THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Honeybal]

Day 54

 

I know that almost everyone here wants their ex back but seriously guys, why would you want someone who walks away from you so easily? Don't worry, I ask myself the same question. i want someone who will fight for me who will come to my house and face me and ask for forgiveness. i want someone who will love me no matter what. i don't want to be with someone whose acts like a five year old whenever I need to go to work, throwing tantrums. THen goes out with another person and turning it around saying i'm the needy one? F that! i want a grown-up, I'm sick of playing mommy to this piece of sht. No matter how sad I am, I know what I'm worth and I am not going back!

[Valenciao]

Okay, just joined, I NEED this challenge. Day 1. Well technically I'm on day 3. I'm pretty impulsive and tend to want to text just to text and start something up...but when he lag's by a day, two, or more and finally texts an uninteresting response I cycle through disappointed to pissed to regretful to reasonable then back to spontaneous...thinking I should text because why not...maybe he was just having an off moment?

 

I often wonder why many people can't just say, no thanks, I won't be contacting you anymore, I'm moving on, see ya! Then you know there's closure instead of this fire that dies down because nobody's tending to it and it just smolders there waiting for some fuel.

 

So yeah. Day 1-ish.

[Honeybal]

Day 55

 

Yey! 5 more days to 60! And to forever! I decided that I will never contact him ever again. I am moving on for good.

[TiredOfDating]

Day 17. I want to go back to the first 10 days where I was fine. I'm sitting here talking myself out of texting him.

[lolita]

Boy ! can't believe it's day 40!

I m missing him like crazy. I can't cry but I wish I could! I wish I could relieve all these tentions ! But I listen to the "i will survive song " and it brings me strength how cheesy it might sounds ! Hard night tonight ... courage for the weekend everyone

[TiredOfDating]

Day 18. I caved. I called but hung up right away. If he asks, I'll make up some lame ass excuse. Kinda bothers me he HASN'T asked but it could be it didn't go through.

[Honeybal]

Day 56

 

Exhausted from school. i hate school days. I always get very tired and when Im tired I feel depressed and cry. I should go to bed early. I keep reminding myself that my ex is stupid and I am better off without him. Things happen for a reason, even if you don't know the reason yet.

[Honeybal]

Day 57!

 

Weeee 3 more days! I was wondering if I should keep counting till 90 but whats the point if I have no intention of reaching out ever again. I couldnt sleep at all last night. I'm too good at stalking social media. I just hope this pain reminds me to stop looking becaus I only hurt myself. Also, you guys should google limerence! I realized I've had this all my life, it explains the obssessive thoughts, and I'm glad I know about it now.

[TiredOfDating]

Day 19. Since I didn't technically talk to him, I am still counting vs starting over.

 

But he has a new FB friend. She's a single mother. And now every horrible scenario is running through my head.

[layla21]

Day 40 (round 3)

 

Wow, managed already 40 days. Still weird though.

 

I know must of us here are dumpees - do you also sometimes wish they contact you during this time?

I don't see why I should be the one and am def not contacting him after everything he has done but deep down I wish he would message me at some point. Maybe not for reconcilation but maybe to get a "sorry"? Or some message showing he is thinking about me?

 

It is not worth stressing myself out with this thought but it keeps on coming.

[bbogdanov]

I think it is normal - I also sometimes wish my ex contact me but I don't think it will ever happen and I don't think there is a point in it either? Maybe it's just a "natural" thought to have, but I get it more and more rarely as the time passes by.

[luisannalui]

Day 57!

 

Weeee 3 more days! I was wondering if I should keep counting till 90 but whats the point if I have no intention of reaching out ever again. I couldnt sleep at all last night. I'm too good at stalking social media. I just hope this pain reminds me to stop looking becaus I only hurt myself. Also, you guys should google limerence! I realized I've had this all my life, it explains the obssessive thoughts, and I'm glad I know about it now.

 

Same here. I can't stop stalking my ex social media. This still brings me down. She's the first thing that comes to my mind. I'm going to stop doing it, let's see how long I last. Good luck.

[lolita]

42 Days!

 

Time flies that's crazy and getting a little stronger every day! Like you guys I do stalk him a little well whatever is possible to see . But its useless because I don't really know what he is up to nowadays, if he is doing good with his recovery, if he has a job now, moved out from his mom... a friend of mine told me she used to date what she called a looser many many years ago, the guy was in a pretty much similar situation as my ex.. well she said she had heard from him no long ago and he still in the same situation. So that comfort me a little to know that the problem wasn't me but him! That in the event he would have find a rebound it wouldn't last.

But still it hurt to know that he lives so close to me and he never had the desire to pass by even just to see how I was doing in my new place or to simply pick up his clothes! I think if I do not hear from him after 6 month I will give his cloth away to the homeless of my street.

The new guy I m talking with his a total wack ! We keep talking for freaking long hours! last time was until 7am! He literally a great entertainment and it helps me to not think about my ex but at the same time I m really scared I would get attached and fall again for the wrong person and repeat the same mistakes and get my feeling crushed once again!

[Honeybal]

Day 58

 

Been feeling really sad and missing him. I think it's normal that we wish they would contact us, but it's an exercise in futility to figure out what they feel and think so don't dwell on it. I'm busy trying to get over him and I'm reading books on moving on and how to be a better partner once I do find the right person who will appreciate me for who I am. I've already spent 4 years of my life on this person and in those 4 years his situation has not changed because he's too busy feeling sorry for himself. In the meantime, i was promoted, I got a new car, I finished my bachelors and started my masters, bought a house, traveled, and in those four years he has not had much progress. I hate to say it but he is a loser, and maybe i was a loser for falling for him. I love him but I want to move on, I want to be with someone who adds to my life, not takes from it. And I don't think he will ever be that person.

[layla21]

Day 41

 

Yes, I know you guys are right about this longing being normal but recently, I ask this myself so many times even though I dont want to and stop myself. Feels like I am experiencing a delayed grief post BU moment (after the good anger stage) since yesterday. I am still sad, miss him so much and I just realized yesterday that I am still in love with him (what a setback for moving on) ...

 

Truth be told, I dont think I will ever get a message or a just a mere "sorry" because I dont see him admitting to his part of the breakup and post-breakup. He hurt me so much and it is frustrating that some ppl just dont get it to what extent they hurt others. Well, that's the moving on process and I knew it's not going to be easy.

 

Still sitting for my studies and trying to put all my energy into that right now..

[Honeybal]

I broke no contact today but for a good cause. I was holding onto some of his things maybe as a reason to contact him in the future but I decided I really want to move on despite how I feel because he is really not the person for me. It took me awhile to accept this but I'm slowly getting there and I thought if I was serious about moving on I should give up his things and just return them already. So I drove over his house with the intention of leaving it at his door and calling to tell him so that the stuff doesn't get lost, but as I got there just my luck that he just got home and he was getting out of his car. So i said whatever and handed him the stuff saying that it had some important stuff. i heard him saying thank you but I was already heading to my car to leave. And that was it. It's finally over for good. I feel numb. But I know this is the best for me. Goodluck to you guys, and I hope you find happiness and peace. I think I will be okay now.

[lolita]

Wow Honeybal

 

I m so proud of you!! It must have been so difficult for you to see him. You did well to leave before he started to engage a conversation! I thought of contacting him again about his clothes too but I wont be able to face him still. I will be scared to get the wound where I ve buried all my feelings opening up again, letting all these pain coming out again. Plus I don't think about him as often I used to do. Its like sometimes I force myself to think about him. Honeybal maybe your ex by being caught by surprise by you and you showing determination and that you really moved on might trigger him to recontact you... so be ready for it . It might not happen or it might. I m on 45 Days now and maybe on route for the rest of my life. Good luck to you if you won't come back to the forum anymore. Best wishes !

[TiredOfDating]

Day 22.

 

this sucks. I'm locked in this phase of really missing him. it's driving me nuts.

[Kris22]

Day 71

 

I still think about him all the time and miss him a lot. This is insane, it's been almost 4 months since the break up. I should be more past it by now.

[TiredOfDating]

day 23. the nights are the worst. I hate that I think about him this much. and I hate that I wonder if he thinks about me at all.

 

I started to write him an email. one I didn't intend to send, just to get my thoughts out. and then I read what I started to write, and I see that I'm still angry. So I need to get past that if there's any chance of a reconciliation.

[layla21]

Day 44

 

Guys, I miss him so much and am about to initiate contact. Why am I so weak today?

Even though I am hoping for him to message me, is it bad to open the communication line as a dumpee?

He is quite stubborn and due to our previous talks I mentioned that I dont have contact with any of my ex's at all because this is just how it went. However, it was always me being the dumper, now I am the dumpee for almost 3 months. Maybe that's the reason for him to never contact me, so maybe I initate something harmless (e.g. invite him to a game on some app we used to play together sometimes, was a LDR, btw), would that seem desperate? I dont plan on having an old good days talk or sth but just want to let him know I am okay, not mad, I dont hate or despise him and that he can actually contact me.

What do you think?

 

PS: I am aware I should keep NC for myself and I am doing it but at some point, maybe in a year, I reach indifference and am okay with even be friends. So I dont want him to see me as bitter and childish for just being gone (I just stopped talking and went straight into NC w/o telling him).

[Lostinlove31]

Day 19. Since I didn't technically talk to him, I am still counting vs starting over.

 

But he has a new FB friend. She's a single mother. And now every horrible scenario is running through my head.

You have to stop stalking otherwise it gets to be a mad house and depressing.

[lolita]

Day 44

 

Guys, I miss him so much and am about to initiate contact. Why am I so weak today?

Even though I am hoping for him to message me, is it bad to open the communication line as a dumpee?

He is quite stubborn and due to our previous talks I mentioned that I dont have contact with any of my ex's at all because this is just how it went. However, it was always me being the dumper, now I am the dumpee for almost 3 months. Maybe that's the reason for him to never contact me, so maybe I initate something harmless (e.g. invite him to a game on some app we used to play together sometimes, was a LDR, btw), would that seem desperate? I dont plan on having an old good days talk or sth but just want to let him know I am okay, not mad, I dont hate or despise him and that he can actually contact me.

What do you think?

 

PS: I am aware I should keep NC for myself and I am doing it but at some point, maybe in a year, I reach indifference and am okay with even be friends. So I dont want him to see me as bitter and childish for just being gone (I just stopped talking and went straight into NC w/o telling him).

 

Layla,

 

I understand your urge to contact him but I think you should push yourself a little longer wait at least 60 days. 44 days for us is hard not for them. They are enjoying their space and time so it doesn't feel that long for them.

 

when much more time has passed, thats when they will feel it too! They will be like what's that little one doing .

 

A lot of my exes came back sometimes years after sometimes just like 2-3 months. I actually had one that came back recently but he is totally sending me mixed signals, he would openly flirt with me on social media but can't offer a date and I can't be bothered playing his silly game because i m not interested anymore. I just watch him amused from afar and wait on his next silly game.

 

I m not sure if my recent ex that got me to come here is the type of coming back. Plus I m guessing that when he will be out of his drug addiction recovery he will be a different person which I think he will never look back to the past meaning Looking back to date someone from his horrible past. I have to admit it to myself that I have very very little possibility with this one...

 

Hold on tight for a little longer, you never know, you might be surprised of the outcome either you won't need him anymore or either he could come back!

I m on 47 days!! And stronger and stronger everyday that passes !

[Trinity11]

Cant remember what day of no contact im up to now, but its been 3 months since breakup. He never messaged me, aside from New Years. He no longer likes any of my media either. Well . It feels ty...but I guess that's his true colours, its hurts to think he didn't care. I know he did...but it still makes you think.

[TiredOfDating]

Today would have been 24. But I gave in.