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lucky99, i went through the exact same thing,every time i would think that i would promise myself to never contact him again... however one day i started thinkgn about everythng that happened in that one month with NC... i did soo much, focused on jsut me, went out on dates, had fun, .. i felt like i truly did heal, i no longer was clingy and emotional, i was back to my own fabulous self, i took control of myself, so then i decided that now that im emotionally and mentally ready im to text him... i was sooo scared of his reaction (last time we talked he said horrible things).. but it turned out all for good, he apolozied, and talked to me like he used to, we didnt talk about us.. just friends.. it felt awesome... im now about to go home (i go to school in another city) and he asked me to see each other (im soo nervous i feel butterflyes again )... i did move on, but i didnt stop loving him, i knew that for our relationship to ever have a chance we had to work on each other... now well see, baby steps you know.... what im trying to say here is, only contact him if ur truly healed,and your are no longer that emotional burden that you were when he broke up with u, talk to him if you truly feel like you regained control of yourself.. bc its a 50 50 he might be willing ad open to talk to you, or he might still be a jerk.. however if you truly are healed, you will be ready for whatever reaction your ex has... rememeber NC is for healing for our OWN good, not to gain them back

thanks janeiac.. its harder now to keep NC though now seen the good guy again it makes me wanna have more of his atention.. before when he was so mean and cruel it just made me wanna run away from him in order to not get hurt, so NC was really easy... i hope i dont regret breaking NC and that it all turns out for good as of your ex yelling at you.. jsut dont answer, my ex said horrible things to me hurt me soo much... time will show them they were wrong, not our words or our actions.. keep being strong with NC and time will make it all better for both of you.. awww NC is sooo hardddddd now

day 30!.. and broke NC.. i texted him a hi, he answered imidiately, he apologized and said he didnt want me to hate him, i apologized back, asked me about me, how was school, my social life, and when i was going home.. we texted for 3 hours about how our lifes were..didnt talk about our relationship.... im good im not heart broken.. but that conversation reminded me of our old days.. hes back othe guy i fell for, that wonderful cearing guy not the monster narcisistic guy he became when he broke up with me.. i dont know if its good or bad.. i guess i kinda opened that door to a possible reconcilation.. who knows, however im back to NC.. until he contacts me.. if i try talking to him it will make me lose all the power i gained over this month. and he will regain power over me, and i dont wanna be there ever again.... im not gonna be in the friend zone bc i obviously still have feelings for this guy.. but at least that barrier of hate between me and him is gone.. and now.. i guess time will determine whats we will happen next.. i think that although i didnt get over him completely over this 30 day NC challenge.. i gained alot of things i could have not gained if i would of kept contact.. it would of made the realtionship more complicated, push him even further away, make me feel worse.. i gained power over myself and my own feelings, i started focusing on my own self, i started reconecting with my friends, i enjoyed myself without having to be sad with the feeling of his absence.. i gave him his time to forget about our bad moments, i started reflecting about what really went wrong and stopped blaming myself for everything,in a way i did move on.. doenst mean i stopped loving him.. but i did move on from all those emotions i had from breaking up.. i moved on with my life, left the relationship in the past, and not make it my present.. i dont know if we will get back anytime soon.. but im glad im in a such a great position right now. and im continuing NC.. i tought i wasnt gonna have the guts to ever talk to him again, i kinda swallowed my own pride, and im glad he said sorry.. for every one starting NC.. i know its hard, but trust me, even if u still have feelings at the end of NC, it will make u a better person, and this is more important than having him or her back, because nothing is better in this world, then beeing ok with yourself.. dont do this to gain them back, do this to heal, if you dont heal, they will never come back im back to NC!

day 26 i was so much better at the beginng of NC then what im now.. i really miss him but i dont want to have hope that he will come back bc i wont move on.. just sucks so much i feel like deep insde i still see the is perfect guy who i want back.. idk why he had to be so mean and heartless at the end, why the change, i sometimes wish hed see how special it was what we had and see that i was VERY good to him and preciate it.. but idk i feel like he wont ever see that.. im scared of being like his ex, chasing hom around.. i think im gonan keep NC till forever.. as much as i i want him back i dont think i have it in me to try to make him "fell for me" its stupid im a girl a guy should be chasin me not all the way around, specially after the way he treated me.. it just all sucks i feel like all his words were fake,nothing was real

i agree with what you are feeling, lol i felt like my ex if anything was smothering me bc he would text me ALL day and send me million questions marks when i wouldnt answer, pay for me to go see him, would ask what was wrong if i wasnt giving him my atention would go PSYCHO over guys in my facebook.. and i was so crazy about him and all though i saw all this, i would just let it be and respond back.. to then he coming to me and saying i was "too clingy" .. SO STUPID, i was jsut responding to his actions.. and yes i am pissed, i feel betrayed too i feel like it was all fake from his side.. howerver when i would feel like i was too much i would ask him if he wanted space or if i was being clingy, and he alwyas said no and said "clingy is good"... yes a HUGE back stab.. and yesterday it just hit me again too.. i guess its part of healing we are gonna have our good and bad moments, just stay strong and keep NC over time it will all get better

day 23.. i felt so good this past week, but today was so tough i just miss so many of things, his voice, his sweetness, our inside jokes, our goffyness when we were together, his hands, his greene eyes, .. i guess we all have out good and bad days

day 22 hmmm i dont know what i feel, sometimes i miss him sometimes im not.. gues im moving on?

19 days i dont think he will ever come back to me. i used to have some sort of hope, but i already let go of that im good i mis him but overrall good i kinda like this guy i found kinda cute when i was with my x... nothing serious bc idef dotn want a relationship at all at this point of my life, but he makes me feel good when im depressed over my x

day 11 feel vulnerable, i miss him so much.. i wish i culd know if he was coming back, the only thing i know is that im moving on regardles if he comes back or not.. im still good with myself although i miss him LIKE CRAZY

Simpleme, the way I see it and how I try to see it is at his not part of my life so its ALL ABOUT ME so therefore I focus on just want I want what I need to go and how I need to do it.. Trust me I miss my x like crazyyy but everytime I'm sad or weak I just focus on myself. .. It takes time but over time you see changes.. I started NC three weeks ago when first broke up.., though broke NC a week and a half after (biggest mistake) but regardles of how much I miss him the pain is decreasing bc I focus on ME ME ME and not think in if his with someone else or if his missing me or what is he doing.. Really be strong and just focus on urself slowly

day 8... i feel good i miss him still but im good with myself

day 7 i miss him today soo much.. however i dont feel like contactin him so its good!!!.. keeping mysefl busy to think about other things in life.. jsut trying to focus on myself me me me me and just me, this is my time to revealuate myself and improve myself.. it just so hard when u miss someone so much it sucks

my story: i just transfered to this new university (i was n texas, came back to fl) and as soon as i move in i start dating this guy (he lives at home where im from) so he basically would fly me everytime i couldnt drive to see him.. im an engineer major so i study ALOT so basically my weeks became all school catching up (bc i fell 3 weeks behind) and weekends devoted to my bf.. he the same, working all week and then weekends devoted to me.. i told him a few times how i was scared i wasnt meeting anyone in my new school and how i felt like he was becoming my only thing in my life.. he agreed however we never changed, we kept on going.. i never asked him to fly me or anything he always ofered (he flys for free so he would basically fly me free).. i dontknow if his a narcissitic or what i mean he does love himself ALOT.. i have never allowed my self be absored by anyone so much, except i felt for the frst time that i met a guy with all the qualities i want in a guy, i didnt have friends at my new school so yeah he was the only person i could talk to since i didn know anyone to be with during the weekends/free time...plus he was over demanding and jelaous (i have alot of guy friends) .. he also is 29and comes from a traditional jewish family so he feel slike he needs to get married soon (it made me get attached more to him bc although im def so far from getting married i didnt want him to find someonelse who is wife material and just get married-selfish i know)....so yeah i let myself be absorbed by the relationship... i guess he got tired which omg i agree i knew sooner of later one of us would get tired, but he kinda blames it all on me saying i was clingy i and that i took the relationship way to serious for what it was... i aslo believe u jsut dont fell out of love in a day, i wish u did bc other wise no one would ever be heat broken.. so hey if ur x told u he/she didnt love u anymore, i can reasure u its not the case, but what i can say is u are pulling them towards u to much, ur trying to hard and thats making them push u away and that moment of course they feel like the dont love u, bc they want to run away from you. i been soo heart broken before i have begged cried lost my self steam.. seriously i have done EVERYTHING with old relationships.. so i know NC is very important and if we ever get back toggether it has to be right u know not the same mistakes.. i know we had to break up for me to have the opportunity to enjoy my new university and focus on school.. NC will also give each of us our space to be good with ourselfs bc we cant be good with each other if were not good with ourselfs.. we became to attached to fast n i feel like i do love him... and believe me or not, thats a HUGE motivation to let him go.. bc love is understanding.. he doesnt want to be with me..f as much as it hurts i need to understand that and not pressure him.. "if you love somethign let it go" i said some mean things while drunk 2 weeks ago,.. but i apologized last wednesday with a text admiting my mistake (i didnt do it expecting any answer from him)... something tells me it didtn work bc of bad timing and that maybe in the future we could have a chance again.. i dont know.. but this time is all about me me me and just me so im just focusing on school, meeting people, get closer with my sorority sisters.. and really although i miss him so muchhh sometimes, i feel like i have no pain anymore.. i kinda jsut gave this to g-d and time to decide our future.. its hard though, regardles of his bads he truly is amazing (i hope he really is not narcissitic).. but as of me im just letting go and continue with my life bc i know NO ONE dies of love, yeah it is hard.. but like i said i been here before and as AMAZING as he is.. the first cut is the deepest and it just seems to hurt less every time.. im continuing my NC for whatevr it takes..if he comes back now it wont work bc i know that right now is not the time for us to be together bc i need to get my life and my own self back before i can be happy with him again.. but if im wrong ad we realyl dont have a "future" together, ill be fine to, bc i still going to live and learn and enjoyy every moment of happyness (im not gonan let depression win this battle).. my advise to everyone... live ur life, seriously she/he thinks about u she/he calls.. so what its YOUR life and only u can control that... if its not working for whatever reason that isnt working, its just not gonna work bc none of u guys have changed, something there is in conlfict, like with my x and i, i know the problem was bad timing for me he got to caught up in the relationship and he needed to escape.. i dot know only u know.. but hey if its meant to be, time will make it work out and if u guys get back together in the future it will be for the good no need for space, no need to wait for her/his texts , no anxiety, .. it will all just fall in place.. bc love is peace.. no conflict.. so think twice .. do u really want them back right now, KNOWING it wont work out bc something in the relationship is broken, and neither of you guys have changed.. really NO at least i know i dont if hsi gonna come back it will be for the good and we all deserve that but hey like the last words scarlette said in GONE WITH THE WIND.. "after all, tomorrow is a new day" bring it on DAY7!!!

day 6 super busyyyy!!! but i love it bc it means i have no time to think about him.. still kinda miss him/think about him, had a weakness momment after dinner and almost cried.. but damn it, i know the best solutions is to let go fo rmy own good and if i want some sort of future with him.. live my life everyday and enjoy each momnet of happyness.. went to class, did homework, wne to my sorority house, met with people to wokr on my some more homework.. now geting ready to go with my sorority sister for some drinks... having fun and keeing yourself is the best weapon.. that is why i love the week bc im just busy with living my life and i have no time to think about what was or could have been ready for day 7

floridaman.. thank you so much, im trying to be as rational as i can and less emotional everyday .. anways, a year ago when i broke with my bf (i was way worse then what im right now) i had soo many things that would connect me to him.. and places were definetely worse.. but what did was, go to those same places, with new friends that you absolutely love and create a new awesome memory in your brain.. after i started doing that, i would go to these same places and i would smile bc i felt like i was in such a better position now then when i used to be before i revesited that spot and it just made me so much stronger and happier to see that progress.. same with activities, my x and i would alwyas get red box on sundays and have lazy sundays.. i took my awesome roomate with me and started doing it with her.. soon my whole lazy sundays memories were replaced with my new memories with my rooamte... lol i know its a bad example, but you know use with everything i know piruru talked about how smoking reminded her of her x bc she use to do it with him.. well go and find a smoking partner and do with them and start rebuildng new momories on top of those memories...its hard the first time you do it, but as a long term it really helps.. make it as fun as possible so that it will remian in your brain and cover that old memory