Getting back together really does happen!

[pettypink]

I've got one solid one. I was speaking to a coworker today and she told me how she met her bf when she was 21 (she's 28 now) and he was just getting out of a serious relationship. There might have been overlap, I'm not sure. They dated for I think a year and then broke up for 2 months because he didn't want to commit. She lived her life and didn't beg for him. They got back together for a year and a half and then she broke up with him because it wasn't working. They got back together a year later once he showed her that he had fixed all the flaws they had when they were together (e.g. putting more thought into things, making more of an effort). He finally went all out for her birthday and then they started to spend more time together and decided to try again. She made sure to mention that she was over it when they broke up and didn't think they'd be together again. They were LC through their breakups. They got married this past summer.

 

Another couple I know from university - they were seen as the "Power Couple" to everybody. They broke up in April 2012 in their last year. Eventually he got another girlfriend a year later and I think she started seeing someone 2 years later. Its now been 2.5 years later and they recently reconnected. Not sure if they're just friends or more, but hey it just goes to show!

[lindsaylouwho]

Thank you everyone for your story...been helping me a lot this past week...

 

My story:

 

My bf of 3 years broke up with me a week ago (for reference, he is an ex addict, 9 years clean, a great man...one of the greatest men I've ever met). We knew each other when we we're 20, before his addictions (I'm 33 and he is 32 currently) and we used to sleep together. Lost contact and after 10 years he found my friend on facebook and asked about me. I was in a LTR at the time. Ended up breaking up with LTR and dated my current ex for a few months. Was feeling awful about my ex ex and left current ex for prior ex. Kept in contact with current ex and then finally left ex ex and started talking again to current ex. He was dating someone else at the time and had lied to me about something so I pulled NC for a month. After a month I texted him and things progressed slowly from there.

 

We were together for 3 years until last week, lived together for one year. Over the past 6 months, after 6 months of living together and 2.5 years together total I had been getting relationship cold feet. I started getting scared about the future. I'm a 33 year old professional female and I had just never really dreamed about getting married or a family (not that I didn't necessarily want it) so when we started talking about it i subconsciously started to pull away. I started going out with my friends all the time and drinking and our intimacy died down (which is very common in LTR's). I ALWAYS came home though and he never wondered where I was because I was always honest with him...I never cheated on him. However, he started to lose trust in me because he didn't know what was going on because I was pulling away and he couldn't wrap his head around it. Obviously because of his prior addiction he is a very emotional person and can't get out of his own head. Anyway, I wasn't paying attention to the fact that he was starting to have second thoughts about me. I didn't realize until about 3-4 weeks ago he told me that he couldn't do it anymore. I was horrified. It was a sad realization that I had pushed him to this point subconsciously. I apologized and swore I would be smarter in the future. He said he didn't think he could stay with me, but somehow he stayed with me for another two weeks. I was really putting in the effort, realizing all the things I had neglected over the past months. I even stopped drinking, not for him, but for me to be a better person. I honestly thought things were getting better. We were being more intimate and everything seemed on the up and up. Well, I came home last Tuesday and he told me he was leaving. He told me that he loved me, but he needed to love himself. He said all the worry about what was going on with us really messed him up and that he was in a really dark place, a place where he hadn't really been in the 9 years of his recovery. I'm trying to understand, but it's hard because I don't have that issue. I was devastated and I still am. He left that night and came back this past Saturday and moved his stuff. We are in the apartment through the end of the month and he still has a few things there so we have had a few bits of contact, but I have been so good not messaging or calling him or anything like that. For the most part, other than the apartment, I have been NC.

 

I've been having highs and lows. One minute I feel fine and the next I'm a mess. I lost 8 pounds in a week. I've never been like this before. I've been in other relationships but I have never been the dumpee and this is very new and hard for me. I don't consider myself a pathetic person. I have two jobs, am in school, have a ton of friends and am very close with my wonderful family. I like to think that I am deep down a good person who just got steered off track. But in the midst of a situation like this, it's hard to think highly of yourself when you realize the mistakes you made.

 

I am not being hopeful about this, I feel as if he is a very stubborn man and may never come back, but we have found our way back to each other three times (we've never actually "broken up" other than last week) and I'm wishful that will happen again if I just give it sometime. I do realize in time that I might not want to be with him either, but this is very difficult to deal with right now. I do love him and I've done a lot of soul searching over the past few weeks and think that all the things that I didn't think I wanted (marriage, family) is just because I was afraid of them. "People who are most afraid of their dreams convince themselves they don't dream at all".

 

Thanks for reading. I will update back if anything (or nothing) happens.

 

Again, thank you all so much for your stories and for keeping this thread going. It has gotten me through some of my darkest days.

[DaisyHope]

I have a few and I think they're ALL really lucky... and chances of it happening for me, much as I want it are slim to none:

 

*A best friends friend split with her boyfriend, got back together around 5 years later, dated again, now married and have a gorgeous baby girl.

*The same best friend herself had a teenage relationship, broke up, dated other people, about 10 years later they got back together and are now living together and I think in it for the long run!!

*A different best friend was seeing a guy she works with, just out of a messy relationship, he ended up breaking it off with her, she rebuilt her life, kept busy (they kept working together) a year later he came back and they're back together - it's not been easy but they've just been away together and it's looking good.

*My sister broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years. Everyone was stunned by it, she kept LC, then went NC for a number of months (around 5 in total), he slowly came back to her, and then they took the leap to try again, they've now been married coming up to 2 years and have a beautiful baby girl.

 

I really hope the above happens for me.... though chances are looking very bad....... I've done everything right, yes I begged when he ended it, but as soon as it became clear he felt it was the right choice I shut him off. LC since about various logistics of things we've had to sort, and now for me I think I need to just cut all ties. I am broken over this, and keeping busy helps for a bit and then it hits me, the complete out of the blue-ness of it, the love I felt I now have nowhere to put it.... it's awful. NC is for me though - not to get him back, mainly because I feel he won't be so I need to protect myself from any further rejection. It's only going to break me even more....

 

Keep posting stories everyone - as whilst there are some of us who have given up on it, it's still nice to see!! I often think how if they loved us how could they do it.... but the above show that actually it happens more often than not!!

[Jaybelle29]

I have a few.

My best friend was with her boyfriend for 6 years. He put her through a lot. She ended it finally. She was fed up and didn't want to be with him anymore. He had put her through too much. They stayed in contact the whole time they were broken up. Dated around and did their own things. At one point he cried and begged her back, she wasn't having it. At another point she cried and begged him back, and he wasn't having it. After a long dramatic roller coaster of 4 years, they got back together. They've been back on for over a year now and live together.

 

A family friend was with his girlfriend for about 3 years. She was more on the jealous controlling side, wanted all of his attention and he was more on the emotionally unavailable, I want my space side. They fought a lot. He was overloaded with work and school. She wanted to move in together and do all these long term things. He wasn't wanting all of that yet. He was tired of all the fighting. He didn't want all the "drama" and responsibility, and he broke up with her. She was devastated to say the least. They had very little contact for 8 months. It was hard because they're families were friends at this point. After 8 months, I guess he snapped out of it and realized he wanted to be with her. They got back together, and he proposed a year later. They will marry next July.

 

My older brother was devastated when his girlfriend left him. They were together a little over 2 years. He kept messing up big time, and he deserved to be dumped. He instantly started spending time with another girl. But he always wanted his girlfriend back. They did not speak or see eachother for about 8 months. Then they saw eachother at a bar, and that was it. Now they're expecting my nephew in March

 

Another good friend of mine was with her boyfriend for 2 years. At the age of 21 she broke up with him after he gave her a promise ring. She wanted to see who else was out there. She truly broke his heart. They were apart for 4 years with a little bit of contact here and there. She had 2 serious relationships in that time. And a couple of short ones. She was even engaged. She ended her engagement because they didn't get along anymore, and she reconnected with her first bf from 4 years earlier. They've been together a little over 3 years now. And he proposed last Christmas.

 

It has happened all around me I'm sure there are more stories that I will remember. Chin up people. You never k ow what's I store for u. I'm hoping to reconcile at some point. I miss him. And love him. But I've grown and learned about myself so much, that even though my break up was the hardest thing I've ever gone through, I wouldn't trade it for anything. It needed to happen.

[CovertCactus]

Great stories! I hope to share one someday.

[burningred]

so happy for the others who made it work, it never happened to me though. when he left me all i got from him was rejection. he said he doesnt want to be with me anymore because he is guilty and unsure if he wont ever hurt me again. oh well, in short he doesnt love me. why cant he just tell me that to set the record straight. coward and selfish.

[MoniqueJ]

This thread made me so happy I don't care if it gives me "false" hope. It makes me feel strong because it shows that real love conquers all. It helps me move on and better myself.

 

My story: BU 2 months ago after 7 years together. Unfortunately, it's our second BU. We had one a couple of years ago and reconciled after 2 months of LC. Now in NC for a week after making all the typical mistakes (begging, calling, etc). He asked for NC, but it doesn't make me feel different than if I would have initiated it. It helps me moving on. Hopefully it will help him forget the last bad few months.

 

So here's my input:

 

- friends of my ex broke up 3 times and now have a baby

- other friends of my ex broke up 2 or 3 times and have since been going strong for many years

- a friend of mine is still together with her highschool sweetheart. They broke up around 3/4 times. Are now married with 2 children

 

I can't give stories about my exes coming back because I was always the dumper. Sucks to be on the other side now

[bastas]

 

That's a lot of breakups

 

thanks monique made my evening a little bit better

[JustaBeliever]

I have a story of one of my best friends.

 

My friend (male) met his girlfriend through a friend. (Ages when they met, he was 18 and she was 19) They hit it off pretty quickly. My friend mind you has never been in a relationship before. They went on and dated for about a year and a half. One day my friend texts me about how he isnt sure how he feels about the relationship anymore. They were really close, she slept over almost everyday. Basically lived at his place. I think this freaked him out when he realized he was still really young and he felt like he was tied down already. He wanted to go out and enjoy his life and meet other people, also known as GIGS (Grass is Greener). So he decided to ask her for a break. Eventually this led to a breakup. My friend thought he was happy at the time. His ex was devastated. She told me she couldnt eat or sleep. She went NC/LC right away.

My friend would try to text her asking to be friends, but she never answered. Or at least kept it really short. This made my friend quite mad. They both tried seeing others but it didn't work out. They had their fun (no sex). After about a month of this he realized what he lost. He finally knew he loved her all this time. Not too sure on how they reconciled but they got back together and they look as happy as ever. More than before. Its been about for months since and they are still going strong.

[helmut2014]

My girlfriend of 3.5 years left me for her guy best-friend , a month ago. I begged, pleaded. Then doing NC. It is the 6th day. She somehow got to know that I was ill and had an accident. She called me 7 times at Day2 of NC. I didn't respond. She tried to call me using one of her friends phone. I didn't respond.

 

Is there any chance to get her back? Will she forget me during NC?

[benea]

Been lurking on this page over the holidays and I really thank all of you for all the uplifting stories. It kept me from feeling down and it reminded me that I need to better myself and learn from my mistakes. I hope to post my own story here one day. This thread has taught me that anything can happen! Wishing you all a wonderful new year and may all of our hopes and dreams come true!

[thebigman]

Last night me and the ex that brought me here 4 years ago met up for a drink after bumping into each other on xmas eve. We went out to a bar, had a few drinks and agreed to leave the past behind us and try to move forward. We then went back to her house where we stayed up the whole night until 7am in each others arms and kissing. Its early days but things look like they are heading in the right direction.

You never know what the future will bring your way and if your connection was strong enough then time apart will not make them forget you. As in my case, it can even bring them back. Let nature take its course and have faith that things will turn out as they should.

[jon21]

Just want some guidance

 

me and my ex broke about october time sincetp then been talking and sleeping together up, shes been getting messed around by other lads, yet kept coming back. On 15th December had a big argument long story short we both didn't contact each other for a few days then Xmas eve spent all day looking after her in bed, she said she misses me. Then yesteraday had a big argument turns out shes moved on, doesnt find me attractive yet she's said this 3 times over the last few months yet she keeps coming back. Shes now 18 and we were together 2 years. She had everything and even spoke about having a kid about march last year....

 

I understand shes young still but with her thinking there's better out there, when all her friends said there isn't and even all her family. Is this a sign of G.I.G.S??

 

Because she's trying to get with other guys and there using her for one thing, flinging her off and then keeps running back to me

[nick66]

jon21, she's 18, she's still a immature woman at this point in her life. Why would you want her if she's sleeping with other guys? Is this the type of woman you'd want to have a child with?

 

At your ages, having kids should be the last thing you should be worrying about. She's coming back to you because she knows she can, and you willingly put up with it.

 

Move on from her, you still have way too much living to do.

[Shadowbite]

I read some of these reconciliation story. I noticed that they are mainly people who fell in love during their teenage years or early 20's. Not only that, but seems its always something happens after months of no contact so both can grow. It's very very interesting. Another note I noticed is that it always happens with relationships of 2 years + that had pure real love, despite the issues.

[thebigman]

With me and my ex, she was late teens i was early twenties when we met. First loves and all that schpeal . We broke up after two years snd it took another four years for us to get to the point we are now but we were in contact sporadically and always had each other on social networking sites. It wasnt until i cut the cord early last feb that things started to turn around. Went full no contact.

Saw her on xmas eve and had a great night. Told her i would never be just a friend to her and after that night we go back to not communicating. She then started txting me and putting on a chase.

Im not saying that what you said is the gospel of getting back together but the things you point out all happened with me.

[thebigman]

One thing to add - when i say i saw her on xmas eve, it was an unplanned meeting. We bumped into each other. I was moving on in full force by this point.

[st peter]

thank you for sharing this.

people on this website consistently proclaim when its over its over, and actually they don't know jack.

my situation is pretty hopeless, but it still infuriates me when people i know talk omnisciently about how i have no hope, when they don't have a damn clue who i or my ex am.

every time i open up on here i just get condescended and told that the happiest thing i had in my life was a joke. what the hell do they know?

i look forward to hearing about your reunion story, or that you instead found someone even better. I'm sure it won't be long

[thebigman]

The thing i have learned from my time on here and my current reconciliation is that what people here are saying isnt what you want to hear but its what you need. I wouldnt have it that things were done, i kept trying to chip away at her walls but it was like trying to break them down with a feather. It wasnt until i had given up that things turned around. I dont know your story but what i do know (and everyone else here) is that you have no control over the outcome. Im 100% sure that my situation wouldve turned around sooner had i of listened to what i was being told. I delayed our reunion simply because i wouldnt let things evolve naturally.

Tomorrow night is our third date. We are not back together and i am holding off from telling my story until things are stable and i am certain that we are out of a tentative state but the difference is now there is no fear. Things have clicked back to how they were with relatively no effort and the changes i have made to become a better person were organic. She broke up with me and she chased me to get us where we are now. The way it should be.

[EA1123]

Bump! looking for some more feel good stories

[Brokenhart84]

Yes! Bumping

[Buco24]

Hi guys!

 

First time I posted here was on 11/15/14. You can read my post here:

 

 

 

Then after a time I gave up and posted this:

 

 

 

After our talk before nye we haven't seen or heard each other for a week. Then Monday came and we had to see each other again because we work together.

First day I was pissed and not really nice to him. Second day I was nicer, talked a bit with him but only about work.

Third day I felt I couldn't do it and told him, still at work, that I can't do that anymore and we need to talk how to behave at work.

 

So in the evening we went to his place after work.

We talked a lot. He said he talked to a few girls but after 10 mins at the latest he didn't feel interested in them at all. He said I knew how to make him crazy about me and so on. That you could put there ten models and he'd always choose me.

We said we'll be distant at work but nice if we had to talk.

That's how we did. But he started texting me again.

 

Last night I went out with a gf of mine, we drank a lot and were totally drunk. I couldn't get him out of my head and texted him if he wanted me fully not only for sex.

He said I was pressuring him to decide instantly. I said no I just want you and want you to want me.

I said I'm almost at your place either I take the next taxi or I come to your place. He said as of now I say no.

But I ignored that and rang his bell.

He opened the door. We sat in the living room, me totally drunk. I was laughing and feeling good.

He said let me make a suggestion, how about we spend some time together the next 3,4 weeks, cook, go to the movies etc and then see what happens, what we feel for each other. I was shocked and happy at the same time.

 

I don't know where this will bring us, if we'll ever get to be happy again or not. But I know I want to try! I know that this is our last chance to try anything and if we can't get along it will be over forever and ever.

 

We agreed that we won't do that longer than 3,4 weeks.

 

I stayed over and we had fun and sex when I was leaving today to get to the baby shower of a friend, we hugged and kissed.

 

As of for now we'll probably go to the movies this week.

I have no idea what will happen the next few weeks but I hope that we'll find the love back we once shared.

 

I always did how I felt like. Most of the time it was a totally hopeless situation. I felt lost.

 

I talked to many many people in person and also listened to the advices on here but always did what I thought was right.

 

I don't know what will happen but I would never have thought that we'll get here one day.

 

Once again I believe in hoping and believing. If you think it's right you should fight and not give up. But sometimes you have to of course but I think everyone knows when the time is right for not giving up or for doing so.

 

So please keep your fingers crossed that he falls in love with me again

 

That's my only wish! I'm a bit afraid of the next few weeks and also excited. It's now or never!!

 

I wish everyone on here so much luck!! That everyone gets what he wants!

Take care guys! x

 

Oh and if anyone is interested in my story I'll post in a few weeks again

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Shane Falco]

Yeah, I think you are setting yourself up to be used as a friends with benefits again. Sorry, I don't see this going your way. Not trying to be a Debbie Downer, but you're doing the exact same thing you were doing before and expecting a completely different result.

[Buco24]

@shane falco yeah maybe you're right and maybe not. The last few weeks were different as it is now, that's what I'm feeling.

First time after months he said he wants to try again. And I believe him. I know him and I know that he can't give up on me that's why he wants to try it again too.

 

And if you're right and this doesn't bring us anywhere then so be it. But at least I got another chance to try and will always be able to say we tried everything.

 

I just hope that it works how I want it to be!

 

Thanks for your reply!

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Shane Falco]

@shane falco yeah maybe you're right and maybe not. The last few weeks were different as it is now, that's what I'm feeling.

First time after months he said he wants to try again. And I believe him. I know him and I know that he can't give up on me that's why he wants to try it again too.

 

And if you're right and this doesn't bring us anywhere then so be it. But at least I got another chance to try and will always be able to say we tried everything.

 

I just hope that it works how I want it to be!

 

Thanks for your reply!

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

He doesn't want to give up the sex. And unfortunately, you gave him the sex right away. I've seen this type of situation many times. Hell, I've done it to women in my younger, more jerky days. I hope I'm wrong, but I see this as a wash/rinse/repeat cycle.