chazxoxo

back to day 1

day 4 ex texts me somehow knows ive been in hospital not sure how? unless its a good guess as ive been in and out a few times recently and he's pretty good at calling my bluff but whatever, he wants to know if im ok. not sure if its genuine concern (though i highly doubt it!) or if he's just trying to get a response, last time i tried NC he text me after 8 days just to wind me up and didnt bother with me again once id replied. i think he's just checking to see if im still waiting around (he has played me around for the last 5 months and then going back to his g/f) makes me so mad i have been a complete doormat and 4 days ago when i started NC i specifically told him not to contact me unless he wants to talk about getting back together as i need to move on. its soooo hard not to text back as i want him back so bad, jut decided to turn my phone off. still cant help wondering if i dont reply if he will bother to contact me again at some point

Day 2 I miss him, but stopped myself sending a stupid text this morning. i need to accept the fact that i dont think ill ever hear from him again. i just cant seem to let go of hope. this had better get easier

hey, im fairly new here but ive been reading thee threads for a while and from that decided i definatley need to go NC. Im still so in love with my ex but he now has a new gf, however he keeps breaking up with her and coming back to me telling m he loves me blah blah blah but ive now realised its all a bunch of lies and he just wants to keep me hanging around incase he decides to break up with her for good. atm thy are back together and i am being ignored. i cant keep it up anymore i need to get over him only problem is he has been leading me on telling me he loves me an dumping her over and over for 5 months and each time he has gone back to her i have cried,texted, emailed called, facebook messaged him and quite frankly made myself look pathetic! i just get myself into such a stateabout things bcuse it hurts when only a few days before he decides to cut me off he is either at my house with me, saying we are going to be together or texting calling me telling me we are meant to be blah blah blah and that she doesnt really mean anything to him, he says he just doesnt wana upset her and is finding it hard to break things up for good. its so stupid because i am allowing myself to be used and it needs to stop now. i know NC is for getting over them and healing which is what i want but i would also like to try and get some of my dignity back can going NC change the dumpers view of us?? i dont want him to remember me for all the crying and begging ive done and think that ill always be a sure thing and that he can pick me up and drop me when he wants but im scared the damage is now done. i want him to see that he cant controll me anymore and that i can be a strong person and i eventually want to be completley over him and not care what he thinks anymore. i went NC for 8 days just over a week ago but as soon as he realised i wasnt contacting him he text me telling me he loved me and i stupidly gave in and replied and of course decided to ignore me after that so here i am starting day 1. anyone else having a hard time with NC and who would like to talk i would like to have a NC buddy