So sick of women on dating sites painting all men online with the same BRUSH

[a_lifters_life]

because we both PAID for a membership to come accross someone we are attracted to and may possibly want to go on a date with so why now just have a SECONDARY email until she feels comfortable with the guy? It's not like I asked for her phone number, it a fricken email adddress

 

paying to meet people is just a scam in itself.

[ConfusedDater]

I think you may be a bit jaded and frustrated, so take a break!

 

I understand how frustrating the on-line dating thing can be, but there are a few logical explanations:

 

1) She really is afraid and wants to take her time with this. Personal e-mail enters into an entirely new "relationship" level!

 

2) She is just interested in cyber chat because she likes the attention, but has no plans on really meeting...

 

3) She may have othe guys on the line and doesn't want to commit!

 

That's the cyber dating scene, get used ot it or move on to somethig else!

 

 

 

I guess the confusing thing is she contacted me first so if it was the other way around I would have not been as irritated.

[Stambler]

I guess the confusing thing is she contacted me first so if it was the other way around I would have not been as irritated.

 

Hey Dude, I've had women chatting with me every night on IM for a week and then suddenly do a Jeckle and Hyde on me and tell me there aren't interested... I'm sure they found someone that was closer to their fantasy wish-list!

 

Chin up, it will teach you how to deal with life's most common kick in the ASS... rejection

[ImThatGirl]

I guess the confusing thing is she contacted me first so if it was the other way around I would have not been as irritated.

 

Because you want things to be in your control, Man!

 

You didn't like it that you thought for a minute "yeah this girls good - It's gotta go somewhere!" to her putting her foot down and saying "nope, not ready yet."

[gcollier2002]

Just to throw my $.02 in on the matter. -Stambler knows pretty much all there is to know about my issue with the online scene (BTW: Are we still on for the Grocery Store fly-by, Wingman? LOL)

 

Last week I was flaming on how Eharmony is, as the OP said, impersonal and felt stalled after the guided communication was over.

 

-Being the adapt/improvise individual I am, I collected myself and pushed forward. I was able to overcome and by getting the girl's phone number and have been having a great conversation since. As well as initiated some conversation with others that have progressively gotten better.

 

There's no "silver bullet" when it comes to meeting people. This does not sound like one that even fits in your gun, OP. Maybe try a different tactic?

 

-Good luck!

[ghost69]

well I try to get SOMETHING in return for the money I put out for that monthly membership. So the fact that I just paid for a membership last thursday I would like to be on a date before this month is over.

 

 

don't you like to get something back for the money you put out??

 

it's the same if you go out looking and you spend money on a few drinks. do the people out on the town you run into owe you anything for you being there? NOPE!!!!

[Stambler]

^ LOL @ my wingman!

 

OK, all joking and frustration aside...

 

This, IMHO, is why on-line dating is not such a great idea

 

The word is in the street, waving on a huge flag!

Unike real life where it is not obvious that a person is "looking", with on-line dating, once a person's profile is up it is sending the message out to the world saying "I'M LOOKING FOR A DATE/PARTNER/SOULMATE" This makes people easy targets much like deer during hunting season!

 

Can't read the body language, but I'll take a chance

Unlike real life where one can read another's body language, with on-line dating one has NO IDEA about the person they are about to "wink" at or e-mail. Inreal life one can read body language and filter out who is into them vs who is not... thus, a lot of very attractive people get winked at by some very, well, errr, unattractive people

 

Who are You Anyhow?

Once you manage to capture someone's attention and start to chat, you develop an image of this person, a perfect image of who you WANT them to be. When you meet, you will most likely alwatys be a bit dissappointed. Personality, looks, weight, baggage - all things that can be well hidden on-line suddenly appear.

[ImThatGirl]

Who are You Anyhow?[/b]

Once you manage to capture someone's attention and start to chat, you develop an image of this person, a perfect image of who you WANT them to be. When you meet, you will most likely alwatys be a bit dissappointed. Personality, looks, weight, baggage - all things that can be well hidden on-line suddenly appear.

 

I don't get this.

 

It seems as though this train of thinking is expecting the person to be absolutely perfect... Who you "want" them to be?

 

Why not just meet someone online, set a date quickly, go on that date and then you determine if you move forward. Why have all the time and thoughts of what this person may be? All the "fantasizing?"

[Stambler]

I don't get this.

 

It seems as though this train of thinking is expecting the person to be absolutely perfect... Who you "want" them to be?

 

Why not just meet someone online, set a date quickly, go on that date and then you determine if you move forward. Why have all the time and thoughts of what this person may be? All the "fantasizing?"

 

Becasue the majority of people don't do that, they get into an on-line realtionship and develop expectations... That was my point, it is dangerous to stretch things out before meeting.

[ImThatGirl]

Becasue the majority of people don't do that, they get into an on-line realtionship and develop expectations... That was my point, it is dangerous to stretch things out before meeting.

 

I see Stam...

 

But - - - In my opinion - the people that do online dating and jump to conclusions / hopes and all of someone being exactly what they want, probably do the same thing in real time meeting...

 

I think that it says more about those users and maybe online dating is bad for those type of people but not bad all together...

 

Ya know?

[Stambler]

I see Stam...

 

But - - - In my opinion - the people that do online dating and jump to conclusions / hopes and all of someone being exactly what they want, probably do the same thing in real time meeting...

 

I think that it says more about those users and maybe online dating is bad for those type of people but not bad all together...

 

Ya know?

 

 

That's a good point!

 

But, as a warning, it cna be VERY dangerous to develop an on-line relationship...trust me.

[Pegasus]

don't you like to get something back for the money you put out??

 

Hehe...when it comes to women, the only time you get what you actually paid for is when renting a prostitute. And not through a catalog - they tend to send much uglier girls than those in the catalog.

[ConfusedDater]

Hehe...when it comes to women, the only time you get what you actually paid for is when renting a prostitute. And not through a catalog - they tend to send much uglier girls than those in the catalog.

 

 

 

some comedian said on the radio this morning that the only difference between hookers and regular girls is that the hookers get the money UPFRONT-lol

 

 

so true-lol

[LAYAAN]

well I try to get SOMETHING in return for the money I put out for that monthly membership. So the fact that I just paid for a membership last thursday I would like to be on a date before this month is over. don't you like to get something back for the money you put out??

I paid a dating site hefty fee to find me matches. I've been there >3 months and I have gotten only 3 first dates so far. I think, its important to be patient if you want to meet quality girls. If you just want to date around b'coz you've to then I understand your statement. I'm not saying you waste your time after someone that clearly acts stuck up. But cut people some slack. Everyone has their own busy life, everyone has had some bad experiences that makes them proceed with caution. Try to be understanding first and less judgemental of people, you have a better chance of being understood then. Let the non-important stuff slide.

[LAYAAN]

I guess the confusing thing is she contacted me first so if it was the other way around I would have not been as irritated.

 

I'm sensing some pride/ego here. I've faced this before. I've had guys contact me and then flake out. If someone contacts you they are acting on their gut feeling after watching your photos, going over profile etc. They are interested enough based on the given information to go ahead and make a move. They did that. Eventually may be they felt this is not as good as I initially thought it was or some better opportunity came accross. That is just how things work. I don't see anything unnatural in it. Don't be a doormat but its important to have patience!

[jenny_mcs]

The more I read your posts the more I am convinced you are a huge control freak. You have this elaborate set of rules that you want women to follow- how often they should contact you, days of the week that are appropriate for a date, question she can/can't ask, etc.

 

Well, maybe this woman has her own set of rules- like she wants to exchange x number of messages via the site before she gives out her personal email.

 

But when the shoe is on the other foot, you get angry.

 

So, all these women must follow YOUR rules about how to contact, how much contact, when to go out on dates, etc. but can't have any guidelines of their own.

 

Good luck with that- I predict you will be single a long time.

[ConfusedDater]

The more I read your posts the more I am convinced you are a huge control freak. You have this elaborate set of rules that you want women to follow- how often they should contact you, days of the week that are appropriate for a date, question she can/can't ask, etc.

 

Well, maybe this woman has her own set of rules- like she wants to exchange x number of messages via the site before she gives out her personal email.

 

But when the shoe is on the other foot, you get angry.

 

So, all these women must follow YOUR rules about how to contact, how much contact, when to go out on dates, etc. but can't have any guidelines of their own.

 

Good luck with that- I predict you will be single a long time.

 

 

 

Any guy who gets a reply from a HOT GIRL is going to want to take things to the next level immediately, like email, and then phone and then the date. I know that I'm competition with other men so why waste time chatting on the line when we can be offline. I didn't pay for the site to find a online buddy or a penpal, i want a date

[ghost69]

Any guy who gets a reply from a HOT GIRL is going to want to take things to the next level immediately, like email, and then phone and then the date. I know that I'm competition with other men so why waste time chatting on the line when we can be offline. I didn't pay for the site to find a online buddy or a penpal, i want a date

 

why do you like the internet so much? i'm still waiting to see your success. the success you keep saying you are having.

[jenny_mcs]

Any guy who gets a reply from a HOT GIRL is going to want to take things to the next level immediately, like email, and then phone and then the date. I know that I'm competition with other men so why waste time chatting on the line when we can be offline. I didn't pay for the site to find a online buddy or a penpal, i want a date

 

Once again, you only seem capable of thinking of things from your own point of view. This perfectly illustrates my point.

 

Take 10 seconds and TRY to think of it from her point of view, and realize she may have reasons for wanting to message a bit via the site. Or, go sulk in the corner. The choice is yours.

[ghost69]

^^^^yeah. it's not like 'hey complete stranger, let's just go on the date.' :S

[george237]

Any guy who gets a reply from a HOT GIRL is going to want to take things to the next level immediately, like email, and then phone and then the date. I know that I'm competition with other men so why waste time chatting on the line when we can be offline. I didn't pay for the site to find a online buddy or a penpal, i want a date

 

False, what if she has the personality of bag of sand? Are you still going to want to take it to the next level. I wouldn't at least.

[ConfusedDater]

why do you like the internet so much? i'm still waiting to see your success. the success you keep saying you are having.

 

I said I have success with FREE DATING Sites, not the pay sites

[ConfusedDater]

False, what if she has the personality of bag of sand? Are you still going to want to take it to the next level. I wouldn't at least.

 

I don't know if she has the personality of a sandbag if I'm not talking on the phone

 

if I met a girl in public i'm sure we are not going to exchange email adresses

[george237]

I said I have success with FREE DATING Sites, not the pay sites

 

Then why pay for the sites if you are getting all of your action from the free sites?

[ghost69]

Then why pay for the sites if you are getting all of your action from the free sites?

 

was just gonna type that. i've seen all your threads. 0% success.