Queen1607308152

Day 2, It's really not day 2 I broke NC as soon as I signed up for the challenge yesterday. (Although he initiates contact) I don't hate my x but I dislike his ways. I probably need NC but I like the conversation. I don't want him back so maybe we can be friends one day.

Day 1, Well, after reading a dozen of these post I realize that I cannot wait anymore. I first read this post yesterday and I said I would join today and honestly I don't want to because I really love him and there are still some ties that I guess I don't want to break but have too. I tired of feeling like this. I went for this mess for three years and now its over. I can't do this anymore so I must make a change starting today. I kept telling myself Queen wait and see if he call back before you accept this challenge, see if you guys will get back together, and etc...but it doesn't matter; nothing matters anymore but me and my wonderful children. Yes, everyone I hate the person he was to me and I hate that I thought for a moment he loved me but I love the person that's accepting this challenge. I don't know what the future holds for me but I am clear on what the past led me. October 19, 2009 at 1:27 p.m. I'm making a promise to myself and everyone on here that I'm done with him and I'm also realizing that he don't and didn't deserve me. I know this will be hard its a challenge but just knowing that there is a lot of support here gives me hope that I'll be OK. So NC challenge here I come!!!

Look I know that we are not together any more and I understand. I know that you don't owe me anything although, on the inside I feel like you do. I really hate that I feel this way but I must get over it and it must begin today. This is the only way for me to move on. I just want you to listen to me and allow me to say what I have to say. First of all I want to say that I am not really sure why and when you stop loving me or even if you ever loved me. But I know I was good to you in the relationship and it doesn't matter what you think. Secondly, I want you to know that I know more about how you cheated on me with M@@@ as well as other women that you met online and here in the city. I never said nothing about it because i felt like I would lose you. But I lost you anyway! I can't continue to talk to you as if were friends and I like you because we are not friends and i truly don't like you. I also want you to know that I hate the way you treated me. I allowed you to cheat on me and emotionally abuse me everyday. Although it may have not been everyday, it sure felt like it. I also want you to know about the headaches that you gave me. I don't understand why you did the things you did but I do know you did them. I sometimes feel like you them because I allow you to do. All I know is that today is the last day I will allow you to have all the power. Its today that I say good bye to you and all that you are made of. I always wished that you would change but you could not change because you didn't care about me and now I realize that. SO BYE!

I don't understand It seems if I did you wrong but it was you that constantly cheated and mistreated me. I don't want to hate you but with everything you say and everything I know now, its become increasingly hard. I just found out today that you have been cheating on me with her and others for a long time. You treated me like I was nothing and I treated you like you were a king. I really thought I wanted to be your friend when you left me but I realize that you are not really worth me friendship. Another thing I want to tell you, I'm tired of being stupid for you. When you left you took so much of me with you. I don't understand how you could do this to me after everything I accepted from you. And what makes it worst is that I still love you but I can honestly say I don't like who you revealed to me. I did not deserve how you treated me and I can't believe I'm still being nice to you after all you done. I know you feel like I'm the reason we did not work but the truth is, we didn't work because I wasn't what you wanted. The only thing I wish is that you left long time ago. That way I would be over you by now. And its sad that even though you broke up with me you still feel the need to hurt me. I want to hate you so muchhhhhhhhhhhh but my heart still love you to much. I hope that she can make you happy since I never could, BYE!!