I'm Married, but have a HUGE crush...

[headunderwater]

putting myself in this other womans position, i think she can tell a mile off you are oozing desperation by the fact you are thinking of every excuse you can think of to have contact with her.

i don't think she likes you at all i'm afraid to say, the way you have described her acting is how i would act if i didnt want to get to involved with someone at all and just wanted them to leave me alone.

she jsut wants you to back off without having to be so rude and tell you to leave her alone. if she liked you and wanted to persue things further, you would know about it. sorry to be blunt but it's true.

 

Yeah that is what I tried to say but couldn't find the words.

[doyathink]

Bingo. Get single, then play if you must. Less broken hearts and souls that way. I was born in the wrong decade...or grew up in the wrong one!

 

What do you mean by that? lol

[hamsalad]

What do you mean by that? lol

 

Me and my old-fashioned values. hehe

 

Blame my parents who have been married for 42 years and love each other immensely.

[LakerHater]

Yeah, this has all been killing me. I want to throw up in my mouth I make myself sick so much. every, single, day I wish that she quits. There's nothing I want more than for her to go away. I tried making a list of all of the things I hated about her (she's geeky, not a good conversationalist, not a great sense of humor, a little self-centered, too nervous around me to have a normal conversation, etc.). None of it's worked. I know it's because I see her everyday. Home has just been really rough, between my wife, the kids, a new puppy, and my sister-in-law, there is always someone at home crying, hungry, tired, upset with me, angry, or complaining then on the weekends I spend most of it at work because my wife kicks me out every time we fight. Some days I can't take it and some days it feels like an escape from reality just by sitting at my desk. I know the reality of the situation, I know nothing is going to happen, I just need to move on....

[hamsalad]

Buy a dirt bike and let's go riding. Nothing takes the edge off quite like that.

 

But, seriously. Step back and take an inventory of what you have and what you want, especially from your family.

[headunderwater]

I have a feeling there is more to the home thing than just everyone crying and annoying you. She kicks you out? Or you choose to run to work to cope.

 

You say this chick is all those things (the negative) but IMO...sounds like she just isn't into you man...so give up. Take the time to fix what you have.

[JadedStar]

To be honest the behaviors that you described do NOT sound like she likes you to me. Sounds like she is uncomfortable and you are two seconds away from a possible harassment suit. Anytime your actions make a person uncomfortable on the job you are potentially breaking company policy. Sending her funny pics and telling her jokes - man you are setting yourself up to get fired. Even if you find them innocuous, truth is you are using company time and resources to spread around goofball info. That is not applicable to the job. All it takes is one trip to HR and she talks about your little jokes and emails and you are under investigation.

 

Her behavior sounds like a person who is uptight and not sure how to approach you as she is professional and does not want trouble on the job.

 

Leave her alone before you lose your job, your wife, your kids, your home, your car...all of it.

 

And risk tarnishing your reputation in the community to boot.

 

If i were you i'd start looking for other jobs in the company and try to transfer out of this situation. Remove yourself frmo the temptation.

[redhearts]

Tell your wife the truth, real truth.

[HeartGoesOn]

"MY QUESTIONS: 1. Is she really interested in me? 2. What the hell do I do? Ignore her like she's a fly on the wall? 3. How do I get past this?....."

 

Question #1

Why would you care? You're married

 

Question #2

Treat her the same way you treat your other co-workers.

 

Question #3

You get past this by remembering that you have a wife and two children.

[Aleadragonhawk]

Can you switch departments? Move desks? Change companies?

 

I don't think that there's anything wrong with having a crush when you're in a long-term relationship. It happens. It's how you react to it. You're deliberately pursuing her, and to me that goes beyond just having a crush and goes into planning to cheat.

[Krystal_Ivy]

you two should seek marital counseling.

[CallingAllAngels]

MY QUESTIONS: 1. Is she really interested in me? 2. What the hell do I do? Ignore her like she's a fly on the wall? 3. How do I get past this?.....

 

Thanks

 

What DIFFERNCE DOES IT MAKE IF SHE'S INTERESTED IN YOU?????

 

DID YOU FORGET THE PART WHERE YOU'RE MARRIED?

 

Do you remember promising your wife forever?

 

What about your 2 kids? What the hell are you gonna tell them?

 

Do you think they'll understand?

 

Why don't you really think about this? When you really think about this, there is NOTHING to think about...

 

How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot???

 

Do you really wanna destroy your family over a crush?

 

My marriage ended over an affair.

 

Talk to my husband and see how happy he is now that he cheated on me.

 

Ask him if he thinks it was worth it...

[BeStrongBeHappy]

So let's see... you're asking your wife for dating advice with this girl???

 

Yes, she could be shy... or she could be picking up that you're salivating over her and be so creeped out by that fact because you are married, older, and work together that she totally freezes up around you.

 

Believe me, I had a guy like you where i worked once. He got this huge honking crush on me, and i was so totally appalled at his attempts at flirting and the 'extra' attention he paid me that i was beside myself with anxiety about what to do. I'd see him heading down the hall towards me and want to beat myself to death with my shoe before he got there.

 

It ended very badly with me having to go to my boss and HR to finally get it thru this guy's thick skull that it was WORK and not a place for bored middle aged married guys to try to chat up girls they thought were attractive. She's a prisoner at work and knows it, so while you're thinking you're being all suave and sophisticated trying to flirt with her, she may be wishing she was dead because she can't get away from you.

 

So remember that WORK is WORK. And that YOU are MARRIED. And that SHE and YOUR WIFE deserve RESPECT. Next time you are tempted remind yourself: WORK, MARRIED, WIFE, RESPECT. And leave that girl alone to do her job.

[Enigmatika]

WEll said....especially the beating self with shoe.

 

When I worked in an office....in my early years...I came to the conclusion that married men were pigs..[ fair or not is another debate...]

 

Fix the problems on the home front...the office space is just a Fantasy break.

[rocio]

I noticed the same thing when I worked at a bank for six years. The single guys were my buddies, and the married ones I couldn't stand to be around. It was horrible there. Our married manager knocked up a sixteen year old. Another newlywed started sexually harassing me and others. It was totally disheartening. And I told my boss when I quit that I felt they acted worse than teenagers. He told me he would have gone out with me.

 

There is nothing worse than working with a bunch of hard-up, horny married men. Never regretted quitting that job.

 

oh god, that's sad.

 

reminds me of something a workmate of mine recently said. We were talking about what kinds of alcohol we like to drink. I mentioned that I mostly drink wine, but only 1 glass with dinner because, after a second glass, I just fall asleep. He said, "Oh, good to know".

 

What the heck does that mean? Freak!

 

I guess that we can spend more time with our workmates than our family members and it's easy for men to get distracted.

[Mr. Brightside]

"MY QUESTIONS: 1. Is she really interested in me? 2. What the hell do I do? Ignore her like she's a fly on the wall? 3. How do I get past this?....."

 

You should ask your wife these questions. I bet she could give you some good feedback. Maybe you can work on your marriage while your at it rather than running away from it.

[Mr. Brightside]

There is nothing worse than working with a bunch of hard-up, horny married men. Never regretted quitting that job.

 

So... how about Saturday night?

 

 

[doyathink]

Me and my old-fashioned values. hehe

 

Blame my parents who have been married for 42 years and love each other immensely.

 

Nothing wrong with having values in this decade, or the last.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

I think that there are lots of married men who want to PLAY at being single but really can't. They know they can't go out flirting with girls on times outside of work since their wives expect them home and will get suspicious.

 

So the only spare time they have to flirt and chase women is at work. But the problem is that 99% of those women at work really don't want some married guy bothering them and trying to flirt with them or get them to go out with them. But the women are trapped at work and it is hard to get away from these guys without being really rude or causing trouble.

 

So married guys just hammer on the single girls while convincing themselves the girl is interested when all she is doing is trying to be polite and professional.

 

It's gross when married guys use company time to try to entice single girls to date them. Married guys have to realize just because she doesn't run screaming away from you or rudely put you down like she would if you bothered her in a bar doesn't mean she's interested. She knows she doesn't want to create conflict because she has to work with you, but 99% of the time she wants you to just GO AWAY, leave her alone, and go back to work!!!

[doyathink]

^Thats certainly not the case with my ex. He found three willing participants....three.

[hamsalad]

^Thats certainly not the case with my ex. He found three willing participants....three.

 

3? Good lord, that's retarded. Sorry about that nonsense.

[CallingAllAngels]

Yeah! Retarded he is. lol But the funny part is, now that he's single, none of them want him.

 

Ain't that always the way....

 

Too bad so very very sad...

 

*A tear*

[hamsalad]

Yeah! Retarded he is. lol But the funny part is, now that he's single, none of them want him.

 

Karma's a b****

 

Now, if I could get MY karma back in order!

[doyathink]

It's amazing how less in demand you are when you are single. People tend to get cocky from all the atttention they get when they are taken. Sad for them.

 

Thats very true.

[PixelPusher]

To the OP: I agree withe the rest here who say you need to buckle down and be a moral, loving man to your wife and your children. No one ever said marriage was easy! Just because you're having marital problems doesn't mean you need to go pursuing other women.

 

Look, I feel it's nearly impossible to go your entire life ONLY being attracted to one person. It's not how humans work. Of COURSE you're going to be attracted to other women throughout your life. But when you said "I DO" to your wife, you agreed to stay by her through thick and thin, through arguments and laughter, and through being attracted to other people.

 

You DO have the willpower to do this. There shouldn't be any question, dude. You don't have to ignore the woman, just treat her with the same respect you do your other co-workers. Her having a crush on you shouldn't affect anything. So what? You love your wife and your kids. Sorry, but man up and stay faithful. That's what a "marriage" is. It's not something to just throw away and pursue another pair of legs the moment it gets tough.