My 8 Year Old Son and His Hair

[ImThatGirl]

So - my son decided a few weeks ago that he does Not want a haircut. I think last haircut was first week of August.

 

I told him he could let it grow until picture day which is tomorrow. Last night he told me he really doesn't want it cut.

 

I'm so used to the crew cut.... Aye! I guess I'm not completely against it staying as is with a little trim but . . . but. for pictures!

 

So? What's the word fellow parents?

[hers]

Does it look bad? Is it kept clean and brushed? If it isn't dirty and nappy, then I say let him have it as he wants!

[ImThatGirl]

Here's a picture - am I just being overly fussy? This pic was taken after playing hard at the park.

 

image removed

[ImThatGirl]

Eh... looking at the picture makes me realize that maybe I'm being a bit too much controlling on my persistance to have a crew cut. .. . .

 

I suppose I just worry... People like his grandma will think "Why didn't YOU get his hair cut for pictures at least!"

[hers]

I think it looks cute! I was thinking he has long hippie hair or something! It looks good...let him have it how he wants!

[ImThatGirl]

I think it looks cute! I was thinking he has long hippie hair or something! It looks good...let him have it how he wants!

 

lol I figured I'd post a picture so it was clear that it's not really long!

 

Thank you hersmudders!

[Seraphim]

My son is saying the same thing. Can you compromise on the kind of cut?? My son and I came to a comprimise that we are both happy with. Independance and self expression should be supported. He is learning decision making and his sense of who he is. My husband was denied this even at 16 he was told how he was going to look and that was THAT. Now he is the most uptight and anal individual alive that could not make a decision if you poked him in the eye with a poker. (phew) LOL BTW I think he is very handsome.

[DN]

My daughter went through the same thing with my grandson. He didn't want his cut and grew it fairly long before he wanted it cut because it got too hot.

 

It's good to let kids make decisions on their own - so much of their lives have to be governed by parents as it is by necessity.

 

Plus - you save a bundle on haircuts.

[ImThatGirl]

^^ Thank you for sharing that Victoria! I have many lessons to learn. I do work at letting my kids be independent and make choices but oh it's so hard for me! I better learn to lighten up before they are teenagers. Or else I'll be the mom from h...

[redhearts]

Eventually they get older and decide their own hair cuts. Even color! LOL They look like picture perfect models!

[Karmageddon]

Being a total mop head is back in style. Pick your battles hon, let him have a little autonomy over the way he looks. Doesn't sound like he is asking for anything ridiculous!

 

My ex wouldn't let the girls cut their hair b/c HE liked it long. Well he also wasnt the one combing it out through tears in the bathroom either. They all have short hair now that they get to choose, so it backfired on him.

[Shadows Light]

He's cute... let the hair thing go. It's not that long. And it's not as if

he's asked you to dye it purple.

 

Trust me.. those questions will come up.

 

Yesterday, D6 wanted to chose he own outfit to school. Wonderful. I crossed my fingers and hoped for the best. Once last year she chose to wear her Cinderella Costume to School and it wasn't halloween. My mother nearly had a coronary. Me? I thought. huh.... she's dressed, all body parts covered.. looks fine to me.

 

Yesterday.. she chose... a nice pair of dress slacks. And a very nice dess blouse. No problem right.... ? Well she also chose her little high heel barbie play sandals. The ones that go click, click, click... when she walks.

 

So... I let her wear it. told her how very nice she looked and.. ohhhh, ya know..."it might get cold today. How about I put in a pair of socks and tennis shoes in your back pack. Then even if you want to change to go to the play ground... you have a choice." She thought it was a GREAT idea... I thought.... "wheew.. it gets me out of the teacher thinkin I completely lost my marbles" lol.

 

Kids. gotta love em. I think your son is trying to exercise some control over his environment... and over himself. So he doesn't want a hair cut... big deal. It won't hurt anything. And....guess what? Many many years down the road.. you'll be looking at that picture and you'll smile. You'll smile because you'll have a document of when your little man decided that it was time to spread his wings and make his own decisions.

 

Besides... this picture will probably be better than the one he may have at 16.. when he's sporting the MOHAWK.. piercings.. Tats...

 

JUST KIDDING !!!!! JUST KIDDING... !!!!

[Seraphim]

^^ Thank you for sharing that Victoria! I have many lessons to learn. I do work at letting my kids be independent and make choices but oh it's so hard for me! I better learn to lighten up before they are teenagers. Or else I'll be the mom from h...

 

NP hun. I think sometimes we have to remember is not about US, know what I mean?? It is not a reflection on US, but more an expression of their induviduality. As long as they are clean and combed it should not be too big a deal.

 

Remember we can not always make decisions for them,especially when they leave us, but they learn how to make decisions in childhood. As long as they are not harming someone else or themself, give them a little break.

 

I know it is SO hard hun, but it is necessary.

[ImThatGirl]

You are all absolutely awesome! I hope ya know that!

 

I now have tears in my eyes... Ah.. My little man is growing up. And I should allow him to make choices... more choices than what he wants to eat for breakfast I suppose. Okay, okay - I let him make more choices than that but I do fear that I don't let him make enough. And he is... 8 not 2.

 

Love the story Shadows! I bet D6 loves being able to choose on her own! Love it love it and I can so relate. My daughter (who is in the picture too..) last year insisted on picking her clothes for daycare. I swear the girls there had a contest everyday "Let's see what our parents will let us get out of the house in!" She's done better at choosing this year for kindergarten. My son is more into his own style.. Camo pants... He also likes plaid. He's got a good eye for style I think. They both do.

 

Aw, Karma, I can so relate! I remember before my daughter was born, her dad and I fussed and fussed over if we'd let her have long hair or not. One of his cousins had a daughter that always had long ratty hair. I told him no way! Well... my daughter - hehe - I type this laughing... She has really fine hair so it being long isn't too bad. But darn if she doesn't trim her hair about once a year (if she comes accross scissors - they are all hidden very well now.) And she insisted on having a haircut before school so it's shorter now than what her dad likes it.

 

Funny how I let her decide on her hair and she's 5 but have difficulty allowing my son and he's 8.

 

Hmmm! lol The decision has been made. I will not take my son to have his hair cut after I pick them up today.

[ImThatGirl]

NP hun. I think sometimes we have to remember is not about US, know what I mean?? It is not a reflection on US, but more an expression of their induviduality. As long as they are clean and combed it should not be too big a deal.

 

Remember we can not always make decisions for them,especially when they leave us, but they learn how to make decisions in childhood. As long as they are not harming someone else or themself, give them a little break.

 

I know it is SO hard hun, but it is necessary.

 

I'm so glad you posted this because I do have difficulty specifically with the bolded.

 

I am mostly confident as a mother. But there's always that little thought of "but this will be a reflection of me... how my kids look is a direct reflection of my parenting...!" I have learned to relax over time and them getting to an age where they truly want to make their own decisions on clothing, etc. I do let my daughter wear that orange shirt with the purple skirt every now and then. And my son wear those shirts that 5 years ago would have looked more like shirts that alternative style...

 

Thanks - I have much thinking and growing to do yet!

[Mythical_Suicide]

My 3 year old has recently told me he didn't want his hair cut, he wanted long hair like his uncle so be it and my sons hair looks alot worse than yours. He has cow licks in the worst places so it's all sticking up in one area and laying down in others no matter what I do LOL

[Shadows Light]

D6 is a percocious... as is her sister D9. They surprise me everyday!

Nothing... is like I thought it would be prior to having children. I used to

make many judgement calls before having children. Being a spectator is ohhhh so much easier than participating. hee-hee.

 

There's an old saying.. Do you want to make God laugh? Tell him you have a plan !!!!!

 

 

When D6 was 2 years old... she overheard me telling grandma that I'd be taking her to get her first haircut at the end of the week. We were having a family picuture done.

 

I came home the next day... and Grandma was in tears. D2 was no where to be found. What is it? what happened? Where is she?

 

Grandma pointed to a hall closet.

 

I walked to the closet.. opened the door.. and there was my precious little angel.. hiding from mommy.

 

And surprise surprise.. she gave herself a HAIR CUT.

 

A reverse MO-HAWK.

 

YEP.... straight UP the middle. She cut a straight patch up the middle.

 

OH MY!!!! what to do.. what to do. I went to 3 hair dressers who all agreed... "don't touch it".. the only thing that could have been done is to shave her bald.

 

So? We left it as is... and we took the family picture.

 

My first lesson in the best laid plans of mice and men... or moms in this case.

 

Let nothing... surprise you.

 

Parenting.. is not for the weak. To be a good mom/dad... one must cultivate a sense of humor and learn to LAUGH often.

[ImThatGirl]

Mythical, My son has a double crown. So actually, with it the length it is, it lies better. I can imagine the cow licks tho! I'm sure absolutely adorable!!!

 

Shadows - I love that saying. If you want to make God laugh, have a plan. Maybe I should learn to be a tadbit less uptight. I have lots of rules mostly for myself. Quite picky and expect things to go by my plan. I like it that way. But perhaps it isn't the best way of operating.

 

Oh my goodness about the haircut!!! I'd love to see that picture!!!!!! Hahahahah! Sometimes you can't do anything except laugh, huh? See now... I would have cancelled the pics. I agree that you should have went anyway! But I would have been worried about what other people would think when I showed them the pic.

 

On the otherhand, when my daughter was 2.5, I went upstairs to do grab laundry - 2 minutes... I had left peanut butter out on the counter downstairs. When I got back downstairs, she had the jar of peanut butter empty all over herself including in her hair. lol I shared that picture with all. And the haircuts of course - never did she cut super close to the head but they've been quite messy haircuts!

 

I've learned to laugh much.... and stress little really. I certainly don't have a problem with letting my kids be kids. It's just the "letting my kids grow up" part...

[ljoy74]

Hes very cute! You should be proud. There are several boys in my day care that have hair down past there shoulders which I just think is GROSS. And it's about time he atleast gets to interject his opinion once in a while.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

Actually, his hair isn't long at all... it just isn't a crew cut.

 

Buzz cuts are starting to be 'out' these days. Perhaps Mom should let him update his look?

[ImThatGirl]

Actually, his hair isn't long at all... it just isn't a crew cut.

 

Buzz cuts are starting to be 'out' these days. Perhaps Mom should let him update his look?

 

 

Thank you BSBH! I let him keep his hair. Probably still could use a trim but I just left it as is. He's got his pictures today. And I'm sure he's as cute as ever in them.

 

I also talked to his grandma last night and informed her that he still didn't want his haircut and I decided to let him make the decision (so long as it isn't too long...) She and I both have a hard time with him getting older.

 

I talked to him about it last night too. Told him that since he's 8, I had decided that it is time for him to make some choices like how he wants his hair. He responded with "well what other choices will I be able to make?"

 

I can handle this, right? Absolutely! I just need to maybe not hold "too" tight.

[Seraphim]

Awwww we ALL have troubles with that. HUG

[jengh]

aww, ITG... I can't even imagine what it must be like for your kid to be growing up and making his own decisions.. but, I DO think it IS an important part of growing up. Let him be=)

 

Plus, the hair looks cute.

 

AND...if it looks bad in the picture, there's always re-takes

[confusedmama]

I have 3 boys and they have all gone through phases of hair length! The rule in my house is that they have to keep it clean and combed. I don't care what color is it, how long it is, how they have it styled but it HAS to be clean.

 

My 14 year old keeps his at shoulder length, the 11 year is back into the crew cut after 2 years and the 7 year old really doens' thave a style, but hates to be told what to do with his hair.

 

When they argue about washing and combing it, I make the appt to get it cut. It works. And they have some feeling of control because that it really what it is all about.