Hunny1607307342 Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 Text msg "Are you going out tonight?" "no plans yet, why?" "i have a friend who's having a party at this club, i'm not going but i was wondering if you wanted to go." "Thank you but i dont think i'm up for partying tonight". Why the ------- would he invite me to a stranger's party which he is not even going to be at. I really had my hopes up when he sent me the original text. What a screwed up thing to do. Of course its not really a screwed up thing to do, i'm just reacting in a screwed up way. :splat: Link to comment
stubbs35 Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 I don't know, I don't get this at all Hunny! 0_0 Does he talk to you regularly, could he be trying to re-initiate contact with you? Maybe it's part of his job, he is a club promoter right? Maybe he is trying to fill the party? Link to comment
luxe_13 Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 it is weird. especially if this is his first contact with you after breaking up. is he a club promoter? try not to read too much into it.. Link to comment
DN Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 I wonder if he meant that he isn't going but would if you said you would go with him. Link to comment
CHEMICAL_ROMANCEXXX Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 i would not read too much into it. maybe he is playing games but more likely he just thought you might fancy a night out. are you two seeing each other? Link to comment
Hunny1607307342 Posted March 21, 2008 Author Share Posted March 21, 2008 he doesn't promote for this club i am just so pissed off right now. telling me to go to this place , just because he's not going to be there. i mean i like having his friendship but what is this about- he clearly wouldn't have invited me if he was going. thats what aggrivates me Link to comment
Hunny1607307342 Posted March 21, 2008 Author Share Posted March 21, 2008 No we spoke briefly for 5 mins this morning , really really general chit chat. we are just on LC basically. speak once every few weeks. arghhh Link to comment
LilBear Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 He probably wants to keep tabs on you, if you're dating anyone. It's a selfish way of making sure you do not move on before he does. Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 Hunny -- I said this on one of your other threads: I don't think you should try to be *friends* with him right now. He seems to be playing games. I read the text he sent you, and it seems to me that he was telling you about a party that he KNEW he wasn't going to, which makes NO sense whatsoever. It just seems like silly, immature game-playing on his part. Yuck. Link to comment
NorthDallas40 Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 Yeah games like this are a drag. Last month after not hearing from my ex for a couple of weeks, she texted me out of the blue. And to be honest, I was pretty excited but tried not to get my hopes up. Which was good. This was her text. "What were the ingredients of that portobello mushroom sandwhich I made?" I mean, talk about a bummer! THEN on top of that, she posted an online journal entry later that day about how she went on a picnic with someone (most likely a guy, but the entry was vague about that) and made them a portobello mushroom sandwhich with white wine and fruit! Since she's been behaving a little more interested since then, I'm chalking it up to her just wanting to get my attention without admitting she was missing me. But I feel your confusion. I guess I just wanted to let you know you're not the only one who gets disappointing, confusing, and just plain frustrating texts from their ex! ](*,) Link to comment
Hunny1607307342 Posted March 21, 2008 Author Share Posted March 21, 2008 He is really not the type to play games, that's why this is all the more puzzling to me. He is usually very honest and to the point. I just think he wanted to see if I fancied a good night out. I should really be thinking, oh how nice of him, but just feel a bit sad because i thought he actually wanted to see me and its just one big disappointment. Link to comment
Hunny1607307342 Posted March 21, 2008 Author Share Posted March 21, 2008 haha- I just spoke to a friend, she just joked saying, text him tomorrow night and say "What are you doing tonight?" and then say "oh ok, i have 2 cinema tickets, i was wondering if you wanted to go with a friend". Link to comment
LilBear Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 You're absolutely right. It's not as if she's forgotten the ingredients, she texted just to see if you're "there". Which is why most of us should go NC as to not be stuck in this rut. I had frustrating texts from my ex too. But that was in the past. You have to make your stand, Hunny. Link to comment
Hunny1607307342 Posted March 21, 2008 Author Share Posted March 21, 2008 The thing is i really want him to have the impression ive moved on. Its nearly 6 months down the line- i can't show that i am affected by anything he'd say to me. That's why I'm cool calm and collected very limited contact. Of course on the inside i'm not calm but as far as he's concerned i am. Link to comment
LilBear Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 He is really not the type to play games, that's why this is all the more puzzling to me. He is usually very honest and to the point. I just think he wanted to see if I fancied a good night out. I should really be thinking, oh how nice of him, but just feel a bit sad because i thought he actually wanted to see me and its just one big disappointment. Don't make anymore excuses for him. He is playing games, unintentionally and unconsciously. As for being disappointed, you will continue to feel this way as long as you keep in contact with him because all he is doing is feeding you crumbs, not the whole cake. Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 LilBear, she's trying to give him the image that she is calm, cool, and collected, even though she might NOT be. She knows what she's doing. She's not making excuses. Link to comment
Hunny1607307342 Posted March 21, 2008 Author Share Posted March 21, 2008 thanks renaissance woman, that's exactly it- im just trying to avoid him but at the same time, in situations where contact may arise come off as aloof. Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 Aloofness and calmness is cool. Don't let him see you crack. Whenever he sees you, be your best, shine, show him what he is missing. Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 Hunny -- I said this on one of your other threads: I don't think you should try to be *friends* with him right now. He seems to be playing games. I read the text he sent you, and it seems to me that he was telling you about a party that he KNEW he wasn't going to, which makes NO sense whatsoever. It just seems like silly, immature game-playing on his part. Yuck. i agree, given your history with this man and the breakup, i'm not sure contact is a great idea. especially if you're going to be getting texts like this. Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 i agree, given your history with this man and the breakup, i'm not sure contact is a great idea. especially if you're going to be getting texts like this. Yep...hunny, you say he's not the type to play games, but...it seems to me that it's exactly what he's doing, just as he seemed to be doing that in the online conversation you posted a few days ago -- all that back and forth about him dating someone, then saying he was lying, then saying he wasn't - ridiculous, immature stuff. Ignore. Ignore. Ignore. Don't respond to him, at least at this point. If you see him out somewhere, be polite, but don't be overly enthusiastic. Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 why do you think he is playing games? Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 why do you think he is playing games? because it's amusing him. one day he tells her he never wants to speak to her again, then next day he wants to be friends. then the lies about whether or not her has a gf.... and then he wants to know what she is doing on a certain night, not to ask her out, but to tell her about some event. all games. Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 because it's amusing him. one day he tells her he never wants to speak to her again, then next day he wants to be friends. then the lies about whether or not her has a gf.... and then he wants to know what she is doing on a certain night, not to ask her out, but to tell her about some event. all games. Exactly, Annie. Mature people don't do this stuff. I forgot about him telling her he never wanted her to contact him again. And then he changes his mind the next day? It just all seems really childish to me. It would drive me nuts, and I'd have to cut him loose, if it were me. Link to comment
LilBear Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 I did cut mine loose, because I was verging on insanity. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 I am confused because you were so very insistent on your other thread about having no, not limited, contact with him for at least a few months. This is the downside of staying in contact. But, maybe it's positive in the sense that seeing the downside will make you less motivated to continue being in contact - limited or otherwise. Link to comment
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