BREAKING ALL THE RULES

[February]

Thanks GeeCee you brought up alot of good points. And Majord your story was very interesting about the ex who should've "fallen" down the stairs. GeeCee, the truth is, I know I am better off w/o him. But the breakup of coure still stings. I am of course not ctontacting him. I made it clear that I could be friends, now he has to make the effort and unfortunately I don't think he will. Maybe we have come too far from the friendship to ever have it back, but I know right now, he wants space from me. He "we'll talk tmrw" but I know he won;t call me. Eventually he may realize damn I miss her as my friend and maybe even as more, but right now, he still feels guilty with me, he still looks at me lovingly and probably thinks "this poor girl is still in love with me" not sure about that one, but he obviously thinks somethin' like that. Would love all you experts out theres opinion too. At this point I think it is more about my pride and whether he will come back into my life than anything else.

[spatzcolumbo]

I do remember Beec saying somewhere that he was gonna be away for a few days!! But even with the positive stuff coming from other people, i still find myself not quite 100% in the picture without Beecs useful advice!!

 

On the subject of you sleeping with your ex the other night...i could say whatever i wanted about that - positive or negative...but it'd be stupid because to be honest i know that given the same situation, i would do EXACTLY the same...but i don't think i'd be handling it as well as you afterwards!!

 

Well done!!

[GeeCee]

Majord said:

Obviously I was devastated but maintained a dignified demeanour, resisted the temptation to push her when she was heading down the stairs and said goodbye. [quote]
Damnit Majord, I laughed so hard, I nearly fell down the ^&$%ing stairs myself!!!!!

Majord I do not think that you have been too harsh at all.  I asked for your advice, and you gave it.  If you are going to stop giving valuable advice, in order not to hurt my feelings, I will be wasting my time.  Please continue as before.

I liked your story about the ex and the stairs.  I liked it a lot.  Good for you!!!

G xx

P.S.  And you are from Australia!!!!!  How yummy!  Please, please, please, do tell me that you will run away with me into the sunset.  Save me from this heartache Majord!!

P.P.S.  And where the hell is Beec??  Two days away, and the whole thing is a shambles![/quote]

[GeeCee]

Oops, have reposted the above thread - gremlins in the system!!!

 

Majord said:

 

Obviously I was devastated but maintained a dignified demeanour, resisted the temptation to push her when she was heading down the stairs and said goodbye.

Damnit Majord, I laughed so hard, I nearly fell down the ^&$%ing stairs myself!!!!!

 

Majord I do not think that you have been too harsh at all. I asked for your advice, and you gave it. If you are going to stop giving valuable advice, in order not to hurt my feelings, I will be wasting my time. Please continue as before.

 

I liked your story about the ex and the stairs. I liked it a lot. Good for you!!!

 

G xx

 

P.S. And you are from Australia!!!!! How yummy! Please, please, please, do tell me that you will run away with me into the sunset. Save me from this heartache Majord!!

 

P.P.S. And where the hell is Beec?? Two days away, and the whole thing is a shambles!

[GeeCee]

Spatz - sorry - I forgot to respond to something you wrote a few posts back. If she comes on-line, perhaps you should wait a while. But if she has not said anything after 10 minutes, perhaps you might want to open up some communication?

 

G xx

 

P.S. Spatz, I promise not to analyse my text messages, if you do. You can read anything you like into her response, but maybe, just maybe your gift did mean a lot to her, can't we take that at face value??? PLEASE!!!!

[spatzcolumbo]

Geecee,

 

thats why i never did psychology at uni - i wanted to, but with all the knowledge i would have spent the rest of my life analysing myself and my actions. And i do enough of that without knowing all the theory behind it!!

 

I know the gift may have just meant a lot to her (end of story), but i was trying to work out the reasons why it meant a lot, and someone suggested that it meant a lot because she thought it means i am happy as 'friends'. But maybe i am being negative...for all i know it could mean she is having second thoughts. no point in trying to guess i suppose!!

 

Why do i have to make it so hard on myself!!!

 

Spatz

 

ps - good plan about her coming online - wait for a bit and then start chatting...il be at work, so i should be busy anyway!!!

 

goodnight

[GeeCee]

Good to hear that you sound in good spirits Spatz!!

 

That's actually quite hard to say - and even harder to type!!!

 

Goodnight.

 

G xx

[Beec]

Holy cow manure, this thread has grown in the last few days. It took me a few minutes to get back to page 34 for spatz. I cannot read all this stuff, my brain is fried as it is now, it is almost 8:30 p.m. and I still have work to do before 9:30 a.m. tomorrow.

 

GeeCee, you know I am not trying to be harsh. You played a hand, did what you did, know what you said, ok, it happened, whether good or bad. I only want to see you get to where you have what you want or are on your way to getting it. (I have an idea about something I might want G.)

 

Anyway, I see you sounding like you are a little long in the face for having failed at something. Well that's old news by now (very old as it happened two days ago). Stop feeling anythign bad about it and just think about what to do next, now or for the next couple weeks. OK, now you don't want to play the game. That is what I am worried about. Is it always fun, of course not. But you need to play him to get him, whatever kind of game it is that you have. This is not about fun, it is all about getting what you want. The way to do it, is to seem like you are and to give them what they want, which of coruse changes. Man the game is hard, so is writing anymore in my current state.

 

Take care,

 

Beec

[GeeCee]

So glad that you are back Beec - my heart-rate is returning to its normal state!

 

Tell me what you want.

 

G xx

[Beec]

GeeCee,

 

I want you to play the game and to play to win.

 

Beec

[GeeCee]

Beec, have I told you later how much I adore you?!?!

 

G xx

[spatzcolumbo]

Well guys, its the weekend, and completely unexpectedly...i got a message

 

Nothing that amazing to be honest - just telling me "the CDs are great! X"

 

Thats all. Just telling me what she told me the other day!!

 

But its pleasing all the same

 

Just thought i'd share my happiness...i like the feeling when i get texts without pushing for them!!

 

-----------------UPDATE-------------------

 

And now another message, this time "i like all the CDs, sorry didn't call back the other day - such a hectic day. Off out in a minute with the house X x"

 

Yay what a great start to my weekend!!!

[GeeCee]

Oh Spatz!!!! This is fantastic news. Now just keep playing your game - it is working wonderfully.

 

Enjoy your weekend - if you are drinking - leave your phone at home!!

 

G xx

[spatzcolumbo]

Thanks Gee,

 

I WILL be drinking, but ya know what, i think for once i can go out confident that i don't have to text her...now she has texted me i don't feel the need!!

 

Hope you're doing good - and same for you with the texts at the weekend - if you DO feel the need toleave 'i'm drunk and horny' messages then leave them for Beec or Majord

[GeeCee]

Passing the buck Spatz!!!! Then I shall insist on leaving them for you.

 

Enjoy.

 

Catch you over the weekend to check on progress.

 

G xx

[Beec]

GeeCee adores me and Spatz is telling her to leave me drunk and horny messages. How much better can life get?

[GeeCee]

Beec ... hmmm ... you know me ... talk like that will get me wondering what you look like!!!

 

G xx

 

P.S.

[GeeCee]

And one more thing Beec. I see you told me to 'take care' a couple of threads back. I missed that! You don't miss much! That was very kind of you. You seem to be able to contextualise everything, so very neatly!

 

I am tired - had a really long day at a Conference today.

 

Have not had time to think about the ex today. There has been no contact from either side, and all is remarkably calm and collected.

 

Have actally got a lot of things planned for this weekend - big night out tomorrow with friends, football on Sunday with the boys (watching, not playing), probably followed by a fairly rude drinking session.

 

Back home Sunday night to the usual domestics, ready for business as usual on Monday.

 

Night guys, and if I haven't said this before. You are all, one and all, truly inspirational. We should all give ourselves a round of applause.

 

G xx

 

P.S. Anyone else suspect that Determined is quietly moving on with his life and revelling in his circumstances?

 

P.P.S. Spatz you are in a very strong situation. Do not get overly confident.

[spatzcolumbo]

Beec, Geecee,

 

I'm starting to feel a bit like a spare wheel in this....hahaha....you want me to leave you to alone for a while??

 

So glad it's finally the weekend - time to relax...hope everyone has a good / easy weekend, and Geecee, hope you are able to havbe a good weekend of not thinking about the ex...

 

Spatz

[GeeCee]

Ooooh Spatz ... I am seeing a different aura surrounding you! A sense of je ne sais quio! You are not the same indecisive, over-alalytical darling you were this time last week. Happy, confident, secure. I am soooooo happy for you.

 

Let me remind you, DO NOT GET CARRIED AWAY WITH THIS. Every time you feel your elevated position might be going to your head, read my thread a few pages back. You could not have timed this better if you tried (mind you, you did try!!!).

 

When I woke up this morning, S, I thought of you, and a 'cat that got the cream' smile preyed on my lips. I am really glad that this is going to plan.

 

Now, let's make sure you survive the next hurdle.

 

As for me - well... there has been no contact from Mars, although to be honest I did not expect any. What has surprised me is that I have not been thinking about phoning, texting, emailing as I have done in the past in this vicious no-contact charade. I thought about the sex thing last night, when I was driving back from the Conference (great opportunity for reflection - when driving). I don't know about you guys, but good sex for me is a balance of power. Sometimes one person has it, sometimes both do, and sometimes you share it. So on the one hand, he may be feeling powerful for all the reasons that Beec and Majord have stated. But, to be honest, I felt a sense of power myself, in taking what I wanted, even if it was just for that night. And I know the ex, he will have gone away thinking about it. So there were gains to be had and gains to be lost in the sex thing. I am not denying Beec and Majord, there were more gains to be had by not sleeping with him.

 

But not beating myself up about it. In fact shall not post anything more about that now - it's past and done and dusted.

 

So guys, you are telling me that now I just revert entirely to the no-contact rule. Even though in the past, we have managed friendly, flirty contact? Beec, would like you advice on this. I have a busy weekend, and actually no desire to contact him this weekend. I am kind of thinking that he might make an approach some time mid-week. If he has, I shall respond. If he has not, am I not to intiate contact, even in the form of a friendly text?

 

Yesterday we woke up to a carpet of snow - it was beautiful. Today we woke up and the sun is shining in a crystal-clear sky.

 

Life is damned good sometimes. Got to notice the little things!

 

G xx

 

P.S. you might find me back here tonight, posting my drunk and horny!!!

[spatzcolumbo]

...i'm just enjoying the fact that i got a coupld oe nice messages without asking for them. I've learnt to enjoy things like this - i punish myself so much when i do / did stupid things with this no contact in the past - like c ouple of months ago when i crumbled after about 5 days. So it's only right that when i play it the right way, and get a response, even if it means nothing, that i enjoy it for a while!!

 

I think Geecee that you should do no contact again. Wait for him. I'm sure your gut instinct is that he will contact you, so why not see if you are right!!

[GeeCee]

Thanks Spatz. Think that you are right - bring on the no-contact!!! Here we go with Round 3 - I can do this!

 

G xx

[Beec]

...i'm just enjoying the fact that i got a coupld oe nice messages without asking for them. I've learnt to enjoy things like this - i punish myself so much when i do / did stupid things with this no contact in the past - like c ouple of months ago when i crumbled after about 5 days. So it's only right that when i play it the right way, and get a response, even if it means nothing, that i enjoy it for a while!!

 

I think Geecee that you should do no contact again. Wait for him. I'm sure your gut instinct is that he will contact you, so why not see if you are right!!

 

Spatz, you shuld feel good. She is sending good signals. DO NOT really let her see this. You need to be aloof.

 

GeeCee, he will be back around. But doing the same thing again would put you a tough road. Make sure you change the game, and spring the change on him.

 

Enjoy the rest of the weekend.

[hopeful1]

I may be misreading this but it seems Gee Cee feels badly that she made love to the man she loves. That it was a mistake if she wants to get back with him.

In the many times I have broken up with my man we always make love the first time we are back together. I don't feel used. It is a connection that I want also. But, is that a mistake? It feels like the way to show we love each other. I have never held back my feelings. He always knows that I love him unconditionally.

I don't mean to jump onto her thread but is that why it never lasts with my man? Do I need to hold back physically until we get our relationships verbally worked out before we make love again.

I totally know where Gee Cee was coming from. It feels right.

Is it the mans view that the woman shouldn't have sex right away when first back with the estranged... dumper?

[Beec]

hopeful1, it all depends on the people. If you continue to see him after first getting back together, then I doubt the initial meeting sex is the problem. It is probably soemthing else.