THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[ideal87]

challenge accepted. I'm already at Day #5 of NC, so we'll go from there. I can do this....

[hotnspicychikn]

2 1/2 months since BU, Day 23 of NC and finally healing

[ZhaoZilong5]

Heh, this thread's probably past its point usefulness for me, but I'm bored, so I'll play anyway...kind of. Umm...day 2. Looks like I'll just post again on Nov 14th. Should be easy enough unless my ex contacts me.

[myolie]

Iam in some emotionally relationship problems and my boyfriend told me to take a f****** and die so I wont bother him anymore. I never bother him. I just told him that I was unhappy and lonely. And he told me to kill myself. I cried too much until my eyes are red and swollen. For everything that I did for him and he treated my like crap.

[rocko123]

Day 4

 

Boredome setting in at work and that leads to a desire to reach out to her. I keep thinking about the person she was trying to be when we were together and how far that was from who she actually is. This is all part of the disentagling process and NC seems to be working a little bit at a time. Just a tough day because I'm hearing things that may put her back in my path professionally. Gotta come up with a strategy for that.

[Jake_hope]

Day 5.

 

Today is the hardest day, my girlfriend cheated on me. It finally hit me hard today with the fact that SHE CHEATED. Even before, leading up, and post break up, I was not this bad. I broke down hard today, I just can't accept that she would do that to me. I just can't.

[ideal87]

Day #6 (miscounted on my last post and it was actually day #4,not 5).

 

As days go by, I am starting to really have acceptance that the relationship is over and I can feel these wounds starting to heal. There's times that I want to call her just to see how she's doing, but I know the sound of her voice and the mere fact that she doesn't want me back will just bring me back to square one. It feels awkward as this is the longest we've gone without talking since we met. 6 days down, 24 more to go.

[rocko123]

Day 5

 

Spent some really nice time with a female friend last night and it helped me realize that there is life after my ex. I'm looking forward to that day when I can work with my ex and all of the past is just that, the past. Until then, strict NC and no acknowledgement of her attempts to undermine some of my work initiatives.

[NjoyStick]

Hey my dearest ENA bro's and female bro's!

 

It's been about 7,5 months since i got dumped and i started looking at it from her perspective, for her our relationship was at a dead end and she tried to let me go as gentle as she could and for her the process of getting over me was already going on for a while so she dumped me and was pretty much over me shortly after that and her new bf saw that and went after her only a few days after it happened so she took that chance to start something new and i'm not angry anymore, we even emailed a couple of times last week and she's still happy so if she's happy then my job is done.

 

Even though her new bf is the biggest arrogant and stubborn douche in the world she should do what she thinks is best.

 

I went back to school last month and in 4 years i'll be a murse (male nurse) and i'm planning to work in Australia when i'm done with school so my life is going pretty good, and ofcourse the fact that my class has 16 girls and me =P and they adore me somehow haha =P

 

Believe me my dearest ENA's, even though it's really hard when a relationship ends... The sun will shine again for you, i'm living proof.

 

Now that you are single you will find someone who will be even better then the old one, believe me =D

 

And if it seems that you and the ex will come back together in the future you will know that you 2 weren't ready for each other yet until then!

 

So heal, keep yourself busy with anything that you enjoy and try to look at a better future!

 

With love,

 

Njoy

[ideal87]

Day #8

 

More and more progress is being made. Today is a new day, and I feel myself getting stronger. I did something earlier tonight that I haven't done in forever---browsed through profiles on a singles site. Not looking for a relationship as we speak, still have A LOT of things I need to fix with myself before I can get with anybody, but it wouldn't hurt to meet new people, make friends, and see what else is out there. who knows? I may end up finding somebody better than my previous ex (as the user above me stated Those slow, sad love songs don't make me sad anymore. Starting to get back to my old self, music and those stupid YouTube videos that I find hilarious are helping me get through this the most.

 

If there's one thing I've learned about this whole NC thing, and life in general, is to just take it 1 day at a time, set short term and long term goals. Yesterdays are gone, tomorrow's the future, you've just gotta worry about what's going on now, otherwise life's just gonna pass you by.

 

Best wishes to everyone else that's doing this challenge and going on the same path I am--you're not alone.

[rocko123]

Day 6

 

Had some loneliness and missing her today but kept myself busy and got past it. Spent a lot of good time with friends, had some beers, and the day ended very nicely.

[NoGood90]

Day 10...

 

So, she dumped me 10 days ago - apparently she liked me too much, our lives didn't 'click' and she couldn't offer me what I wanted.....

 

We were seeing eachother since Feb and she's genuinely one of the only girls I've really cared for, I've never had too much of a problem on the ladies front but there was something about this one. I made it pretty clear that I wouldn't be talking to her because that's how I deal with these sort of situations, so she's now text me about 6 times since then and I've ignored/deleted those messages and her number.

 

Today she was asking why I was ignoring her, how I'm doing etc etc.... Should I respond or continue NC?

[origami]

It's stil fresh, so in my opinion is a good time to speak. Tell her the truth, you dont want to get hurt again and say no more. After, say a month, if you didnt recomcile, maybe will be a good idea to start No contact and then really start ignoring her deliberately. Anyways, you know better what to do because you know her.

[ideal87]

Day #9

 

Feeling good about everything today. Work has been keeping my mind occupied and busy. Still, I wonder how she's doing even with all the stuff that's come to light in recent days. Just trying to take it day by day and live life to it's fullest.

[rocko123]

Day 7

 

Had some company last night that left me feeling fulfilled but a little lonely. Read through some of my post divorce and break up material and got some perspective on the situation. Then I had a "got back together" dream last night that had me feeling VERY sad and down this morning. It was so realistic and hightlighted all of the things I loved about her. So this morning, I focused on all of the bad things to try and counter those feelings because otherwise I'll be worthless and weepy all day long.

 

There are SO many good things to think about. This is where the bad thoughts stop.

[IAmFCA]

SuperDave, this is a GREAT idea. I am in. I love him to death, or thought I would, or did. But he lied and lost his way. He professes now to be off to resolve the other relationship that distracted him so. Right-o big guy, you go do that.

 

Do I wish hope pray that maybe someday somehow he will convince me and that I will try, and that I will be rewarded with a beautiful adventure together? Sure I do. I also wish for $1MM to land in my boots before breakfast.

 

So, after a long email of regret and confusion from him, that came in just as I was about to sign up here (!), I told him: I am taking a break. I am not healthy. I make no promises, no predictions. He said, if he has something of import to say to me, he will send me a message, and if he hears from me, that will mean one thing, and if not, then something else.

 

With this email, I welcome Day 1, the first day of taking back my soul.

 

Right before the flipping holidays too. Argh. Here goes. Wow, writing it is kind of hard. Once I click Post, its real. Ok, leaping now. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[ultimateguy8]

Day 3.

 

Woke up and felt a little less sad than I did the previous two days. Spent most of my day trying to figure out why she lost feelings for me and trying to rationalize that it was her stress issues that made her not have feelings for me. Talked it over with a few members of my family. Talking to other people makes it seem better, especially when they're pulling for me. Felt hurt when my friend suggested she could hook up with other guys since she was no longer dating me. Have been tempted to contact her but have had a family member change the password on my Facebook for the time being. I'm eating better than I did. I hope she misses me and will not be too stubborn to tell me.

[ideal87]

Day #10

 

I had a dream about her last night. In my dream, I went to her dads house. Her dad, her mom (her parents have realistically been divorced for at least 20 years now but appeared to be together and happy), and my ex were there. I knocked on the door, walked in, got greeted by a big smile and hug by my ex. We walked into the living room where her parents were sitting. Her mom was thrilled to see me and greeted me with a big smile. Her dad didn't even acknowledge me (which I always got a weird feeling around him, he disliked me for one reason or another, but whatever). We held hands, gave each other a kiss, and walked outside while her mom was cheering and crying tears of joy. No clue in the world what that dream was supposed to mean, but anywho..

 

Having had that dream, needless to say, she's been running through my mind all day, and it's been up and down. 1 minute, I keep reminding myself as to reasons why I'm better off without her, next minute I'm missing her and wishing we could work things out and have her back in my life. When will this ever end?

 

And on yet another note, the other day, out of pure boredom, I went on link removed and spoke to a psychic for about 5 minutes. I'm usually very skeptical about these types of things, but it's astonishing and creepy at how right on the person I spoke to was. I had basically asked him what his thoughts and feelings were towards me and my ex, and the possibility of reconciliation. He asked us for our names and birthdays, to which I gave him. He started describing traits of her personality, which were to a T. He then said that in her mind, she is moved on, but we still have a "soul connection" which is making it hard for me to move on. He also said he saw us reconciling and speaking to each other in late November. That's the part that creeps the hell out of me because in late November, on the 30th to be exact, her and her sisters will be going to New Orleans to celebrate birthdays. In order to get there, they have to pass through my town....what does everyone think of this?

[Lightning87]

Day 68

 

So you bumped in to my sister and asked how me and my son were and told my sister to tell my son happy birthday. Well that was nice of you *rolls eyes*

 

But yeah, I've stuck to NC. Still missing you though.

[IAmFCA]

Day 2

 

I have read the last email I received from him both yesterday and today. It was the email I received just before I called him to inform of NC. Not sure if that means I fail? I see in that email his confusion, and NC is SO the right thing for me to be doing. Sticking to my mantra: My man does not make me wonder. If you make me wonder, you are NOT my man.

 

I still occasionally call him curse words in my imagination. Haven't gotten to acceptance. But, some tears yesterday after a sleepless night, and getting more clear headed now.

 

Onward!

[rocko123]

Day 8

 

Another dream last night but this one had a noticeable shift in tone and included the 3 women that I currently have in my life. Said goodbye to two of them and set boundaries with the other one. Much happier and with a sense of my independence. I'm single!

 

Today, the goal is to celebrate that fact and be the best single me I can be. Nobody to answer to, nothing to hold me back, and no regrets about the poisonous past.

[musicman85]

3 Months at 2 Days for me now

 

It's not as hard as it was before but it's still difficult. The pain never really goes away, you just learn how to keep yourself busy and active so you don't think about it as much. I still miss her everyday, and thinking about her all the time. I find myself waiting to see when she will break up with her current boyfriend that she left me for, and after 3 months of NC i feel like its not gonna happen.

 

I've been really busy recently, and in those times I'm doing fine. It's when the craziness and busy work schedule i keep myself on subsides that I think about her and whats going on. Is 3 Months NC anything? She's still dating the guy she left me for as far as I know.

 

I'm not planning on breaking NC at all

[IAmFCA]

Day 2

 

This is SO the right thing to do!

[JohnGalt]

Back to Day 1. I called her tonight at 7pm. She didn't answer. I feel like an idiot. It's probably for the better cause had she answered, she would have just told me she doesn't want to get back together.

[lalalollipops]

I have to start again. I broke NC, managed to last 5 days.

So guess today is day 1.

 

I can do this!