gabriella777

Day 5 I thought I was doing good and I was... I was still thinking about him, but I was always angry while I was thinking what he did to me. I now miss him. A lot. He's still all I think about and I was surprised that I managed to get him out of my mind today and do some work for university. It's 3 am now though and I miss him really badly! I can't bear the thought that he might be ok, not thinking about me and being able to move on with his life. (from what he told me he is probably not ok but I don't know if I can believe anything he says...) The nights are the worst. This is the time when I can cry... I hate this... I thought I was fine! Why am I hurting so badly on the 5th day?? I don't want him back and I'm sure about that. Why am I hurting so bad even if I don't want him back? Why do I miss him? I don't want to be with him anymore...

I'm on day 1 of no contact at all. I would be in day 3, but the other day he decided to email me for something completely unimportant and irrelevant. I take the challenge!! I miss him... I was in the university library today studying. I used to go in the library, get on a computer and talk to him and not study... Today I had to study... or waste some time on facebook looking at other people's statuses. I want to find out what's been going on with him. I'm really tempted to log in to his email address and fb to see... I want to find out whether he's been missing me or not...