Why do so many teenagers seem obsessed with having babies???

[JeckyllNHyde]

Luckily I never went thru this "fase" of wanting a child. Lol, to be honest I still don't.

But a very close friend of mine purposely got pregnant (yes, her mom took her to get birthcontrol when she was 17 and she purposely STOPPED taking them) with her bf of a year or so.

When I asked her later down the line why, she told me b/c she always had felt empty deep down, like she didn't have anything. Even though she had a bf she wanting something "more". So... she had a kid. (She doesn't even have a high school degree, but now 3-4 years later I think she is trying to get one). She somewhat regretted her decision later of course since she now realises that babies require you to have money + time.

 

And roasted carrots lol. That comment about the dog made me chuckle but it's SO true... specially for young girls it's a pretty practical way to go... they should advertise that in commercials for Teen Pregnancies.

[Catdancer]

I just found this on this forum posted just a couple of days ago:

 

"My 13 year old friend did it, to trick her boyfriend into marrying her.

 

On another advice forum, I recently read a 15 year old girl's post about her seeking advice on why she's not yet pregnant. Everyone swamped her with "Why the hell are you trying?" and she replied that her 35 year old lover loves babies but recently dumped her, and she wants him back, and he'd only come back if she was pregnant. She was planning on setting up a date to just have sex, get pregnant, then snare him that way."

 

Stuff like this just makes me ill. No one cares that it's a BABY!! All they seem to care about is keeping the bf close! Ugh!!!!

[SapphireNoir10]

Hah here in the UK our teenage pregnancy rate is TERRIBLE. Infact kids are always getting pregnant here just for the sake of council flats and money. And benefits. They dont quite get it.

[agent1607307371]

On a sad aside, I was reading an article a couple of weeks ago that was about how some teenage boys were trying to get their girlfriends pregnant as a way to keep them. Very sad.

 

I can understand 11 and 12 year olds wanting babies - they probably see them as something like dolls.

 

And girls are raised that if you're a woman your worth comes from having children.

[Catdancer]

On a sad aside, I was reading an article a couple of weeks ago that was about how some teenage boys were trying to get their girlfriends pregnant as a way to keep them. Very sad.

 

I can understand 11 and 12 year olds wanting babies - they probably see them as something like dolls.

 

And girls are raised that if you're a woman your worth comes from having children.

 

Wow, so I guess it's both boys and girls doing this. What is wrong with them???

[Parsley]

D_Lish - It's not compulsory, at least it wasn't when I was at school and that was only 2 years ago, and I haven't heard anything from younger people I know at school about it. I went to a Catholic school, and we were literally taught the stuff we *needed* to know on how a baby is born, the science of it. This was the only sex education, it was in Science, and never outside that. There was nothing whatsoever on STDs or the impact having sex has on you as a person or in a relationship (no matter what the age). Yes, we did have a couple of pregnancies, the one I remember most is someone being unaware of her state until she was 8 months gone (how I just don't know. She was 15/16 at the time) But still, regardless of that not all of us were going out getting pregnant. So while I do agree that sex education should be mandatory, I also think that the majority of girls that get pregnant are of the "It would never happen to me" persuasion.

 

My area has a particularly high level of teenage pregnancies, so much that when I visit my boyfriend in Bath (quite an affluent area for those not from the UK) I notice that I'm not surrounded by kids holding their children, whereas in my home town in the high street, you'd be hard pressed to find a group of teenagers without one of them pushing a pram. It's quite sad, because you can see there is a definite correlation between a richer area and fewer teenager pregnancies, and you know it's just making their path to a comfortable life a lot harder.

 

I agree with whoever it was that said that housing on benefit shouldn't be an incentive, but even the appalling state of council estates and the ridiculous level of crime contained within...having somewhere they call their own and don't have to pay for seems to be drawing them in...

[Catdancer]

Parsley...it's like that in the US too. We have government housing and wellfare. So, once they're pregnant, they get a free home, food, and all their bills paid. They sue the father for child support and they're set for life. These places are horrible. The crime rate is so high. When I lived in virginia beach years ago, a 5 year old shot the ice cream man, he was driving the ice cream truck thru the getto neighborhood and the 5 year old didnt have any money to buy ice cream so he got his dad's gun and shot the ice cream man.

 

I cant believe anyone would want to live in a place like this. I understand that for some it's a stepping stone until they can better themselves and get out. Those people I respect. But wanting to spend your life like this and CHOOSING to is just horrible to me.

[Parsley]

^ totally. And using a baby as their stepping stone...wow.

[D_Lish]

D_Lish - It's not compulsory, at least it wasn't when I was at school and that was only 2 years ago, and I haven't heard anything from younger people I know at school about it. I went to a Catholic school, and we were literally taught the stuff we *needed* to know on how a baby is born, the science of it. This was the only sex education, it was in Science, and never outside that. There was nothing whatsoever on STDs or the impact having sex has on you as a person or in a relationship (no matter what the age).

 

Okies Sure I heard it was on tv sometime back...maybe I was mistaken. You've described pretty much what we learnt also and I'm going back a lot of years ago...so you'd think these lessons would have advanced a lot. Most of what we were learnt was taught in biology lessons, reproductive organs, how they functioned, etc, etc...remember also having to sit and watch a film that showed a woman giving birth. I remember a boy in my class, actually fainting when he watched this film. We were also taught about the menstural cycle, but I don't recall the boys being present on these occasions. But I came out of it all knowing 'exactly' what it took to make a baby...lol

 

My area has a particularly high level of teenage pregnancies, so much that when I visit my boyfriend in Bath (quite an affluent area for those not from the UK) I notice that I'm not surrounded by kids holding their children, whereas in my home town in the high street, you'd be hard pressed to find a group of teenagers without one of them pushing a pram. It's quite sad, because you can see there is a definite correlation between a richer area and fewer teenager pregnancies, and you know it's just making their path to a comfortable life a lot harder.

 

I agree with whoever it was that said that housing on benefit shouldn't be an incentive, but even the appalling state of council estates and the ridiculous level of crime contained within...having somewhere they call their own and don't have to pay for seems to be drawing them in...

 

It's the same where I live. Lots of teenage mums and pregnant teenage mums...and I agree that you tend to find this for the majority, in the deprived areas. I live in a big town, some parts are deprived, other parts of it are akin to living in the suburbs. But you would notice that the majority of teenage mums/pregnant teenage mums are from the deprived/council estate areas.

 

I actually blame the Government I think. Kids leave school these days at 16 and they are expected to look for work immediately and they do not get benefit till aged 18. But jobs are hard to come by and it's a lot to expect, that every teenager is going to find work. Not only that, but Britain is a small country and we have people in their thousands arriving here daily from countries such as Poland and other parts of Europe to find work. There are not the jobs to go around.

 

Those teenage kids who do not find work, are living on nothing. Their parents, if they are unemployed, also no longer receive benefits to support their teenage kids once they leave school. Hence is why, when they can't find jobs, a lot will turn to crime and there are those girls who get pregnant as a means to get money, a council house.

 

Sad state of affairs indeed.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

I think many children now are fundamentally lonely and neglected, especially the children of drug mothers, and they see having a baby as having something to love them (not vice versa as is the reality).

 

they also have the role models of their own mothers having babies as teenagers, and their peers having babies so they want to jump on the bandwagon thinking it will bring them happiness.

 

many also falsely assume a pregnancy will keep a boy around/get him more interested in them.

[Cadence_oO]

11 YEARS OLD?!

 

Geez....I thought I was too young at 23! Not to mention that I was married and financially secure...

 

They're just children,they don't have the smallest idea of what it's going to be like.So sad actually...

 

If my daughter ever wanted to get pregnant at 16,17 I would seriously blame myself thinking that I didn't give her the love and attention that she needed.

[Whiskers]

I guess I just dont see wellfare and ghetto housing as freedom. And yes, it pissed me off too. I'm a tax payer!

 

In England is very much like this...though it's more complicated and there are many honest people - you can bet your ass that 90% of the kids aren't. The freedom is from the home and rules they might be under.

 

 

 

XXXX

[ColdHands...]

In the UK, I reckon many young girls see it as a career path!! No joke...they wont admit to it, but I have a feeling they think like this;

I'd like to be a model or a singer, failing that, maybe a hairdresser. If all else fails...I can always be a single mum...I'd get free accommodation and enough benefits to last me a life time!

It takes the biscuit for the majority of honest taxpayers but none more so than those superhero real single mums...who are not stuck in that situation out of choice.

[agent1607307371]

In the UK, I reckon many young girls see it as a career path!! No joke...they wont admit to it, but I have a feeling they think like this;

I'd like to be a model or a singer, failing that, maybe a hairdresser. If all else fails...I can always be a single mum...I'd get free accommodation and enough benefits to last me a life time!

It takes the biscuit for the majority of honest taxpayers but none more so than those superhero real single mums...who are not stuck in that situation out of choice.

 

I'm not sure that's entirely the mentality, I knew a girl who had lots of friends who'd done the baby and council house bit (sh had a council house, to get away from a psycho mum) and she said that by the time they realised they had no lifestyle, that was the lifestyle. With a lot of them, they inherit that way of living and don't know how to escape it.

[ColdHands...]

I'm not sure that's entirely the mentality, I knew a girl who had lots of friends who'd done the baby and council house bit (sh had a council house, to get away from a psycho mum) and she said that by the time they realised they had no lifestyle, that was the lifestyle. With a lot of them, they inherit that way of living and don't know how to escape it.

 

Yeah you're probably right, I dont have much insight into these things so Im open for correction. Either way, what the government is advocating definitely isnt healthy!

[RockabillyLove]

I know a 17 year old with 6 planned kids.

 

At the young mum's group near my house there was a 12 year old with three planned kids. She made me sick even looking at her. She always spoke so casually about how it's okay because her parents have lots of money and they just buy whatever she wants, so she doesn't even need to play with them. I wanted to punch her in the abdomen until her womb gave out and she became sterile.

[jengh]

i hardly knew what sex WAS at 11.

 

how do parents NOT know their 11 year old is having sex? seriously.

 

i saw an episode of maury a year or so back with a bunch of 10, 11, 12yr olds trying to get pregnant. it was apalling.

[jengh]

I know a 17 year old with 6 planned kids.

 

At the young mum's group near my house there was a 12 year old with three planned kids. She made me sick even looking at her. She always spoke so casually about how it's okay because her parents have lots of money and they just buy whatever she wants, so she doesn't even need to play with them. I wanted to punch her in the abdomen until her womb gave out and she became sterile.

 

 

jeeeesus.how is that even possible!!!???

[agent1607307371]

She always spoke so casually about how it's okay because her parents have lots of money and they just buy whatever she wants, so she doesn't even need to play with them.

 

Sounds about right.

 

Her parents don't have time for her, so she replaces them with something that's "hers".

[emmie_g]

Some of the comments on here make me so sad

I got pregnant at 16, it wasnt planned and i dont believe in abortion.

 

I do seriously think that young people who plan to have babies are stupid and selfish.

I wouldnt change my son for anything but planning a child at such a young age is ridiculous and i think its up to people in my situation to talk to these young people but it just doesnt happen.

[blackandgold]

I don't know where you guys are from but around here a baby is not something you want as a teenager. I was recently pregnant but opted for an abortion and it was definatly not something I wanted to happen. Around here if you get pregnant you're risking alot. From your friends, school, even your boyfriend. It seems like when a girl gets pregnant, at least around the people I know, everyone tends to try and stay away from her and her situation. 11 is absolutly extreme and sad, planning a child when youre not prepared to take care of them is stupid and selfish. Some teen mothers do succed but it's definatly not the norm.

[rocio]

I see nothing wrong with teenagers having children. It is natural for teenagers to want children, since, typically, women historically began motherhood in their teens.

 

I have a friend who got married on her 15th birthday and had 2 children by the time she was 17. They faced challenges, of course, but they are still together and happy, 15 years later.

[Catdancer]

I see nothing wrong with teenagers having children. It is natural for teenagers to want children, since, typically, women historically began motherhood in their teens.

 

I have a friend who got married on her 15th birthday and had 2 children by the time she was 17. They faced challenges, of course, but they are still together and happy, 15 years later.

 

I dont have any problems with this. This was the trend for a long time, BUT the difference is that your friend got married, then had kids.

 

My problem is with teens ages 11 to 16 who WANT to get pregnant...no marriage, most times no bf, in an attempt to keep a boy close to them. They dont even seem to care that it's a CHILD that they would have to raise. I just dont understand that mentality.

[rocio]

My problem is with teens ages 11 to 16 who WANT to get pregnant...no marriage, most times no bf, in an attempt to keep a boy close to them.

 

There are also 35 year old women who do this.

 

If a teenager wants children for the right reasons and is able to provide for his basic financial, emotional and spiritual needs, then I see nothing wrong with that. And I think that many (or even most?) teenagers have those resources. Children don't need alot of money, they need alot of love. And teenage girls are perfectly capable of giving that.

[agent1607307371]

I see nothing wrong with teenagers having children. It is natural for teenagers to want children, since, typically, women historically began motherhood in their teens.

 

Yes, but they also belonged to their husbands in way almost unthinkable today and didn't live much past 30.

 

Our lives are different in pretty much every way now, so while I can understand them wanting children, I don't think getting pregnant while you're still legally a child is a good thing.

 

Wanting and having are two very different things.