The other darkside of dating for MEN ONLY................

[ConfusedDater]

trying to find the money in your budget to keep dating the same girl or multiple girls-lol Unless you are a 6-figure salary kind of guy, sometimes the money just isn't there to make an impression. Right now I have a idea for a great 3rd date with the girl i met 2 weeks ago, nice romantic restarunt, a walk along the waterfront after dinner and sitting under the trees as the sun sets and giving her $40 to take a cab home at the end of the night. That would run me a a little over $100 and that's just something I don't think I can do since my new rent increase starts on the 1st of June. So I know I can't tell her I can see her on the 15th of June when I get paid again so I may just have to lie because I honestly don't think I an go on a date right now with the new rent increase staring me in the face.

 

 

BTW: I really want to do this for her because I have not spent one dime on her YET and saw her twice in 3 days but my funds is so limited right now. The Darkside of dating for men

[DN]

I don't see why you have to pay for her cab.

[annie24]

what about having a picnic on that lake instead? get some sandwhiches, grapes, a bottle of wine. cheaper than a restaurant, and maybe more romantic. i think that good women will not care about the money. it's really the thought and effort that counts.

[ConfusedDater]

I don't see why you have to pay for her cab.

 

 

Come on, wouldn't that be a very nice thing to do after a date if you really like the girl?

[annie24]

does she not have a car? do you have a car?

[ConfusedDater]

does she not have a car? do you have a car?

 

 

 

I don't i'm not sure if she does, I think so. I know she doesn't drive to work, she catches the train in the city so myplan involved me and her going to another restarunt down the street from her job. And instead of her waiting for a train I thought i would step out the box and do something nice for her

 

 

especially since she is still talking to me after she paid for her own food on date #2

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I agree with DN that you shouldn't have to pay for her cab fare. As for the restaurant, a romantic restaurant doesn't have to be an expensive restaurant. I think a picnic on that lake is just as romantic..and if you don't want to make your own sandwhiches, usually you can find a place which sells party sandwhiches in a box...those are always good. Romance doesn't have to be expensive...in fact, it is the little special things that you can arrange for the get together that can make things very romantic...and they don't have to cost much.

[DN]

Come on, wouldn't that be a very nice thing to do after a date if you really like the girl?

It would be nice but not wise. In the first place you can't afford it, secondly it seems it would mean you can't ask her on the date and lastly it would set up expectations for the future.

[deleted-account]

First, she should be willing to pay for some of the date by the 3rd date. Don't try to impress her with expensive restaurants. Impress her with your personality. Dating is definitely expensive so you've got to find ways to have fun without spending money.

[Lowconfidence]

It would be a nice gesture for you to give her $40 for a cab ride but it's not necessary.

 

Yes this is a darkside for males who do not make six figures a yeah. The more money a male makes the easier it is to make an impression.

 

Let's think about it. If a male has more money they can afford to do more creative events. Dress better, plan more expensive trips.

 

Money does impress.

[CaptainPlanet]

I once offered to cook a woman pasta for a third date and she seemed very excited about the idea. But I did not end up getting a third date at all I think that was due to my poor telephone manner more so than the date being a bad idea.

 

Look for inexpensive dates that seem quirky and fun at the same time, I think women love that kind of thing.

[lady00]

I know this thread says for men only, but I just wanted to say, as a woman, I would not in any way shape or form expect a date to pay for my cab ride home and I would not think any less of him or think he liked me any less if he did not.

[ConfusedDater]

I know this thread says for men only, but I just wanted to say, as a woman, I would not in any way shape or form expect a date to pay for my cab ride home and I would not think any less of him or think he liked me any less if he did not.

 

 

That's my way of making up for not having a car

[RayKay]

I know this thread says for men only, but I just wanted to say, as a woman, I would not in any way shape or form expect a date to pay for my cab ride home and I would not think any less of him or think he liked me any less if he did not.

 

Me neither.

 

Heck, my first date with my boyfriend we split the bill - obviously I was not in the least bothered by it as I am still here 3.5 years later. To me it was only fair as we had such a great time, we spent more then we had planned! I appreciated his company as much as he did mine, so why not?

[RayKay]

That's my way of making up for not having a car

 

But why do you have to make up for not having a car? I have dated men without cars - whom either did not have them out of choice (i.e. they chose to bike everywhere) or circumstances (i.e. poor student or saving for a house - I would rather they be financially smart without a car then be in debt to have one they cannot afford!).

[lady00]

That's my way of making up for not having a car

 

Interesting...I'm from a place where many people don't have cars use public transport or cabs. Maybe that makes a difference. Not sure.

[agent1607307371]

That's my way of making up for not having a car

 

Why? There's nothing wrong with not owning a car. And if you play that angle right, it can come off like a really good thing.

 

Seriously, it's great gesture (if you really like someone - but not for a 3rd date) but in reality it's just going to a) make you skint, and b) give the girl unrealistic impression of you.

 

Throwing money/making a date expensive will leave an impression, but it's the company that will leave a good impression. Best date I ever had was going to the airport to watch planes. Sounds childish but it was fun to us.

[annie24]

That's my way of making up for not having a car

 

since you can't really afford to pay for her cab ride home, maybe it's not a good idea. afterall, might be better to save the $40 for your 4th date. you can always walk with her to the station and wait for the train with her.

 

or what about borrowing a friend's car for the date, and then drive her home?

[sophie274]

I think walking her to the train and waiting with her is just as nice and thoughtful as paying for the cab. Am I the only one who would feel weird being handed cash from a man on a date?

 

I agree with the picnic idea. (For a picnic you can go to a deli and pick some food up - still cheaper than restaurant!) You could also do something like have appetizers and dessert at home, and just get the entree at the restaurant. Can you cook?

What about going to a museum and then getting coffee/dessert instead?

[shes2smart]

Back when I was single and dating, a guy who threw around a lot of money on the first few dates made me a little uneasy.

 

I have this thing against feeling like I'm being bought.

 

Mr. Moneybags made an impression alright. Not a terribly favorable one...and probably not the one he thought he was making.....

[Day_Walker]

First of all I would ask you what is your goal in continuing to date this girl. If you are just dating her to date her then it is a waste of money. If you are working towards an actual goal with her then you need to be more effective with your dating ideas and plans. The idea that a date has to be romantic isnt always necessary instead how about doing something fun, interesting or something that is out of the ordinary. When you expand your date ideas beyond romance then you are given more options and you also arent being one dimensional.

[servedcold]

Yes, restaurants and alcohol will definitely strain your budget. Get friendly with websites that list goings on in your area. Lots are cheap or free, some you can bring wine to. Try to structure dates where the meal or drinks are not the focus, as those are the ones that will drain you. Focus on some cultural or city thing and get a quick bite after. Stay out of bars for the most part or clubs with cover charges.

 

Try to make your place presentable enough to have dates in, if it isn't already. After 3-5 dates, start to work home dates into the equation. If you do some homework on finding fun things to do, the woman will remember your dates for the rest of her life, unlike the $250 meal the last guy bought her.

 

If you run accross one who seems to "need" fancy restaurants and lots of expensive drinks out, move on, as this will characteristic will only get worse over time.

[thejigsup]

I like a guy with a car. I have one, they should have one, also. You can go so many more places with a car, it opens up the world for you. But where I live, everyone has a car. You can't get very far without one. If you live in an area where not having a car is common and is not necessary, then you have nothing to feel sorry for and she should pay her own train or cab fare. For a cheap date, cook for her and rent a movie of her choice. Pop some popcorn and have some wine and good conversation. It doesn't get any better than that for me!

[servedcold]

Agree about the car, unless you live in NYC.

[leafshockey_81]

i never overspend on the first few dates.. its 2008- get her to pay for half of everything thats what i do. plus if you are planning something long term it will just disappoint her in the future- manage her expectations!!!