THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[IntegrityGal]

Day 12.

This sight is helping me a lot! That's where I am right now. If we could put a scale on the craziness going on in my head, when I signed up I was at 110%, now I've eased up and I'm at like 90% feeling crazy. It's a little less often and a little less exhausting.

 

All of a sudden I realize WHEW! I wasn't obsessing over him the minute that just passed! Hey that was peaceful!

I'm focusing on being selfish, gaining control, and getting started with my self-building schedule........ Back to me again... yeay!

[emptyinside70]

After being broken up for a month, and not friends for a month. Today is officially Day 1 of strict no contact. No facebook checks, no texting, and of course no phone calls. No more cheating myself.

[FriendnorFoe]

Day 63, found out the number by looking at my last thread when she called, I dunno what it is but the last couple of days I have been very irritable, I think my trust in people is gone, I just feel so aggressive towards everything.

[Gateway]

Day 63, found out the number by looking at my last thread when she called, I dunno what it is but the last couple of days I have been very irritable, I think my trust in people is gone, I just feel so aggressive towards everything.

 

Day 17 for me and i'm more depressed than anything. I'm cryish all day long (i feel like i am so weak). I too don't trust anyone. But im not irritable, I have no fight in me what so ever.

[SnowFox]

tonight I am reflecting on our relationship and history together and I am thinking that I may not want him if he chose to come back.

 

I love him but his actions have caused me to look at him in a new light.

[Gateway]

tonight I am reflecting on our relationship and history together and I am thinking that I may not want him if he chose to come back.

 

I love him but his actions have caused me to look at him in a new light.

 

Yeah I have done the same reflection, I'd love to have her back at her best not some of the other behaviors though.

 

I feel sooooo stupid to be in my mid 30's and feeling this way.

[SnowFox]

Gateway - I think its a sign of being healthy that we question our feelings for someone who wanted to end things with us. Truly....I mean, why should we want someone who doesn't want us?

 

I know for myself, since my ex(?) had a meltdown over money/finance/career/kids, and I know he loves me, I have the date August 17th on my calendar.

 

Given the history with him, he knows that it is now or never. So, I have some comfort knowing there is a definitive end to this on my end. I won't be falling into that friends role or any of that type of stuff.

 

He will either realize that he truly can't live without me or he will lose me forever.

 

I can understand how people who have a shorter history with people can't do something like this, but since I have a longer history with this person, I know that walking away in 2 months is really the only choice I have.

[FriendnorFoe]

Day 17 for me and i'm more depressed than anything. I'm cryish all day long (i feel like i am so weak). I too don't trust anyone. But im not irritable, I have no fight in me what so ever.

 

that will pass, u are still in the starting phases, I was that way, and now am just fed up with everything, at least its motivating me to work out

[SnowFox]

I wanted to post this quote - I don't know where it came from, but I think it has a lot of truth to it and is a good reminder. A harsh truth, but a truth nonetheless.

 

You cannot wrap your thoughts and dreams up in something that will depend on the cooperation of another person. Other people have free will, and God will never take that away from them - so it is very important that you fill your mind with the dreams and visions of a new life that YOU can manage on your own. That way, your guardian angels can go to work. Remember the serenity prayer? The things we cannot change are always other people. The things we can change are always things about ourselves and our homes and lives and careers. You MUST guard your heart where other people are concerned and never imagine that they owe you, or should do something for you. Just take it as a bonus if they do.

[ACarrington]

Its now time to officially start... Day 2.

 

My moods are so fluctuating I feel like I'm bipolar... Sometimes I will feel so sad I just want to lay in bed with this horrible anxious feeling inside my chest that won't go away, then I will feel free of these anxious feelings and just be calm... Today this happened in 2 to 3 cycles... Im taking summer classes away from home and I told my mom I want to come home, she told me "You can't come home every time something goes wrong! You have to suck it up. You'll be fine." So if my softy of a mom can look at it that way, I better damn well try to do as she said!

[gottabelieve]

Day 9

 

Feeling stronger and stronger each day. Had an incredible date last night, which doesn't hurt either... but at the end of the day, you just have to keep moving in the right direction and creating memories without the ex.

[quirky]

Day 7

 

Sucks.., wondering what he's doing, if he met someone else, how he could let me go, why did he take our connection for granted...all that. what an idiot, i hope he regrets it.

[CFD656]

Day 5

 

Doing much better... thoughts of her aren't creeping into my mind nearly as much. The fact that she's talking to some other guy isn't bothering me as much, either.

[toni2007]

Day 10

 

I still haven't slept or heard from him. I am slowly accepting the fact that it's over and it's for the best. I was thinking about Day 1 and how I felt...I've come a long way. Today is a good day!

[CanesGirl85]

Day 31.

 

I'm surprised yet really proud that I got this far actually. I still have the urge to see him or to maybe say hi to his family...by stopping by or calling, but deep down I know better. The nonchalance that he greeted me with the last time I saw him over a month ago keeps me firm and keeps me looking ahead in whatever I do these days. I sent a Father's Day card before my vacation with some money for his father that went totally unanswered-not even a thank you...not that I should have sent it anyway, but even that puts the message solid in my head that it is time to let go.

 

Near the end of me and the ex's relationship, it was on and off, and my ex never wanted to label us anything. Never wanted to solidify things by naming us boyfriend and girlfriend, but he DID want to have fun with me, and did want to sleep with me. Unfair. I go forward knowing I was loving, I did everything I could, and a guy in the future (not too near as I have no interest or trust for dating) will be head over heels to be in a relationship with me and be proud to call me his girlfriend.

 

I don't know if my ex will ever come back. I don't think so, because right now because it HAS been over a month since I saw him and he hasn't even texted ONCE or called ONCE, I think that makes it clear where I stand with him. I told him when I walked away from him to stop playing games and to call me when he is serious, I don't think he ever will now, so this next month, month 2, I will really kickstart my recovery and move on knowing he is gone.

 

I still have my moments. Sometimes, I will cry for no reason, or because I remember something sweet from the beginning that I miss, and might not hear or experience again. I remember some quirk about my ex that makes me moody or sad because I start to miss him. But now I try to counter those thoughts with knowing how he treated me bad or took my love for granted, or called me needy and basically treated me like a burden. Sometimes I put him high up on the pedestal and get scared that he has forgotten about me or found another girl...and it gets me sad. But then I remember that if he HAS forgotten about me, he was never meant for me, and that I cant waste my feelings on him. OR if he has found a new girl, and that's what he wants, and if he has moved on that fast, then fine, he had a habit of going for easy girls before me, because I was never easy and I always had good morals and was "pure" as he put it- then if a casual girl and casual relationship is what he wants, then he can have that AND his immaturity and I will NOT be losing out. He will be the one losing out because he won't be with me. Each day hopefully gets better, I just take ech day as it comes, to sort through my feelings and eventually feel better without him.

[emptyinside70]

Day 2

 

Cried last night after thinking about calling her. Still thinking about calling her. My situation is we had a misunderstanding via text I tried to apologize and I don't know if she ever saw the apology. Later that night I noticed she deleted me as a friend on facebook. Her birthday passed and I didn't acknowledge it. A month later I send her a friend add with the message "I'm sorry. I made a mistake. I hope you're doing well." I noticed after a few days it was either ignored or deleted so I still don't know if she knows that I'm sorry. I really want to call her and tell her that I'm sorry so that I can know she finally knows I'm sorry and that's it. I can't be friends with her still and she does not want to be with me. Having another rough day.

[ajaxgreater]

Day 3 of No Contact... have felt better each day. More importantly... Day 3 of no facebook stalking

[SnowFox]

Today is one exact week of total NC.

 

Today I feel pretty good.

 

He knows what he is losing if he lets me go.

 

I only want a man who is crazy about me, so if he isn't, then by definition, I do not want him.

[IntegrityGal]

this is what i'm having trouble with today...

These are his words when we were breaking up...............

his hesitations killed the warm fuzzies, which makes it hard to grow. Leaving me hanging like the intent is to clear the problem and then to eventually (after he's ready) get to growing. Now he didn't promise it would be with me, but he was writing it too me. But it's feels like its all up in the air.!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[gottabelieve]

Day 10 - Happy I've made it. Woke up with a strange feeling of emptiness this morning. Feels like I probably dreamed about her last night. I haven't had too much trouble with the NC, but I just wonder how she's doing. It's tough when someone enters and then leaves your life so quickly.

[CFD656]

Starting over. Failed and went through her Myspace, to find a guy posted that "she's not single, she's in a relationship!" I lost it.

[gottabelieve]

Starting over. Failed and went through her Myspace, to find a guy posted that "she's not single, she's in a relationship!" I lost it.

 

I'm sorry, man. I know that has to be so painful. If nothing else, this should strengthen your resolve to move on and not make the same mistake again of checking up on her. Hang in there - I know it's so tough.

[lionquack]

Have not been on here ages. (2 weeks ish)

 

Met someone else and am over her. My new girl is o much better in EVERY way. Only problem I have is barriers. I wont lower them now for a while so i dont get hurt.

[CFD656]

I'm sorry, man. I know that has to be so painful. If nothing else, this should strengthen your resolve to move on and not make the same mistake again of checking up on her. Hang in there - I know it's so tough.

 

Thanks. You're absolutely right... it'll only strengthen my motivation to let her go and not pull this same mistake.

[SnowFox]

Today was tough. I cried in the morning. I find it helps if I just let the feelings out rather than fight them off.

 

I am afraid he has forgotten me. But I don't think he can when I have known him for 13 years.

 

I have to tell myself that if he lets me go, he will still remember me for the rest of his life. Somehow this makes me feel better. I don't want to be forgotten.