Lostlove26
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Posts
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It's been 1 month since I last contacted my ex and 3 months since he broke up with me. The first week we broke up he txted me he missed me and that he has to do this for us. so I believed him and thought we need time so I gave it to him and we were together for 2 years. Well after about 3 weeks I asked him are we going to make this work out all he just kept saying was I want my space so I let it go and numerous times I asked if it was another woman and to just tell me he said no After two months of silence I txted him I miss him and that he doesn't miss me and I hate that. He never responded. I went through his fb because I had his password and found out he is in a relationship with his step cousin I was in complete shock and still can't believe it til this day. After txting him I missed him that day I hated myself and txted him back saying I never meant it and that he never deserved me after everything he put me through. Now here I am 1 month after that txt and I want to txt him or call him to confront him and tell him I know he is with his step cousin because i didn't tell him that I just don't know is it the right thing to do??? It hurts me soo bad and I can't understand why I want to call him and txt him sorry like I never meant that he never deserved me I am just so messed up and I don't know what to do and I don't think contact is a good idea even though I wish he knew that I know he lied to me and that I am hurting in a million ways and that for some reason I miss him and wonder why he hasn't even asked how I have been .....
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At this point I am numb.. I want to make new friends i just don't have much support and I feel so alone. I know your suppose to build your self and feel comfortable alone. I just miss those hours on the phone planning our life.
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Its been 3 months and I have the urge to txt you that I miss you again. The last time I txt you I got no response and I ended up pretending that I didn't miss you and txted you that You hurt me so much and you never deserved me in the first place. I just wonder what you thought when I txted you that. I have to fight my urge this will be the first month that I won't txt you I have to do this even though sometimes it tears me up inside.
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Thinking if i should go out and get wasted again or not... weekends are the worst because i remember waking up next to you on the morning weekends, and just cuddle.... I really want to unblock you on fb but i know ill c photos if u and her and as much as i want to know what your doing it prolly would hurt like hell so it's better not to know.
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I know there will be good days ad bad however I hope i start to have more good than bad. Today was a good day I thought about you as little as I could. Now I lay in my bed and I think to myself why do I still think about how you are and why I still want to at least get a txt hello or how are you. It seems those 2 and a half years meant very little to you. I know you have someone to I guess take your mind off of me a it's easier for you to forget right now i just hope there comes a time where you find my cards to you and pictures of us in that box that i put them in because I would always put away things and just maybe realize how much i cared for you. For now I hope I can stay strong and keep my faith or else I don't think this wound will mend. I hate that you've prolly forgotten me...
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I feel like I haven't fully let go as much as I say I am I don't feel like I am because he is constantly on my mind its over powering. I have been putting a lot of things off in my life because I have no motivation to do anything. I don't know what or how should I really feel.. How should you feel after dating someone for two years to find out he lied about why we broke up and come to find out hes with someone new his step cousin It all seems surreal... I know I am denying it and I feel worse because I txt him I missed him like 4 weeks ago and then when I found out about his step cousin I want to confront him but instead I told him You put me through so much and that he sure as hell never deserved me. I mean did I do the right thing?? what would you have done.. I just know I have to let go and I have to stop putting things off in my life, but it's just so hard I am hurt in so many ways I don't know where to start.
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I had a good weekend and glad i got out of town for a few days with my family. He was still on my mind, but it is 10 times worse when I am alone. I wish I could post something positive but it seems I am not there. I hate being alone and I hate feeling like I always need to talk to someone every time I get sad... I am trying to be strong and pull myself together but who am I kidding. I know this is part of the healing I just feel like I need to stop feeling so down all the time it's almost 3 months I just feel like I am failing myself... I want to be stronger...
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It's almost been two months y do I still think about you! I feel like I want to hate you... I wish I could hate you and just forget about you. It's becoming very draining to me mentally and physically... I've tired going out and working out the pain goes away a little bit I wish I could be stronger.. I'm wondering what is everyone else doing on here for the pain to go away... Its like everything I do there something to remind me..
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Having another one of those days always towards the weekend maybe cuz i miss cuddling and just watching movies the thought of you with her makes me so used. I don't understand how you could get over me so quickly...At this point I hope it catches up to you and that what goes around comes aroud
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Another hard day thinking about working out and channeling myself to working out... I love going out on the weekend but the pain only goes away for a little bit i wish the way I feel will just go away. I think being alone is what kills me.
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I feel your pain We gotta keep our head up these heartless ppl don't deserve our tears My ex is with a girl too and it's his step moms niece
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I had a good weekend but not a single goes by that I don't wonder about you and I don't understand why... I know i am way better off with you since you decided to date your so called cousin. I just wish i could speed up the process of pain. I know when I start to think about memories I remember who you are with know and it disgusts me....
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So yesterday I went through my exs tmobile account and he still has my number but then I c his cousins name ans it says babe! And all the call logs are under her number I want to vomit and I feel like I didnt mean anything from talking about marriage to having babies.. Im in disbelief.. I ended up txtin him I dont miss him and he put me through alot and I never want him in my life ever again. Its not his cousin but its his step moms niece he treated her like a cousin around me. I feel worthless and I am really lost I feel like I was nothin and that I am nothing how could he!
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I kinda lost track of how many days its been and i really don't know if I should re start since i just txt I missed him but he prolly doesn't cuz he didn't respond I don't think he cares about me and I feel like he might have someone else. It makes me want to not care but I still do. It's just been feeling unreal like I never dated him and we never were together for 2 years. My day is okay I just always seem to have a hard time at night. I just feel like he never existed now..