Jake_hope

I forgot how it feels like to interact with you... I can say that after one month no nc, I feel like we are strangers. I don't even remember how my life use to be when we were together... And it's sad.... I'm not sad however... It's just the simple fact that you are somebody I used to know is sad.

It has been 22 days since we last spoke and I was so much in love with you. I brought you into my world, my childhood places and everything I love in Boston. I have Boston, now because everything reminds me of you. The places i haven't brought you yet is also tainted because I always WANTED to bring you there when you visit again. You cheated and for the longest time I thought it was because he was BETTER than me. I learned he is NOT better than me but is a better fit for YOU than me.

I never want you back. I went to a resort today and experienced a lot of new things and I wish I was able to spend it with you. There were so many dreams I has for us and when I experience those dreams without you... It sucks. F you.

I looked at a picture of you today, You have manly hands, your elbows skin is extremely dry, when you smile a certain why your face looks like a hamster. It's funny how when you are not blinded by love, you don't see them as pretty as they used to be.

Must disregard YOU and acquire currency!

Okay, Steps: 1) You lied to me. 2) I neglected you after I gave you another chance. 3) You ended up cheating on me. 4) No matter how bad things were in the LDR, this doesn't give you a warrant to cheat. No person deserves that kind of pain when all they did was love you. 5) Repeats steps 1 - 4 in my head until I feel better.

Setback: I was feeling so awesome last night and today, then I saw a picture of you with your new bf at a bar with his friends. You guys just don't look right together, you are like a girly girl and he is like these big russian rocker dudes. Like seriously? this is what you left me for? Only you can shoot me out of the sky.

The answer to you question is: No.

A truly great post. As I read this I thought about all the good things I have done in the past month. I started working out and eating right, deactivated fb and realized how much time I spent on it, read more, I am more social by attending so many events, potential new job and I am starting to smile. I sat here thinking after this post about how after she lied a year ago, I just doubted her all year long. There were times when I said I am going to marry this girl but at the same time said, im going to make her sign a prenup. I guess I stayed with her because I was too weak and after she cheated, confirmed how I truly felt for her thru my actions in the the last year opposed to my thoughts. It's your loss you immature girl.

Guess what ex, went out tonight and got 2 numbers and met this girl who I knew 3 years ago. Kissed her too. Buahhahahaha

How do you throw a way a 3.5 year relationship for someone you know you will not last with?

You treated me like chop liver when you found someone else, how could you do that to someone you said you loved? You were not the person I made you up to be.

Downloaded a program that blocks websites today, so I can block certain sites you are on. This is the last little bit of you I have left and I am letting you go tonight. Honestly, I can't believe this all happened, 3.5 years and gone just like that. arrge whatever, you are going to get fat anyways with the amount of chocolate you eat.

Love is blind, oh baby, you so blind. I treated you good, I gave you the most memorable of times. When we first met, I blind folded you for 30 mins while I took you to build a bear because you don't have that in your country. I took you on top of a mountain to over see the whole city and I gave you a fairy tale kiss. When you had to fly back to Russia and went to New york for your flight, I chased after you like in the movies when someone goes to the airport. Remember when I couldn't find you in New York and I went down the escalators in that department store and you were standing at the bottom? It was a movie like scene. Then you left and we started out long distance relationship, a year past and I few to Spain to see you while you were studying aboard. Never traveled international before, I took a chance to go somewhere I can't even speak the language. It was in Spain that I was completely hopeless. To not be able to speak a single thing of spanish and to a city I have never been before, I put all my hope in your hands. You guided me thru Spain and we had a wonderful time. It was in Spain that I told you I love you. "Let me paint this picture for you, baby You spend your nights alone and he never comes home and every time you call him all you get a busy tone I heard you found out that he's doing to you what you did to me ain't that the way it goes you cheated girl my heart bleeded girl so it goes without saying that you left me feeling hurt just a classic case a scenario tale as old as time girl you got what you deserved."

I saw a picture of you today, looks like you got an ugly blister on your lip. Herpes? Lol.

I saw a picture of you today and you look ugly in it.

How does one drink two bottles of wine and only be tipsy?

A year ago, I wanted to break up with you cause I couldn't trust you. I told you my fears and how past girlfriend has made me insecure. How dare you promise me you won't lie and cheat on me, how dare you promise me you won't let me turn into a monster by living in fear all the time. You pulled me back in only to run my heart over twice. I hope he is doing to you what you did to me, cause what goes around comes around.

Today is hard, the sky is very gloomy, and I am preparing for this storm. I love in Boston and there is this Sandy storm coming and I have been stuck inside all day. So many people from other cities has messaged me asking how things are and I just wish you would call. I wish you would care about me over here preparing for power outages and whatever will come when the storm hits. Today is the first day since our break up that I feel lonely. Despite our fights and what you did to me, I have no one to call to talk to about my feelings anymore. It sucks.

I thought I was going to marry you, can't believe how you treated me after you got someone new. You cheater

I realized you treated me badly while cheating so I would break up with you so you DON'T feel guilty. Who the hell are you? Who does that? When I did break up with you, you just left so easy, it was so weird but now I realized the truth. Oh yeah, you cried and said "you broke my heart when you gave up on us"? REALLY? YOU WERE CHEATING. You seriously are a broken girl, I don't know what happened in your past but you differently jumped from one relationship to another and ripping people's hearts out.

How could you cheat on me? How could you say and repeat the same actions that you did to me when we first met? I guess I knew all this time you were a cheater but blinded by our love. I want to share my day with you... I want to know how you are doing. You been my life for the past 3 years and now you checked out of this relationship.

Day 5. Today is the hardest day, my girlfriend cheated on me. It finally hit me hard today with the fact that SHE CHEATED. Even before, leading up, and post break up, I was not this bad. I broke down hard today, I just can't accept that she would do that to me. I just can't.

DAY 10- Yesterday after waiting most of the day if she would send me anything for my birthday, she didn't. I celebrated my birthday with my family and we had a big dinner and watched the superbowl. I would go to the computer and keep checking my email all day; I already decided that I should move on and let go. I was going to go see her in Russia, but taking Janeiac advise I should spend that money on something else. I got desperate last night and asked a buddy of mine who is mutual friends with her on FB to read me off some of her latest fb status updates, because the reason I deleted her off FB in the first place cause those status updates really upset me. When I deleted her off FB two days ago it was when I started to contemplate to let her go. Anyways, my buddy told me her latest status update said "happy birthday baby". After he told me that it really put me at crossroads again, she knows I'm not able to see her FB but yet she still wrote it. I'm not sure what to do now, but today I dont feel sad, I dont feel unhappy yet I dont feel happy for the fact she wrote happy birthday. I just feel indifferent; I tried to let out some emotions, but nothing.

I guess my attention was not good enough because we are so far away, I mean we talked almost everyday. I'm not sure anymore, since this NC started it seems like she could care less. Its so out of her character, I thought she would be the one coming after me since she messed up, but I guess not.