Risking STD’s for love or sex

[greywolf]

Simplex - there are litellly dozens of forms, from zoster, aka chicken pox, to cold sores to genital herpes. It's all herpes. Same virus, different place. Plus, if you weren't aware, they can be spread to other parts of your body by YOURSELF (called auto-innoculation) to become one of the other forms of herpes.

 

Same virus.

 

Makes you think twice now, doesn't it?

 

 

 

The kicker is: 90% of people who have herpes don't know they have herpes because they attribute it to some other ailment. It's really that subtle.

 

Now think again about how you feel about people with this disease - because you're opinion weighs on 80% of the worlds population.

 

That's where you're wrong. Herpes simplex is a type of herpes, just as VZV is a type of herpes. VZV is not a herpes simplex virus.

[JadedStar]

There is no way that a thread that is promoting sexual promiscuity among people infected with STD"s won't invoke some emotions out of people.

 

And like i said before to sn0, this is not about not knowing you have an STD. This is about KNOWING it and still not limiting your sexual activity with other people.

 

Telling people that genital herpes is the same as having HSV1 or chicken pox is not helping the cause here at all, only exasorbating it by ticking people off.

 

And SnO you keep harping that so many people do not know they have it - how is that even relevant? If theyhave not had an active outbreak and are having safe sex with condoms and getting tested regularly the chances of them passing it on to someon else is pretty slim. And i disagree wtih you that the majority of the population does not get tested regularly. STD awareness is higher than it ever has been and yes, many people get tested on a regular basis.

[Taomagicdragon]

As often as Jaded and I lock horns (civilly albeit fervently) I agree with her on this.

 

Facts: Herpes has many strains and most of us have at least one strain or another

 

HOWEVER

 

Some strains are more harmful than others with residual effects. Chicken pox is a strain but compare it to genital herpes; the presentation of symptoms, effects of long term health, and how it is spread AND diagnosed are completely different. There are many strains of influenza however some are deadly (rarer) while others are a minor head cold (common).

 

Just because they are of the same family of viruses does not mean that all strains are the same and to think that is just immature and ignorant. They have different symptoms, presentations, diagnoses, and treatments.

 

The OP's intent, like her last thread, is not to warn about STD's. Her first thread went from saying "People should not have a bias agasint those with STD/I's" to "C'mon guys, chill out it's not a big deal" and this thread is just another step further almost attacking people who refuse to have sex with someone who has an STD/I or for being zealous in their precaution before having sex.

 

No offense meant to the OP but it seems you have yet to come to terms with your own promiscuity and the fact you have an STD and your outlet of aggression, your way to vent, is to make these posts.

 

To the OP, learn that just because we disagree with your promiscuous lifestyle does not mean we are disagreeing with you because of your STD, the two are not connected in most of the posters' eyes and you seem unwilling to distinguish not wanting to catch an STD from prejudice against those with STD's; again I reiterate that those two are wholly separate and you alone are making them connected.

[JadedStar]

This doesn't mean you are making it on my buddy list Tao.

 

LOL

 

 

[Sparkly Eyes]

Herpes, even genital one is like a skin disease. It doesn't have any bad effect on your health other than that. I think the only thing is ppl just get really scared of is having those things on their genitals really. I mean I wouldnt mind if something once in a while happens to my arms legs or even face and goes away after a while. but that area just seems scary. I have to admit though, if someone who I really love and see myself with have it I will not mind it. But he should be qualified not just a guy! In that case I would risk it.

 

jaded, a question for you. if your husband who apparently you love gets genital herpes without sexual contact with other ppl,( actually it is possible!) would you stop sleeping with him??

[lonely rose]

cold sores are a different type of herpes (HSV1), if you google them, you'll read that they are very common and found in 90% of the population (in dormant phase). i've had an outbreak twice in my life. It is not something you have to bring up to your SO.

[Taomagicdragon]

This doesn't mean you are making it on my buddy list Tao.

 

LOL

 

 

 

Wouldn't dream of it. (That sounded harsher than I intended, hmm)

 

 

[Snoopy24]

I have been tested, and thankfully I don't have it. I don't look down on anyone who does have it and I fully understand some people aren't aware of std's they have and they do spread that way. But if you ARE aware IMO you shouldn't be sleeping with multiple people..

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

I couldn't read all of this, but if you have unprotected oral sex with someone who has HSV1 (mouth sores) you CAN contract sores on your genitals.

 

There isn't a "good" herpes and a "bad" herpes.

 

Sorry if this is redundant, but I got the vibe people were thinking this.

[Taomagicdragon]

I have been tested, and thankfully I don't have it. I don't look down on anyone who does have it and I fully understand some people aren't aware of std's they have and they do spread that way. But if you ARE aware IMO you shouldn't be sleeping with multiple people..

 

 

What is with me lately? I'm agreeing with Mythical, Jaded, and now you... One of you needs to say something I can disagree with before we all start singing around a campfire....

[dragon lady]

I used to think that I would risk an STD like herpes for love, but now I'm not so sure. Not long ago I had a bout of trich. Although it wasn't serious and was totally curable, I didn't like the way doctors treated me (I had to go to several because the tests kept coming up negative, but I knew something was wrong). When I told them the story of how I got it they would just roll their eyes and then lecture me about using condoms. I don't ever want to go through this kind of thing again, so if a guy were to tell me he had herpes before we had sex, I would refuse and stop seeing him. If he didn't tell me, then I'd hunt him down and make sure he could never have sex again.

[doyathink]

What is with me lately? I'm agreeing with Mythical, Jaded, and now you... One of you needs to say something I can disagree with before we all start singing around a campfire....

 

Kumbyah man....lol

[Snoopy24]

What is with me lately? I'm agreeing with Mythical, Jaded, and now you... One of you needs to say something I can disagree with before we all start singing around a campfire....

 

haha, the sky is green?

[JadedStar]

Herpes, even genital one is like a skin disease. It doesn't have any bad effect on your health other than that. I think the only thing is ppl just get really scared of is having those things on their genitals really. I mean I wouldnt mind if something once in a while happens to my arms legs or even face and goes away after a while. but that area just seems scary. I have to admit though, if someone who I really love and see myself with have it I will not mind it. But he should be qualified not just a guy! In that case I would risk it.

 

jaded, a question for you. if your husband who apparently you love gets genital herpes without sexual contact with other ppl,( actually it is possible!) would you stop sleeping with him??

 

You are incorrect. Herpes does have the potential to adversely affect your health other than an occasional lesion. Do your homework.

 

If my SO comes home with genital herpes then I know something is up. He would not have gotten it witohout sexual contact, and yes I would stop sleeping with him.

 

Getting genital herpes thru non sexual activity is EXTREMELY rare.

[JeckyllNHyde]

According to my doctor, I have it. I have yet to confirm with tests.

I found out in June. Man, the first few days I cried my eyes out. My bf felt so bad watching me go thru it. Even though it's not HIV it still felt like it. It wasn't the obnoxious, sobbing crying. More of the sudden tears out of no where when I began to cry. Never once did he think "did she cheat?" We'd been together 6 months at this point. When I told my best friend, he was pretty supportive of me too. But I mostly leaned on my bf. I couldn't bring myself to tell anyone else. It's still a big secret of mine.

 

For him it was out of the question to even break up. In fact he acted like it was the most normal thing in the world and to me, it was something HUGE which I had. I don't think anyone has ever done something that nice for me to show me they love me. (Apart from my parents of course). So when they say herpes can somehow be a blessing in disguise, I can relate. Would I rather not have it? Hell yes.

 

I'm MORE AFRAID then my bf, since I don't want to pass it along to him. Infact I'm the one always putting the brakes on things if I am having an outbreak or think I will.

 

Here's the kicker: I don't know if I could handle it like him, having been brought up to think "herpes is the worst thing ever, and only promiscious people get it. so run away from a partner who does!" Of course I don't see things this way and I see the stereotypes are wrong.

No judgements please. But I would be scared to continue with someone knowing I could get it. I think eventually I would decide to stay with the person if we'd been together for long.

 

Also, herpes sucks. I'm gonna be honest. It's no fun having outbreaks all of a sudden due to work/relationship stress or having to run to the doctors.

I was never one to sleep around and use(d) condoms almost all the time. Very limited amount of partners, yet I have it. Bf got tested and he doesn't, so I must have had it all along and not known.

 

I've learnt to just accept it and move past it.

However, I couldn't bring myself to have multiple partners knowing I had it. Once again, it's not Aids, but I still wouldn't want to be the one passing it along to others even if they where ok with it.

[JadedStar]

For me I have been with my SO long enough to know that if he comes down with herpes, genital herpes, it happened while we were together.

 

I would leave some doubt as to maybe it happened innocently, but I am not going to lie. I would be so supicious and doubtful at that point that it might tear us apart.

 

I would expect the same from him if i all of a sudden tested positive for herpes.

[JeckyllNHyde]

For me I have been with my SO long enough to know that if he comes down with herpes, genital herpes, it happened while we were together.

 

I would leave some doubt as to maybe it happened innocently, but I am not going to lie. I would be so supicious and doubtful at that point that it might tear us apart.

 

I would expect the same from him if i all of a sudden tested positive for herpes.

 

that;s the thing. people can have herpes in their system lie dormant for years. i've read of couples getting it at age 52 and they've been married for 30 yrs. NEVER cheated.. it's a tricky tricky disease.

 

chances are PROBABLY slim though of it lying dormant this long, but for me? I hadnt slept with anyone in a yr before my bf. and i alwas used condoms. but as u know herpes can even pass thru them

[JadedStar]

that;s the thing. people can have herpes in their system lie dormant for years. i've read of couples getting it at age 52 and they've been married for 30 yrs. NEVER cheated.. it's a tricky tricky disease.

 

chances are PROBABLY slim though of it lying dormant this long, but for me? I hadnt slept with anyone in a yr before my bf. and i alwas used condoms.

 

Even if it is dormant my understanding is it will show up in an STD test for herpes if you are specifically asking for that test. And since he and I both were tested before we were in a sexual relationship, yes I will be leary.

 

it's like HIV. Someone might have HIV and never get AIDS. But if they are TESTED for AIDS, the HIV will still show up in the test even tho the virus is dormant, hence not turning into full blown AIDS>

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

Thanks for sharing this. It takes a lot of courage to talk about these things. People also need to realize that safe, smart, good people do get STDs, sadly. So many misconceptions. We need education!

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

Even if it is dormant my understanding is it will show up in an STD test for herpes if you are specifically asking for that test. And since he and I both were tested before we were in a sexual relationship, yes I will be leary.

 

it's like HIV. Someone might have HIV and never get AIDS. But if they are TESTED for AIDS, the HIV will still show up in the test even tho the virus is dormant, hence not turning into full blown AIDS>

 

That's the downside you have to ask for specific tests. General STD tests omit a lot of diseases and strains, so people think they are clean when they are not.

[JeckyllNHyde]

yes, iphigneasayshi is right.

 

 

oh yea and i forgot to add, another reason i would NOT want multiple partners or why i wouldn't put up with a cheating partner:

herpes can make it easier to catch hiv and other diseases. i have 1, i dont want more..

[JadedStar]

That's the downside you have to ask for specific tests. General STD tests omit a lot of diseases and strains, so people think they are clean when they are not.

 

We both asked for very SPECIFIC tests.

 

I would not have slept with him otherwise. Yes, genital herpes was a test we both asked for specifically, so if suddenly he tests positive for it now, something is screwy. We were tested for HSV1 and HSV2. If he comes home with HSV2, there is trouble in texas.

[Sn0man]

I totally disagree. Your post does nothing but promote promiscuity IMO.

 

Anyone who is honestly arguing that chicken pox and genital herpes are the same is honestly making a weak and ridiculous argument. They are a strain of herpes but they do NOT have the same lifelong ramifications.

I'm most certainly not promoting promiscuity. To accuse me of that is rediculous - i'm simply pointing out facts.

Yes - they have the same lifelong ramifications. Herpes is a disease, and no matter what form either you or anyone else has it is still herpes. You get it, and you live with it until you die. Sure, 100% of ignorant people think differently - like they've only had a cold sore so it's no big deal. Well i'm telling you it's as big a deal as any otherr form of the disease - it's how you THINK about it that basically makes one strain different from the other, apart from the obvious. HSV1 can be spread just as well as HSV2, and Chicken Pox, Shingles, or any other form, and can be passed from mother to child just the same. You can also spread it from one part of your body to the other, thus giving yourself another form of the disease (same strain, different place) - look it up if you dont believe me. Anyone who gets any form of it has lifelong ramifications - no matter what.

 

Agree or disagree I could care less - but these are the facts.

 

That is NOT the case in regards to the OP and this thread. She is not going to great lengths to keep others from getting it and she isn't at the stage where she does not know she has it. She knows she has it and has become angry at others for saying that she is irresponsible for continuing to have multiple partners and because they are saying they would not knowingly sleep with a person they KNOW is infected.

 

My intention was never to support any poster in this thread nor to condone their behaviour. I'm just chipping my 2 cents in. I'm not contributing to a hijacked thread here-just offering what I know about the subject.

[Sn0man]

@ Jadedstar

And SnO you keep harping that so many people do not know they have it - how is that even relevant? If theyhave not had an active outbreak and are having safe sex with condoms and getting tested regularly the chances of them passing it on to someon else is pretty slim. And i disagree wtih you that the majority of the population does not get tested regularly. STD awareness is higher than it ever has been and yes, many people get tested on a regular basis.

Um - no. You're wrong. If it wasn't that easy to pass on it wouldn't have been around for the thousands of years that is has. The reason it gets passed around is because most people have no idea they have it. If you don't know you have it - why take extra precautions, right? Plus standard STD tests don't test for herpes - but you already know that because you get tested regularly - right?

 

And I never said anything about the majority of the population getting tested regularly - you can bark at someone else for that one, thanks.

 

@ greywolf

That's where you're wrong. Herpes simplex is a type of herpes, just as VZV is a type of herpes. VZV is not a herpes simplex virus.

Or, we could split hairs...

[Sn0man]

A refreshing read. Especially after sorting though all the BS and complete and utter ignorance in this thread. Thank you.