THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Theblueman123]

Day 6

 

Well when I started the NC I guess I did randomly cut off my ex randomly. Should I tell her whats going if she tries to contact me again since she did call me a few times already when I was on NC and I ignored it.

 

Send her a message stating that you don't want her to contact you. Don't give a timestamp or a date for how long it will last. You're doing this for your own healing, you come first.

 

Send her that message and keep doing NC, but don't start over (Just send her that message, don't reply or respond to anything else). NC is for healing, and when you have healed and changed, then you can intiate contact, but for now your ex deserves nothing from you.

[HeavyD]

but for now your ex deserves nothing from you.

 

This is so true. Hard to realize for 99% of the heartbroken, but it's the truth. You just had your heart ripped in half, your dreams crushed, and your entire world turned upside down, probably all within a day. And now, they are going to toy, tease, and play with your emotions until you give the reassurance that yup - this was the right thing to do. Well DON'T! Like Blueman said, they deserve nothing from you. Once your healing and reflection is complete, and the bitterness has subsided, you will see things in an entirely new light. It is then, when you can make contact.

[ackerman]

just over 3 months for me now i still miss her everyday... started playing football of a sunday again and got some new web work in to keep me busy. i have not removed her hairband from my bedside, i want to keep it there as a reminder of my happy moments with her and for future hope. i always thought she might get back in touch with me but ive realised it isnt going to happen. the only good thing for me is i dont cry anymore, just the thoughts and wishes.

[stargirl1980]

Day 14.

 

I barely miss him at all now. This is way easier than I thought it'd be.

[MNmike]

I went back to starting over because I looked at her facebook. So I deactivated my account to make it easier.

 

The weird thing happened Thursday. I was thinking how its been 2 months since I saw her. I went to the city where she lives, to see someone. I was on the road right before I was at my destination in traffic. Out of all the thousands of cars on the road I look over and shes stopped in traffic right beside me. She looked over and her eyes were big, she was as surprised as me. She kinda waved and looked straight ahead. So we started moving and I looked back she was looking right at me. I could see on her face that it was not someone so happy and content as she wanted me to think. She tried to smile, but it looked like she was going to cry. I wanted so bad to call or text her. But I kept going. That look told a lot. I know she still cares. But NC it is.

[Mustachio]

Day 18 down the drain.

 

Been an odd emotional rollercoaster the past 3 or 4 days. Been doing a lot for myself to move on, switched phone plans (which i waited to do because of the ex), made firm plans to move out of my parents, went on a date, and just generally been doing a lot of positive things for myself.

 

They all feel good, but very strange. Strange in the sense that I am moving on and it feels... well, good. But at the same time, its sad because the part of me that doesnt want to move on is going away, and sadness at what is being lost.

[HeavyD]

Hello day 13. Day 12 was a wreck. It's been raining the past 4 days nonstop. Haven't seen the sun once. I swear if I lived in seattle I would kill myself.

 

Last night was the first time I've cried in probably 3 weeks... I don't know what happened - I thought I was way past this. A friend said she invited her to a party, and just hearing someone say her name was like a boot to the stomach. It hurt so bad and I just lost it. Every ounce of feeling came rushing back like a tsunami, it was terrible. I pray that tomorrow will be better. I thought I had everything under control... Guess it shows just how unbelievably powerful our souls can really be sometimes.

[sarge1991]

day 15

 

i was home all weekend, it was good overall... im hearing all these things and i dont know if its true. It bothers me but not as much as this hangover.

[chazxoxo]

back to day 1

[coolchick64]

back to day 1

 

what happened, chaz?

[coolchick64]

Day 6

 

I'm spiraling again.

[bravebird]

One week NC today. This time last Sunday we were having dinner together "re-connecting"...lol.

[Hobbes]

Good luck with your NC everyone.

[HeavyD]

I know this is petty (im not saying she had to stay with me as i bought her material goods!) but seriously some people will go through life not seeing the big picture

 

Yea you just gotta let that stuff go. It's hard because you put so much effort (money) into helping her, and they look right past it.

 

I built a vanity for my GF when she was remodelling her bathroom. It's a contemporary style, all stainless steel, something in a store would retail around $5000 easily. The materials cost about $400, and I charged her nothing for the 120+ hours of bending/welding/cutting/polishing that it took to make it perfect... All for nothing. At least I know there will be a piece of me bolted in her house forever

 

Let it go man, let it go... Day 13, slept til 3pm today. Feeling kinda numb.

[JustOneSecond]

Broke a week of NC to wish him a happy birthday. Didn't expect a reply. But he texted at 4 in the morning to say his night out turned out badly. Don't know why he thought to do that. If he's thinking about me at 4 in the morning I hope he's feeling as awful as I do about this.

 

Don't know what he wants to gain from randomly texting, then not texting back if i reply. Does he just want reassurance that I'm hanging on even though he ended it? Truth is any kind of contact from him makes me feel happy Really can't shake the hope that he still wants me. Back to day one.

[Anonymous3]

Day 12...so close to giving in and sending a pathetic message begging to be put out of my misery.

 

As I've said, I'm in Africa at the moment...it's 4AM here, and I just woke up for no reason with tears in my eyes. Not crying, just all teared up, with a little lump in my throat. I must have had a dream or something, but I desperately want to just ask her to help me...shoot the injured horse. I instantly started thinking about all the nice, sweet little things she said to me while we were together...and combined that with the coldness in which she dumped me. I think it's a combination of homesickness even though it's only been two days, and loneliness.

 

Whatever it is, it really sucks, and I want it to stop. It's taking everything I have not to send her a message begging her to talk to me. But I refuse to become that pathetic.

[HeavyD]

Good. Keep refusing. Hang in there Anon, you'll be alright. Think about it this way, you're coming up on 2 WEEKS of living without her. In the grand scheme of things that's not even the blink of an eye. Every day you go without her is another day you become stronger. Don't cave. You sent the email, with no response, leave it at that. Africa must be nice these days, we're coming up on 5 straight days of rain...

[MNmike]

About 2 weeks since last e-mail. I am not counting the facebook checking as day one again. So I am sticking to the 2 weeks.

 

I don't see the strange coincidence of seeing her in traffic the other day as contact. That was just unbelievable. The look on her face made me feel better though. Shes not over me yet.

[Anonymous3]

Yeah, the weather here is decent...the southeast states have been cold and rainy for a week now. Not even rainy, this weird mist...not fun weather.

 

It's technically been a month and a week since I've seen her, a month since we "talked" in a quick chat...seems like much longer. It just takes a while to shake that mindset, once you've started thinking about them again. Being in a third world country where you have nobody to talk to doesn't help either. I have a staggering amount of work to do, I don't feel well, I can't sleep, and my cell won't send texts right now...

 

It's pretty upsetting to think about all the things she said she'd do to help me through this trip, and here I am...abandoned. Let me just walk down to the front desk and start speaking Swahili to Tito (actually the guy's name.) I'm sure he'd love to hear all my problems.

[OrganicBalloon]

Day 7

 

I thought I was getting better but I saw a "recent event" listing when I signed in facebook and I started thinking of her. Then i started to miss her again. Should I remove her from my friends list on facebook? And what should I do with the stuff, "inanimate objects", that remind me of her.

[Mustachio]

Day 7

 

I thought I was getting better but I saw a "recent event" listing when I signed in facebook and I started thinking of her. Then i started to miss her again. Should I remove her from my friends list on facebook? And what should I do with the stuff, "inanimate objects", that remind me of her.

 

Well removing her from your facebook page will allow you to stop pulling it up and looking at her page, etc etc, so yes, it probably would be helpful to your healing process. Take all that other stuff and either get rid of it, or put it in a box and stick it somewhere you wont be tempted to take it out and look at it.

 

And, day 19 here (I think). Still thinking of her, but I have done so much recently to push myself forward and push myself on with my life. It was a good ending to what was otherwise a rainy and gross weekend.

[Singler]

Day 16.....

felt really bad this morning, only cause I know how his new interest looks, and although I am pretty she is complete oppisite of me and his ex..... but I have to stop myself from thinking about him and her because we are done, he did email congrats on the arrival of my nephew in which I did not respond.

[Queen1607308152]

Day 1,

Well, after reading a dozen of these post I realize that I cannot wait anymore. I first read this post yesterday and I said I would join today and honestly I don't want to because I really love him and there are still some ties that I guess I don't want to break but have too. I tired of feeling like this. I went for this mess for three years and now its over. I can't do this anymore so I must make a change starting today. I kept telling myself Queen wait and see if he call back before you accept this challenge, see if you guys will get back together, and etc...but it doesn't matter; nothing matters anymore but me and my wonderful children. Yes, everyone I hate the person he was to me and I hate that I thought for a moment he loved me but I love the person that's accepting this challenge. I don't know what the future holds for me but I am clear on what the past led me. October 19, 2009 at 1:27 p.m. I'm making a promise to myself and everyone on here that I'm done with him and I'm also realizing that he don't and didn't deserve me. I know this will be hard its a challenge but just knowing that there is a lot of support here gives me hope that I'll be OK. So NC challenge here I come!!!

[coolchick64]

Day 7

 

Having a lot of mixed feelings. Cried this morning. Better this afternoon. Feeling very edgy and sad at the moment. Maybe an hour at the gym will help. I just feel the weight of the situation settling in on me and sometimes it's hard to breath.

[quirky]

cyberhugs coolchick ((((((( ))))))

 

good luck Queen