THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[NjoyStick]

Day 34, like always, the good days end and she's back in my head... But it will go away again, for a moment, i don't need her but i"m still somehow very used to her so it keeps coming back to me.

 

I need to get her out of my mind, she's not thinking of me so why would i think about her, it's not fair...

 

Thanks for leaving me with all the pain while you live your life happily with your new douchebag!

 

Good days will come though, they will ^^

[brickheart]

Yesterday went by really quickly. I'm determined to make it this time. Please help me, everyone!

[skheehee]

End of Day 20

 

Just another day. I didn't really think much about her as I was asleep for most part of the day. I'm starting to think of her lesser everyday. I've stopped putting her on the pedestal and instead, I've replaced her, with ME.

 

I am important now. No one decides my future apart from MYSELF. I am the commander of my own ship. If my first mate jumps ship, I still have to regain control of my crew and my ship and maintain my course. I decide my own destiny, and I'm not letting anyone stop me.

[NjoyStick]

Skheehee, that's the spirit bro! I'm proud of you ^^ you are all that matters in the end!

[brickheart]

Skheehee, I hope I can be as strong as you are right now. I want to be where you are in 19 days! Thanks for the inspiration. It's not that I'll ever forget him, and I feel sure he won't forget me, but I'm in command of my own life. I really like the first mate analogy. : )

[Pleasedonot5]

brick, you can make it. I know you can Feel free to PM me if you ever have a weak moment. I'm here for you!

 

skheehee, you should be a motivational speaker or a poet. Something creative, because you have a really creative mind. I also like your analogy. Proud of your progress, man, keep it up

[tness]

NC day 56 or 58..

My ex broke the NC.

Just some cold practical stuff, not much to analyse,

I texted her back, short and simple.

[skheehee]

Hey mates. Thank you for your kind words. Honestly though, if not for some really motivating threads on ENA and the positive attitude on the outlook of life by people like Zorba (who is long gone), SuperDave, CrapAtNC, love4life, and many others, I wouldn't have the drive to be where I am today. Yeah, there is the possibility of getting back together with an ex after periods of NC or being NONCHALANT to their attempts and "reaching out" to you. Always remember the saying though, "Once bitten, twice shy." We got played like puppets, our hearts toyed with, with no regard to how we would end up feeling at the end. Who's to say that they won't do it again, if we were to get back together?

 

I would rather turn and keep walking with my head held high and my eyes fixed firmly onto the horizon for new opportunities ahead, than to keep turning back and looking at the carnage behind me, wondering what could have been, and should have been. We have to stop beating ourselves up for whatever happened, and strive to do whatever it takes to be better people in the future.

 

For in our future, there is only one person who will certainly be around. And that person, is YOU.

[gotanewbeat]

day 4

 

this is what i wanted, but in hindsight i'm actually so scared of what could end up happening. i know that if he doesnt get in touch with me its for the best, hes a jerk, i'm better of without blah blah blah... but i have so much invested in our friendship... and i'm really starting to question whether or not anything between us was genuine or if it was just a facade. for me, it was genuine... i'm starting to wonder about him though. i know it's still really early, and chances are he's out there doing what he normally does and eventually one day things might be different, he might miss me... whatever... but what if he doesnt? i will actually be SO hurt.

 

bahhhh

[Pleasedonot5]

Day 7, attempt 3

 

Absolutely no contact with the ex today. My morning and first part of the day was terrible. The second part of the day I had a movie day with the girl I've been interested in. It went well but she wants to give me time to get over my ex. I respect that. I feel like I've developed some feelings for this girl.

 

Conflicted emotions. I know my ex wants to reconcile, but she's doing a piss poor job of communicating it. I might still give her a chance if she comes around, but I'm almost at the point of no return. I can feel it...

[skheehee]

End of Day 21

 

Felt pretty good about myself after today. I watched "The Dark Knight Rises" and felt like I could really identify with the protagonist. For those who have not watched the movie, PLEASE WATCH IT! In a way, the movie can help you face your inner demons and overcome them. You'll feel much better after doing so.

[Blondie176]

Day 24

 

I cannot believe i have got this far to be honest, the early days were unbearable and i really thought i would cave and call him, message him or something but i havent. Yay! He also hasnt contacted me at all, says it all really doesnt it?

 

We have become strangers in just a short time, gone from being each others everything to nothing. Its such a strange feeling to go from knowing someone inside and out to feeling like you dont know them at all, just someone you knew once. I find that rather sad really.

 

I still wish he would call, but i am not sure why? I guess so i dont feel forgotten, being forgotten sucks balls. lol

 

Anyway onward we go.. tomorrow is another day. xxx

 

Day 25-26

 

I got very confused regarding which day it was today LOL I guess thats a good sign!

 

I have nothing new to add really, i am letting go, i am slowly starting to look forward instead of backwards. I am still glancing over my shoulder on occasions at what could have been but i think that will wear off with time. Or maybe i will look back periodically and wonder about him. I hope one day i can do it with peace and sincerely hope he is doing well. Not that i wish he was doing crap right now...well ok maybe a little

 

xxx

[skheehee]

Day 25-26

 

I got very confused regarding which day it was today LOL I guess thats a good sign!

 

I have nothing new to add really, i am letting go, i am slowly starting to look forward instead of backwards. I am still glancing over my shoulder on occasions at what could have been but i think that will wear off with time. Or maybe i will look back periodically and wonder about him. I hope one day i can do it with peace and sincerely hope he is doing well. Not that i wish he was doing crap right now...well ok maybe a little

 

xxx

 

Well, you're not alone in the "wishing of crap" part, that's for sure.

[gotanewbeat]

day 5

 

super exciting day in my own personal world which no longer involves him. i figured he might have the decency to wish me luck, but he didnt. everyday i dislike him more and more... but in a selfish and not-so-positive way. hopefully with time that changes too... i don't want to resent him, or think badly of him... i want to forgive him and be happy for him and where ever he ends up. i guess that's something i need to work on.

 

 

oh well, time to celebrate.

[Pleasedonot5]

Day 8, attempt three

 

No contact again from the ex. I did get some nostalgic feelings throughout the day, but none were too painful. It seems like my ex is trying in little ways to accidently get me to notice her or get me jealous, but it doesn't really bother me anymore. Her acting weird like that to me just shows weakness or hurt.

 

I went to a party today but it was boring. Wish I would have skipped it a little bit and gone to the gym instead for a little while.

[NjoyStick]

Day 36, getting better each day, she's still in my mind somewhere and i only feel sad when i think about her but i can force myself to think about other stuff so i'm good ^^

[tness]

Day 36, getting better each day, she's still in my mind somewhere and i only feel sad when i think about her but i can force myself to think about other stuff so i'm good ^^

 

You are doing good.

I´m on day 59 I think. She sent me a short SMS the other day, I replied short. So I don´t count that

[skheehee]

End of Day 22

 

Just another day, I guess. I've given up hope on reconciliation with her, unless if she initiates it. Even then, I will tread cautiously. A part of me wants to reach out to her so bad and tell her how I feel, and smother her with all the lovey-Dover confessions, but another part of me knows that such acts are just desperate and futile, that I need focus on picking myself up again and moving forward, not looking back.

 

I still love her. I just don't want her in my life anymore.

[NjoyStick]

Thanks tness, so do you =D

 

Yea that shouldn't count, my ex texted me on my bday a couple of weeks ago and i just said Tnx, so it's still pretty much no contact =P

[gotanewbeat]

day 6

 

i saw him briefly today, likely the last time for a long time now. there were two words exchanged between us, and it left an incredibly sour taste in my mouth all day. i don't think either of us know what's going on or how to interpret each other's actions. everything went from being perfectly normal a week ago to so convoluted and awkward after six days without talking. i don't know if this is the right path, this whole no contact business. he seemed just as unhappy and confused as i am, and i feel like if this continues it will ruin any chance we have of even being friends in the future. i know a lot of no contact is about moving on and improving yourself, and i've really made great advances in the past two months to better my life (i got a way better job, i'm volunteering, i'm averaging a 3.9 GPA, i'm rewarding myself, i'm very active socially and physically, and i've been journaling to try to organize my thoughts and feelings about all of this as well as talking with my closest friends), but i still feel this incredible void. my rational brain tells me i've got everything i need, and i know i don't need him to feel complete (because i felt complete before i had even met him, and i'm in an even better stage of my life now)... but his presence and support, somehow, made it all even better. i'm not saying i'm dependent on him to be happy, i experience happiness and joy everyday in the company of my friends and loved ones... i'm just saying that i'm really starting to miss him.

 

it's true how "they" say the stages of grief are applicable to a break up. i've gone through the denial, the pain and the anger, the guilt and the blame... and i think i've reached the point where i'm able to look back and see what really happened. i wish i could call him and tell him now how much i appreciate him, when i never did in the past, and tell him i'm sorry that i never allowed myself to trust him enough to be as open and honest with him as he was with me. that i wish i could go back with the knowledge that i have now and do things differently, treat him as well as he treated me. in hindsight, i realized i pushed him away, and it's a really hard pill to swallow.

[Pleasedonot5]

Day 9, attempt three

 

Ran today in the early morning through a lightning storm... it was enthralling but a bit scary haha. Interesting run ;p Then, I didn't do much, but I've started debating again to occupy my time (although only on forums specific to debating... I've learned my lesson from this BU... no facebook debates!) but I will watch that hobby carefully to make sure that it doesn't progress badly again like it did before! Went to the gym and worked out, and that was good too

 

Regarding my ex, she continues to try to contact me in little ways. She liked an attractive picture of me on facebook, and updated a status saying, "the most important things are so hard to say." She does have problems with being confrontational, so that's understandable. I have a reasonable feeling that she wants to reconcile, but I do not know whether she'll have the ovaries to step up to the plate and say it. If she does, I'll respect her for it, because that kind of thing has been very hard for her from the last few months of our relationship until now. If she brings it up in a direct way, then that's one of the improvements I've wanted to see out of her that I can check off of the list. I think it looks good though -- I'll probably have a harder time maintaining the recon if it is to occur. Oh yeah, and I'm seeing her at a party in a few days. I'll let everyone know how that goes.

 

Not much pain today, and just a tad bit of confusion. Clarity is a good thing to feel for the first time in a few months. Sending hugs to anyone in pain! Keep working at healing! It feels so much better to escape from the hurt (for the most part), and eventually it will happen for all of you! Have a good night ENA (:

[Karianne]

Day 23

 

My heart doesn't ache anymore. I still cry and miss you a ton, but I know that nothing will be the same anymore, and I am starting to get used to it.

I can't set myself back anymore though. I can't be updated on your life without it setting me back. I compare my progress with yours, and it's only making me feel miserable.

You probably don't think about me. You probably won't reach out again. Maybe I'll be okay with that. But I know that right now, we aren't good together. We're not the people we are supposed to be yet. We are changing and becoming new people. We don't know who we are yet. Maybe someday, in the future, in ten years or something, we will be together again.

For now, goodbye.

[g3m1nn1]

Day 3, attempt 3

 

This is so pathetic it's hilarious in some way.

So I had a weak moment, and i texted her on Tuesday night. Nothing major, just a upbeat message, whats she doing, and we exchanged a few messages chit chatting, funny responses and all.

Like you can imagine, it felt great for a minute, but then a feeling of wanting more came along. At that moment wanting to prolong the interaction, but i didn't.

 

So the last couple of days, I did some productive stuff, working out, working on a project etc. but i also realised that my progress is freaking slow, i mean, not that it hurts so much, i overcame that stage, where i feel resentment and blaming her, but the fact that the thought of her is in the back of my mind, no matter what and the thought that this is somehow not all that is was meant to be. I guess I am trying to hold on to something that isn't there.

 

therefore i am trying really hard to control my thought, so to speak, because the way I see it, allowing them to be 80 - 90% around her, even if its in the back of my mind, is not helping my progress at all, whatever way i look at it. I am just having a hard time letting go, 'cause i dont know how.

 

But the best thing i should do, i get myself back, the way i was before the BU.

 

So that's that.

[Chalk]

Day 1:

 

On why: because I'm still very attached to him and if I don't do this I won't move on. There are obviously things I need to learn from this pain and if I keep chasing him I won't learn. I can't get into the hope/let down cycle of friendship. A small, deluded part of me hopes he realised how much he misses me and has made a mistake!!

 

How's it going: it totally would have 2 days but he texted me saying 'know this is a stupid question but how are you?'. I wanted to text back 'i've moved cities, lost my pets, my hope of a future and possibly my job. Every moment I think of you and can't stop crying. My doctor prescribed me zopiclone so I can sleep and I can't eat anything. So I'm feeling wonderful you pr**k.' Alas, I did not I just said: 'Please do not contact me unless you wish to reconcile. It hurts me as it gives me false hope'. To which he replied: 'I still want us to be on speaking terms'. To which I said... nothing and still haven't. I deleted his texts so I wouldn't reanalyse them for hints of love.

 

Good luck everyone!! I've been lurking on these pqges for a few days and its helped x

[Chinafish]

Day 1

 

 

Just deleted all his messages from my phone.

 

This is IT. You've kept me on a string for long enough. You no longer have any power over me.

 

Hope my bravado lasts