Moonchill Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 Ps. Don't you guys get sick of all the valentines day commercials? I know I do! Link to comment
Helpmetoheal Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 I'll second that!Ps. Don't you guys get sick of all the valentines day commercials? I know I do! Link to comment
peternaizeh Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 how will I spend Feb 14 and 15 (8th anniversary) without you?... First Time after so many years... More power to me... Link to comment
gabriella777 Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 Day 5 I thought I was doing good and I was... I was still thinking about him, but I was always angry while I was thinking what he did to me. I now miss him. A lot. He's still all I think about and I was surprised that I managed to get him out of my mind today and do some work for university. It's 3 am now though and I miss him really badly! I can't bear the thought that he might be ok, not thinking about me and being able to move on with his life. (from what he told me he is probably not ok but I don't know if I can believe anything he says...) The nights are the worst. This is the time when I can cry... I hate this... I thought I was fine! Why am I hurting so badly on the 5th day?? I don't want him back and I'm sure about that. Why am I hurting so bad even if I don't want him back? Why do I miss him? I don't want to be with him anymore... Link to comment
wingsoflead Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 2 months since it ended. Went first month with full contact....found out she was cheating on me with her ex and was dating him again. So tried to go full NC....she texted me a few times and i responded. Then I cracked and texted her myself and got into a convo.....starting from scratch. DAY 1 NO CONTACT Link to comment
The_Seeker Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 7 Months of Strict NC! WOOT WOOT! Ever since the breakup. Go me go me go me! Link to comment
apple89 Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 day 23.. i felt so good this past week, but today was so tough i just miss so many of things, his voice, his sweetness, our inside jokes, our goffyness when we were together, his hands, his greene eyes, .. i guess we all have out good and bad days Link to comment
michelle21689 Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 Day 14 NC. I miss him a lot, I think of him, I miss him, I love him, I want him back one day. Three weeks ago he broke up with me and ended our 5 1/2 year relationship. It was on pretty good terms...I think more clearer every day. I realized a lot of things about our relationship like my faults, great memories, why this could have happened. I noticed every time it's the end of the week I have a strong urge to contact him. I wait a while and see if I still feel this way, and end up not so I wait it out. I'm doing NC to heal so that I can be able to talk to him again without pain. I'm trying to move on with life and I know that in the end I will be happy with or without him. This is my time to focus on me and improve myself. Link to comment
Mrs Popsicle Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 Day One (again!) of NC. I've realised that I can't be friends with him while watching him destroy himself, and he is not interested in friendship- he wants me to be there to pick up the pieces of his broken life time and time again. I've done that too often. He's started to become especially manipulative, and it's making me wonder if he was like that all along and I hadn't noticed. Thats the hard part ,knowing that he probably hasn't changed a bit over the years, I've just started to notice it, started to accept it. It's like waking up from a dream or something. Link to comment
Janeiac Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 Day 25 Yesterday I had my teeth cleaned. It was long overdue. I'm embarassed that I'd waited so long, the were terrible and I needed the major scaling They look better now, and I've refilled my whitening kit too. Being involved with X stopped me taking care of myself. I didn't realize how depressed I'd gotten, because of him, until I started to feel better with him gone. I look prettier already! Link to comment
Mrs Popsicle Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 Day 25 Yesterday I had my teeth cleaned. It was long overdue. I'm embarassed that I'd waited so long, the were terrible and I needed the major scaling They look better now, and I've refilled my whitening kit too. Being involved with X stopped me taking care of myself. I didn't realize how depressed I'd gotten, because of him, until I started to feel better with him gone. I look prettier already! Great stuff Janeiac! It's amazing the things we let slide when we're feeling down isn't it? I've recently started taking a lot more care of myself (especially my fitness) and my ex asked 'who are you prettying yourself up for?' and I realised it wasn't for him ,wasn't for anyone- it was just that the moment I left him was the moment I started to respect myself- and that's not a coincidence! Mrs Popsicle Link to comment
anthony4 Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 Great stuff! I neglected my family, the people that love me unconditionally for her. This breakup is truly good for me and self-enlightening. Good for you Janeiac, and Mrs Popsicle. you go gals! day 22 since last contact or 21, not sure, doh Link to comment
Moonchill Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 NC day 27 already Just cycled for a few hours to collect some stones for my art project. After that I walked a half hour on the beach. Now I've got that rush you get after moving a lot. I'm feeeeeeeeeeeeling good! Decided to visit my grandmother on valentines to give something I made for her Link to comment
iamanne Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 He paid off his $3000 phone bill and as expected he texted me: i do love you. i just got tired of feeling like I made ur life miserable I read into that as if he was telling me, yes he still loves me (because he used DO and instead of DID) BUT, the things is, it appeared to me as him telling me he got tired because I made him feel like i'm miserable because of him.. so it's my fault now that I'm hurting? crazy! I replied because I cannot let my anger sit in my heart the whole day: Did you read what you just sent me? I didn't text and ask you if you still love me. Yes, you are correct, life was miserable when I was w/ u coz u betrayed me, lied to me while at the same time acting like youre being a real good bf making me feel like i shouldn't be mean to you because you have changed, all that bullcrap until i found out about your setup with your exwife. You're a sore loser and a pathetic liar. Pls leave me alone and don't ever text me again.. I just hope he won't text me anymore. I have already changed my passwords and stopped snooping in his accounts as well. Goodluck to me.. Link to comment
ClarenceRutherford Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 Day 25 Yesterday I had my teeth cleaned. It was long overdue. I'm embarassed that I'd waited so long, the were terrible and I needed the major scaling They look better now, and I've refilled my whitening kit too. Being involved with X stopped me taking care of myself. I didn't realize how depressed I'd gotten, because of him, until I started to feel better with him gone. I look prettier already! Never good to let yourself go. I'm not in a breakup or NC, but as others have read, have my own problems. I live alone now (am physically - not maritally - separated from my wife) and haven't been getting my hair cut as often as I used to. Have been going longer and longer between cuts to where it's long, but not unmanageable. (I didn't look like the Beatles did in the late 60s when their long hair made them look like girls !!!). The stylist the other day said, "Wow. You've gone like 7 weeks!!" She was right. It's shorter now like I like it. I do take baths and shave more often (I work from home and don't always leave my office). At least I have hair, though it's getting some gray hairs there. I'm not overweight either, thank goodness. Link to comment
simplyme01 Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 It's been awhile since I've posted on here. Haven't seen him in a little over a month since our break up. But we have had contact. Texting & phone calls. We are both torn, whether or not to try again. This has been quite the emotional roller coaster. I have learned a lot about me. Some things that hurt him & our relationship. I am going to counseling to work on these things. Although I think it's too late for us to try again, even if we did, there is no guarantee that it would work & I know I don't want to go through this again. In a way I haven't even begun to heal, since we've had contact often. So I can't even say DAY 1 NC, I don't think I've been ready to let go, even though I know I should. I miss him... Link to comment
Moonchill Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 I just want to take back saying I typed some hurtfull things to him in an email. I just re-read the last email I send him and you know what, it says exactly what I still mean! It's a very powerfull email and I do not regret it anymore. I just need to rant about this so here comes: He said to me he felt smothered all along! I can't believe it. I really want to feel indiffrent towards him but I can't because I can not get my head around it how you can fake being in love with someone. How can you be so cruel. How can you fool not only me but yourself telling yourself you're in love with me when the truth is you feel smothered by me. It hurts so bad that I believed him and his lies. I can't believe he faked his feelings for me all along! I don't know why but suddenly it hits me again. It hits me hard because I can not find logic in this. I can't understand it! I don't know how to believe someone else again with "being in love with me". I can't believe he really faked it all along for what? It was a long distance thing.. if you fake feelings for love why don't you search it nearby you?! Atleast he was being honest at last about one thing. But that happens to be the thing that hurts me and confuses me the most. Does someone know an anwer to that? ( I doubt it) Why would a man that feels smothered by your attention fake being in love with you for 2 whole months? It's not only that he said he was in love.. he just seemed so in love! Just the way he looked at me.. the way we made love.. the way he hold my hand and didn't want to let go... the way he whined about me leaving.. or the way he whined to me because he missed me so much. I feel betrayed even though he didn't cheat. I don't know why it suddenly bothers me again but it does. Just when I thought I was doing better... BAM... It's a good thing I saved that email.. just a reminder that I had a good reason to be upset, even though I'm not happy with being upset all over again. Dawr! Link to comment
Janeiac Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 Moonchill, maybe my experience will give you an answer: A few years ago I had a boyfriend who truly smothered me. He had to spend every night and day with me, he called me numerous times a day at my office, which was a problem because 1) I was crazy busy all the time 2)I was the boss and all my staff could hear every word because we all sat in one open room. He was in a band and insisted I go to every show, 4-5 nights a week until 2 a.m. or later, even though I had to be up at 6:20 a.m weekdays. He went into a rage if I talked to other guys-- at shows he expected me to stand there and watch him intently the whole time. He "borrowed" my apartment keys so he could change clothes one day between his day job and a band gig instead of having to go out of his way to his place and didn't want to give them back. There's more, but the point is clear. If I tried to talk to him about it, he would go nuts and a fight would start, so I just kept quiet to keep the peace, because I really did love him. I wasn't faking it. I sincerely loved him. But that smothering, jealousy and clinginess really killed it. I became a flake. The relationship went out of balance. I was unhappy, became depressed, and we fought. The relationhip ended. I broke up with him, and then tried to get him back with crying, begging, all that stuff. He never wanted to talk to me again, Crazy, I know. The point is, your ex could both love you and feel smotherd at the same time. But if you keep on smothering, the love will be gone. If you really want him back (maybe you don't) listen to what he tells you and GIVE HIM SPACE. Don't freak out that he needs space, be thrilled that he still wants you. I would have given a lot for that musician to want to work things out with me, to get back together and learn how to give space so we could BOTH be happy, instead of me feeling twisted up all the time. I'd STILL take him back if he ever came to that realization on his own. I think I wounded his pride, as it sounds like your ex did to you. If you want the relationship back, let go of pride (not self respect, you must shore that up) and give him what he needs to be happy. Link to comment
ClarenceRutherford Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 That's quite a story there Jane. Moonchill, that's good advice Jane provided. I've even heard my wife this past fall on one occaision say she needed her space. Maybe I'll post that one episode in my LDR marriage thread... I only wanted to put my arms around her from the back seat of the car we were in (she was riding in front) when she came for a visit.... Link to comment
Moonchill Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 Even though I really didn't behave the way your ex behaved ( thank god) I understand your advice. Thanks for reading my whole rant. Still it's difficult for me to understand because I feel that the feeling of being in love and the feeling of being smothered by the other do not match very well you know.Maybe because I have been on your side was well ( my other ex was really smothering me) but afterwards I know I felt he was smothering me because I was not as much in love with him as he was with me. That's why when I heard him talk about me smothering him I imidiately jumped to the conclusion he was not as much in love with me as I was with him ( and unfortunately felt the need to fake being in love ). But as you said it can work the other way around to (it can make you feel less in love indeed). I don't think it will be good for me to get back together with him because I don't think I can give him the space he wants when on the other hand acting very in love with me. English is not my first language so I find it very difficult to explain to you exactly what I mean but this was a try Link to comment
Moonchill Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 I agree with you FloridaMan, it's good advice indeed. But because of my own experience I guess I can't wrap my head around the following line completely: "The point is, your ex could both love you and feel smotherd at the same time" But your story, Janeiac, gives me surely a lot of stuff to think about Link to comment
Love1336 Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 It doesn't hurt anymore. But like i always million times here. I miss you. But i'm feeling normal again. Which is making me happy, but damn i miss you. Link to comment
apple89 Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 i agree with what you are feeling, lol i felt like my ex if anything was smothering me bc he would text me ALL day and send me million questions marks when i wouldnt answer, pay for me to go see him, would ask what was wrong if i wasnt giving him my atention would go PSYCHO over guys in my facebook.. and i was so crazy about him and all though i saw all this, i would just let it be and respond back.. to then he coming to me and saying i was "too clingy" .. SO STUPID, i was jsut responding to his actions.. and yes i am pissed, i feel betrayed too i feel like it was all fake from his side.. howerver when i would feel like i was too much i would ask him if he wanted space or if i was being clingy, and he alwyas said no and said "clingy is good"... yes a HUGE back stab.. and yesterday it just hit me again too.. i guess its part of healing we are gonna have our good and bad moments, just stay strong and keep NC over time it will all get better Link to comment
peternaizeh Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 4th Try... Failed Again... He gave me a thank you gift for valentine... So I texted him to say thank you. Link to comment
Janeiac Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 Day 26 This day is a little harder than some. I think it's because I stumbled accross some old pictures. He sure is a handsome guy. But he didn't treat me very well. In fact, the way he treated me, including the way he handled the breakup, makes me very sad. Bye-bye, jerko. Hello, ME. Link to comment
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