THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Faith276]

Day 3

 

Dear ex,

I am trying so hard not to re-read all the texts and pictures you sent me. They just make me cry. I have tried to force myself not to go on facebook because I don't want to be hurt anymore. I feel so sick because she has been trying to break us up for over a year and now you are single, she is moving in on you - on facebook so I can see, and privately. I know you said that you don't want her.....but I don't know if I can handle your inevitable rebound. Despite the fact you are scared of women because of our pregnancy scare and you said it makes you feel sick to think of me with someone else.....so come back!

 

I have been brave so far - I have not begged or pleaded. I am hoping that you will come back on your own. When you said you wanted to get back together in the future my heart felt 6 tonnes lighter - when you said that I will probably have a new boyfriend by then, it sank. I wonder if you are thinking about the good times? You mentioned some of the hard times when we last spoke. Its been said that after the initial break up, the dumper focuses on the bad times to help them feel like they made the right decision. After a few weeks, they remember the good times. I hope so. I told you that if you love someone you let them go and if they are yours then they will come back. I half believe it. You always believed that I was psychic - well everything I saw in the tarot cards has come true. You got into uni and your book has been accepted. The cards say that this is a temporary pause and that reunions will happen and my wishes will be fulfilled. I am praying that I am as good as you think I am! When you said you were planning on taking me away for the weekend before we broke up, it was bittersweet. To know that we both had the same plan and wanted time with each other....but that it will never happen. I'm praying it will in the future.

 

Everything I see reminds me of you in some way - the games we used to play, teasing, nicknames, things we did together. I used to love a lie in with you on the weekends. This has been my first weekend back in my flat on my own - without friends, parents or you....and now I can't even sleep in my bed without missing you and your cuddly pj's. I can't eat the chocolate buttons you left in my fridge. I can't watch any of the dvd's I own because I remember how we saw them together. I have wanted to phone you everyday. I wish you hadn't pushed me away. I know why you did, to help you get better, but I want to share my life with you, like we planned to. I miss your family too - they were so supportive. I am sorry your mum is ill, she will be fine. I promise.

 

I know I suggested no-contact and you chose three weeks. This is going to be the longest three weeks of my life - please don't break my heart at the end of it. I deserve at least a coffee to talk things through - I know you said that seeing me made you realise what you had done, and you couldn't handle pretending to be ok that we are not together, but I miss you. So much.

[SelinaSmile]

Well I wasn't around at the 3 day mark last night.

 

I went out with a new friend last night, a man. Ended up talking about you at the end. Here I was thinking that your total ignoring of me was a plan to make this breakup permanent... and he informs me that this is a common tactic of shifty men. Setting me up for when you do contact me again. Although I don't want to believe this of you, I know how manipulative you are.

 

I pray to whoever is listening to my prayers that I am able to ignore you or if I am not able to, to tell you to eff off. Because I know you will get tired of this new girl, or she'll get tired of you. And since I'm the Fallback Girl you'll call me so you have someone to sleep with until you find the next girl.

 

Well I don't want to be The Fallback Girl. I deserve better than that. I deserve to be loved, cherished, honored and respected. I feel sorry for you, that you'll never really feel love.

[Liraele]

Restarted NIC.

 

Explained Friday why I needed to not initiate contact... he claims to want to get back to things eventually, but I'm not sure I believe it. Hearing "I need air, time to not deal with the emotional upheaval, time to breathe." is one thing, but when you absolutely refuse to attempt to make a stab at maintaining a connection - saying good night or good morning each day at least, and that's all... it comes accross as more "I want you waiting on the sideline while I work on things with a new girl... once I'm sure things will work out here, I'll set you free, maybe. THEN you can start to heal." Well, I'll be damned if I'm that girl. So I'm going to work on healing and moving on. If he comes back, great...if not, it's his loss, but I won't be starting the grieving and healing process then.

 

So, as of Friday @ 5... NC.

[SelinaSmile]

Well I guess I broke NC. I didn't contact him directly, but I stalked his public FB page and his LinkedIn page. It is hard for me to believe he is as cruel as he... is. I simply don't understand. I can't fathom. I can't wrap my head around it.

 

I feel like crap because of course I saw the pic of him and his new gf on her profile pic in his friends list. It is as if I WANT to be unhappy. That I WANT to be depressed. As soon as I start feeling better, I just twist the knife...

[Aqua066]

Day 5 NC! Sunday's suck! Been home alone all day... been having a hard time not thinking about her and also the other guy Ugh! back to work tomorrow... where she will also be. I will be a ghost this coming week I can assure you...

[Melting]

 

Yes, you're on Day 1.

 

Argh darn it........

[Melting]

Back to Day 1 for me again! BU 1st Sept

[aev]

Day 100 of NC! We should have some sort of badge for that, like the coins in AA.

 

6 months of LC/NC, nearly 7 months since the breakup. It's time I take a break from ENA. This site's been good to me, but there comes a time where you don't really need it any more, and hanging around just sort of holds you back. Sort of like riding with training wheels when really, you know you could make it further without them.

 

I still have hope of a reconciliation, but there's no desperation any longer. It's more a sense of "I'm open to a new relationship - be it with my ex or someone new - and while I'd like to be with him again, if it doesn't happen, there's no loss." It's a very peaceful place to be.

 

Best of luck to all of you. I hope to see some more good reconciliation stories next time I come around! ENA Getting Back Together stories always warm my heart

[jeepman41]

I know how you feel. ENA has been good to me too. I'm at Day 149. I thought about taking a break once but I still feel a need to encourage and offer advice to those just starting on the journey of NC. I will admit that it is an empowering and liberating experience. I see a lot of people here start NC, then break it and keep repeating the cycle over and over. It is a sad situation.

[Lostlove26]

I had a good weekend and glad i got out of town for a few days with my family. He was still on my mind, but it is 10 times worse when I am alone. I wish I could post something positive but it seems I am not there. I hate being alone and I hate feeling like I always need to talk to someone every time I get sad... I am trying to be strong and pull myself together but who am I kidding. I know this is part of the healing I just feel like I need to stop feeling so down all the time it's almost 3 months I just feel like I am failing myself... I want to be stronger...

[Tomuch2hope]

Damm, just I had seen this before. About 3mths before.

 

Im going to take up the NC challenge, but have to admit to already contacting my ex 3 or 4 times and breaking all the post break up rules in the first week or two, but I have had no contact since. Im also not too proud to admit these misakes made me look very weak, needy and

 

 

Dispite this and because of the cirumstances surrounding our break up I still hold out a little hope we can get back together.

 

Hang in there folks, we`ll either get them back or find someone better

[Melting]

Lol - I didn't even survive Day 1...... oh gosh, I managed to get myself to Day 8, now I back to Day 1 and can't even pull that off!

[Aqua066]

Day 6 NC! Back to work today... she's not here. That's a good thing but still getting stupid thoughts in my head like "she's probably with him". Hopefully soon enough I won't care anymore... Today I do feel better. Yesterday was torture (I hate Sunday's). Gotta keep it up... Gonna get back on my workout regiment tonight.

[Liraele]

Day 2.5 - making it to 5 will make it 3 full days of no contact... the longest we have ever gone. It's really hard to hold in there, but I'm going to do it anyway. It's time.

[Melting]

Day 1 AGAIN! BU 1st Sept.

 

You are trying to get back in my life, but you have killed so much of me. I am not ready and to be honest, I don't think I will ever be now... the trust is gone

[David271]

Don't think there is any hope. She has asked about me on a couple of times. but so have I. Last night a mutual friend told me, the both of us are saying the same thing about each other. Both are saying 'where ever he or she is, the other avoids that place or social event." Its more then likely the truth. Well, what do you do? I'm continuing the NC and making excellent progress in moving on. I quess that is it in a nut shell. Life goes on, right. Time waits for no man.

[madine]

Day 11

 

O no, I've suddenly got the urge to contact her.. to tell her what a [insert a whole lot of very very bad words] she is. It is almost uncontrollable. I hate her guts right now. What do I do?

[jeepman41]

Day 11

 

O no, I've suddenly got the urge to contact her.. to tell her what a [insert a whole lot of very very bad words] she is. It is almost uncontrollable. I hate her guts right now. What do I do?

 

 

I would suggest that you do nothing. It's normal to feel rage and a whole gamut of emotions shortly after a breakup. But what would you accomplish by insulting her? Yeah, you might feel better immediately but what about long term? Don't let this be the last memory she has of you. You've already accomplished a milestone by maintaining NC for 11 days. Just keep doing what you are doing. If you want to vent just write down how you are feeling then go back and read it in a week and see if you still feel the same way.

[Moonchill]

Ok so I guess I was the only one singing then

[Melting]

Day 2 again, BU 1st Sept.

 

I want to continue my NC journey, but you want to see me on Friday, which means I will break it. Just don't know what to do, part of me wants to see you and the other half wants to heal and move on.

[Lostlove26]

I feel like I haven't fully let go as much as I say I am I don't feel like I am because he is constantly on my mind its over powering. I have been putting a lot of things off in my life because I have no motivation to do anything. I don't know what or how should I really feel.. How should you feel after dating someone for two years to find out he lied about why we broke up and come to find out hes with someone new his step cousin It all seems surreal... I know I am denying it and I feel worse because I txt him I missed him like 4 weeks ago and then when I found out about his step cousin I want to confront him but instead I told him You put me through so much and that he sure as hell never deserved me. I mean did I do the right thing?? what would you have done.. I just know I have to let go and I have to stop putting things off in my life, but it's just so hard I am hurt in so many ways I don't know where to start.

[Moonchill]

He took back his friend request on facebook just as I was ready to accept it. It bothers me. I know it's for the best for the both of us but it still bothers me. I guess he changed his mind about it? I took a peek into his facebook and saw he added the other ex. He did not have her as a friend while we were together and now he does. And that bothers me too. I know I do this to myself and I will stop it right away. I have not checked his facebook for a LONG TIME. Months and months. And now I know why. I should just slap myself, this really does not make any sense. It must seem like I'm holding on to him for fun, but it's not.

 

Let it go already, you're wasting your time! *slap*

[Nagant]

16 days of NC. 4 weeks since the breakup.

 

NC is helping for sure! Though if I saw her in person I think I would have a bit of a breakdown, ha! (But that's part of NC too!). I don't really have a desire to talk to her anyway, since I know there's nothing to be done at this point, so that's also good.

 

I can say that I do still miss her, which I feel is 100% normal, so I accept that. Overall, the worst part about this is that she hasn't tried to contact me yet. That feeling of rejection is pretty hard to deal with, but I know understand that I am feeling better and time is helping.

[Melting]

Day 3 again BU 1st Sept.

 

As long as he leaves me alone, I will be fine. He won't let me go, but won't commit either. So, one of us has to be the strong one here and I know that isn't going to be you.

 

I do really regret getting involved with you, I should have known better.

[jolbell69]

BU 3rd July

9 weeks NIC and LC

17 days NC

 

God - I am missing you so much today!! I am reading a lot and spending a lot of my time getting to know myself again. I have realised some very important things this last 3 months, and one of the most important is that I hold grudges too easily and let them rule my life. I know this is why I could be needy at times during our 2 and 1/2 years together. I believe I am always looking for people to like me, and your love made me rely on you too much. This period is very painful, but also enlightening and cathartic for me, and for this; I am grateful. I had my tarrot read yesterday, and it was a very positive experience, and I hope the things that were said about my relationship with you can come true!! I hope you are also taking this time apart to look at yourself and see what is important.