Riley99 Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 I met a guy on Friday, and we were both really into each other. He asked for my number and like a genuine person who was into me. Next day, he texted me that he had a great time and wanted to get wine sometime, and wished me a good weekend. I texted back sounds good and I was up for it. Next day he texted that he worked nights but was free Tuesday and Weds. I said Tuesday was best and hopefully I wouldn't have to work late. He said sounds good, we could grab drinks after work or dessert. I was thinking that he'd call yesterday, but he didn't. Its 4pm on the day of the "date" and he hasn't called or texted. I really don't think that he would blow me off, but isn't this rude/disrespectful to wait to call this late? I'm feeling hurt, disrespected and a little upset! Is he just being a guy? Should I just chill out? Thank you!!! Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 It is very rude. If he calls you eventually, he better have a very very good reason why he did that. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Yes it would be rude of him not to call to confirm the date with enough notice. I do think though that your expectations of "genuineness" are a bit unrealistic. Let's assume he was as genuine as someone could be who just met another person and who intended at the time to see that person again. But that doesn't mean that he still felt as enthusiastic the next day, or the day after that - and if he didn't, that's perfectly reasonable and doesn't make him any less genuine. Link to comment
servedcold Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 If there has been no time and place set for the date yet, then yes he's being very rude. If a time and place are already set, he's just being a guy. Once a time and place are set, I usually don't confirm the day of the date, but just show up and expect her to also. Haven't been stood up in years doing this, and have never had a woman complain about it. Best wishes. Link to comment
AnotherBrokenDoll Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Just a suggestion, when he didn't txt or call you, why didn't you txt or call him? Maybe he thinks that if you were serious then you would call him back? I know its sort of in the rulebooks that guys are supposed to do all that stuff, but sometimes they need a bit of help.. I mean, how would you like to have to intiate everything? Just a thought. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 No, it's very rude! He should have called the day before to confirm your plans. If a man called the day of the date to confirm I would tell him that I made other plans and perhaps we could reschedule for another time. Link to comment
tao_of_me Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 No answer from OP yet? Maybe the guy called...... Link to comment
MyNinja Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 yeah, i think u should have called or texted him to see if the plans were still in order and if they are/were, what time should u be/been getting ready. don't always expect the guy to initiate everything, thats a bit unrealistic...he was probably wondering why u didn't call! Link to comment
moto_rider Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 No, it's very rude! He should have called the day before to confirm your plans. If a man called the day of the date to confirm I would tell him that I made other plans and perhaps we could reschedule for another time. so you'd lie cuz of that? how is calling to confirm on the day of the date rude? lying to reschedule and breaking a date is rude! Link to comment
mca1975 Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 ok ok, this is what I mean, the game playing! lol. Do I call? Do I not call? Is he wondering why I havent called him, it does my head in! lol, but its all part of the fun i suppose! He should have called by now, but yeh, I guess he may be waiting for you or is that just an excuse we give for men not calling us. After all, if he was eager to meet, he would have called by now. There is nothing wrong with texting him NOW, TODAY and just saying "hey, hows u? did you want to still meet up tonight, let me know, if not Im gonna make other plans, cheerio" - something like that. Then if he doesnt get back to you, then he is just rude! good luck Link to comment
Batya33 Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 I usually called the day of the date to confirm time and place if it needed to be confirmed and I hadn't heard. If he was supposed to call at a certain time and then called last minute I would feel fine telling him I had other plans. It wouldn't be a lie because if someone treated me that way it would be more important for me to have plans with myself than with him. Link to comment
vermilion Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 I'd say never take a date seriously until it's been confirmed at least once. Especially with someone you've never gone out with. I'd say, the best way to do it is make it quick and casual and on the same day that you mention it. For example, after work you call and meet up for drinks real quick. That way you get to sort of have a first date and they know you're serious and any future plans you make you intend to follow through on. With one guy I'd already gone out twice with, this happened to me. He said a friend had cancelled for the next day so I should come by and we could hang out. He ended up not calling me at all the next day! So I called him, and asked whether I should still come by, and he responded very awkwardly, saying he wasn't sure if it would work out and he doesn't know "what's going on here." Anyway I felt like a complete idiot because it was obvious that he'd forgotten and possibly invited another girl over. So I'd say never do that. If he made the date, he should be the one to confirm, not you. so you'd lie cuz of that? how is calling to confirm on the day of the date rude? lying to reschedule and breaking a date is rude! The point she's trying to make is, is that the other person needs to confirm the date much earlier. And if that person does call way later in the day, such as beyond the point you thought you would have gone out, you shouldn't have to up and change any new plans you made for that person. Also, it seems lame to the other person if they call and you're just immediately available. And besides, this person never called so he is rude. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 'hey we still on for this evening?' all you had to do. Link to comment
Riley99 Posted June 4, 2008 Author Share Posted June 4, 2008 Thanks everyone for your responses, they really helped. He called at 5pm, and I was on the phone so didn't answer. He left a message and said he was doing volunteer work and figured that I was still working so he would jump in the water to swim and would call me at 7. It was a nice message. But I agree that it shows a lack of consideration for my time so I called telling him that I got his message, and I wished that he had called earlier because I didn't hear from him and figured something came up, and accepted other plans, but still would like to meet up, if he wanted to reschedule, and to call me. Then I spent the night having dinner with girlfriends. He called at 7:01 and said we should go out tomorrow (which is today). He locked down a place and a time! I'm happy. I am trying to turn a new leaf and not allow myself to be taken for granted or disrepected, or by dropping everything to see someone. It doesn't start with them, it starts with ME. Thanks all! Link to comment
Aday5578 Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Great attitude!! I admire that in you Link to comment
ghost69 Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 you got all worried for no reason? Link to comment
servedcold Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 On the date, wouldn't bring up strip chess or the scheduling issue, just go have fun. Good luck with the date. Will be interested to hear how this guy turns out. Link to comment
Riley99 Posted June 5, 2008 Author Share Posted June 5, 2008 Hate to be so optimistic, but this guy really does seem like a nice guy. Anyway, an update...this morning, he texted at 11 am to say, "just thought I'd let you know I'm still planning to meet up with you this evening hope you are having a good day" Turns out that making other plans and NOT going out with him yesterday worked out... I was so afraid that I was being rude by doing that but all of my friends assured me that I should not be waiting by the phone and he needs to call in advance if he wants to spend time with me. Guess it worked! Link to comment
mca1975 Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 oh well done! it worked, he is all over you now! have a great time! I did that recently too and it worked for me too. x Link to comment
vermilion Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 Hate to be so optimistic, but this guy really does seem like a nice guy. Anyway, an update...this morning, he texted at 11 am to say, "just thought I'd let you know I'm still planning to meet up with you this evening hope you are having a good day" Turns out that making other plans and NOT going out with him yesterday worked out... I was so afraid that I was being rude by doing that but all of my friends assured me that I should not be waiting by the phone and he needs to call in advance if he wants to spend time with me. Guess it worked! That's great! It ended up working out after all Link to comment
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