BREAKING ALL THE RULES

[spatzcolumbo]

Glad you're not feeling too bad...keep going with the no contact...its gets easier as the days go by doesnt it!!!

 

I am feeling slightly flat again...i think the last few bits of contact have given me a taste for it!!!

 

Will NOTHING keep me happy???

 

Sorry guys...just gotta make it to the weekend then see if things develop!!

[Beec]

Win the game spatz. That should make you happy. Now at least you are in the game and not on the bench or in the stands.

[spatzcolumbo]

This is true Beec. But i guess i am still not 100% convinced i am properly in the game i want to be in...but only because i am impatient and want to know whether she is interested as more than friends...but i also know from experience that if anything will mess up my game it is impatience.

 

I guess i feel like my game has only just really got going, and i wanna be in the thick of the action to find out how its gonna go!!

 

Does that make sense?!?

[Beec]

spatz, if you play your cards right it matters not what she wants of you right now. If she wants "just friends" you still provide emotional fulfillment and she will fall into your arms. Play the game the right way and you will win. Of course, this does require patience

[GeeCee]

Hi Darling Spatz

 

I notice that you missed me - I notice that Beec didn't.

 

Right Spatz - enough of this pathetic waffle about not knowing how/what to do. You won her before and you can do so again. Confidence is the key to this. And patience. Before the weekend - trawl through this post and remind yourself of what not to do by looking at my mistakes.

 

I was warned - truly warned - by Beec, Majord and yourself not, under any circumstances, to get naked!!!! Please, for all our sakes Spatz DO NOT GET NAKED!!!

 

Keep your clothes on, listen lots and talk little, be vague and interesting, but not Superman, don't ask too many questions, and don't drink red wine! Oh, and don't fall over when you see her. The rest ... see how the conversation develops and be yourself. Do not touch anything other than her hand, or the small of her back - absolutely no other body parts. And whatever you do - do not sit and visualise the last time the two of you were 'together'.

 

So, this is me ... Am feeling OK, thinking about future strategies, and sharpening my tactics. No contact at Day 7 is easier than last time around. You will be pleased to know that any resemblance I had to Miss Haversham has now gone. Today I reflected on my situation and kind of thought about what it is I want from a relationship and found that interesting (remember I was with a bunch of teachers all day, had to reflect on something!!). Am thinking that I might take a vow of celibacy - surely if I have made some kind of commitment in that direction it will stop me thinking endlessly about the lack of sex I have!!!

 

Spatz, I am also surprised at the excitement and pleasure I got from your accomplishments yesterday. You have done really good, and this is just the beginning. Have lots of faith, play it cool, and it could be all yours. And then it will just be me and Beec and he doesn't *&%$ing count, because he has a good relationship and he's only here to make himself feel smug!!! Lol. Beec, honey, I am joking, I AM SO GLAD THAT YOU ARE HERE.

 

G xx

[dikaia880]

Hey guys,

I was wondering if you guys could take a look at my last post...Beec you've helped me a lot in the past and now i sort of need a little more encouragement! Thanks you guys!

[GeeCee]

See what happens when you are not an 'Expert', Spatz? We don't get asked for advice!!!!

 

G xx

 

P.S. No offense take dikai880

[dikaia880]

LOL no no no it's not like that GeeCee...I just remember Beec had offered some insight to me a while back...I'd love to get as much advice as possible....

Well it's no 5 in the afternoon...St. Patty's day, I don't know what that means to all of you accross the puddle, but here that means it's time to go to the pub for a few pints of Guiness or maybe some Bass, Newcastle if need be! Happy St. PAts everybody

[GeeCee]

Happy St Patrick's Day to you too dikaia880

[Beec]

No Newcastle, no Bass, on this one day NO ENGLISH BEER!!! No scotch whiskey either. If you can't drink Irish (Guiness, Red Breast or Green Spot Whisky, or some other form of Irish beer or whisky), then drink anything but English on this day.

 

I am off to have a little Guiness and some uisce beatha (Gaelic for the water of life, i.e. whisky).

 

I mean offense by this, but I also do have a big fat Irish surname.

[spatzcolumbo]

Prepare for drunken ramblings guys...i've been out for some St Paddy day Guinnesses...just like old times...i used to drink a lot of the black stuff....2 years ago i had 6 pints in an hour and a half just to get a hat

 

Didn't feel great the next day tho!!!

 

Just had a few pints up at the place me and my ex first met. Its my local, so i don't avoid it, but it does bring some memories of waiting around for her at midnight as she ended her shift!!

 

Talking to a couple of people tonight about things - mostly relationship stuff from their point of view...i had a lot to say...based on advice i have read on here!!

 

I guess it kept me from talking about my ex too much, and stopped me thinking about it, but i'm thinking things over now i am home.

 

I think my main nervousness at the moment stems largely from the uncertainty over the next few weeks - will i see her, will she ask me for drinks, will things go as i want them to, or some other way entirely!? Will i find out her current 'status', etc. The nervousness will be replaced by other feelings once i move onto the next stage of actually seeing her for the first time. This is what i want / need to get out of the way.

 

Geecee, don't you worry about me getting naked with her...i feel that is only a 1% chance anyway - i feel this in general about us working things out. But in any case i am usually more sensible than that...i refused to jump into bed with her at the start of the relationship because i wanted to prove i was in it for more than sex...i would like to think if the situation arose again i could do the same!! Although it might be hard!!

 

I just wanna get that next bit of contact under the belt...and i want it to be from her...that would confirm in my mind exactly where i stand...i know i should draw so many positives from the way i have played it recently, but i also know there were 'excuses' for the contact - her birthday for instance. Having said that, i know there was no need for her to contact me the other day just to repeat how nice the presents were!!

 

Anyway, i just realised, if you're still reading, you're probably bored...so i'll stop....but just wanna say...pretty good spelling and grammar for drunken ramblings!!!

[GeeCee]

Gee Spatz!!! Your spelling and grammar are good even when you are drunk on St Paddy's Day - and you on the right path to getting back your girl.

 

Life does not get much better!!

 

G xx

[spatzcolumbo]

Ok guys, after my drunken ramblings last night i have been thinking some more.

 

I really want to hear from her again - everytime i hear my phone receive a message i get that excited feeling that it might be her...and now it feels like it actually *could* be her, whereas before i never really thought it ever would be.

 

I know i have to wait for the next 3 days to see if i hear anything from her, but i am thinking about what i do if i DON'T hear from her. The reason i started thinking about this is because i am working to a very limited time frame here. She is back for 3-4 weeks as far as i know. Certainly no longer. I may not have much chance to see her during the week as i work during the day, and she is likely to be working in the evening.

 

This time limit means i am slightly more pushed to get things moving. I do not want to be getting into the situation where i am just getting into my game, and then she has to return to uni.

 

So how long do i give her to message me before i increase contact again from my side?

 

Sorry for all the constant questions and worrying guys, i guess i just wanna make sure i get things right!!

[GeeCee]

Spatz!!! Take a chill-pill (or whatever works for you).

 

Stop this now - and assess the great position you are in. You need to stop worrying and stop looking ahead too much.

 

The meeting has to be of a second/third date variety. You need to be yourself and allow her to do the same. You are on a bloody good journey here. But you need to stop worrying so much.

 

Do not have time, right now, to answer your previous thread, but will come back to it later.

 

G xx

[Beec]

Spatz,

 

Take that chill pill or a few more Guiness until you go to sleep.

 

We all know you want this woman on the phone talking to you each night, whispering sweet nothings, right before your head hits the pillow. Sounds good to me. But remember you want this woman not just to do this for a short while. You are playing for keeps, or until spatz changes his mind. This requires patience and for you to get a handle on your insecurities. Her next call will make you feel more secure for a short while, but when do they creep back in. Too much contact, not too little, with crew up the long term plans. Have some patience, please.

[spatzcolumbo]

Thanks guy,

 

And please ignore any further posts like that...its just my natural eagerness to get going on all this!! And writing it on the board saves me from going mad and contacting her.

 

Roll on her next contact - i wanna see what the next move is gonna be!!

[GeeCee]

Spatz - next contact might well be sooner than you think!!

 

G xx

[spatzcolumbo]

I bloody well hope so!!!

 

That would be so nice!!!

 

I kinda got to thinking that maybe if she is getting the train home she might message whilst she is on the train...being as she is normally bored on the 6 hour journey!!

 

We will see.

 

The way you phrased taht Geecee made it sound like you have inside knowledge!!! hehehe

[GeeCee]

Spatz - how are you doing?

 

Seem a little calmer today - maybe you did, indeed, take that chill-pill?

 

Spatz, I have got so caught up in the excitement of your news, and damn, who could miss Danimal's unbelievable story!!! Have forgotten, for a moment, that I am on Day 8 of no-contact!!! Hmmm ... bollocks to those who say it gets better. It's neither better nor worse than Day 2 - just incredibly tedious and monotonous. However, tonight, if there is nothing, I shall take the bull by the horns and initiate something, and then see where that leads. Will not be happy, however, if he does not respond immediately, because he usually does.

 

Will let you know. I have to say, I have read Danimal's post and he was incredibly brave and confident in himself to continue calling day after day after day when he was getting nothing back. Not sure that I would be willing to do that. Definitely know that I would not be willing to do that. And yet ..... look where it has gotten him. But all relationships are different.

 

Speak later.

 

G xx

 

P.S. Did I mention that I am bored with this?

[GeeCee]

No no no, not bored with you Spatz!!! Bored with the monotony of No Contact.

 

G xx

[spatzcolumbo]

Yeah i know how boring and frustrating no contact is.

 

I am trying to think of things to keep me busy until i next hear anything...very tricky!!!

 

So you're gonna call tonight are you?? Or Message?? What you planning on saying??

 

I was tempted to message earlier, but i am strong enough to realise that i am in a good position, and messaging her right now will probably not put me in any better position. As Beec said, patience is Key.

 

Let me know what you say to him!!

[GeeCee]

Dunno yet Spatz. I was gonna message, but my favourite 'Expert' told me to call - because I could then guage his reaction better. What do you think, fellow Junior Member.

 

The other thing that Beec said, which surprised me, was to sound kinda pissed off. Not majorly, but a little. That wouldd not be my preference, because contrary to my messages on this site, I am quite an upbeat person. The problem with a call - he might not take it - he often has clients in the evening (NO, NOT THAT SORT OF CLIENTS!!!! ) and then you get filled with all that angst and yet more waiting around for him to return the call. Aargh!!!!!!!

 

What will I say ... well he had asked me to get him something last week, and that could be the reason I am calling. Or I could be calling for a friendly chit-chat to see how he is doing etc. Or ... oh hell!! What would you want me to say to you Spatz? Advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

I know what I am not going to say!!!!

 

G xx

[spatzcolumbo]

il have to give it some thought and try to get back to you later...i have no idea what you should say really!!!

 

But i will try to think!

 

hmmmm...

[GeeCee]

Thanks Spatz.

 

I think that we both know I will not say anything revolutionary - PLEASE COME BACK - MY HEART IS DYING WITHOUT YOU - I WANT SOME SEX - NOWWWWW should all be kept on the back-burner for now.

 

I shall probably start by saying Hi (find that always gets a conversation going), talk about work, kids, what we have both been up to, and tell him that the thing that he wanted is here. Not the most rivetting conversation.

 

Of course, if it goes to answerphone, will simply ask him to call me.

 

If I message - will simply say - Bring your heartrate down, honey, your shipment has arrived!! G xx

 

G xx

 

P.S. Now I have got you going!!!! You're wondering what it is he asked me to get him! It's like being in Alice's Wonderland - it just gets curiouser and curiouser!!

 

P.P.S. I still think that that 'take care' was far more significant that any of you realise.

[Beec]

GeeCee,

 

As you mgiht know, I always prefer the call to the email of text. I learn much more from the tone of voice and patterns of speech than I do from the words, so I learn more from the call than anything, as I get all of those, except a personal meeting which adds in body language.

 

I would adopt a more annoyed attitude than pissed off, something like Hi I am here but why should I have to bother to call you. I hardly have time for this *&^%. Not I am angry about it, and I would only try to adopt this after the first 3-8 minutes of the call.