THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[FriendnorFoe]

I gotta be honest, one thing I have a hard time with still is either seeing other couples or hearing about my friends and their girlfriends doing so well, getting married, having kids, I really shouldnt be jelous, it dosent usually last that long I tell myself I will not benefit from being envious, but sometimes it sucks.

[LemonCheesecak]

I gotta be honest, one thing I have a hard time with still is either seeing other couples or hearing about my friends and their girlfriends doing so well, getting married, having kids, I really shouldnt be jelous, it dosent usually last that long I tell myself I will not benefit from being envious, but sometimes it sucks.

 

Definitely does suck, I know the feeling. Especially on days when I have nothing to do and I know they're all doing stuff together. It's hard to take your mind off it when people are constantly flaunting it through persistent phonecalls/texts too. Actually, I was never like that with my ex. I always asked her to call me back when I was alone.

[Jabbe]

Well, in May, I'm going to have to break my no contact. I need to get the ball rolling on this divorce. She makes me sick to my stomach, so I'll try not to vomit. I just want out of this marriage so I can get on with my life!

 

I'll give it maybe 2 more weeks.

[Euterpe]

Day 7 - am

 

The morning and the evenings are the hardest - particularly the mornings, so I got up and went for a run this morning to get the endorphins flowing and make a positive start to the day.

 

I'm glad the weekend is over and I've got a busy week ahead. I'm hoping that by the time I have the luxury to think about it all again too much it'll be day 12 and perhaps it won't hurt so much.

 

Onwards we go...

[pace of ace]

Day 27

 

Still feel a bit rubbish to be honest. I think even after all this time i'm only just starting to heal. I guess this is part of it.

[philove]

Day - 33

 

Wow don't the days fly after reaching 30 days?!

 

I woke up at 4.30am and I couldn't get back to sleep, I was thinking about my ex again. I honestly don't know why my brain is torturing itself with all these memories and emotions.

 

ARGGGHHH!

[Cat76]

Day 7. Not feeling great this morning, nothing to do with the split or ex, I just think I'm catching a cold and I'm fishing for sympathy...

 

Hope everybody else is ok today

[pace of ace]

Day 7. Not feeling great this morning, nothing to do with the split or ex, I just think I'm catching a cold and I'm fishing for sympathy...

 

Hope everybody else is ok today

 

 

Hope you feel better soon cat. Hang in there!

[pace of ace]

Day - 33

 

Wow don't the days fly after reaching 30 days?!

 

I woke up at 4.30am and I couldn't get back to sleep, I was thinking about my ex again. I honestly don't know why my brain is torturing itself with all these memories and emotions.

 

ARGGGHHH!

 

 

I know how you feel Phil, i just want to be free of this now you know. It's alot to carry around with you day after day.

[philove]

I know how you feel Phil, i just want to be free of this now you know. It's alot to carry around with you day after day.

 

It is Pace, I'm at the stage now where I am just sick of myself. It is almost turning into an obsession.

[pace of ace]

It is Pace, I'm at the stage now where I am just sick of myself. It is almost turning into an obsession.

 

 

I hear you, i really do. I suffer from OCD too so obsessing doesn't take alot of effort from me.

 

It's enough to make you not wanna get involved with anyone ever again to save this happening again!

[philove]

I hear you, i really do. I suffer from OCD too so obsessing doesn't take alot of effort from me.

 

It's enough to make you not wanna get involved with anyone ever again to save this happening again!

 

Yeah totally, I feel the same.

[Cat76]

Hope you feel better soon cat. Hang in there!

 

Aw thanks, I'm curled up in bed with my cat (great hot water bottle)

[ScorpiGal83]

Aw thanks, I'm curled up in bed with my cat (great hot water bottle)

 

A purring kitty always makes me feel better heheh.

 

It's Day 32...

 

And you're right, I don;t think I should call my ex as yet. I still feel bad about it though. But sometimes I feel he's got a bad attitude about work. Sometimes, life just ISN'T 100% fair and you just gotta suck it up and make the best of the situation. That isn't to say you shouldn't stand up for your rights as an employee, but don't act like a spoilt brat!

 

Sorry, was digressing there

 

GOOD JOB everyone! Keep it up!

[hesnotworthit]

I hope I'm doing as well as you when i hit day 26. Good progress.

What has helped you deal?

 

Hehe thanks I think i was pretty much the same as you on day one, no i think i was way worse lol. Truthfully i dont think i ate more then one meal per day the first week of NC, i just didnt feel like i had the strength to get through each day without him there to prod me up when i fell down. And i definetly didnt get better over night, it took time really, and that sucks cuz time can be a * * * * * . I think the thing that made me get better, a little each day, was realizing that i was relient on him for my happiness, i used to call him the minute i was down and let him tell me things to make me feel better. So i switched from that focus, and found ways to fullfill my own life. I wrote down insirational quotes and read them every time i felt a bit upset, listened to motivational songs everytime i was down, stoped myself from bringing him up every minute in conversation with my friends, blocked and stoped myself from checking if he was online on msn everytime i went on, laughed with friends every opotunity i had, got a makeover, and just constinuously reminded myself of all his * * * * i will no longer have to put up with...cuz seriously i can, and so can you, do better!

Its hard, but its seriously worth it...everytime he came back into my life, no matter how small, it only caused me more pain, and stalled my healing and moving on process... remind yourself that any connection = pain.

Sorry if that was a bit long but feel free to message me and talk anytime you need some words to push you in the right direction!

You've taken the step of attempting to go NC, and thats the first step to moving on, so good on you! You've just gotta keep working at it, your closer then you think!

Good luck

[hesnotworthit]

DAY 28

skool tomorrow, yay for friends, gay for skool work and ugly/manly winter uniform!

Today was good, even though it was full of hw i hardly thought of him.

Kinda gay when his favourite band, played on one of my fav tv shows last night...but i didnt let it bring me down, and i didnt switch the channel, i still watched it, and didnt allow myself to get a gut punched feeling, if i want to move on, i have to face the music!

He feels so far away, i think he would only feel like an aquatance if i ever ran into him in the future again...so much has happened to me since, and the break up has changed me, for the better in so many ways.

I was listening to breakeven by script, it discusses how when a heart breaks it doesnt break even...i think that was true for me...his heart only got chipped, where as mine got stabbed deep, but you know im glad it did in a way, cuz ive become so much stronger because of it... I dont think ive ever experienced such pain before, and i had to some day, i had to learn how to cope, but most importantly how to find the sunlight and move on.

Im glad hes on the other side of the fence (so to speak), because now i know, the grass isn't always greener...

[LemonCheesecak]

Day 24

 

Too stressed out today to care about here. Organising the conditions of me returning to my summer job, got my date booked, now I just need to book a seafarers medical because my certificate expired, at a cost of £71.50 to me. ARGH! Also mustn't conflict with my exams next month.

[FigureItOut]

Nights are the worst part, by far. Was up from about 230-5 am. I'm still worried about never hearing from him again, but i'm in a better mood this morning. I' still confused about everything too.

[Bane17]

Day 1

 

Well today will be my first day. I have been split up with my ex since March 1st. She left me for a mate she had been seeing behind my back and recently split up with him although it looks like they will get back together. Despite this, she is the mother of my child and I would still like to sort things out with her. Things have been messy since the split with her coming back to me saying she loves and misses me and I have been throwing myself at her. I have just text her now saying "I understand she is confused but I'm going to back off completely to give her the space to think things through".

 

I intend on only speaking to her when it comes to my son and even so that will be through text. In the past I have only managed to go 24hours with NC and always think about doing it using my son as an excuse. Now is the time to stay strong and let her realise what she is missing out on!

[wanttobehappy]

Day 4 (after closure)

 

Basically an ok day. I still remembered him a lot, but it's not very painful, sometimes even felt it's a good riddance. Also started to feel at this moment and that moment he probably was thinking how I was so lame or no good... not a very positive thought but it's good in terms of making me feel cold about him.

 

The only thing was, he got a friend working at the same company as I am. Last week I talked to this girl asking if she knew his ex who he said he dumped me for, or if she knew the real reason. This friend messaged him on weekend, but he didn't respond or contacting me (like she asked him to, apparently).

I am not sure if this broke the NC. I'd like to think it does not. I asked her last week, not after my after-closure NC.

 

Anyway, I don't care what he thinks or if he even think. It makes no difference, because I am doing NC for my own healing, and rationally I don't want him anymore.

[ToodlePip]

I fluctuate so much - one minute and working out like mad, the next it's icecream and films all day long. Anyway, good luck to all - gotta say I feel a hell of a lot better this far along. Still have bad days but on the whole meetings loads of new people, my social life is slowly on the up and I'm definitely in a happier state of mind generally.

[LemonCheesecak]

I fluctuate so much - one minute and working out like mad, the next it's icecream and films all day long. Anyway, good luck to all - gotta say I feel a hell of a lot better this far along. Still have bad days but on the whole meetings loads of new people, my social life is slowly on the up and I'm definitely in a happier state of mind generally.

 

It's a good sign when you don't appear as active on here as you were before I've been riding the waves of indifference the past fortnight and I'm glad just to have that. And there are good days every now and then. People breakup all the time and the world keeps spinning, so its best not to get left behind.

[Qut81]

Day 30

 

 

I emailed him and said "I miss you". I dont know what my prob is, Im so * * * * ing stupid. Now I gave him the upper hand again.

[FriendnorFoe]

I thought about my ex today, more than I have been usually, nothing sad or depressing, just reflecting on good memories and how fun it has been being with her, people have said I have done everything right up to this point and she has been thinking about you will probably call you again, if and when she does is anybodys guess but I feel enough time has past where I can meet up with no expectations, when she might call again like i said there is no answer for but I tend to get alittle agnsy wondering when she might call but gotta remind myself I have to get on with my life. Perhaps she does miss me but this isnt enough for her to wanna get back together, maybe she found someone else and is in another relationship, all things that are possible but I dont know, so no sense in torturing myself,But I must say I really enjoyed talking to her last week but am staying in NC until she calls, it has done great things for myself so far.

[pdoog]

Day 26

 

I have still not contacted her but today and yesterday I had some very strong feelings of missing her. I completely broke down and cried for several hours. I really do miss her and I am still deeply deeply in love with this women.