted me last night and I just texted him back so broke my NC again. I can't seem to get past day 1. So resetting the time. Tomorrow will be day 1. Feeling a bit feel better and calm.

[raindrop96]

He texted me last night and I just texted him back so broke my NC again. I can't seem to get past day 1. So resetting the time. Tomorrow will be day 1. Feeling a bit feel better and calm.

 

Hey, May, I can't send you a private message, so I just wanted to say that you should probably just speak to him calmly and tell him you guys need to stop talking for a while and see how you feel after that period. You need to give yourself some time to think about things, especially because he broke up with you without giving you a reason after 2 years. That's not exactly justified. Just my two cents on the topic.

 

Day 3 of challenge, day 4 since I sent him a letter that I got no reply to, day 8 without messaging/texting/talking/emailing. So I'm not sure which day of NC this is exactly.

Anyway, still crying once or twice a day, still missing him, but I think I'm slowly realising for the time being we can't be together and that I need to piece myself together and have a good summer... Hopefully in a few months I will have healed and he will have realised we let go of something that was working perfectly, and we would be on our way to getting back together. I'm trying not to hold on to this hope, since we said we would maybe try if the circumstances are right after I come back from Spain, which is in a year and a half, and that's so far in the future, I'd like to know faster than that if we have a future together or not... So in 4 months I'll reach out if he hasn't yet.

[May10]

Hey, May, I can't send you a private message, so I just wanted to say that you should probably just speak to him calmly and tell him you guys need to stop talking for a while and see how you feel after that period. You need to give yourself some time to think about things, especially because he broke up with you without giving you a reason after 2 years. That's not exactly justified. Just my two cents on the topic.

 

Day 3 of challenge, day 4 since I sent him a letter that I got no reply to, day 8 without messaging/texting/talking/emailing. So I'm not sure which day of NC this is exactly.

Anyway, still crying once or twice a day, still missing him, but I think I'm slowly realising for the time being we can't be together and that I need to piece myself together and have a good summer... Hopefully in a few months I will have healed and he will have realised we let go of something that was working perfectly, and we would be on our way to getting back together. I'm trying not to hold on to this hope, since we said we would maybe try if the circumstances are right after I come back from Spain, which is in a year and a half, and that's so far in the future, I'd like to know faster than that if we have a future together or not... So in 4 months I'll reach out if he hasn't yet.

 

Hey I couldn't private message you either. Yeah texting is not helping. After I texted him back last night I feel horrible because I keep waiting for his text back. He didn't reply back so I guess it's a good thing. If he texts me back then I think I will just ignore it or talk to him and ask him to stop for awhile. That's what hurt me the most too. After two years, he just called and ended saying it's not working out and he hasn't been happy recently. I have no clue what happened. He didn't even think it was important to discuss with me. Till night before he was saying he loves me and misses me. I tried to call back 2 days after breakup and he still didn't give me a reason but he said he is 100% sure about his decision.

 

That's great, you are already in Day 4 and day 8 without text or call. That's good that you are slowly realizing that for time being you need to focus on yourself. Hopefully in 4 months, things work out for you and you guys get back together.

 

I thought I was doing better (but probably because he was texting me so I had hope). Almost 2 week from break up and I am still having hard time to process that it's over. I keep dreaming about him. Today I dreamt about him. I dreamt that I went to meet him in Hawaii and he is already dating someone from work and that was the reason he broke up with me. Day 1 of NC and it's already a very emotional start. I want to do NC for a month and longer if I can and after that want to call him. I hope we will get back together or atleast he has clear his head and I can finally get an answer why he broke up.

[raindrop96]

I think it has something to do with how many posts I've got, cuz they are not many, so maybe later we'd be able to message

 

Day 5 of me not reaching out, day 9 of not actually hearing from him. It was an okay day today, cried a bit, but mostly it was okay because the weather was really nice. I really want to work on myself and let him go. They say 'if you love them, let them go. If they come back, they're yours forever.' Hopefully that's the truth in my case as well. Really trying to let him go, set him and myself free, wish him all the best healthwise and happiness wise. Hopefully it works out for the best.

 

I think we both should really try to focus on ourselves and not when we are going to be able to break NC. As in I know right now this is the end goal for both of us, but maybe we should not think about it and let it go, and see how long we can go without doing it. I've read on here people actually recommend at least 2 months before contact so that you can be composed and also not as in love as before and more able to think straight. Let's see. I am glad there is a person here as well who knows what it's like, May10. all the best to you! I hope it starts getting easier with time.

[May10]

I think it has something to do with how many posts I've got, cuz they are not many, so maybe later we'd be able to message

 

Day 5 of me not reaching out, day 9 of not actually hearing from him. It was an okay day today, cried a bit, but mostly it was okay because the weather was really nice. I really want to work on myself and let him go. They say 'if you love them, let them go. If they come back, they're yours forever.' Hopefully that's the truth in my case as well. Really trying to let him go, set him and myself free, wish him all the best healthwise and happiness wise. Hopefully it works out for the best.

 

I think we both should really try to focus on ourselves and not when we are going to be able to break NC. As in I know right now this is the end goal for both of us, but maybe we should not think about it and let it go, and see how long we can go without doing it. I've read on here people actually recommend at least 2 months before contact so that you can be composed and also not as in love as before and more able to think straight. Let's see. I am glad there is a person here as well who knows what it's like, May10. all the best to you! I hope it starts getting easier with time.

 

Oh maybe, hopefully later we can

 

Yay day 5 done for you and will be starting day 6. It's understandable and normal to cry a little. That's a good way to think. Just to let them be and hope they come back if they really love you.

 

Yeah I agree so far my goal has been just to reach atleast 30 days so I can break my NC. I can't wait to talk to him and at the same time scared that he won't reply back or pick up my call. Yeah I have been reading other forum on getting back together or other's NC log and seems like it does take a while. 2 months seem so far, so hope I can be strong enough.

 

I have been trying to focus on myself and keep myself busy but it's a struggle. I still keep trying to figure out what went wrong or what I could have done better. Maybe meeting my parents scared him, so he broke up after a month of meeting them. Or maybe he is stressed from work and I was being to clingy and complaining about time differences.

 

Yeah I am glad too, it's nice to talk here with someone who actually understands what you are going through. I hang out with my friends and they all mean well, but they just expect you to get over it and move on immediately.

 

Thank you and best of luck to you as well. Day 1 is almost over for me and it was a struggle. Cried a little in morning but rest of day was okay. I too hope that it will get easier with time.

[raindrop96]

It will definitely get easier with time... Sadly we can't really do anything but wait. Our biggest source of comfort is sadly the source of this discomfort right now, and we have to let it go... And let time do its trick. Friends do try to help but yeah... My friends didn't even know him because I study abroad so there wasn't a way for them to meet, so they keep blaming him so much and making him into the devil and it makes me really sad... I hope you get your answers, stay strong and hopefully NC.

 

Day 6/day 10.

Mornings are the worst. I wake up and try to stay asleep, because when I'm in that state, I can imagine the time after 4 months or even after a year and a half when things will have magically improved, and it seems soon, like not much time at all. I see our first time seeing each other and him staring at me, unable to do anything else, I hear our witty conversations, him admitting he was a fool, him fighting for me.. I don't know if it's unhealthy, but when you're half asleep, it seems like the time will pass much faster and it will suddenly be time to come back here and the opportunity will be there for the taking... Much like when you're sleeping, time will go fast.. But once awake, it seems so daunting. I can't see myself forgetting how amazing he was... I can't imagine anyone topping that and I don't want to, I just want him back...

 

Today is going to be a struggle.

[May10]

Yeah nothing much to do then just wait. It's a torture. Yeah they don't realize that painting him as a devil person doesn't help you much. Because he is not and you still love him. I really hope so I get it too, it's very hard to move on without knowing the reason. I have so many 'what if' in my head that makes it harder. Yeah trying to stick with NC. He had asked me space and time not to get back together but just to talk and that's all I can do and hope he will open up after that.

 

Yeah waking up in morning is hard. I just want to lay in bed and not wake up because time passes easier when you are half asleep. And after I wake up I cannot wait for the day to end so I can sleep.

 

It will be 2 weeks since the break up. And that call keeps playing in my head. I asked you about your flight and you said you need to talk. "This is not working out for me, I haven't been happy recently and have been thinking about it for awhile". It was so easy for you to end it and expect me to understand you. That's all I have been thinking about today. I keep wanting to call you but I know it will hurt me even more and I will just cry. It's been 11 days since I heard your voice and I really miss you.

 

Day 2 of NC, it is very hard and emotional day

[12Network]

Today is day 5 since we've spoken, day 1 since we emailed about the apartment. It's so frustrating because I have to email him again tomorrow about the apartment. And then I'll have to email him at the end of June and then I'll have to see him in July and then I can go no contact. I just want to email him and say you know what come get your stuff or I'm giving it all away but part of me is scared that if I'm mean to him he'll never come back. I know I shouldn't care, I should only focus on me but I still hope.

 

It just seems so unfair that he's treated me so poorly and he gets off scot free while I am in pain. Part of me wants to email his family and tell them that he cheated on me and broke up with me and dropped out of school to be with her, and just so you know he's a terrible person.

[raindrop96]

Day 7/ day 11

 

I was having a good day, didn't cry in the morning or anything, I was busy packing, but in the afternoon I had another breakdown. People keep saying I have to move on and if fate decides, we will be together again, or I will be with someone else, or I will be alone and happy. I want to forget him, but also not forget him, I'm afraid he will forget me too and he won't reach out ever again. I'm afraid this was our only shot and we just got 6 months of bliss and that's all... I don't know how to move on, guys. Is it going to stop hurting? Will I stop loving him, or will I just push it to the back of my mind and forever hope something will happen between us again? If I speak to him in 2 months, do we even have a chance? Should I even try, considering he broke up with me because of the distance and the distance won't be gone then yet... I hate this.

[May10]

Day 7/ day 11

 

I was having a good day, didn't cry in the morning or anything, I was busy packing, but in the afternoon I had another breakdown. People keep saying I have to move on and if fate decides, we will be together again, or I will be with someone else, or I will be alone and happy. I want to forget him, but also not forget him, I'm afraid he will forget me too and he won't reach out ever again. I'm afraid this was our only shot and we just got 6 months of bliss and that's all... I don't know how to move on, guys. Is it going to stop hurting? Will I stop loving him, or will I just push it to the back of my mind and forever hope something will happen between us again? If I speak to him in 2 months, do we even have a chance? Should I even try, considering he broke up with me because of the distance and the distance won't be gone then yet... I hate this.

 

2 day of NC was hard and emotional. Today is 3 and I do not see it getting any better.

 

 

I totally understand that feeling. All my friend kept saying the same thing. Just forget about him and move on. You deserve so much better, you do not need him to be happy.

 

I wish I could just skip these month. I wish I could forget him too but I don't want too. I still love him and keep remembering all the time we spend together. I am afraid that he will forget me too, I keep dreaming that he is not coming back and when I wake up it feels so lonely and empty. I keep thinking that he is not going to reach out to me and since it's long distance he will just forget me. There is no reason for him to visit here...or no reason left to call me. Will he miss me during his NC or feel relief that he doesn't have to call me anymore? After NC if I call him, will he even brother picking up my call or just ignore me?

[12Network]

Day 6 NC (Day 3 no administrative emails). I have started seeing a therapist, so I met with her this morning. I don't know if it's helping.... I just want him to miss me and realize he made a mistake and he misses me...

 

I know how you feel! Sometimes I wake up and think I'm finally making progress and then something will happen that will remind me of him and it will just go donwnhill. People keep saying the same thing about how you just have to let it go and either it will work out or you'll get over it and be ok... but it's not that easy is it?

 

It's been almost 9 weeks since we've broken up and while it is still really hard I think it is getting better. I think I'm learning how to let go without letting go of hope. I am working on moving forward with my life and trying to be happy again without shutting the door completely. That is, how do I move on and be happy so that if he doesn't come back I'll be ok but if he does the door is still ajar that we could work it out. It's a hard line to walk.

[May10]

End of day 3. I wish it got easier as the time goes by. It is still fresh and painful...cannot get you out of my mind.

[raindrop96]

Day 8/12

 

It's just before noon so I'm not sure how this day will pan out. Mornings are still the saddest part. I can hardly stop myself from crying. If I have something to do, it generally can distract me, but I still find myself thinking about what could happen in the future way too often, and getting sad about it not being the future yet so that I know what's going on and I could move on if there's nothing for us left. I started a book to help me cope with the sadness and I've been trying to keep more positive and trying to have good thoughts, but it's hard. Hopefully no crying today, it's time that I stop, but I don't know yet.

 

Have a good day, May10 and PCNetwork!

[May10]

It's been 2 weeks since I heard your voice and heard you say you love me and miss me. I wish I could hear that again.

 

Day 4 of NC, so far it has been better than other days. I didn't dream of you so that's good. Being with group of people has been helpful but still feel lonely and watching my friends with their partner makes me miss you even more. I feel so tired from crying for you but still from time to time I can't help it.

 

Thank you Raindrop96. Hope you and PCNetwork have a good day too.

[12Network]

Day 7 of NC. Tomorrow will be 9 weeks since we broke up. I've noticed it's a different kind of sad now. It's no longer can't get out of bed, crying so hard you can't breath. Instead it's just a constant overwhelming unhappiness with occasional, more manageable, tears. I'm going through the motions, doing everything I'm suppose to - working out, new hobbies, seeing a psychologist, spending time with friends and family. I don't know if this is better, it doesn't feel like I'm getting over it, just learning how to get on with my life. I still check my phone every morning, more out of habit now than any actual hope that you will have messaged me. I still think about you all the time and miss you constantly.

 

I've also started to accept that you're not going to come back, that you're happier with her, even if I don't understand it. My heart breaks every time I think of you with her. I just miss you.

[Htxnaija]

Day 7 NC - trying to find things to fill my time but every small thing reminds me of him. Haven't cried in a week so that is good. More and more I have the thought that I will be ok without him and actually had a thought about future plans that don't involve him. Keeping strong as possible but still miss him severely.

[IAmFCA]

Not a break up. Not even a relationship. Just my brain traveling an uncertain path. A redirect in my brain. Need to make it go straight. So- tomorrow- 1.

 

Day 2. Graduation intervened.

[figureitout23]

Day 1. Im super pissed I'm starting this on a nice long holiday weekend because instead of enjoying the weekend it's going to be hard since I'm going to have zero motivation... oh well I have a date on Monday... I'm not excited about it, but I'm open to it. I will push myself to at least be productive this weekend.

[Thani]

Day 1 of NC. I hope I can make this. After 3 months of "i can't choose between you and her" and "I would love a life with you, but my heart is taken at the moment" I can't do this anymore.

I know that we have to organize some stuff during the next few weeks (apartement, car), but I hope we can keep this as short as possible.

 

I hope I stay strong!

[12Network]

9 weeks since break up, 8 days of NC, 1 day since administrative email.

[raindrop96]

Day 9/13

 

Second day that I haven't cried so far, almost did, but held it together. It's getting easier faster than I expected, I do miss him so much, but I can laugh and forget about it for a bit, which is nice. I can't imagine us not being together again, so I think that's why it's becoming easier. I'm bracing myself with patience to wait out the being abroad. I am trying to have faith in this and it's not too bad

[IAmFCA]

I wish I had been more moderate in my exit. Or maybe I was. I really don't know how it was received.

 

Anyway. I wish I could invite him over for a glass of wine. My home is more comfortable for me then it has been in years. I wish he could see the forward motion.

 

(3)

[May10]

15 day since we last talk on the phone. End of 5 NC. Today is the only day I didn't cry at all so I am happy. It was easier today because I am on a trip with my friends. I still missed you a lot but my mind was occupied with other activities so didn't have much time to think. Monday, it will very very lonely after everyone lease.

[Htxnaija]

Day 8 complete. A real up and down day. Kept going over all the mistakes I made during the breakup (begging, crying, and calling). Kicking myself for being so weak.

[Thani]

Aaand...back to day one, I guess. He couldn't even resist for 24 hours.

He wrote me this morning because he wanted to meet this afternoon and talk about something to "ease" my pain. I should have ignored him, but wrote him back. Only declining his "offer" and wishing him a good drive. I'm proud that I could resist the meeting, but still...

 

 

Day 1 again