THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[looking4ward]

Doing ok, halfway trhough day 4 and really want to email and tell him I miss him. But I won't. If he wants me back it's going to take a serious gesture from his end. I've done enough for this relationship and without him putting in some effort it's done, period.

 

But gosh i do miss him

 

-K

[wish_on_a_star]

Day 20 for me...wow I can't believe I got this far...ten more days before we talk again. although I shouldn't be concentrating on that, but on myself, however, I feel like I need to plan what to say to him when he calls, which he said he will, after one full month of NC...nearly there, with low expectations though, keeping hope..

[bronte]

Jonas, I can totally relate to the feeling of missing your best friend--I have a lot going on in my life right now and I keep thinking, "Oh, wait till I tell [my ex] about this!" and then catching myself. It's weird to not be able to share either the really bad feelings I have right now (the sadness about the break-up) or the good feelings (excitement about a new job) with the guy who used to be there for absolutely everything.

 

wish_on_a_star, the last time I did this (previous break-up) I had a date when my ex was "allowed" to contact me, and I remember how nervous I got as that date approached! *hugs* I would try not to think about it for a few more days (hard, I know!) and then maybe do some journaling to help you collect your thoughts...

 

I guess I've almost made it through Day 5. This weekend is really tough! I can't believe I'm looking forward to going back to work on Monday...

[looking4ward]

He contacted me today- a family member died. I responded with sympathy and offered to talk if he wants too.

 

Still calling it day 4.

 

-K

[fruitapus09]

Day 22

My appetite returned this week, have to be careful because I was really enjoying my new look! Dropped 15 lbs since February, about half from getting a dog and walking at least 3 hours a week with him. The other half is probably a combo of breaking up with my ex and then a month later meeting and falling for the object of my NC...

 

Anyway, last night was the best night of sleep I've had in ages. Hope today goes well. Still think of him when cuddling up to go to bed or waking up in the morning. Mornings were my best time with him, hope I have the chance to have more.

 

Still debating on whether I will contact him after my crazy work schedule calms down in mid-August. I am surprised that after not seeing for him for a month, I still have these feelings for him. Everyone assumes that I made up these feelings, but could I really fake it for a month? I find myself comparing every other guy I meet to him, and not interested in any of them.

 

As part of NC I decided not to look at the pictures I have of him, but I feel like I should, just to make sure I'm really still attracted and not just making that up in my head.

[looking4ward]

Day 5- doing ok.

[Jordan5571]

Day 1006 and thinking of breaking NC tomorrow. See post in healing after breakup. All advise welcome.

[BriarRose]

DAY 1: WISH ME LUCK.

I know he doesn't really care about me and just wants me for FWB which I don't want.

[lostandunhappy]

Day 6.

Been out to dinner with my family which was great.

 

Good Luck Miss Kitty my thoughts are with you I know you can do it.

[BriarRose]

Thank you, Lost....keep us posted....

[quirky]

Miss kitty

gather all the pride you have, pretend you have lots of excess strenth and stay NC. If you don't feel strong act as if you were and you'll become it. On this board a lot of people are giving it their best shot and that keeps everyone going I think.

 

good luck on this marvellous journey!!!!!!! (sarcastic joke)

[SunniDee]

Day 10. Feeling great. No stress or drama that he loved to force into my life. Just peace.

[quirky]

day 12

 

feeling a little insecure about not having someone to fancy me, tell me I'm pretty and all that..also I found myself anticipating to finish the songs I'm writing cos I know how proud of me he'll be and how much he'll like them. Above all of course I will be proud of me but it did cross my mind..

[bronte]

Wishing you luck, Miss Kitty! If he just wants a FWB situation it's definitely a good idea to go NC for a while.

 

Day 6 for me. It's my mom's birthday so I'll be doing family stuff tonight and then getting ready for work tomorrow when I get in from that...Looks like I made it through the weekend without contacting him! *pats self on the back*

 

I do have to confess, though, that I've been a total coward and have stayed off AIM all weekend to lessen the chances of his contacting me. Since I didn't go into NC after a new fight but because being friends is just too awkward and painful for me right now, I'm not sure what I would do or say if he were to contact me. (I know, ideally nothing! But he's grieving the loss of "us" too, so I don't want to make things harder by being cold to him.) Seems best to avoid the situation by not giving him an easy opportunity to make contact until I've done a bit more healing...

[JonasWaingaro]

Day 9 -

 

Crazy. Woke up in a weird mood. Not the usual dread, that came later. Booo. Been hard not breaking down and emailing her. Hating this feeling of 'forbidden fruit' on a pedestal out there. That I have to be scared to communicate with. How strange. Found myself wanting to send her an email about something I saw, usual joking things I did before. Felt sad and dumb that I couldn't. Sheesh.

 

 

 

I wish ya luck MissKitty! You can do it.

[looking4ward]

Day 6.

 

Some LC about a family member passing- I was supportive but back to NC for now. Need to continue to get my emotions together. Overall feel much better than the first couple weeks, doing ok.

 

-K

[getting_on_ok]

I am on week 5 weeks and I want to break it.

[icyness]

I broke it after a week and I feel horrible.

 

I feel like I'm going to stay stuck like this forever.

 

Why did I do it.

[SnowFox]

what did you do icyness? maybe it wasn't so bad?

[icyness]

I texted him a few times knowing he wouldn't answer and of course he didn't. I can't believe I let myself cave.

[JonasWaingaro]

I broke it after a week and I feel horrible.

 

I feel like I'm going to stay stuck like this forever.

 

Why did I do it.

 

Aww icyness, don't be so hard on yourself. It's not easy when you care so much.

[icyness]

Thanks JW.

 

I just feel like such crap. Right when I think I'm making progress I back up about 10 steps. Why can't I just let go.

When will it go away.

[getting_on_ok]

I am with you, I haven't made contact, but I know its useless because she more then likely had someone else.

[wish_on_a_star]

Thanks JW.

 

I just feel like such crap. Right when I think I'm making progress I back up about 10 steps. Why can't I just let go.

When will it go away.

 

Don't worry, you will get there, slowly. I remember I used to feel exactly the same way..kept breaking NC every week, and then my ex would say the same thing over and over again, until one day, you feel like you NEED to heal, you feel like moving forward is the only option left and then you finally go Nc and stick to it...I did this and so can you, I'm on day 22, and trust me when you get this far, you will feel much stronger! Good luck

[quirky]

icyness, it's not 10 steps back. Even 10 days teaches you something I believe..

Let's be strong guys. If they wanted it enough we wouldn't be here!

 

day 13

and I have to discipline my thought cos I've started thinking all the good things about him. He put up some of his drawings on facebook and it made me think how much I like his work, how much he likes my music

 

I'm gonna remind myself WHY this is over. WHY i'm on this thread and WHY I started all these lovely (?!) threads -"where is the love", "dating a selfish/manipulative person" blah blah - months before it even ended!