sarah1971 Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 My sister who is in her mid 30s is attractive,funny,smart and has more friends close friends than people I even know. The problem is since she divorced 6 yrs ago she has been in and out of relationships like every few months. What happens is she fall head over heals for a guy then he leaves her and she is devastated.her husband cheated on her and left her and I don't think she ever got over it. She has tryed blind dates, all the dating sites, friends have tryed to hook her up but all with the same results her getting dumped. All I can think of is it maybe related to the fact her husband cheated on her and left her for anouther women. It took her yrs of therapy to even accept it for real and I don't think she ever got over it. Her son who looks just like his dad(exhusband)is a constant reminder. I just can't understand someone who is so popular can't hold onto a man longer than 6 months? Link to comment
redhearts Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 She could be purposely doing something, or subconsciously doing something to push them away. I mean I can't really guess its probably more of a post she have to write herself. Because I don't think you know exactly what goes on between her and these guys. Or maybe when does she tell guys that shes been divorced or has a kid? Or does she bring up her past relationship or dating experiences a lot? Or compares her ex husband to the guy she dates after a few months? Link to comment
ghost69 Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 she's probably clingy it sounds. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 You gave the reason yourself, she is not over it. She might be accusing them of the same thing and is clingy and desperate. Not many men will go for this. I hope she does not treat her son badly for the way he looks. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 Maybe she is trying too hard to find someone, anyone that she is falling in love with the notion of having someone and is not really seeing the kind of person she is dating...she is settling for anyone and that is why things are not working out. Link to comment
JeckyllNHyde Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 just b/c someone is a good friend doesn't mean they will make a good bf/gf i feel. also, have you ever asked her what reasons these guys give to her for ending it? Link to comment
Butterflygrl Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 I would have to agree. men (and women) can smell desperation and clingy a mile away. She may not start out like that but sounds like once the men profess their love for her, she changes who she is and becomes someone else or what she thinks they want her to be. That is the mistake many women make (men too)-but women seem to be more keen on making men happy.- Link to comment
sarah1971 Posted September 3, 2008 Author Share Posted September 3, 2008 It maybe the fact she is to "clingy" and desires to have the "perfect marrage". I do know she would love to be married again and maybe even have anouther baby(she always wanted 2 kids). I do also know she still complains about what her exhusband did to her and anytime he does something she does not like we all hear about it. Don't know for sure if she complains about her exhusband to any new BF's but I do know she does to her friends/family. Link to comment
redhearts Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 Shes not ready to date, shes not over her exhusband. Right now shes trying to get a guy to "replace" her exhusband and fill his shoes basically. Link to comment
Zeitgeist Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 I suspect that she carries quite a bit of baggage from her past relationship. But that's not the problem because most of us carry baggage. The problem is that it sounds like she's bringing that baggage into her new relationships. They are affecting her outlook and probably her ability to trust another person. You said it yourself - you don't know if she ever got over it. Which probably means she hasn't. If you talk to her and find that she's deeply unhappy, it may be a good idea for her to seek some counseling. Link to comment
annie24 Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 Maybe she is trying too hard to find someone, anyone that she is falling in love with the notion of having someone and is not really seeing the kind of person she is dating...she is settling for anyone and that is why things are not working out. I agree with this. honestly, i am kind of in that same situation - have a million friends, but haven't had a bf longer than 6 months in..... gosh, i don't even remember how long! One possibility (at least in my case) is getting mixed up with the wrong guys. ie, falling for someone before really getting to know them. I think i've gotten better lately at "screening" bad candidates. Maybe she hasn't been doing the same thing, or ignoring signs that a person isn't right for her. I don't necessarily agree with the 'clingy' thing - because i'm not clingy. I definitely have my own life outside of the relationship. She could just be having a streak of bad luck too? Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.