THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[lalalollipops]

NC day 4

 

7 days NC here I come!!

[IAmFCA]

Day 17

 

Started to focus on things other than her for a while. Picked up a book called "If the Buddha Dated" that focuses on how to establish a relationship w/ yourself in order to better serve any future relationships you'll have w/ other people. Feel like I'm getting stronger and stronger every day.

 

Rocko, I am going to check out this book you mention. Title sounds intriguing. Thanks for the mention of it.

[IAmFCA]

Day 10--

 

It stuck! I kept my head on straight for a whole day!

 

Geez it seems silly. There are parts of today that would have been better with him in it, and I felt that like it is just part of the air, not like it was a gut wrenching void. If I am going to fall for someone, of course there will be enough there that it will leave an hole when they are gone. Doesn't mean they shouldn't be gone.

 

Yay Day 10, welcome to my life. I smell two weeks, and it smells good.

[ideal87]

day #4. still having those moments where I miss her dearly, but I eventually snap out of it. there's still a lot of things I'm having a hard time understanding, like how could she not love me anymore after everything I've done for her and everything we've been through, but I suppose I'll get those answers as time goes on. the fact that our 8 month anniversary would've been a couple of days ago isn't helping much either. oh well though, just gotta keep moving along in this game called life. cheers to day #4, looking forward to my 1 week goal slowly approaching.

[beatlesfan123]

Day 30.

 

For the first time I've started focusing on the negatives rather than the positives in the relationship and it isn't pretty.

 

This may sound strange but conversations with my ex while we were together made me believe that when we were away from eachother, we'd be thinking the exact same thing regarding our relationship. If I was happy and grateful so was she, if I was having doubts and needing space she would feel the same too. It was the lack of communicating this properly that broke us up. I honestly believe that as today is the day I focus on the negatives and enjoy my space, she as the dumper will begin to feel the opposite and start to remember all the fun we had.

 

It doesn't mean I'm expecting contact, just makes me feel good knowing that I'm probably not being resented our *****ed about right now.

[ideal87]

NC day 4

 

7 days NC here I come!!

 

you can do it!

[lalalollipops]

^oy since you're NCing too and we're only one day apart, bet I can last longer than you. Haha yes? Let's see who ends up cracking first.

Definitely not me!

[ideal87]

^oy since you're NCing too and we're only one day apart, bet I can last longer than you. Haha yes? Let's see who ends up cracking first.

Definitely not me!

Haha challenge accepted! You're going down

[IAmFCA]

Day 11

 

I stood at my office elevators and remarked to myself, "Well, he's gone." And it was matter of fact.

 

Day11. Hardly slept, still off my game, but definitely recovering.

[ultimateguy8]

Day 13 since break up, day 13 of NC.

 

I'm sleeping a lot better but still wake up in the morning thinking about her and how I wish things were different and back to what it used to be like. I haven't been on Facebook since Sunday and I feel so much better since then. That was a low point for me because not only did she not wish me a happy birthday, none of her friends did (besides one) and she had new pictures up from the weekend that made me sad. I just can't keep giving into the temptation of keeping tabs on her life- it really brings you back to square one.

[rocko123]

Day 18

 

Day 17 was great. Today sucks. I have a cold and slept like crap. Spent my whole morning shower crying about stupid **** I can change with a woman who never will be what I want her to be. Why do I have to keep learning these lessons over and over again?

 

Thus it continues. Tomorrow will necessarily be better than this crap-pile of a day.

[rocko123]

Rocko, I am going to check out this book you mention. Title sounds intriguing. Thanks for the mention of it.

 

Absolutely check it out. It's a very good book for us "walking wounded"

[lalalollipops]

Day 5

 

It shouldn't be this hard.

I managed NC for like 104 days in 2010 with an ex from back then, then NC again (after two weeks of talking) for 5 months straight after (before he broke it again -_-). It's just sad this time, cos my ex is a decent guy. URGH, each day passes so bloody slow. I miss him so much, I've been crying everyday for nearly 3 weeks now.

 

GOAL: NC for 45 days.

Gotta stop looking at phone, I know he won't text me

[IAmFCA]

Day 11 ends, and the fog is still lifting.

 

A little worried about Day 14, because it seems like something I can totally accomplish. Which means, he will call/tm/email me for sure. He has always had an uncanny ability to find me as I am just at the point of giving up.

 

Crossing my fingers, oddly, that he leaves me alone.

[drag0n26]

NC for 8 days and also unfriended him on facebook today.

 

BU was 2 weeks ago. Cried for 10 days, but no tears for 3 days today. Still miss him, but the pain is less.

[ideal87]

Day #5. Work and planning my trip to Miami next month has kept my mind busy. I find myself not looking at my phone as much or jumping around with anxiety whenever I do receive a text or call.

[ZhaoZilong5]

Let's try it again. Day #2, though this isn't about healing.

[rocko123]

Day 18

 

Stupid head cold. How can I move on when I feel this draw towards her? How do I rip that part of myself out that still cares?

 

Time to get really busy on me. Make her an afterthought. I'll probably always care about her but right now I'm not caring enough about me.

[IAmFCA]

Day 12

 

I am going to be okay.

 

Found someone to go with me to the show on Saturday. Which is to say, someone who seems to be worth bringing.

 

Reported B's hate speech to YouTube. Not out of anger or spite, but because it is the right thing to do.

 

Am thankful that my own anger and spite is subsiding.

 

Found a new logic today: He knows that to date me is to choose a path away from anger and towards acceptance. I doubt he is ready to take that journey, to find that good within himself. By this construct, he cannot be with me and it is part of why he has struggled. By this construct, I felt today a whiff of a new thing. As if I could play with him as friends, without wanting to date him, because I can see that he chooses to be damaged.

 

That new thing I felt is a load of garbage. But I felt it like a wisp blowing in the wind. I think it signals tendrils of acceptance.

 

I am not at all through with him. Of late, I have been letting myself look at his FB page, which is blissfully stagnant to my eye. Must be vigilant as the fog lifts.

[lalalollipops]

NC day 6

 

It's getting alittle easier (the NC). But I know from experiences the urges usually come in waves.

 

I can do thisss! *pumps fist in air*

[IAmFCA]

Day 12 ends... I am not okay. Still have him in my brain. The click on FB was slippery, I googled him again and found tonight's hateful youtube post. Why is he always so vituperative on YouTube? Anyway, it should make me further disgusted, but it doesn't.

 

Must resist FB and Google. MUST.

[lalalollipops]

^ haha I remember I used to do that. Unfortunately you always end up finding sth that will make you stomach turn. I did it alot in 2010 with an ex, and my GOD the stuff I used to stumble accross.

[IAmFCA]

^ haha I remember I used to do that. Unfortunately you always end up finding sth that will make you stomach turn. I did it alot in 2010 with an ex, and my GOD the stuff I used to stumble accross.

 

Right? Sheesh. Nothing at all what he is like in person. Very disconcerting. Maddening that I see that nonsense and yet he still turns me on (at least I imagine so if I were to see him). But, Day 13 here I come! So glad we can count our progress in days. Lets not break the count.

[rocko123]

Day 19

 

Work has thrust us back together at some point in the future. Note #1000 to self: Do NOT get involved with coworkers. It can so easy end badly.

 

This is going to be a challenge because I still haven't let go. My heart wants her back. My brain says it can't and won't work. And the struggle continues.

 

Might have to find a new job.

[IAmFCA]

Day 13, I am ready for you.