Getting back together really does happen!

[dazed_83]

I'm a believer. A crisis can hit you at any time, not just in your mid twenties or middle age (though those are common) and I think most of us (if not all) go through a few of them in our lifetime. Yeah I'm sure the 'life crisis' plays a part in many a break up.

 

Yeah my ex is approaching 30, i am sure that played a big part in our break up. She thought she should be married with kids and by that age, and things just weren't headed that way (yet) with us.

 

I am a believer in getting back together, if it's for the right reasons.

[bungalo]

I have been back with the g/f for over a month now...and things are better than ever...including the sex..This was our second breakup..I am taking it one day at a time and not centering my whole life around her...also maintaining as high a level of consciousness and authenticity as I can muster. I really think that believing in your rel/ship is key. I struggled during our five months apart to discover if I really really loved her, or if I just hated being alone. I realized that I really really loved her. The turmoil I went through was excruciating, but I did grow in my awareness. So if you think he/she is truly the one for you, don't give up. Bung

[Chris Knows]

I have been back with the g/f for over a month now...and things are better than ever...including the sex..This was our second breakup..I am taking it one day at a time and not centering my whole life around her...also maintaining as high a level of consciousness and authenticity as I can muster. I really think that believing in your rel/ship is key. I struggled during our five months apart to discover if I really really loved her, or if I just hated being alone. I realized that I really really loved her. The turmoil I went through was excruciating, but I did grow in my awareness. So if you think he/she is truly the one for you, don't give up. Bung

 

Agreed.

 

Similar instance for myself.

 

The time apart allowed me to reflect upon myself and see our relationship from a different perspective.

[Saffron_]

Yeah my ex is approaching 30, i am sure that played a big part in our break up. She thought she should be married with kids and by that age, and things just weren't headed that way (yet) with us.

 

 

Unfortunatley I think that scenario is all too common in break ups too. When one person feels like things aren't 'moving on' then resentment starts to kick in. Not that I'm saying you strung her along, just that I know from experience that feeling of 'it'll never happen'.

[dazed_83]

Unfortunatley I think that scenario is all too common in break ups too. When one person feels like things aren't 'moving on' then resentment starts to kick in. Not that I'm saying you strung her along, just that I know from experience that feeling of 'it'll never happen'.

 

 

I can see how it looked like that, I'm 2 years younger than her, and I just wasn't in 'that' place financially, couldn't afford our own place, certainly couldn't afford to have a kid. I couldn't find work, so yeah, she got fed up waiting, and settled for the very first guy that came along!

 

Still you never know what the future holds

[Saffron_]

I can see how it looked like that, I'm 2 years younger than her, and I just wasn't in 'that' place financially, couldn't afford our own place, certainly couldn't afford to have a kid. I couldn't find work, so yeah, she got fed up waiting, and settled for the very first guy that came along!

 

 

Hmmm we have a few things in common. Me and my ex were stuck in kinda a rut. We were both in jobs we didn't like but he managed to get a new one, where he met new people and started going out more (breaking out of his rut), whereas I couldn't get a new job so I feel he got fed up and moved on without me You and me and our ex's are the same age as well, so maybe that played a part. That or I was just a sh*te girlfriend! I see you're in Edinburgh (boo!), I'm in Glasgow (yay!).

 

Sorry I'm hijacking this thread....getting back together stories, let's see....Damn I don't have any new ones

[dazed_83]

Hmmm we have a few things in common. Me and my ex were stuck in kinda a rut. We were both in jobs we didn't like but he managed to get a new one, where he met new people and started going out more (breaking out of his rut), whereas I couldn't get a new job so I feel he got fed up and moved on without me You and me and our ex's are the same age as well, so maybe that played a part. That or I was just a sh*te girlfriend! I see you're in Edinburgh (boo!), I'm in Glasgow (yay!).

 

Sorry I'm hijacking this thread....getting back together stories, let's see....Damn I don't have any new ones

 

My ex found a new job too and met new people (her new boyfriend being one of them I think).

 

I'm actually in Fife (mega booooo) beats being a weegie though lol

 

My hijack over also.

 

As for getting back together stories, my mate actually cheated on his girlfriend whilst on a stag do, she found out, dumped him (rightly so). Well after about 8 months she called him up and they got back together.

 

My mate was a total mess after she dumped him, re bounding like a crazy person. He definitely learned his lesson, and he's a changed man. They're really happy together.

 

He was lucky though.

[Saffron_]

Well it looks like celebrity couple Jude law and Sienna Miller are officially back together, after 5 years apart! Not the best example of a couple reuniting in my opinion but it just goes to show no situation is hopeless. I mean, he has an affair with his children's nanny, she gets involved with a married man with young children and effectively breaks up their marriage, he then has a baby with another woman....and yet they're back on. Like I said, not the best example of a reunion I've ever heard but hey, I think those two deserve each other.

[Brownstone322]

I mean, he has an affair with his children's nanny, she gets involved of a married man with young children and effectively breaks up their marriage, he then has a baby with another woman....and yet they're back on.

A'ight, so when those two have an argument, how do you keep that stuff from coming back up? I mean, if I had been banging the nanny, I don't think that'd ever quite go away, nah sayin'?

[Saffron_]

A'ight

nah sayin'?

 

A'ight? nah sayin'? Who is this?

[cmo]

Getting back together happens way more often then people realize if the couple involved were actually in love at one point or another. the more i've looked around at my friends and family the more stories i see.

 

1st story - A friend that i met through college met his girlfriend there. they began dating and after a little over a year it ended ( not sure why i never asked) both went on to life there lives and about 3 -4 months later the two ended up back together and seem happier together now then they were before.

 

2nd story - A buddy i met at work had been dumped by his gf a month or two before starting a new job (for another guy from what i was told) where i work. it seemed to still be on his mind but the change to a new environment and people really seemed to help him and he began to just enjoy himself. after a few more months about 6 since the breakup his ex came back around wanting to get back together that she made a mistake. he didnt give in so easy but after some more time they ended up back together and now moved in with each other and are still together 2 years later.

 

3rd Story - Another friend i had met at college was in the midst of splitting from her husband of many years and had even moved out of the house and got her own place. they stayed in contact as they had kids and she eventually found out she had some chemical imbalance and when the problem got fixed she realized she loved her husband and moved back in and are still together. (apart for about 6 months to a year i believe)

 

4th story - My parents had broken up mutiple times when they were younger. once it was only weeks and the second time it was about 8 months. they got in contact again one day and married a year and a half later. still together to this day almost 25 years later.

 

5th story - A real close friend of mine had been dating this girl for nearly a year. they got along great and really seemed happy. one day just before the 1 year mark she began to have feelings for someone else and left. he did what was needed and focused on himself and had fun with friends. a few months later she called him up crying that she mad a mistake. at that time he had told her there was no going back because she had hurt him too much. she then took the next three months to focus on herself and get better as they remained in contact. They have just recently gotten back together as summer started and both seem more happy then they have both been in a long time.

 

I have more but at the risk of making this any longer i will stop here. it just shows that as long as you move and work on yourself and love and respect the person you are good things will happen.

[Civic204]

 

I have more but at the risk of making this any longer i will stop here. it just shows that as long as you move and work on yourself and love and respect the person you are good things will happen.

 

You got more? Let's have em!

[cmo]

Ok so here's a few more that i can think of off the top of my head.

 

1st - A friend of mine that i have grown up with has been dating the same guy for the last 3 years i think. (not really sure when it started) but for some reason they have broken up multiple times and from what i hear its the guy thinking he wants out so she just lets him go as best anyone can. more recently it happened about a month ago again to her (2nd time i think) and she went away on vacation with a bunch of family and friends and when she got back to guy wanted her back and they worked things out and she seems happy again.

 

2nd - Another friend of mine that i met at college had just recently lost his girlfriend over the summer just before heading back for his 2nd year of college. this is when i met him. he seemed like it was still on his mind but had no contact with her for some time about 3 -4 months and had fun partying with friends and being himself when one day out of nowhere he tells all us that his ex called him and wanted to come to see him. he told her he didnt think it was a good idea. but she came anyway and they ended up back together and she even moved to be with him for the summer. it has now been 2 and a half years since they got back together and they havnt had anymore problems and are going great to this day.

 

3rd - A couple i had met on multiple ocassions had broken up while around the 1 year mark of their relationship. they were apart for a few months before the guy that had broken it off came back to the girl and fought for her. it has since been about 4 years since then and the couple has finished school and moved in together and are planning their furture.

 

4th - I had met this amazing girl that i never dreamed i would fall so hard for. at about the one year mark i began to feel as though i no longer had attraction and wanted to be in a relationship and the fact that other girls began to show interest in me. (not a good thing to let into your head i know) so i broke up with her after a lot of thinking. well for the first month things were great but then in the second month reality started to set in that i wasnt having the kind of fun i thought was out there. i didnt get into another realtionship just wanted to really be free. well then my ex began to hang out with a friend of mine around the time i realized what a mistake i had made and i went to get her back. it took some time but we did and we got stronger then we were in the past. (however) fast forward 4 more years and she dumps me now saying almost the same things i had said to her. it has taken some time but i have now gotten my head on straight and putting myself first. it has been 3 and a half months since the breakup and no success for me this time.

 

I have learned a few things through all this however. being that reconciliation happens way more then anyway says but you cant focus on that. you have to treat yourself good and realize that although things arnt what you want right now you have the power to make your life as good as you choose. it has taken me some time to become used to this but i now feel like i am in control of my happiness and i feel like it is starting to show in my actions. I now and taking care of myself again enjoying my life working out and lost some of that extra weight and am becoming the more outgoing person i used to be. Who knows whats around the corner but i am excited for now just having fun and really enjoying the person i am once again.

[elle83]

bump!

 

i guess reconciliations do happen, but we can't expect nor hope....just move on with our lives and see what the future holds for us.

[uncomfynumb]

Everytime I see a thread like this I'm going to remind everyone that the chances of successful reconciliations are slim. Sure you heard about so and so but if you do a search here for success stories from ENA posters, you are not going to find much.

 

People say that is because people don't come back and post about it. I highly doubt that because that is the most important thing to share with other ENA posters that have gone with them through the breakup and the healing.

 

I'm a hopeless romantic but I'm also a realist. You will be better off if you squash that hope you have like the pesty little bug that it is, the one that interferes with your healing the most and move on.

[cmo]

I think the reason you dont see more is for the simple fact that most people experiencing a break up dont come on sites like ENA and just deal with there problems with friends and family.. so why after they reconcile would they post about it if they never did when they were broken up? could be my opinion

 

i do agree that you should remove that hope and not cling to it too tightly but these stories of reconcilations serve as more then false hope for people. it gives people a sense of happiness that things will get better which is what everyone needs in times of depression. which can lift peoples spirits and let them begin to live again so they can heal and move on. i know for me it has helped tremendously in the early days to know that many people have gotten back with an ex and things got better or that they found a new person even better.

[AllUNeedIsLove]

bump!

 

I love this thread. It makes me feel better, its not really hope that I'm getting, but mostly a "anything can happen" type of feeling.

[moonbug]

Ok, just heard of this story a few hours ago. This girl I have been friends with for almost 6 years, had been with her bf for almost 10 years when I met her. I knew things were getting difficult between them and that she was kinda getting annoyed at a lot of stuff he did. She used to tell me about it. It was not that he wasn't in love with her. It was just that he felt like he was missing something in life by only being with her. For example, he wanted to devote a lot of time to his business which he was unable to, because of a full throttle relationship. She wasn't willing to put up with anything less than max. So she thought they were not working out and decided to end it. He didn't know what he wanted at that point. She (being a girl and all) met someone else right away. They went out for about 7 months before she realized he was not the guy for her. Her ex in the meanwhile had been single ever since she had ended things between them. Both of them were single for more than a year. And in NC for the largest part. Then, slowly, she started meeting him casually, for coffee and stuff. She always knew he was crazy for her. But since a lot of time had passed, she wasn't sure where he was at right now. But she probably got a few signals that there was still enough between them to salvage and they got back together after a few dates, a few months ago. Since they had been together for a really really long time (>10 years, and they are both abt 28 ) they decided there is nothing in particular that they are waiting for. Both of them apparently thought they had acted like idiots when the breakup had happened, and have therefore decided to try and never let anything mess things up again. They are scheduled to get married this Dec. After more than 2 years apart.

 

I am totally not posting this to give anyone any kind of hope. But I guess, its a weird world we live in. Where all kinds of strange things happen. Just never with us.

[quirky]

Dunno why..but I get the feeling reconciliations happen more when the girl has left the relationship.

[doiiiieeezie]

That would go against the generalization that once women are done in a relationship, they are done... and we can't have that here... nooo.

 

For those who seek reconciliation, have hope... it does happen. But step back and let it happen. For pushing others to do things that they may not want at first never ends well.

[hmmwhoknows]

Dunno why..but I get the feeling reconciliations happen more when the girl has left the relationship.

 

I don't get that feeling, but since you do, and you're a girl, it's kind of encouraging!

 

Like others, this thread doesn't give me hope as much as it shows that possibilities are endless. And that's pretty cool.

[diamond78]

Dunno why..but I get the feeling reconciliations happen more when the girl has left the relationship.

 

 

I think this is true in cases when the girl still loves her guy, but has chosen to walk away from the relationship because the guy is being neglectful and taking the relationship for granted.

[hellohello1]

i have a story:

 

my sister and her boyfriend dated for about 3 years...she was clingy and controlling i thinnk..anyway so he broke up with her, told her he didnt love her, didnt ever want to be wtih her, wanted her to be with other people, it would make him happy for him to move on..all of this crap, she was absolutely devasted. they did not speak to each other other than a happy birthday text in 4 months. they had mutual friends, and she would hear about or see him around with random girls and she was absolutely heartbroken..after 4 months of broken up he saw her with a guys arm around her..apparently he had a sleepless night that night and paniced and called her the next day..they took a while to reconcile but they are back together and that was over 2 years ago..theyre happier than they were before..sometimes people say things they dont mean (i want to see you with other people!)..people dont know what they have until its truly gone..

[wai]

My friend's ex boyfriend broke up with her two and half months ago. She panicked and tried to win him back but he never came back eventhough he slept with her a couple times after they broke up. He went back to his ex-ex. But a week ago he texted my friend that he miss her and he wants to get back with her. She doesn't want to go back to him anymore because he's an alcoholic. His ex-ex girlfriend that he went back is so clingy and she would not let him go. She never did NC. He went back to her but he left her in a month.

[piratehound]

This girl dumps my friend after they had been dating 2 years. He wanted to marry her. She wanted to try the single life (He was 25 she was 22). The breakup was tough on him. He did all of the following:

 

1) drank himself into a stupor nightly

2) Showed up at her apartment randomly and almost fought a guy she was with

3) walked around with a bullet in his pocket

4) shot himself in the arm with said bullet, then stitched himself up (he said he needed to feel the pain to get over suicidal thoughts)

5) went to Guatamala for 4 months to find himself

6) tried Buddhism

 

It took him about a year to get over her, and another 6 months before he was ready to date again.

 

Well, 3 years after the breakup, after all of THAT (no he never read this site) they decided to get back together. She had had several boyfriends and he had had several girlfriends.

 

It was all he ever wanted and he finally had it.

 

But she slipped up. She freaked out when he talked to her mom about dating her again (he had done the same thing the 1st time they dated and he liked the symmetry of it). Well after she freaked out about him doing this. He simply hung up the phone, and never talked to her again. He had dumped HER.

 

A few months later he met his wife and they are very happy.